Sup Veeky Forums

Just be careful if you're not talking, contributing to a conversation is key to survival in a social environment. If you just stand there not doing anything you seem like a creepy lurker or someone with big problems (you do have them, just other people aren't meant to know). sitting down with a drink in your hand and not staring at one person is socially acceptable if you have nothing to say.

*situation* 3 dudes chatting about X and Y, you are sitting in on the conversation but you don't care or you don't have anything interesting to input, make sure you are doing something, like drinking a beverage water/beer anything, when they turn to you and say "what do you think user" or something along them lines, make a very neutral statement like "I don't have much to say on this topic" or "I'm just listening to what you guys have to say". It's acceptable because you are listening and not just sitting in to try and be liked (which again you are but they don't need to know).

After a conversation, don't follow people around, just do your own things or stay in the vicinity, It'll make it look like you don't need attention and you were just interested in that convo.

i would say i have, my boring, shy, quiet, autistic self

you don't need to start conversations, that's only if you want a partner in your life.

tbqh this but, don't ride off your old accomplishments and always look to be a little bit better in whatever it is you are doing
>you aren't a writer if your book was published 15 years ago and you don't write books anymore

thanks

i am a kv, i would like a gf

what if i don't have any meaningful accomplishments?

Read.

Also your question is shit. Altering your personality to be likable won't lead to happiness or to being truly liked, its a falsehood and any rewards it reaps will be sour. You'll become a slave to the people who think of you as a friend, who think you to be like minded, you'll become a slave to your own lies that you told to be merely seeming of happiness.

Being truthful and just is the only way to have a healthy soul and to be happy. Happiness is self sustaining, wealth, honor, or pleasure are merely steps man takes in order to try and achieve happiness and it has been recited time and time again that these things are never a suitable replacement. You are either happy or you aren't happy, and the only way to be happy is through actions that are happy and good.

You need a healthy soul, which comes from a healthy life with meaning and fulfillment for simply your lifes sake, not for any external gratification.

P.S. according to Aristotle being ugly is also a one way ticket to unhappyville

"There are some things; lack of which takes the luster from happiness, as good birth, good children, and beauty; for the man who is very ugly in appearance or illborn, or solitary and childless is not very likely to be happy, and perhaps a man would still be less likely if he had thoroughly bad children or friends or had lost good children of friends by death." - Aristotle

in your quote, Aristotle also says being solitary will make you unhappy? so wouldn't friends help?

He also says you'll be be still less likely if you have bad friends.

FORD method is usually easy conversation.
Family
Occupation
Recreation
Dreams

I'd start with occupational/recreational stuff first, nobody wants to talk about dreams and family with the autistic kid from class.

You could also just read those works and decide for yourself rather than take my heresay.

>Plato "Apology"
>Plato "Crito"
>Plato "The Republic" book 1 & 2 (more like chapter 1 & 2), 2 is likely to be very helpful as it compares in a basic sense the unjust mans life verses the just mans, and directly tackles the subject of seeming to be just vs actually being just and good. Though it mainly just shits on actually being just for that book, in the later books they try and find why they believe being sincerely just to be a beneficial thing in and of itself as Socrates believes.
>Aristotle "Nicomachean Ethics"

how do i think of things to ask?
like for family, all i ever ask is about siblings, and where someone grew up/lives
i can't even think of questions

philosophy is bullshit, get real.

examples:
aristotle believed the purpose of the state is to not only help us develop, but to also help us develop our virtues.

4 virtues for plato and socrates: wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance.

socrates believed in censorship like censoring music since it was "corrupting people".

they also believed in reincarnation, a bullshit process called "tripartite soul" which determined what class (ruler, soldier, or peasant) you would be in a civilized society.
>t. just finished (and passed) pointless philosophy class in college

Not that user you've responded to but thanks for these, i'm going to read all that shit in hope of some brain gains. Got any more recommendations?

I can't believe people like you are having good educations wasted on them.

Do you suppose that unless 10/10 axioms expressed in a body of thought are 100% true, that the philosophy is utterly worthless?

Learn how to extract information that has value from the stratus of misguided or mistaken information that may surround it, especially when you are talking about a body of theory that is out of contemporary context.

Philosophy as scripture is bullshit. Hence "read those works and decide for yourself rather than take my heresay."

I had near the same opinion when Socrates was describing his ideal state, where he would censor stories and plays to try and craft people into only having knowledge of what they believed to be just and good. I also thought many a time that Socrates took unrelated scenarios and applied them as logic, hence

"What do you think justice is?"
"DOES A HORSEMAN DO UNTO A HORSE IN THE MANNER OF A HORSE?"
"Dude what the fuck are you talking about"
"HMMMM IF YOU COULD SPEAK THE TRUTH OF JUSTICE I WOULD SURELY CALL YOU THE WISER I AM BUT A SIMPLE FOOL HMMMM ;^^^^)))))"

But the point is reading from these people, people who have greatly influenced western civilization, greatly broadens your perspective of your ideas, your culture, and your timeline in human history. You're actively choosing to remain a fool who doesn't even have the knowledge to make his own choice. You're censoring yourself and robbing yourself from interesting and rational though that will build character and will strengthen your ideas and life.

I'm pretty sure that's pornstar Mandy Muse. And she is indeed a real freak...loves anal and talks so dirty you can almost taste the daddy issues

I have a set of these at my house that I'm reading through
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Books_of_the_Western_World

If you can find an ebook, or pdf version I'd highly recommend them. You won't be able to read them in any short amount of time. I'm just reading the 10 year tour reading plan that touches on every author.

Hell if you have the money they're only like 200-300 dollars on ebay and they're straight up every relevant work of literature in western civilization.

bump
how do i get a personality and be likeable?

it's Ana Cheri

...

jes be urslef :^)

I know this bitch. Lives in El Paso, works at this shit hole bar called Rubiks. Names Diana

Are you seriously too stupid to realize that you will be presented with new information as they answer your "basic" questions. They you can ask them to extrapolate on details, or make some comment/statement about what they just said, based on general knowledge you have. If you're so uncreative that you dont understand how this work, man I feel bad for you.

No. That's Vicki Li, "import" model.

Sorry, my spelling was so fucked in that post, but just in case you took it the wrong way, I am not some type of "retarded socialite", I think you are willfully ignorant to the dynamics of a conversation because of deeper seated issues that need resolve.

Might sound stupid but I used to be pretty autistic until I bought The Game by Neil Strauss. It really made me realise that you can change yourself and I started looking into everything surronding that from there.

Here's literally the three easy steps to get people to like you socially:

1) Say their name a lot (don't be autistic about it, but start and end conversations with their name)
>Hey NAME how's it going
>alright see you later NAME

2) Find out something they're interested in and ask them about it. This is pretty straightforward, people like to talk about themselves and the shit they like.

2b) Agree with them. Just on the shit they're talking about, be agreeable and interested in what they're saying. Fake it if you gotta (you will)

3) this one is important BE NICE. Seriously, just try and be a nice positive person. Don't be shitty, don't shoot down the things they have to say. Don't talk to them like they're a poster on Veeky Forums because YES some people are autistic enough to do that and YES it's uncomfortable for everyone.

Number 3 is the big one my dudes. Be cool to people if you want to make friends. Stop being so contentious and argumentative. You push people away. Take a fucking chill pill.

>1) Say their name a lot
HOLY SHIT I FUCKING HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY MY NAME

In addition make or joke or two. Enough to show you've got a sense of humor. Playfully tease even eventually. But don't go overboard- if you make yourself out as a clown girls will think of you as such.

Girls like it since they feel they're getting your attention and you're remembering shit. It's more personal.

If you want to be likeable/interesting to others, be interested to them.

Make them feel good while talking to you by listening. It may feel that you are forcing yourself at first but it's socially acceptable.

Also, try convo techniques like 'sensible parroting', 'never naked replies', 'flooding smile', 'sticky eyes'..I read these from a book before. Sorry I couldn't remember the author & title.

Julien?

Listen dude, we could spend hours and hours trying to give you tips, and you would probably wouldn't understand them at all/miss a lot important tips.
It's up to you wheter you become an actor, or you actually get a "personality". First one seems the most plausible one, since "personality" is something we build from our past, i suggest you to change your past by acting and eventually get a new personality.

Anyways, here's the trick; analize, understand and emulate. Analize your surroundings, if there's a "model" around you (someone that has a personality, is likeable, funny, and a social magnet) analize what he does/doesn't, his behaviour, etc, not just like staring at him but by doing it in a discrete way, if you have no model around you, i guess that TV can work, after that you gotta understand everything that he does, and he doesn't, after that you just emulate all of that.

>Nearly 2017
>Not b-ing urself

Really Veeky Forums? Fucking REALLY?

I want to be social but people only talk about boring shit like soccer, work or children. No thanks.

thanks for the advice

i don't say people's names and do want to fix that, the only people i talk to are coworkers really (no friends), and i just say "hey" when i see them usually

>make a joke
>tease
i don't know how, i might have different standards for comedy. i don't find many tv shows funny
i overhear conversations from coworkers, they laugh at things said, but they don't really say anything i would think is funny

this is great advice, much appreciated anons for not shitposting

edit: here's a pic of two cuties as my way of saying thanks, enjoy!

thanks, i will take a look at those techniques

i don't like asking too many questions, because i feel like i'm interviewing the other person.

i don't have anything to say usually, i don't have any interests or any stories or anything to contribute to the conversation myself. so the other ends up doing the talking, which i think most people don't like (doing all the talking and leading the conversation)

thanks
>someone that has a personality, is likeable, funny, and a social magnet) analize what he does/doesn't, his behaviour, etc
the most likeable coworker i have is really good looking, and always has a story that puts him in a good light
i don't have any stories tbqh

...

bump

maybe i am myself

meant to quote

>Start to read books a lot, they can be about anything as long as they are non-fiction. Shoot for 1-2 books a week, learn something new, read about self improvement if possible. You'll start to rewire your brain to receive information through conscious observation (reading), eventually this will turn into the ability to send and receive information.
>If you have social anxiety, go to the library and read there. Get used to being around people. Go to the gym at peak hours, try to work in with others. Wear headphones if you want, but get used to dealing with people. Start as an observer. See how people are interacting, focus on the people who you think are the most attractive, charismatic, etc. What are they doing that you aren't? Take notes on your observations, read the notes frequently
>If you are already working out and eating good, start to make changes to your wardrobe, hygiene and grooming routines. Get clothes that you feel confident wearing that fit you well and accentuate your best features. Shave your patchy beard - or grow it out - but don't leave the house looking like a bum. Brush your teeth and floss every damn day. Get a haircut every month whether you think you need it or not. You know that feeling you get after a good, clean haircut? Get used to feeling that way more often. You aren't doing these things for anybody but yourself. You want to look good and be healthy because it's something that YOU value.
>Clean your apartment and house. Do a total purge, get rid of shit that you don't need or don't use. Throw out and donate furniture and clothing, clean out your fridge. You can't receive new things in your life if you are too busy holding onto the old things.
>Start to learn about saving and investing if possible. You don't need to be a wiz, but financial insecurity is so common and people can really pick up on it when someone is worried about who will pick up the check.

(Will cont. if people want)

>Start to be BOLD in your actions. Want to take a snapchat of the passed out homeless guy? Hold the camera up and take the picture, don't be a bitch and try to hide the phone close to your body. Have something to say? Say it LOUD. Walking through the grocery store? Walk in the middle of the isle and make your presence known. Deadlifting? Drop the weight from the top and let the noise ring through the gym. Don't do this out of desperation or for attention, do it because THIS IS YOUR WORLD, and everyone else is just living in it

>Overcoming social anxiety? Start by complimenting strangers once per day. Hey I like your dress, your perfume smells good, it can be a guy or a girl, it really doesn't matter. Get used to pushing yourself outside of your social comfort zone. Behave naturally, don't be fake with your comments.
>Be outcome independent. Let someone pull out in front of you and don't expect a "thank you" wave. Compliment someone, hold a door open, and don't expect anything in return. The alpha male does things because it is what he wants to do, not because he expects the eventual payoff. This is why "nice guys" don't get laid. They talk to women kindly, do things for them, but it's all a facade because they EXPECT women to reward them after they do these things. Chad does these things because they are what he believes he should do, regardless of whether he is banging the chick or not.

>LEARN TO BE HONEST AND UPFRONT ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS
(ran out of room, will follow up)

SAUCE famalam?

thanks

bump

He need to learn fiction too. You learn to empathize with good fiction. Maybe he will learn not to be a robot anymore.

>>LEARN TO BE HONEST AND UPFRONT ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS
You should never feel bad about your goals and desires. If you want to be a player that's shredded and fucks mad girls, OWN THAT SHIT. You know why girls flock to flaming gay guys? Because they are confident as fuck about themselves, who they want to be, and the actions that they take. They don't give a fuck if you call them a faggot or gay or any names. They know who they want to be and they own it.

If you meet a girl and think of her as girlfriend material, OWN IT. Treat her like a girlfriend, be nice and loving and vulnerable for her. If you think she is trashy and best suited for a FWB or one night stand, make it clear that all you want to do is fuck her. Be direct, don't be one of these pussies that beats around the bush and is shy and timid about talking to beautiful women. You give up control when you do that. BE the alpha male that leads and is in control. Start screening women. Find shit about girls that you don't like and reasons not to fuck them. Don't get carried away with it, but get used to knowing that you CAN but WON'T sleep with girls, not that you can't because they won't sleep with you.

Life is way too short to not be direct. My current GF and I went on a few dates without hooking up. I saw her as a girlfriend type and wanted to take it slow and screen her. I was fucking other girls, but I liked her a lot. After about 3-4 dates we start fucking on the reg and doing more cute shit. I moved in with her after about 3 months and everything was fucking great. We're only a year and a half into our relationship and I got her pregnant, literally told her to stop taking birth control because I wanted to make babies with her, and she fucking did it. I own this girl. You can own a girl or girl(s) too if you apply yourself. Shit it might not work out, but I am living exactly as I want to.

Look if you want to be some pothead loser who sits at home and jerks off all day, you totally can do that and it is fine. But own it. Don't complain that you want to be a Chad who bangs girls if you make no effort to get ripped and meet sloots.

>DEVELOP YOUR SOCIAL INTUITION
Learn to be emotional, learn to be vulnerable and honest about your emotions. Be natural, relaxed and confident. Decisive, assertive, dominant. Don't be an arrogant douchebag, you can do these things without acting like Tyrone. You are socially intelligent and non-reactive.

If you smoke weed or drink a lot, you need to stop for at least 3 weeks. It will help normalize your social behavior and your social confidence. You will need a canoe to paddle out of the rivers of vaginal fluids that develop when you have a completely honest and empathetic conversation with a woman. You know why that skinny loser has a 10/10 gf and you don't? It's because he is in control of his mental state, understands emotions, and better yet, has the social intuition to read the emotions of the person he is speaking with and empathizes with them.

I need to learn how to dance at clubs, its all im lacking
how the fuck do I fix this? got invited to spend news years with some girls and they want me to dance

Main thing is just as the sticky says:

> You get in shape, and more importantly stay in shape, by accumulating significant, but livable, improvements to your lifestyle over time, and building on that. Not by going through some horrible ordeal requiring Olympian willpower.

Same thing with being a good well-balanced likeable person. Don't aim to be Ferris Bueller overnight; aim to be a little better than you were yesterday, and take failures as an opportunity to learn and get better still.

Another hint: take a few hours to read /r9k/, get a feel for the mind set, then promise yourself to never ever take their attitude.

>Ferris Bueller
A fag who's only likeable in movie land?

Well, yeah. Don't be that.

wikihow.com/Be-Friendly

I used to love asians when I was beta and awkward because they were very similar to me.

Nowadays I find the "so meek and beta" personality thing they do very annoying.

thanks

thanks, that's a good mindset, but i often feel like i don't really progress day to day. at least not socially. there aren't that many people i talk to. like I'm at work and the group of people behind me are friendly with each other and chitchat. no one talks to me

MedFag here, I am the king of the ten minute convo. Here are just some things I have to say about communication.
> Nail down a warm introduction. Look at the person in the eyes, give a slight but not a creepy smile, lean forward and shake their hand. Tell them its nice to meet them or good morning and ask their name.
> Remember their name and make sure to drop it once later on to show you've been listening
> Master the polite laugh. People come out with the same terrible jokes, but not laughing at them makes you seem cold. You would not believe how many times I've asked "so whats brought you in today?" And they've responded with "The ambulance" or "The Taxi". The laugh should be strong enough to make the person relax, but not long enough to come across as disingenuine.
> If people bring up a subject, that isn't you, its normally because they're interested in that subject. Nod your head every so often to show you're listening and ask appropriate questions to show you care.
> Ask lots of questions about them, but make sure you drop polite, positive opinions of your own. If you're really interested, drop comments like "Oh wow that would be amazing to go and see" or "I'd love to do something like that". Do not drop these comments if you're only being polite, otherwise if you get an invite it comes across as rude when you pull out all your best excuses. However, don't just become a nodding yes-man.
> Never say anything about someone behind their back that you wouldn't be willing to say to their face. Remembering this will save you from more awkward moments than any other piece of advice you could possibly get.
> Make sure you know a handful of good jokes or stories. Its pretty easy to have a good story as a MedFag but at the same time, make sure you're not repeating yourself or obviously trying to steer conversation towards your story or joke.

Do you avoid making dumb jokes yourself or are they also a part of your daily cordial conversation?

>Never say anything about someone behind their back that you wouldn't be willing to say to their face. Remembering this will save you from more awkward moments than any other piece of advice you could possibly get.

I have a feeling you might just be judging yourself too harshly. My bf was a kissless virgin at 24 when I met him. He kept putting himself down and ignoring my advances because he thought he was getting his hopes up for no reason (his words). He couldn't I understand why i liked but he really was just a nice guy who didn't put on any pretences or try to 'game' me. Having hobbies helps give you out a something to talk about and share a mutual interest in with a girl. Plus activities give you time to get to know know someone better but with less pressure/less implication that you're going to try and bone straight away on either of you. If it goes with that way, go with it tho.

Incremental improvements user. From asking a stranger for the time, to striking up a conversation with that cute girl in the park is just a matter of forming habits.

>Learn to be emotional, learn to be vulnerable and honest about your emotions.
I know HOW to do these things, but not WHEN. I mean, I figure it's not a good idea to be vulnerable and open to someone you just met, so when's the right time to do it? How do you judge when is the right time to be all these things?

Ask them to teach you to dance, they will love it

I'm not with them outside going out for shots and clubbing so yeah

Do you know any other girls who you can ask?

not really, people I knew left for uni so im fucked
tried youtube but its ridiculous shit, straight out of some NSync videoclip

Think of it this way, how many people are saying interesting things?

I guess I have pretty much the same social problems as you. Awkward around people, shy, not funny, boring personality, etc.
I managed to get laid though. Here is how.
>be me
>living with parents, only leave house for college, etc.
>start to hit gym
>move in dorm
>awkward af, not making any friends, etc
>Decide it is time for a change last spring
>hit gym 7 days a week, eat like a mf, let beard grow, etc
>mad face and gym gainz
>probably an overall 8/10
>girls approach me now but still not able to have real conversations
>strategy change: approach any girl that comes close (at least say hi or something) but just ask questions and smile like an idiot
I managed to get laid once since spring by this method. A lot of the girls I met over the last few month were into me but I'm still very shy when it comes to sexual things.
So in short get aesthetic, approach a lot of girls, smile all the time, ask questions and act like you are interested.

Pick a clubby song, listen to the beat, move to it.
When you can move in time with the beat then you can start learning and adding more dance moves.
Practice makes perfect.

>move to the beat
Soooo... dance? I don't know how to dance senpai

thanks
i do just nod all the time, i need to say more

i don't have any jokes or stories though, actually thinking of spending time making up my own stories

Good advice. But don't take snapchats of passed out homeless guys. People will think you're a dick at best.

...

Watch a tutorial on the side step and then nod your head slightly to the beat and don't do to much with your arms. Moving to the rythm is learned fast but actual good dancing is fucking impossible for me.

Firm handshakes are important. My friend introduced me to some random twat. He said I had a weak handshake and wouldn't stop talking about it. Couldn't care less of his opinion but it shows how important it can be

This is damn important. My teen cousin always has those sticky, damp hands and then just gives his hand to you. It's like grabing a dead fish. Make sure you wash your hands with soap at least everytime you use the bathroom and give it a squeez. No need to crush the hand, that is pretty autistic too but don't just give me your lump of hand.

>>probably an overall 8/10
well i'm not attractive and no girl approaches me

bump

...

>tfw no gf

The udders on that girl

good taste

...

i don't see anyone to talk to usually
i go to work, then go home

it's winter, so can't go to the park. where do i go to strike up conversations with people

how often do you shake people's hands?
i don't meet new people often

bump
the only people i talk to are co-workers who i have to talk to as part of my job

>tfw just overheard conversation with chad and Stacy co-workers
>literally just talk about things they are doing with their friends over the holidays, and stories of things they've done with their friends
>all I'm doing is staying at home, and i have no stories because i have no friends
feels bad man

...

breh.

Maybe if you'd stop saving countless pictures of sluts on your computer, you'd actually care about women and would want to impress them

For YOU anons, and remember about hygiene, like teeth brushing,nails clipping once a week, everyday shower, and clean fresh pants and socks every fucking morning GOD Damn it!