>be me
>lonely as fuck when gf isn't here
>supposed barracks bunny lives next door
>every night she's getting reamed
>fuck it, why not fap
>11/10 moans, squeals, slapping noises
>even asks permission to cum
>goes on for about two weeks
>fast forward to today
>2015 hours
>completely naked
>anticipating moanchick.mp3
>knock on my door
>"hey, do you have a girlfriend?"
>recognize the voice
>it's moanchick.mp3
>play it cool
>uhhhh yeah why?
>"we found a phone, can you open to see if you know these people?"
>finally get to see what she looks like
>UHHH sure lemme put pants on
>I'm built, go to open the door in just adidas trackpants
>sagging for extra v-line effect
>open door
>this bitch looks like the love child of gary busey and roseanne
>born with an extra chromosome
>raised by wolves in a Russian whorehouse
>mfw I've been beating it to stuffed cheesy gordita for the better part of a month
Your worst fap?
Jacked to the sound of my best friends girlfriend shitting. Only to realize afterwards it was my friend in the bathroom....:
every fap is worst fap when on nofap
Not fapping leaves me feeling like a vampire that hasn't sucked some blood in a while, makes me horny and motivated
But when I fap I just end up feeling like a failure and my appetite goes down for a few days
I remember the load I blew though after two months of nofap ( Air Force BMT) it was huge by kinda yellowish, not exactly ideal
THAT MEANS YOURE GAY
oh boy
One time me and one of my friends accidentally jerked off in the same room at the same time.
We found out about a year later and laughed about it.
No homo bro
>be me
>move to denver
>buy edibles for the first time
>sitting at home
>massive boner
>no lotion to fap
>have a bottle of sunblock
>use the sunblock, but it isn't lotion based or anything
>doing the deed, sunblock isn't rubbing easily, wasted a boner kept fapping, showered in disgust
>be me
>depressed one time
>in the shower, start rubbing one out just on imagination, no porn
>neighbor is a hot milf with three kids, took 35 minutes to bust a load, stayed hard but it was hard to get off on just imagination
OP I think mine might top yours.
>be 2006
>horny 12 year old
>Get on runescape, pose as a 14 year old girl
>Cyber sex some 25 year old dude I'd known on there for a few weeks
>It's getting hot and I'm actually imagining getting reamed and sucking this dude off
>Cum for like 10 seconds straight
>Talk with him normally a bit after that
>Sign off, get ready to go to bed at like 3am
>Realize I just came from cybersexing a sweaty, greasy ass nerd on a browser game who probably hasn't seen a pussy since his birth
>Go to bed in shame with cum soaked underwear
I wish I could make this shit up
hahahahahahaha faggot
Well, you're gay now
ur mom
Are you gay or just "straight"
nice
Played a browser game when i was young with a very small tight-knit community.
>people in squad chat joking around
>someone mentions something about "jacking off"
>pretend to know what that was while bating people "how do you do it lol"
>everyone calls me dumb and says "dude you just jerk it lol good one"
>try it with my hand and it feels weird and strange
>grab a beanie baby and wrap it around my dick and stroke for like 10 seconds
>no orgasm like your first one
>procede to jack off 12 more times with random beanie babies.
Not even gonna bring up online relationships. Thought this player in the game was a girl for years turns out to be a boy lul.
My three roomates and I all jacked off in the same room purposefully to see who would cum first. None of us are gay
>pissed out of my head
>listening to some harsh femdom audio
>wanking over a recent picture of my childhood crush, who i haven't seen in ~7 years
>the love child of gary busey
b-bats?
>raised by wolves in a Russian whorehouse
fuck man I lold
>air force bmt
>nofap for 6 weeks
>only 2 weeks left
>the mind control breaks and i sneak into the bathroom when everyone is sleeping
>blow the biggest load of my life on the bathroom stall door
>shot at least 15 times thick as fuck with the force of 1000 suns
>starts dripping on the floor, paranoid that door guard saw it
>wipe up with tp and have the best sleep ever
Fuck it with the lights off man she lives right there
Its an easy nut and she probably used that as an excuse to knock on your door and meet you
>went on cross country road trip with sister
>two days cooped up in a car
>end up jacking it in the worst gas station bathroom
>in a public restroom
>start jacking it
>two people go into the stalls next to me
>still jacking it
>notice some shadows moving on the ground
>realize all three of us are jacking it
>mfw
Be in Army
Convoy is getting ready to move out, but I see a port-a-potty right next to where we were lined up.
Hold up the convoy for 20+ minutes as I wrangle out an orgasm, yanking desperately on my dick like trying to pull start lawnmower with an air leak, TA50 hiked up around my stomach, kevlar falling off my head, sweat and camo paint rolling down my face, crusty ass uniform, baking hot as hell in a rancid shit house.
Why? Because I'd been living in a humvee with two other guys for days on end, many days still to go. I saw my chance and I took it.
Terrible wank. Forgettable orgasm. Had to be done, though.
I fap like 2-3 times a day, usually in one setting. Its uncomfortable for me to do no faps as I am a pretty big cummer.
>22
>had plans with qt3.14
>knew it would lead to sex
>plan a no fap for the next 5 days, only a nightly edging until I fall asleep
>on day 4 plans fall through
>fuck
>decide to make an event of it
>hook computer up to 4k 65"
>edging for 3 hours
>finally decide to bust to the Brazzers vid with Nacho Videl and Nino double teaming some milf
>precumming like a fountain
>cock gets engorged, never looked bigger in my life
>here goes!
>living room door gets kicked open
>literally right as the first thick rope flies up into the air
>jump behind my recliner and cover up
>friend is laughing his ass off
>forgot he was coming over
>was in such a state of adrenaline fueled panic I did not even feel any of my orgasm after that first rope
>literally nut all over the floor and my hands
>have to awkwardly clean up my mess as my friend sits on the couch finishing my vid
Worst fap of my life hands down.