Mirin stories anyone?

aaayyy, a marylander

>not fucking her for those butter chicken gains

represent! born and raised here, but I hate crabs and anything old bay or crab related. Also hate heat and humidity with a burning passion. I have long hair and the shit just traps heat on my neck

Last week I went to get my dick measured and the nurse spent a little longer than normal 'getting it ready'
She was pretty hot too, I should have asked her out.

Maybe she's checking if your dick hangs lower than your balls.

literally everyone has been saying how much bigger i've gotten recently but none of them are real mires, they're just people i haven't seen since i was a skeleton going 'wow! you've really bulked up! what ahve you been doing?' to which i reply 'uhh just going to the gym lol'

...

Kekek

>be yesterday
>done with workout
>on my way home (walking)
>stop at a pedestrian crossing
>two girls next to me
>one of them notices me, keeps looking at me
>have music in my ear
>see she says something to her friend
>she looks at me
>get eye contact with her
>she smiles at me
>they keep looking at me until the traffic cone shows green

Was quite awkward, but still pretty neat

>Last week I went to get my dick measured
This is a thing?

Better not be a race traitor

Yeah, you can get it measured by professionals. They have all sorts of equipment for readings

You are an asshole. Not because the bj, but because you enjoy the pain from that fatass.

Scumbag bastard.

>Not fucking cute asians you meet on Tinder
BOI

i know a bitch named miran

>that silent not looking behaviour

gimmie a break Im a sociopath. In my mind I did nothing wrong, bitch made no mention of her bf. besides it's funny as fuck seeing the look in the eye of a former chad after he's gone flabby and his girl is all over me

>be me 6'3 dyel
>go on date
>go at the movie theater
>she touch my biceps and say i have some muscles
>she touch it more and say
>"user you're so warm are you sick? how is that possible you're so warm thats not normal"
>my body is always warm af even if i'm dyel
>feel good

>after a long time lifting and losing fat i finaly start to be happy with my progress
>take a nice picture with a good angle
>post on snapchat and later on facebook (no bully)
>get compliments in messages and likes and others reactions
>feel good

>send same picture on the evening to a girl i'm gonna meet in a week
>"not bad :p"
>a few houres later "i'm looking at that topless pciture you sent me a lot :)"
>talk, compliments, she mirin
>send another one
>more compliments
>conversation going in the sexual territory
>get half naked pictures the next evening
>feel good

i'm still dyel, but being 6'3 and ahving a decent face propably help.

apparently my smile and eyes are nice, always get compliments on them.

cant wait to spank that ass

and an old one

>gimmie a break Im a sociopath

diagnosed and all, fedora bro

how do they go about diagnosing you?

Not user, but it's a questionnaire and a life history. They're supposed to take 3-6 months to diagnose also but that's just a guideline.

>Be me, 21y/o 6'3 210lb 8%bf Chad
>near constant mires
>crossing road after gym at 1am Saturday morning- didn't go out because it was dead due to the weather, got high instead
>girl chases me down as I cross
>"Hey, sup?"
>Short conversation
>"We should catch up for a drink sometime"
>Takes my fb, leaves with two chodes

Never got anywhere with her, she ignored my message for some reason

>At shitty bar on boxing day
>place mostly dead
>friend dares me to talk to this cougar chick with huge fake tits
>instantly starts telling me how hot I am
>about 15 minutes into the conversation asks me if I'd like to go home with her
>tell her I live nearby and we can go to mine
>her friend is supposed to stay at her place but she tells the friend to go back to her own house
>friend is pissed, follows us and hurls abuse the whole walk
>get to the steps of my apartment and friend says "If you go up there with him, this is it!"
>She says ok
>Gives me a 30min massage, begs me to cum on her face then lets me assfuck her
>in the morning she hangs out with my roommate and couchsurfer as if nothing ever happened
>leaves, sends me a nude and asks if I have a girlfriend
>still not sure if I should reply

Tis the season. I've got a lot of stories from the last month or so I could dump if anyone is keen. Maybe even some OC pix

>work in a warehouse
>there's 1 girl there
>she's about 50 years old and Spanish
>everyone iis Spanish
>I turn to her and point to the only other white guy who's also a crackhead and say
> "Tom fumars crack and pollas"
>she laughs and places her hand on my stomach as she does
>we go back to work
Feelsgoodman

>walking down stairs
>girl looks at me

this.... i lol'd

I started a job as a patient sitter during the night and it's unusual for patients to have visitors that stay for very long after I show up.

I walk in and there are like 12 people visiting this one woman who had a stroke and all the women kept calling me nurse boytoy, and I found a piece of paper with a random phone number that said just that on it.

Bitches looked like they were on hard drugs and talked like it too, but hey at least I'm hot white trash

>be at an edm festival with childhood bro
>his gf brings a friend
>we all get drunk
>get pumped up with the music and go topless
>she wont stop groping my abs

>Party at my house
>I've got work in the morning, crash
>hear girls talking outside my room
>3rd floor away from party, people always do this
>complaining about no hot guys here
>open door, arm up on wall, tell then politely to piss off I have to sleep
>hear them as they walk downstairs
>"not bad though"
>"yeah where was he all night"

Dope. I didn't even lift

pix with the related stories please

>gimmie a break Im a sociopath.
Do you ever stop typing mid sentence and realize that you sound like an underage autistic faggot?

Yeah sure user

Apparently Im actually beginning to look like I lift.

I had a dude at work come up to me after I came back from lunch, and he asked me what I bench. And then we spent 15 minutes talking about how he could program his bench press for some gainz, because he's been stuck with the same 185-190 1 rep for a few months.

Not a mirin story, but still feelsgoodman.rar

Just happened yesterday

>thrift shopping with a bud after a solid back/ bi day
>find a polo and take it to the dressing room
>older lady worker like late 50's early 60's comes to open one
>goes to the big handicap one "here ill give you my deluxe suite"
>me: thanks i won't take too long
>her: oh don't you worry about it, take all the time you need *winks*
>kinda think it's a little weird but go in and try the shirt on
>go outside for a sec to ask my friend how it fits
>look around for a sec and make eye contact with him a few rows over right as worker lady comes up behind me
>hey ill help you, here turn around
>grabs my traps near my collar, runs her hands down my traps onto my lats acting like she's "fixing" the shirt
>her "yeah you look great in that"
>I'm wondering if that actually happened or i just imagined it
>change and head to the register with my buddy
>soon as we walk out we both start dying laughing
>bro she was all over you!
>that time I was sexually harassed by an old lady at the salvation army

> Be me
> Put penis into gf's vagina (unprotected, of course)
> she says "user, you feel so good..."
> y... you too

yeah
>first aid course for work
>go with some colleagues
>we are doing the bit where you put them from laying on their back into the recovery position
>colleague (single mother) starts giggling when I put her in the position
>"you are so strong user you can manhandle me anytime"
>I maintain a plain expression because nobody ever compliments me and I don't know how to take it
>I'm the unconscious person now
>she completely forgets what to do
>pretty much grabbing my lats and arms
>"user I can't do it right your muscles are too big!"
I'm not even big, 4pl8 DL and some pull ups but I spend most of my time running
>she keeps giggling
>I still have no idea what to do
>she tries getting me to go for lunch with her
>"user how can you have all those muscles and be so shy?"

I'm glad we work on different floors.

report sexual harassment. we must start the revolution user.

He had his time in hs

Why not go for lunch dude?

>two years ago, be me freshman in uni
>girl on our floor always loved chilling in my room, I lived in a triple with two other guys
>one night she was there chatting with us and I was changing to go shower
>got naked and was about to put my towel on
>she slaps my ass full force
>"omg user you have the nicest ass I've ever seen on a guy"
>th-thanks and go shower

what should I have done, fucked her in front of my room mates?

While looking them in the eyes to assert dominance, yes

yeah

>what should I have done, fucked her in front of my room mates?
Yes, to assert dominace make sure to finish while maintaining eye contact.
In reality you should have said something about seeing/spanking her ass sometime.

>Single mother
He already answered your question.

Did you undress in the living room?

He can still bang her.

Not sure if mire or girl being nice

>be me
>6'2, 220lbs, about 20% bf
>working job at sub place
>qt comes in for sub,female coworker helps her
>at cash register, coworker and qt start complimenting each other's hair and nails
>Being shy beta I am, don't say shit
>at the end,girl all of a sudden looks at me and nervously says "you look great too" and then quickly leaves before I can respond.

>gimmie a break Im a sociopath

i was fucking this girl once and afterwards i was lying face down naked on her bed, when she turned around the spat out her beer and said my ass was the best she'd ever seen then spend the entire night groping it (felt a little homo for some reason)

moral of the story, do your squats and deads

he said "tom smokes crack and dicks"

kek

this kind of shit is why im still here

>Don't lift
>skinnyfat
>tall with good frame and broad back/shoulders
>girls mire despite man tits , gut, and no muscles

Fels good. I'm starting to get fit now, I'm almost afraid of what will happen when I actually refine this body

>I have no ass
>literally flat
>girls still slap and grope it

I don't even know. Plz no jelly tho

>the only people who ever check you out are cougars

Its cause I dress like a fucking old ass. Fucking slacks and dress shoes

I took an online examination, can't remember the website. Highschool made me a twisted shell of what I once was

>dress shoes, slacks, and a cane

are you 15 and just watched Sherlock?

kek

>im a sociopath
dont do that

Can guys below 6'2 get mires to?

Mires from above, sure

6'1 is fine aswell

What about 5'10?

Pic related is cougar

>be me
>go to uni bar
>meet QT Swede
>all going well, lots of touching
>sees my phone background is Trump
>ohshit.jpg
>argue a little
>says Don is the next Hitler
>I say I'm a jew
>argue a lot
>end up saying "look, I don't judge people based on their political views, I judge them based on their actions. You're pretty young, maybe you're not mature enough to do that yet."
>a lot of tension, I leave after five minutes
>bump into her as she's leaving with her friends
>her friend is with my friend
>I invite everyone back to my apartment
>awkward car trip where they talk in Swedish
>get to my place and play never have I ever
>Swedish chicks are shit at it and want to use a phone app
>she's really pissing me off, just doing this for my bro
>start muttering about murder/suicide under my breath
>tell her I would prefer to kill myself than hear her talk anymore
>tell her she deserves to get hit by a car and if I had a steamroller I would pop her like a tube of toothpaste
>eventually decide to not be a dick
>go out to balcony and cuddle
>makeout
>hotnheavy.gif
>pull to my room after buddy pulls
>naked
>"if I do this you have to be good to me afterwards"
>fuck her raw
>she cums in less than two minutes and I completely lose control, empty my nut faster than ever before

Fucking Swedes man. Turned out she was a stripper. Easy 9/10 and best pussy I've ever been inside.

Also got pix.

move to china or forget mires being that height brah

Dogs look up to you, which is nice

See

im sorry

Boss would call me Clark Kent since I was filling out my chest real good. Feels good. No attention from ladies though...

>I hate crabs and anything old bay or crab related.
Hey, fuck you guy

I'm 5'10 also bro

Everything in maryland besides those things sucks

Yes pics.

My story:
>At a club
>Not really a big club guy but I'll dance if I'm drunk enough
>Girl out of nowhere, starts grinding me etc. Tells me I look like "a real man" and constantly feels my muscles
>She has this really soft long blonde hair, I'm mirin' it while burying my face to her neck from behind
>Kissing her neck, she's in to it
>I take a deep breath and accidentally inhale a chunk of her hair
>Choke and gag, the girl is horrified and leaves

I can't emphasize enough how odd this girl's hair was. I noticed it immediately but I didn't expect to have a near death experience because of it.

Those tits look bizarre

>squashing potatoes for Christmas dinner
>grandmother comes up to me and say "you're so strong user"

You forgot the part where it's pretty much a meme diagnosis because every psychiatrist has a different view of where the line is between asshole and APD.

Hey Veeky Forums

I need some advice,

>matched girl on tinder
>she's cool, asked me to hang out
>invited her to mine (literally only wanted to hang out, and maybe make out)
>turns out shes a slut and wants to fuck
>i really don't want to loose my virginity to a random
>still want to hang out

What excuse can I make to get out of fucking her but still keep her to hang out with?

tell her
either she accepts it or she doesn't
leading her on is a dick move

Fuck her. Virginity is not that big of a deal, and it's better if you do it with someone you don't care because if you fuck up it won't matter.

Give it to her and if you're not happy about it you can always take your virginity back from her.

kek

thanks guys

I'm just gonna tell her I'm not ready to fuck, if she thinks i'm wierd oh well

>be me
>6'1 185lbs
>bulking mode so always go to Chipotle after the gym
>usually see qt 3.14 there and she always seems shy
>minimal talk mostly and nothing more
>Walk in one day
>qt not there but female co-worker is
>she sees me and laughs
>co-worker calls qt name and says that "her favorite customer" is here
>couple minutes later qt 3.14 comes out and takes my order while blushing
>Take my wrap and leave

Should I have asked for her number?

>they keep looking at me until the traffic cone shows green
>until the traffic cone shows green
>the traffic cone shows green
Which moonrunes did you translate this from?

Do it next time

Hard to say. Getting a girl is great, but if the relationship sours, it'll be awkard to go there again.
But yeah, it was a perfect setup for asking for her number.

>not getting fit just so you can ignore girls advances to make them feel bad

you're doing it wrong

What the fuck?
If you don't want to lose your virginity why do you want to hangout with a slut?

>not getting fit so you can tell yourself that you ignore girls' advances to make them feel bad when you are actually just too autistic and scared to act on it

you're doing it wrong

at what stage of the mires/making it am I when girls awkwardly force eye contact everywhere I go but just look at me without smiling.
Example: qt at bus stop starts staring at me walking from about 25 meters away. I just look ahead and walk but I can feel her stare all the way until I'm close. I look her way once I'm close and end up making eye contact because she was still staring. no smile or nothing, just forced eye contact on her part.

This happens every time I get out of my cave to go to the gym. I don't think I like this.

They're preparing to rape your boypussy.