Martial arts?

What martial art should I start to learn Veeky Forums?
I'm aware of the argument behind "Just carry pepper spray/a knife/a glock but I'd like to learn a martial art not only for self defense but also physical conditioning. 6 foot and 170 pounds so neither a manlet nor lanklet if that helps, I don't particularly care as to whether or not the style has a philosophy behind it either.
Any advice?

Also, I hit 200 lb bench today pic related

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Touch_of_Death
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boxing

this
other martial arts are meme tier

How old are you?
If it's above the age of 12, you are too old to do a martial art.
Very relevant: youtube.com/watch?v=7t8xwpW8gJQ

How quickly can I go from being a cuck fighter to being able to drop your average jacked drunk guy? A group of friends and I were walking back to my house from a bar when a group of guys (NIGGERS) suckerpunched one of us. The friend managed to just take the punch and after some shoving and the less drunk niggers calmed him down and we went seperate ways... It basically got me thinking to how much worse it could've gone and I don't wanna feel that helpless/cucked again.
tl;dr how long till I'm not a bitch, assuming I progress at an average rate?

>Above the age of 12
>Posting on this board
Nice try mods xd
But nah not trying to turn into bruce lee or some shit just don't wanna feel useless if someone hits me first - basically insurance

look into KM or Systema

about 6 months, but you absolutely need to start sparring after around 3 months or you won't be able to fight for shit

aight thanks a load bro I'll look into it. In the middle of university rowing season right now so won't be starting anytime soon since I'm training 10 times a week (Rowing in NZ is a fairly big deal lol) but I'll get into it and check back in April in case anyones interested

been doing muaythai/boxing for about 2 years now

just like what says, the training you do is usually inapplicable in an actual fight unless you spar with a partner (its almost impossible to line up a proper punch, or to always keep your footing) i'd suggest working on your conditioning, taking a few sessions to learn the basics (difference between a hook and a straight, how to dodge efficiently, best guard positions etc), then moving on completely to full contact sparring

and tbqh, if you lift, you can already beat a drunk guy, they're not exactly bruce lee

Muay Thai boi. Monster athleticism + crippling kicks + literally rock hard abs.

akido for sure

Judo my man. The art martial in which lifting actually helps a lot

Nigga please

Rastling

krav maga
learn how to fight literally tooth and nail

No thanks I'd rather keep my joints and eyes when sparring

OP here, considering Muay Thai and whilst I'm aware getting knocked the fuck out takes place in most martial arts kinda worried about getting my head kicked off. That being said got those juicy legs from squatting diddlies and rowing already so maybe ahahaha

There is only one martial ART - Wu Shu with whole variety of its styles that are part of a whole. The rest are either poor imitation copycates like Karate, Takewon-do, Jiu Jistsu etc. or just a routines of few simple techniques.

Yeah lets pretend "martial art" that does not use elbows and knees is the "strongest" in real fight. Sure.

Qing-Gong lad

youtube.com/watch?v=Vd0LjSx-5BM

Qi Gung is not martial art on itself though its trainig is useful for some gimmics and incorporated in many martial arts.

If you want combat Qi Gung it`ll be Tai Chi - which is despite being practiced by elderly women mostly is actual martial art designed for combat and that was used by Chinese Imperial guard.

Or if want to go full meme then Dim Mak
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Touch_of_Death

muay thai
those elbows and knees are brutal

Fatass here 168 and 97kg. Whats the minimum level of cardio I should have before spending neetbux on a boxing gym?

For phisical conditioning

For endurance:
Jiu Jitsu

For speed, flexibility, acrobatics:
Wushu
Taekwon do

Other martial arts physical training is the same as not doing any martial art at all and can be done separately. If you want just to improve your condition and feel better, stronger - chose martial art incorporating acrobatic elements. You`ll not use them in combat much, but just being able to do this stuff feels amazing.

That said, much depends on your age. The younger is better. If you are too old, starting on art that requires good stretch and flexibility might be too late.

But essentially it boils down to what you`ll have most fun practicing and training. Just visit multiple training halls and lessons to see what and how they train and see what appeals to you.

MMA train some form of kickboxing or muy thai and some ground game like bjj. Traditional martial arts is a very slow way to learn to fight, if thats your goal

Sanda

youtube.com/watch?v=DYFy505Jebg

OP again,
At the moment I'm tied between boxing and Muay Thai (why not both xd). At the moment leaning towards Muay Thai because I feel like as a rower performing any martial art that doesn't use anything below the waist is (xddd) waistful since I'll be keeping unused muscle down there. Plus elbows are brutal as fuck. But hey it's gonna be at least 3 months till I get into anything so I've got plenty of time to consider.

Objective top tier is boxing/MT/BJJ/judo/rasslin

Everything else is trash or super obscure

Any answer other than boxing is meme tier weeaboo shit.

Since you aren't one of the very few who had perfect genetics for it AND trained from a child, you shouldn't worry about competing, so shouldn't worry about what systems are going to perfectly compliment each other and allow you to make another half naked man tap out in the octagon. Fuck all these MMA nerds thinking they are gonna win prizes.

If you want to get better conditioning and learn to defend yourself from any arsehole trying to ruin your day, boxing is the only answer.

>Boxing uses nothing below the waist

bjj for the cardio gains