Already ate my entire monthly calorie budget

I drank a carton of double cream with breakfast today

It's okay OP if you could handle 45000 kcals in a day you're probably setting your limit too low. I'll bet you could lose weight on a 6000 kcal diet. Try that instead.

My new years resolution was 1500 a day though

I don't care? The woman trying to be the world's fattest can still only consume 30,000 in a day.

There's no way, no possibility in any variation of any existing universe that you ate 45,000 kcal in one day.

just do some cardio. it should even out

You won't make it. Losing weight is about accumulating small, reasonable changes to your lifestyle that you can keep up with permanently.

I wasnt trying it just happened

I'll walk to circle k later

I dont like what you're saying.

NO, IT'S LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE

WHY AM I FALLING FOR THIS

THE FATTEST MAN IN THE WORLD COULD STILL ONLY EAT 22,000 A DAY

YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU CONSUMED TWICE WHAT A 812 LB MAN DOES?

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2140307/Keith-Martin-Horrifying-life-worlds-fattest-man.html

Not OP but
It's clearly a joke. Why are you this dense?

I wish it was impossible

Probably drugs.

I'll chew your fucking nuts off you piece of shit, don't play with me.

>mfw one of my suitemates eats peanut butter sandwiches
To top it off he eats white bread too

I'm not playing. I need help

I had like 3 earlier

Tell me everything you ate in a day to hit 45k calories and I'll help you.

Mostly because I need to know what you pull out of your ass from google to hit that number.

Alternatively, because of this fucking ruse cruise I hope you never make it.

I had 2 tubs of peanut butter and a quart of double cream for breakfast.
Half a bucket of chicken and a coke for dinner
I've been snacking on chocolate and drinking more cream all day

Alright, I'm going to ballpark this and fucking math your dick off.

Let's just take general items.

Jif Creamy Peanut Butter - serving size 32g, servings per container 35, calories 190

That's 6,650. x2 is 13,300.

Heavy whipping cream - service size 15ml, servings per container 32, calories 50. Fucking with that to make it a quart brings us to 3,153 calories for a grand total of 16,453.

So let's just assume 1 of each original recipe chicken from a KFC bucket, that's 860. I'll give you benefit of the doubt and put it at 1000 for a half bucket.

17,453. Assuming you're a fat tumblrite retard, I'll even give you a 2 liter bottle of coke.

18,293 kcal.

That's 26,707 kcal to put on in this time.

That's 8.5 quarts of heavy cream. Let's go half and half since you're full of SHIT.

So 4.25 quarts of heavy cream. That's 13,400.25

That's 13,306.75 kcal of chocolate. 1 hershey bar is 220 kcal.

That's 60.5 hershey bars to hit the 45,000 kcal mark.

Get the FUCK OUTTA HE'A

The tubs of peanut butter were the big ones from costco and it was double cream

>tfw just finished my yearly meal of 728000 calories
Thinking about jumping up to one giant meal every 10 years what do you guys think

KILL. YOURSELF.

I'm trying to improve my health so I can live longer

It's not working, you knocked back a month worth of food in a 16 (optimistically) hour period.

Try again next year, fatty.

How are you baiting so many retards OP?

>I'm trying to improve my health so I can live longer

>Eat an insane amount of food in one day.

>get upset when someone tells you to off yourself for being a fatty

Fucking do it op.

I only weigh 180 pounds man.

I'm not that fat I'm only 180 pounds

How tall?

I'm 5'8

You're a fucking liar.

I'll skin you ALIVE

You're a fat dyel manlet.

I'm trying to get better

Why would I lie about that?

You ate more than the world's fattest people.

Almost more than them combined.

You will NEVER make it. I can tell you that right now, definitively, forever.

It was an accident

No. An accident is trusting a woman who tells you she's on birth control.

Eating 45k calories is the furthest thing from an accident.

I'm a virgin though so I dont know this

I hope you perish.

Come on I didnt do anything

So? Eat 43k tomorrow, 42k the day after that... by the 31st you'll be at 14k, and then by around the second week of February you'll be down to 5-6k.

If you go over one day, return to the previous day's goal until you can move on. Your body will try to fucking kill you if you go from 45k to 1.5k overnight, you silly cunt. Give your stomach and endocrine system time to adjust, or they'll conspire against you to cuck you out of losing weight.

Drink a glass of olive oil and have three chickens for breakfast instead of that literal garbage. EAT YOUR PROTEINS FIRST, THEY TRIGGER SATIATION CUES. Then your fats. Carbs are LAST. You could binge on steamed & roasted vegetables literally the rest of the entire day and you'd still be under 45k, pal.

You can do this. I know you're stuck in a body that wants to stay fat. I know you're hopeless and weak. I know you're miserable, and everything seems out of your reach. But I'm telling you you can fucking do it.

You can do it.

Fuck giving up. Head to the grocer's tomorrow morning and buy only what you'll eat that day. Until 2018, don't keep food anywhere you could binge on it.

You can do this.

>95,000 calories in one day

you're a big guy.

Is this a forced meme, are niggas posting in a troll thread, or do you really keep cheating by eating whole tubs of pb then posting about it on 4chun? Kek

drinking olive oil just sounds nasty though

It's fun to pretend someone in the world does this.

I'm not pretending

>fapped 4 time this year
Whelp, there's always 2018

>I'll skin you ALIVE
That'd be hot

Fucking how?
Did you eat an entire pig?

...

im ir exact stats and dyel too liarface

nice going baiting that sperg though.

he unironically started doing math kek

> this thread

are you people fucking retarded

> mfw "I'll chew your fucking nuts off you piece of shit, don't play with me."

OP, just skip all meals until March, you can make it!

~4.5 kg of chocolate doesn't seem that hard

Try it. The first 5 bars are great. The next five bars, not so much. Then you look over and see 50 more bars of chocolate. Welcome to hell.

Serious questions, is peanut butter good for me if i am a skelly trying to get gainz? I buy the kind without any added sugar.

I'm avoiding them until february.

This is what i do... but i eat it with wheat bread
Also this

that theobromine pump? bruh.

srs heart gainz