This is going to sound edgy, but I always have alot of anger and hate in me, and I can't get rid of it.
I curse at myself and I have frequent nightmares, it's starting to wear me down, and I'm always tired.
It affecting my lifts, school and life in general. I'm sure many anons here have gone through similar things.
Help me bros, I don't know where else to turn.
Ouch. Oh sorry user i just cut myself on all that edge.
I have the same thing user. I've tried a lot of different ways of dealing with it. I've found the best things to deal with it are basically redirecting it into other areas of my life, like hobbies and work. I love the feeling of making people I hate compliment me and/or jealous of me. I also have learned to like provoking anger in me to get me motivated. I'll read obvious bait or stuff that will make me mad, then I'll go to the gym and lift as hard as I can or I'll start that homework I should've been doing. Try to find what works for you, and don't take life too seriously.
The only problem is that the cynical mindset this brings will affect your relationships. Try not to be too harsh of a critic of yourself or the people you care about, it doesn't help anybody.
If it ever gets too bad though, seek out professional help.
Start lifting to failure, go past the pain threshold, meditate, smoke pot
Are you sexually active?
hmmm
have you tried picking up some heavy objects, and then putting them back down again?
If this isn't pasta, it needs to be.
>I'll read obvious bait or stuff that will make me mad, then I'll go to the gym and lift as hard as I can
never thought of it this way, thanks man.
I do lift.
I tried meditating, but I always have a weird feeling like somebody with a razor blade is slowly opening my skin, so I stopped
I have a gf but I am never in the mood
Psychfag here. What are the things that make you angry? Is something happened in your life recently that has made you feel this way?
>What are the things that make you angry?
Everything, sometimes nothing at all.
I can be sitting somewhere, or walking, and then all of a sudden I get a rush of adrenaline that makes me want to scream and punch shit.
Obviously I don't do it, but I start swearing at myself unconsciously, and I have to concentrate to not do it.
I can't think of anything that has happened recently, but I've been like this since I was little, and it's gotten exponentially worse as I got older (23 now).
Try to focus and tell me what thoughts you have right before, during and after these anger feels and during which events/situations they occur mostly.
Before I usually am just doing something, like if I'm in class I'd be focusing on that
During, just alot of hate for myself, can't think of anything specific right now but it's just 'you fucking piece of shit you're worthless and weak' etc, sometimes but less frequently it'd be at other people, such as people I hate or friends I used to have etc
After, well I usually try to focus on what I was doing before, and eventually it goes away
I appreciate you taking the time for this, btw, thank you.
>you fucking piece of shit you're worthless and weak
sounds like an internalized critic to me. did someone used to tell you things like this? even if it was decades ago
Just sign up to martial arts or boxing.
>During, just alot of hate for myself, can't think of anything specific right now but it's just 'you fucking piece of shit you're worthless and weak' etc.
So you're saying you have feelings of guilt for yourself. Do you feel guilty for something often? Do you feel you're not meeting the expectations of someone in particular?
You also mention you feel hate for some people in your life, and that you used to have friends. Wanna say more on this?
not the psychfag but it's pretty obvious you are struggling with repressed feelings of inadequacy validated by some authority figure in your childhood (i.e. parent).
My parents only ever cared that I'd do well in school, and nothing was ever good enough for them. I'd tell them about something I though was cool that I'd accomplished, and at best they'd just tell me 'if only you put that much effort into studying'.
Funny enough, I don't give a shit about school. I'm do the work in University, but I could fail an exam and it wouldn't phase me much.
So I doubt that's related, because school is never in my thoughts.
That's about the only thing I can think of.
I did used to do boxing and Muay Thai, and even some Kung Fu, I quite enjoyed it but I had to quit because it was very expensive.
I'd like to go back into it some day.
Oh yes, I do feel guilty often. I don't know what about, but I have this very frequent feeling, like I stabbed someone in the back. No particular event comes to mind though, so I have no idea what this could be based on.
As for other people, well, I was picked on alot in school, I had had friends that would pick on me to get a pat on the back from other people.
The first ever girl who showed interest in me, I had a buddy who got jealous and sabotage the whole thing, I found out about it only years later, and then a similar thing happened with another girl and a different buddy. I used to have alot of resentment for these people, but I thought I got over it.
maybe, but like I said, only thing my parents cared about was school, and I don't really care about that much.
Right. So you're saying you are not personally motivated and passioned about what you're doing with your life.
I can tell you this for personal experience: you need to ask yourself seriously what you want from life. Spending your time doing things you don't wanna do is a sure path to unhappiness, long term, and you'll look back with resentment and regret. You're young, you can take control of where you wanna go, even if this means facing some difficult consequences and making some people in your life angry. You can distance yourself from people who are dragging you down, remember.
Thing is, I can't help you do this through Veeky Forums, and I think you need a real person who can help you deal with the anger and mature your own identity, and maybe making some life choice changes. The best advice I can give you is go to a real therapist if you can afford it. You have only something to gain. The younger you are, the more time and sorrow you will save.
Well, I'm very interested in what I'm doing, I just don't really care if I fail.
If I could do what I wanted I'd still be working minimum wage and spending it all on drugs and alcohol 5 days a week, but obviously that's not good.
There's no therapists in the small ton I live in, but if I ever save up some money I could go to a bigger city for one.
Thanks for your time, again, I really appreciate it.
You're welcome m8