Killed a raccoon with 1 punch bitch

so i was taking out the trash and this fucking raccoon jumps out hissin at me i cock my swole ass pimp hand back and punch it like myke tyronesein or some shit motherfucker was instantly dead

this is why i lift

Hell yeah bro keep up the good work

Burf. I have beat a raccoon in a trap repeatedly with a tire iron in the head. Took about thirty blows as hard as I could swing. Even with half its head missing it was still trying to attack me. Felt so bad that I almost cried after.

I thought I could hit it with one good blow and it would die. Turns out no and I didn't have a gun on me. Needless to say next time I brought 22 and it was quick and simple

>killing something 1/30th your size in 1 hit

wow, that's a big achievement, try and see if you can kill a newborn infant in 1 hit as well.

ty men

Obligatory.

Pretty sure raccoons weigh more than 5lbs

>t. never dealt with raccoons

Raccoons are notoriously hard to kill. They hate many things in life, but nothing tops their list as much as being killed. They will FUCKING his and charge with their 2 hind legs broken and no sight. They can be nasty fuckers if they want to.

Did you get checked for rabies?

Kek

you seem normal

Today in stories that never happened

Fuckers kept eating my corn for deer. Me and friend decided to trap them. Friend was busy so I went by myself. I assumed I could give it one good blast and it would be over short and sweet. No wrong and I had to do something can't leave animal in a trap

>my corn for deer.

the fuck are you doing feeding the deer?

It's legal here to set corn/feeders out for hunting

>baiting animals toward your property so you can shoot them in the head

you seem normal

You shoot them in the lungs, not the head

fucking raykins stealing my dope

Raccoons carry rabies without outside symptoms. If you've come in contact with one it'd probably be a good idea to seek treatment, since once symptoms show up you're dead.

Well aren't op and tireboy great people girls really love that too

Sometimes shit happens ya know? On minute your enjoying your day and the next thing you know your beating a raccoon to death in the woods with a tire iron.

maybe next time you should try and befriend him because they make amazing pets

> Never played a Cabella game

>i trapped and beat a dumb animal to death because it was eating food that i left in my yard for purposes of killing a different dumb animal

Kill yourself you fucking knuckle dragging nigger

Lmao so many people triggered in this thread, I love it!

Well looking back it wasn't the best thing to do. I was giving the raccoons to a guy at work who was selling the fur. I will probably never trap again

This

I used to know a guy whose job it was to go to peoples' houses or businesses and deal with an unwanted animal that had gotten inside. Think skunks in the basement, raccoon in the store, etc.

He would show up straight from work at odd hours when the rest of us were all stoned and tell us stories from his work. The weirdest shit was what he did to the animals after he took them away. IIRC he said there were like 6 legal ways to kill a wild animal in our state, and some were barbaric as fuck. His preferred method was putting the animal in a thick garbage bag and tying it to his truck's exhaust pipe and revving the engine until the animal died. It would thrash around and suffer quite a bit.

Anyways the retards ITT reminded me of this guy for some reason. He's probably a murderer by now.

Make sure you haven't caught coon AIDS or something you fucking brawler

Nothing wrong with a bit of hunting buggs

Hit harder or bring a hammer you fag. You should paralyze the animal with the first hit so it doesn't suffer.

Yeah dude I was pretty strong before I ever even lifted. When I was 13 there was this retarded squirrel walking around and it was letting the neighbor's dog chew on it and shit. I felt bad for it so I kicked it into a grocery bag and slammed it onto the concrete a few times. I know my he-man strength worked cuz it died and I only cried a little afterwards.

I once punched a fly so hard he straight-up passed out

I caught a raccoon trying to kill my chickens at like 3am one morning. I went out and shot it in the head, thought it was dead. Woke up next morning to it having seizures and walking around the coop.

I felt super fucking bad. but the moral of the story is that raccoons are fucking insanely hard to kill. Like, the first shot was right between the eyes. Don't know how that was fucking possible.

The tire iron was big as fuck and I was going babe Ruth on this nigga. First one cracked his head open. Figured one good wack. But no they are immortal and it only made it mad

Literally anyone can kill a squirrel. I'm a 5'4" woman and I've pity stomped one after hitting it with my bicycle. Did the same with a skunk (didn't spray when it died. Broke its back going >20mph then gave it a quick pity stomp). These are small little forest critters, the cheetos of the animal world.

This upcoming summer I'll probably add another name to my bikes bloody murder list.

I ran a possum over once

this thread is interesting

Your next goal shoud be body slamming a wolf.

I WANT TO CUMMIE INSIDE MUMMIE. I WANT MUMMIES MILKYS BABY WANT MILKIES TONGUE BUTTHOLE

Fuck you, bitch. Baiters are the drooling redneck retards that give hunters a bad name.

take it easy user

What is the 1/2/3/4 of punching animals?
1 punch a rabbit, 2 punch a toddler...?

They're right
You have rabies now
Been nice knowing you, OP

Strange just about everyone does it here sooooo

>this entire thread

the little guy probably just got knocked out based on the other stories anons posted

>Not Ms.painting him Punching a Racoon
Why even post?

>putting the animal in a thick garbage bag and tying it to his truck's exhaust pipe and revving the engine until the animal died. It would thrash around and suffer quite a bit.
that's actually an efficientand ethic way to kill animals you dumbshit stoner

3 punch lion, 4 punch elephant?

>He can't kill an elephant in 4 punches

>5lbs newborn

Never gonna make it.

Holy shit me too! But I think I actually karate choped it.

Exactly. I once had a mouse problem. Was catching them in glue traps. I felt bad for putting them in a bag in my dumpster to freeze to death. Idea. Mouse gas chamber for quick kills. I bought hunk of dry ice placed it in big Mason jar with water. Slowly slid mouse in the fog and loosely put lid on. He was done in about 5 seconds. Much more humane

A raccoon once jumped in front of me when I was trying to launch my nukes and instead of nuking America i nuked that fucker right in the mouth. Fucker then just stood up and ran away, I swear to god they keep getting harder to kill.