Pick up lines, post your best

>So what's your favourite original Star Trek episode, and why? [Inhale noisily with open mouth here, as if to dry saliva.]

Really? REALLY?

If you'd fall of a cloud you'd, you know, still be pretty. You know, even though your bones would be all broken and, you know. But you're so beautiful, that it's still ok.

>Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?

Fukin using that one. I love being a cocky asshole

a-a-a- archeology

>what?

y-you too

Hello! Sorry if this is weird, but I couldn't help but notice how sweet you look! I'm a really nice guy, and I love to show support for those who have less privilege than me! I even helped out at the women's march at D.C.! I was wondering if perhaps you would like to go to Starbucks some time, and maybe we could get to know each other a little better?

>Fuck me, daddy

I'm kind of random xDdd
>holds up spork

My heart is BoP, and you just rolled need.

(actually worked at blizzcon)

That made me gag.

>What has 72 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.

Check out these fours bby

Fuck

>can you translate for us?
its the text message equivalent of:

youtube.com/watch?v=FFGVbkJRJV4

Wanna go on an ate
>an ate?
Youll get the D later

>a-are you an achaeologist?

>"hi"
>not "hej"
>doyouevensweden.jpg

Boy, here we go:

>I am a very handsome young man, and strong and I love sex in all positions and I love to perform sex for long periods of time. Everyone that has had sex with me will testify that they have experienced something they had never seen before. I am going to take off all your clothes and walk my lips over every part I reveal, kissing every inch of your body and I'll carry you in my hands, and hold you close, and tuck you into bed and hold your breasts. I put each tit in my hands and kiss them, and I'll put each tit in my mouth and lick your nipples with my tongue. I'm waiting for you. Please respond.

Pretty much word for word, no additional autism injected. Sentence structure preserved from original.

Reminds me of >my mushroom very thick and I do big cums.

Also, if you can dox this fag and expose his family to this, you will probably hear about an honor killing within the week.

>Please respond

There is no way that this isn't unironic, right?

>hey it me yotoob celery 3k

Can't know for sure, but the way he wrote it, I'd say it wasn't ironic, no. He genuinely said: >plz respond!

...

>the name's Chad.

>Let's go to my place, my mom has already cleaned my room for us

yes, i also was a robot.

...

Yes I added you because you're a female gamer, 'tis an awesome thing to see! 2. I'm Brian. 3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen =D.

Kys

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It’s really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don’t know why it’s a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime it’s a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don’t worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasn’t flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i’m really shy I don’t go out much haha add me on skypre we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

how the hell does one guy provide 360 degree security?

He can turn and shoot 360 degrees you silly bitch

It needs to be more specific.

>Hey girl are you Sandy Hook?

Huh?

>Cause I wanna shoot some kids in you

...

>I like my coffee like I like my men... I don't like coffee.

Instant copypasta, holy shit my sides.

360 no scopes, that's how.

greetings from /sg/

decent dubs tho

he does a 360 degree and them moonwalk while shooting

I bet you like adele cause I can tell you wanna be rolling in the D

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

...

Nice tits bitch

gets funnier every time

fuckin died.
I may or may not keep talking to someone who said this to me

R u a beaver girl cause DAMN

ohh these are so painful

kekd

Obligatory