Moderately fit, attractive, 22, white

Your soul has been corrupted by the devil, user. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior and everything will be just fine.

OCD isn't all just wanting things arranged a certain way. It manifests in a lot of different ways.

>SHEER HEART ATTACK

hahahahaha how the fuck is psychopathy a real thing hahahaha nigga just listen to music like nigga just feel something

That voice in your head OP, that's the voice of GOD. Maybe you should listen to GOD.

plz dont meme me into prison

god dammit these dubs are ominous

...

Better to die in prison than never to have lived at all. Deus Vult!

What's going on in here? Whoops... I'm out

oh man

OP is an FBI agent. Join in on the LARP user.

you caught me. Shitposting from Langley actually. I's a CIA boy

>no plans whatsoever to ever act on this bullshit
Yeah, I hear you, OP. No plans whatsoever. Not you, oh no. Absolutely not "wink wink"

mhmm, sure you are, buddy

Look it up bitch my codename is dutchess

Yeah I would never put rats inside prostitute's vaginas and wait for the rats to eat their way out. I mean that's absolutely Psychotic, what kind of American would do such a thing.

my first guess was 「KILLER QUEEN 」

Yeah no it's nothing like that lmao.

It's more like I just want to like punish them for something? I don't know. It's a really weird feeling. It'll probably go away to be honest. I'm just not used to having such bizarre thoughts. I'm normally a nice boy.

Also check out this dope song. Just gonna get cozy in this thread and post music. It's so hard not being able to talk about what I'm going through with the people I'm close to. Even to just let it out on this South Korean Origami Porn website is nice.

youtube.com/watch?v=cANcbev6ZFc

「DEADLY DUTCHESS 」

guys how do I get blood stains out of silk sheets

tried taking them to a chinese dry cleaner but they don't speak english and just yell at me when I try to get them to actually clean the damn things

Well, certainly not you, that's for sure. That was some maniac that did those murders. Completely appalling. I bet it makes you sick to your stomach, much like that hooker when those rats ate their way out. Very tragic

haha that is actually my favorite movie. Or at least it was while I was drinking. The book was awful though.

>The book was awful though.
shit taste tbqh

>It's more like I just want to like punish them for something
Oh, yes. Luckily you never acted on this feeling. Even though they completely deserved it. I mean, it's not your fault those WHORES couldn't keep their mouth shut. But that would be completely sickening to even consider doing anything like that. Quite so

I read it because I liked the movie so much. Brent Easton Ellis is an absolutely horrible writer.

youtube.com/watch?v=iB7E1D_3Na4

>Brent Easton Ellis is an absolutely horrible writer
I bet you read genre fiction fag. I bet you don't even like Les Miserables.

to be honest I've just never really cared about stuff like that. I'm not like appalled by acts of violence really unless they're against like children or something.

lmao if you actually sat down and read Les Miserables then I applaud you

...

wow what a handsome young man :)

youtube.com/watch?v=WpWvlnMqLXc

>being appalled by anything
Nigga I saw a kid get runover and I was like "shit this is just like my animes".

I'm not that far gone. I don't particularly like gore desu.

nigga...

>I'm not like appalled by acts of violence really
I'm sure that would be a wonderful asset for a serial killer. That would definitely help you in committing and concealing all those horrible murders. No pesky morals to hold you down. Not that you'd know anything about that, of course. Still, consider what a great trait that would be for a psychotic killer in hiding. Purely hypothetical in your case, of course!

Violent people make horrible serial killers.
t. expert

...

plenty of women enjoy being violently dominated, maybe you can find a submissive women to explore these urges in a safe consensual relationship

am i gonna make it :^)

You write like a bitch

Yeah more violent serial killers seem to not be able to like stop or whatever. The BTK just stopped on a dime if I remember correctly

There is legit no help to get though. I'm pretty sure if I tell anyone in my actual life what I'm going through I'll end up somewhere shitty. I'll ask my sponsor (an AA thing) about it. He knows I struggled with weird shit like this before. He might have advice of some kind

youtube.com/watch?v=pirgE5ei8-c

OP in a nutshell
>I'm a totally normal person I only fantasize about killing women I'm not a violent person
>so what I raped and killed a few women, that doesn't change me, I'm not a violent person by nature it's just a fetish
>okay where do I bury body number 83, the cops are on my trail now and I'm having trouble hiding from them, there's nothing wrong with me
>your honor I plead innocent

>The BTK just stopped on a dime if I remember correctly
Did he stop nigga? Or did that nigga get so damn good they can't find the bodies no more?

really makes you think

That's what I was thinking. However, I also want to get some like help with it maybe with some sort of therapist or something. The last thing I want is for this to be something more than what I think it is and end up accidentally hurting someone I care about.

lmao I sure fucken hope not my guy. It's more like

>I can't stop having weird violent thoughts towards women
>I'm too much of a pussy to ever act on them
>How do I suppress them so I'm normal

bruh seek help. Psychologists cant say shit, they have a confidentiality agreement.

I feel you op. I get turned on by watching women cleaning the house, much better if they are dressed like whores

>You write like a bitch
Do you have autism? It's pretty clear I'm joking, you little bitch

>OP goes to a psychologist
>they dose him on MkULTRA
>they give him a gun and tell him to go rape and kill women
>"Yes my masters"
>BREAKING NEWS: White people are evil rapist murderers, more at eleven

Pretty sure he legit stopped. He got a wife and stuff. Maybe he just got better at his craft. Who knows.

See they don't though if they feel you're a threat to yourself or others

Yeah dude maybe I'm just going through a more amplified version of that

maybe I do. Any diagnosis helps

you have to say some form of "i am going to go hurt people right after i leave this session" for them to tattletale

more like

>be me
>be scared I'm psychopath
>go see psychologist
>he tells me I'm just a faggot
>live happily ever after
>still don't make it

Not in Canada or Australia.

>maybe I do. Any diagnosis helps
I definitely think you do. I have been writing pretty clearly sarcastic joke posts, and you took them all serious

huh. I'll look into it. If that's the case then yeah I'll just go talk to someone lmao

I can sense the sarcasm. I'm just trying to like respond only genuinely because I really only want to talk about this in a genuine way because it is a serious thing to me. Or I have autism. dunno

I don't think that's the case.

>am i gonna make it :^)

Maybe, just get a girl that's into weird shit and let me tell you most girls aren't as innocent as they make themselves out to be. My ex was into rape play and I never expected her to be into that shit when I first met her.

Yeah. I dated a girl while I was drinking that was into rape play. It was okay I guess.

shit countries then

Did she let you flagellate her?

Honestly anything was okay as long as I didn't bruise what couldn't be hidden with clothes. I used to cut her ass up really bad with razors when I put my wiener in her. She was not the most stable person but then again neither was I because of the drinking.

Sometimes i fap to the idea of cutting peoples heads off or raping people etc. It's a dark part of me but it's a part of me.

it's mainly because my brain is attracted to taboo when i fap. It doesn't matter what it is. I've fapped to pretty much every legal thing someone can fap too.

Luckily this is a rare mood that i'm in so most of the time i can just fap normal and then move on with my day

U should watch dexter

that show is so god damn gay and that guy is so god damn retarded it makes me bummed that's what people think of when i talk about this

Everyone has these thoughts they just lie about it bro.

you think so? That's what I am hoping. I'm hoping that I'm just not used to being sober and what I'm feeling is pretty normal. Maybe I'm just reaching peak alpha status. Maybe violence towards women is the one true way to become chad lmao

Can you pls watch it

I look forward to reading about your work in the news

Totally breh.

Consent is a spook, rape is a spook. It is completely normal to want to completely dominate every attractive woman you see and then kill her husband/bf. I mean the norse did it and they were pretty high test tbqh.

I can confirm that I do not have thoughts about murdering women, or people, or animals, or have violent thoughts at all

noooooooooooooooooo bitch

What year and month did you start having these thoughts?

You either a bitch ass low-t nigga or a woman, take your pick and suck a dick. NIGGA!

lmfao why though

das eet

You really should kill yourself op

I mean you're right but...... no?

>no plans whatsoever to ever act on this bullshit
In that case it should be safe to talk to a therapist. I'm not an expert in this area, but I used to be into the really violent guro, then went through a phase where I kind of jumped around between various weird fetishes, and ended up coming back to mostly vanilla stuff today. People tend to naturally mellow with age, but it seems like you're dealing with some issues that most people don't and therapy might help you sort through them in a positive way.

I can't quite put my finger on why, OP, but you really seem sort of stupid

>22
>recovering alcoholic

Move along chump

Yeah I'm just worried that the therapist will have me institutionalized. I just need to do more research on it I guess.

Dubs don't lie bro. I aint never said I was smart

I drank nonstop everyday for close to 4 years. It wasn't like I partied too much. I drank close to a gallon of the cheapest vodka I could get a day. I realize how silly it seems to say I'm an alcoholic so young but I am. Shit honestly sucks huge dicks

Youre just doing this for attention op. I see right through you. I read you like a book. All you need is love and friendship.

good thread keep going

i think most people have this taboo thoughts. killing violence, rape etc. with different intensities
some people act on it. some people don't . some fight it some embrace it

maybe op should channel this violent energy with art. or hard exhaustive work outs. sports. idk.

paint something nigga

Thanks man. Hopefully that is the case and I'm just like being a drama queen about something minor.

Yeah I do creative writing which helps a lot. Believe it or not I also do stand up comedy. Shit like that definitely helps. But yeah, it's really taboo and it's really uncomfortable to be in the position I am.

Why don't you go join the military or a three letter organization? You could act on your fantasy legally.

Not if you're a goy. Only jews get to mutilate white women, this is their right by birth.They are the chosen people.

I don't want to kill people man. I don't like these thoughts. Plus pretty sure pretty blonde women aren't exactly who America is at war against

I look pretty jewish :^)

>Jew Envy
You can become Jewish you know.
The majority of Jews are converts and not ethnic Jews.

if only AA had steps that would solve these sorts of problems. perhaps 4-7 and 11?

This was a part of my 5th step. It wasn't as bad at the time. Been meaning to talk to my sponsor about it. Just got to step 10 today. I pray errrrrry night for god to remove this from me. It does help, but not really. Maybe 11 will help.

kek

I'm actually a member of the tribe. Let me tell you something, it doesn't matter if you're an atheist or an orthodox jew, all that matters is you're either a goy or one of us. You can get your cock snipped up and say some magic words about some bullshit desert god but that won't make you a jew you delusional white boy.

ayy

I like how no one caught this

Fucking A for doing an honest and thorough 4th and 5th. Here was my experience with something I consider kinda similar.

I used to be into little girls. like as young as 10-11. fucking hated myself for it and contemplated suicide a lot, hence the reckless suicidal drinking to avoid that problem. finally told my sponsor on my 5th step, then begged God to take that from me and I can honestly tell you man I haven't thought about a girl like that in over a year. been sober little over 18 months.

so that was my experience and the program helped me get over that shit. but there are some things AAs will tell you you need to get outside help for. this might be one of them. perhaps God will remove this from you by putting a therapist in your life that helps you deal with it.

Yeah I was actually thinking about making that comparison. Having to just live with thoughts that you don't like is something pretty weird. What you're describing sounds very similar. Yeah I'm hoping that god will remove this from me when the time is right. I do plan on getting outside help though. I just want to make sure that I won't do anything erratic.

And yeah I decided to tell my sponsor. Figured fuck it. I did down play it a little, but at least he knows about it enough for me to come to him with this. I'm meeting with him on Sunday to read through 10-12 in the 12 and 12. I'll bring it up then. Sobriety is sooooo amazing though. This is literally the only hiccup I've had so far

lol I downplayed mine a little too, not that I ever acted on it, but definitely didn't go into the fullest detail about the thoughts.

Sobriety is amazing brah, I'm glad you're doing well. Keep doing what you're doing and this shit will pass. The fact that you are trying to get help for it shows you're a good guy and not a sociopath.

it's funny man we have a guy at my home group who just got a year, and we do this thing twice a year where we go into the woods and have an honesty meeting, but it's like heavy hitting shit. well last time, this guy gets up there and shares pretty much exactly what you're talking about. he fantasizes about murder, he's obsessed with serial killers, etc. that was 4 months ago and he's still sober, got a gf, got a new job, life's getting better. don't know if he still has those thoughts, but if he can make it so can you.