That duke whose servants carry him to the water fountain on a palanquin between sets

KEK

A+

Thank you, i needed that

>go to field to plow for crops
>see some fat son of a nobleman obviously doing "starting catholic choir boy"
>lightly walking and doing girl push-ups, eating some Asian bean stuff I haven't seen before
>costanza.engraving

...

...

>be son of blacksmith
>Father taught me how to forge fine armaments
>One day hammer curling
>Droppin the weight hard
>Guards come and tell me to stop making noise
>Ignore them and start slamming even harder after a while
>King himself shows up with his elite guards
>They lash my back hard for disobedience
>They also raped my sister

Why lift iron when all that matters is height, birthright and noble status?

>Sparring with my heavy claymore
>Wearing my heavypl8
> DYEJ faggot comes in wearing ring mail
>Niceprotection.tapestry
>Tries to use a broadsword
>Damages the blade-rack

I fucking hate mailets

I'm ded

LANCELOT eats SWEET ROLLS and bangs PRINCESSES while you spend all day toiling in the FIELDS

STATURE
COUNTENANCE
BUILD

This is all that matters.

Thanks brehs, my sides really needed the workout

Fortnightly reminder that THIS is what damsels truly want

Is this achievable natty?

Or do I need to cycle some pray/fast?

>Weak, little boys coming at be with their chainmails and leather armors
>Spending over 1000000 florins on a decorative sword when all that matters in life is strength
>I bet they don't even crush lmao4skulls
>mfw

>achievable natty

LAUGHTRE

ye thynken ye can achever that naturally?

yow moste seken ān alchemista for pociouns

les te ye haven the bodily virtu of an noble duc

boute I doute ye haven the VIRTU, NOBILITE, an BEWTY to evere maken hit liken SIR CEADDA

Stats:

Tavern bench press: 6 seated wenches
Deadbody lift: 2 Exhausted peasants

8/10 Black teeth display thy vast wealth

What potions dost thou suggest?

Thou art only declaring this because thou art a weak-mind'd faggot. A real sir achieves what that gent wanteth through pure the lady'r prayeth'rs and willpow'r. I'm rolling on the flo'r! enjoyeth thy poison, clotpole.
Picture did relate, t's me looking at thee with the disdain and d'rision thee des'rve.

Posteth Scriptum: thee'll wend to hell too, h'retic!

>TFW to intelligent to hoist

GIGGLED AUDIBLY

ARISTOCRATIC

Dude, have you ever read Knight of the Cart? Lancelot is a fucking badass.

>to

>hoisting iron at the metalwork
>fair damsel whom I had seen several fortnight prior at the tavern comments on my paladin-like display
>"Hast thou been hoisting long?" she giggles
>I spill my porridge
> "T-thou also, thanks"

>That patrician who only consumes 4 salt spoons of distilled spirits to his congius of beverage

...

Fuck that's good.

Rape is top tier fetish regardless of the antithetical normie culture disdain for it

...

Underrated

ATTEST: All ladies WORSHIP LARGE MOORISH FIDDLE. They will abandon you when they see a SARACEN and will IMMEDIATELY take his seed. So basically just GIVE UP.

>t. Khazar nobleman

Is that Wojack at the top of the tower?

>Backeth to my village for holiday
>Cousin(of breeding age) exclaimeth "Muscles" and feeleth my chest for 15-20 rings of lords bell tower
>Asks if I've been fighting for the land
>Flex sword "tho telleth me"
>"Oh My Lord, Thou Art Holy"
>Holds the handle of sword as we walk along the road with her friend later that day
>Touches my shield at dinner
>"solideth"

All these Danes started showing up to my gym all of a sudden. Will they go away for good if I pay them?

Noblemen get off my board you limp-wristed bastards

SERFS
E
R
F
S

Begone, filthy hebrew!

>That one curlknave who refuses all other types of hoists and reps duel greatswords

Wherefore must he garner the attention of all the maidens at the fayre, fellows? I've been hoisting for a great many fortnights and have garnered considerable working strength, yet that damned cur, Ser Chaddeth II pilfers all my chances at love.

Should I simply resign my hoisting career and attempt to become a damsel?

AGNES collects GRAIN for SER CHADDETH and his NOBLE MEALS while YE hoist IRON and get ye ARSE FUCKED by the king's men

Typical Christians. So worried about HOISTING and LOOKING NOBLE when they could've just been born with SUPERIOR ISLAMIC CULTURE

>Bigger Caliphates
>An extra prophet
>Can have younger wives and more of them
>Better music

How can Catholics even compete? Your wives go to bed NIGHTLY dreaming of BEDSWERVING!

>Crusaders BTFO

>hoisting around grain like a serf when SIR CHADSWORTH feasts on BOAR while IMPALING SARACEN

Rejoice at this FAITHLETS presence

Who brigand mode here?
>constant plunder from pillaging
>every day is full of adventure, how's the fields peasantcucks?
>wenches all day because of raping and rogue aesthetics
>does not submit to a lord like ser fagalot of house beta
Face it any nubile wench would ditch your ass in a heartbeat for a ottermode bridgand like me. Keep hoisting faggot.

>Martin Luther enters the Vatican and slaps the Popes ass
what do you do?

>tfw Ser Chaddsworth rides past the field I work every day with a different cutie on his horse
>tfw even fucking brigands are having more fun than me

How do I leave peasantmode, guys please help.

...

Do Marcus Ripetonius' Satus Fortitudo

Ser CHADSWORTH eats 14 course BANQUETS and makes the beast of two backs with MATILDA whilst THOU hoists grain sacks and monitor thine vegetable intake

>þæt fyrst sopa of se dæg

I

>order ale from qt wench
>enjoy your ale
>"thine also"

Jesuc Crhist

Who else here /nofood/? The baron said the manor needs all of our crops, eggs, and milk this year to make up for the last two years' famine. He said that if we can go a year without it'll make us a lot more pious.

>plow a field for 5 hours last sunrise
>wake up with serfdoms

how to relieve muscle soreness?

Ale and a good fucking

...

>Ðæt cnafa who wearþ his seax in þe presence of his cyning.

...

Haha was just about to write that one

>Chadwick is asking for that fair maid's hand in marriage in less than a fortnight

>hoisting for 4 seasons
>hit plateau
>poach quail and dove from the king's forest for lean bulk
>any risk is worth it to achieve /knightmode/
>arm chopped off for theft
>OHP immediately halved
>bulk is for nothing
>they already did the cutting
feelsbadman.tapestry

/alchemy/ general?
doth anyone else imbibe 3 flasks of oxblood weekly?

>working in Plantaganet Fitness
>doing my daily 1xF Cow Lifts
>Making steady progress, getting heavier day by day
>accidentally drop last rep
>Cow lets out a loud moo
>they sound the Lance Alarm and i am swiftly beheaded

suchislife.engraving

Gluttony disdain forum?

>Glutton in my vicinity
>Inquire as to why this glutton consumes to excess
>Glutton tells me he bears a witch inside him that forces him to grow large despite being with famine throughout the day
>Inquire as to how many servings of wheat he has in a given mourn
>He disregards my inquiry and proceeds to tell me how woeful it is to bear such a curse in a world where pure gentiles are free to live prosperously

When will the good lord purge these gluttonous folk?

>tfw dear old mother believes in ye old witch meme

nary a thing i can do to bring unto her, salvation, i fear

>be medicus novus, just finished apprenticeship
>tasked with attending to the health of Lord Boogie the 2,988th
>arrive at the manor, greeted by the lady of the house and her African manservant
>m'lord is quite rotund, scarcely capable of rising from his throne
>council that he should abstain from feasting, and to try to begin walking to mass upon rising each day
>this displeases his portliness greatly
>thrown into the oubliette for insubordination against the crown

Lord Boogie is truly too round to rule. I speaketh this now in confidence in my anonymity, I am securely behind seven speakers

KEK

Bumpeth

Rape is betacucks. Lmfao. Forced copulation is a breeding strategy for low ranking orangutans.

Mfw tapping barrel of mead
First sips
Hoist with great strength and vigor
Shot and carried venison all the way back to bandit camp
Only one who can read

>salutations user, have you been visiting the ironworks recently?
>I could tell all that hoisting has paid off, you look quite robust!
>so besides working out what else do you do?
>you... you do engage in leisures other than hoisting... right?

I AM FUCKING

DEAD

>visit monastery
>only allowed to do preacher curls

>visit the barn
>only allowed to do calf raises

>attempt around the worlds
>burned at the stake because the Earth is flat

While you spend your whole life farming and eating potatoes FREDERICK eats DUCK

>it's a medieval thread
>everybody speaks early modern English rather than middle English

How did you type that thorn
TELL ME

>Veeky Forums wants to be a peasant
Lmao, black people....

>it's medieval thread
>everybody speaks Early Modern English rather than Old English
depends on the context but yeah, Middle English is preferable to Early Modern English

>alt+0254

underrated

>they already did the cutting
fucking hell

DEPART FROM THIS REALM, SCHEMING HEBREW

LEST I COVER YOUR LANDS IN THE HOLY FIRES OF OUR LORD AND CONVERT YOUR DAUGHTERS INTO FINE CLEANING PRODUCTS AND CANDLE SHADES

BEGONE I SAY

Sir Rippletoe suggest unto me that i embark upon the quest known by many as "Starting Strength"

What say you? For I have heard by many a knight that such a program gives one the body of a satyr!

my fucking sides man

>dost emotion whenst thine fair maiden becomest kidnappethd

I just love Veeky Forums mixed with Veeky Forums threads

...

Brethren I need thou advice.
Currently in the holy lands, surrounded by heathens, Muslims and other enemies of Deus.
Overheard that we will attempt to take Jerusalem itself in the next month, will probably die in the fighting. Should I spend the next month:
Spreading my seed as much as possible with as many different women as can in order to continue my legacy- keep in mind there are no Christian women nearby- or get as much training in as I can- I have one son back home but he is of weak constitution.
What should I do?

>be me
>going for my first lmao3cart pull
>need to hype myself up
>start singing the Stabat Mater in my head
>I lift for her
>qt shepherdess walks by
>realise I've been mumbling gibberish out loud because I don't know Latin
>allofmygrain.illuminatedmanuscript
>failed pr attempt

Why do I have to be so autistic

N-nay...

Quite the dilemma.

Personally I'd train hard but....

Most should do a good bit of intense both I'd say.