Tricks for girls

What are some tricks you have so girls are more interested in you?
>convince girls my dick is way smaller than it really is
>go to fuck them
>plop out thicc salami
>they are super surprised and way into it
>pic very related, current gf, fuckkng her tomorrow after physical therapy.

n-no

you current gf doesn't know the size of your dick?

Judging from the way you both text, it's fair to assume you're both in elementary school.

We just started dating. I'm fucking her tomorrow though.

I never texted a girl.

I think it has to do with my face.

I'm hijacking the thread to ask for advice on that matter, because making a thread gets me a 2-day ban and I hate that shit.

What do I do to improve my appearance, boys?

Keep in mind I'm 22 in that picture. I believed the 'growing into your looks' meme.

It's for the M E M E I R O N Y

Get longer and well groomed hair, go on a bulk, and wear different clothes.
There isn't much I see wrong, but that's my advice

which is why you're fucking underage you dumb virgin

It's not your face
Don't stare like a serial killer
Don't make serial killer faces
Try being a normal person and leave Veeky Forums forever

First you gotta drink bleach to cleanse yourself of those shitty shitskin genes.

I'm not tho. Why are you so mad famalam?

DON'T TEST ME

its called the autism stare and you think its a joke but it's a real thing lmao.

get a haircut and some glasses.

better to look like a polished numale than an autismo

You do realize that, shit turns white when it gets old.

>yfw she plop out thicc salami

Holy FUCK m8
Stop being so obsessed about your face when one guy said you look like a lesbian dyke

Just fucking stop. some chicks may even be into the lesbian dyke look

You legit look like an alien wearing human skin.

>Never texted a girl
>22
I'm not the best looking or more social guy but this autismo makes me feel almost Chad

You look good dude
Step up your grooming and the way you dress
Workout, bulk and get some weight on you
Work on your social skills, there are plenty of advises online on working on your appearance and how you interact with people

Facial structure and skinny body and lack of fur suggests low testosterone levels

Also
>shitskin
there is no saving you

>What do I do to improve my appearance, boys?
sorry Elliot, nothing to fix, you're perfect. it's the women that are the problem.

Bulk and longer hair. You'll be fine

> doesnt fuck her and drop her the next day like the malaysian flight.
disappoint.

I usually do fuck girls and then drop them. But I really like her and haven't had a real gf for around a year, I'm also leaving for boot in four months and I want to have a nice and memorable time.
I already went through my fuckkng sloots phase.

underrated

You need to bulk up, I used to be a skinny 20% bodyfat like you but then I started deadlifting once per month and eating 6000 calories a day.

gf typing: my friends call him the monster now but he has to turn them down because he's already giving me dick twice a day, non-negotiable.

>gf
>just started dating
>Shes never seen my pepee
>shes my gf
>GUYS I HAVE GF

Either underaged or just a "nice guy". Either way fuck off.

I quit

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>play the mysterious and quiet card
>im actually just boring and have nothing interesting to say

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>good
No. Maybe not the worst, but certainly not good

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>tell girl I have a micro penis
>read 2:33 pm
>p-pls respond

>prostate slavery

U wot?

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W-what if my dick really is 3"?

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Lol why are you so buttmad buddy?
Be happy:^)

ur a skinny fag. lift
ur hair is boring. do something with it.
smile.
something is wrong with your jaw. are your teeth together?

Oh, also, you're brown. Sorry.

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what app?

>my dad was having a tantrum and knocking things over
Holy fuck I can't breathe

Also how attractive are you that they're still talking to you through this?

Tell them 1"
Be super serious about it tho.

You have strangely dead eyes. I would probably smile more and do meditation to relax and find your chill.

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with how women judge size and distance they really will think 3" is 1"

You should do the opposite and tell them you're hung like danny d

Hahahaha

You look like when they do that thing where they make a composite face of a bunch of different faces.

you look like the night stalker breh

>I am, we're giving him fruit snacks

What happened to the store?

when i started dating my ex she asked me out before we ever had sex and like 4 days after we did, kinda fucked up but she's probably been with 20-30 guys before 18 but i was the only one she did that so idek

Youre a handsome guy. Not even average, you're a handsome guy. Find a therapist to help you get out of your own head. You're too far behind in the game of social interaction and you just keep getting more and more lost. A therapist will help you with that. Will give you the correct and healthy perspective about yourself and others that you need in order to function. The last thing wrong with you is your face. I look like Ron Perlman's uglier brother and I married a runway model.

Your face looks fine, honestly it's above average.

You have a bit of acne scarring, get some products or cover it with a bit of foundation.

Your features are a bit feminine, try growing a beard to emphasize your masculinity.

But the real problem is that weird, creepy stare you have going on. Like there is an emptiness inside you. You need to work on animated your eyes. Even when you are not smiling, your EYES should be smiling. There should be a "light" in them. Does that make sense?

is this even english

Stop it im crying in the gym

I want to know too

I called my girlfriend a worthless cunt who was only good for sex and told her to get raped by a pack of niggers. Fuck you abby.

> all these replies to a deleted post.

What did I miss?

A U T I S M
U
T
I
S
M

Did you say to deserve to be blown before the Jacuzzi?

Mel gibsoned the fuck out of that spoiled, ungreatful rich kunt.

me 3

what app, fags

How the fuck was that autism, it was funny

Fellow low self-esteem user, let me share a secret of the universe with you - nobody has anything interesting to say.

Everyone else is just as boring as you consider yourself. I know it feels like it, but it's not narcissistic to talk about yourself. It's expected, and how you form social connections.

If you really feel like you have nothing at all to discuss, ask questions about them. Eventually they will say something you can relate to.