Random feels thread. Get it off your chest. Whatever bugs you. Get it out...

Your problem is that you're acting like her giving you her number is this big deal, it's not, it's what you do with the number that's the big deal. My advice would be to play it off casually and say something like "Hey, I'm a real idiot so I couldn't quite figure out what your number was, would you mind giving it to me again, maybe we can hang out and you can teach me how to read sometime?"

No one cares if you're not natty famalam. It's not like the natty police is gonna come at you.

(it's a big deal to me) but i get what you're saying, i'm sure it's probably nothing but me overthinking things. I'm sure it's just due to me still getting over not having much self-esteem for the past couple of years

>start lifting because I hit the weight limit I set for myself
>"whoa now that I think about it I'll totally be able to get girls once I'm in shape"
>only a year left of college
>tfw I'll remain DYEL until it's too late to even reap the benefits

I'm a fucking dyeleton NEET with no money and I OHP 20kg for 3x10 and the nearest gym is an hour away please kill me
as a side note I'm going to buy a rack from the tip for 40 dollarydoos, is stronglifts 5x5 any good for easy starter gains or is it a meme

I honestly just want to kill myself. I get up every single day and the only thing I look forward to is to sleep so Thanathos can show me mercy. The girl I was crushing has a boyfriend, it doesn't bother me anymore but I would love to feel anything more than rage and existential despair. I don't like the classes I'm seeing at med school and I'm growing more and more detached of people (which is good but it's not a good sign). I feel every single day I'm getting more stupid, which is the only thing I ever asked from God: knowledge.
At least the cut is somewhat progressing.

SL is good but work in iso and high rep

the biggest meme on this board is the assumption that you can only build strength OR size, not both. thats total nonsense. focus on strength but also do shit for size, too, if that makes sense. don't be afraid to look into bodyweight as well, i like doing it after or before workouts to warm up or lower intensity on rest days

I don't really know what you mean by size vs strength, but what isolations would you recommend? I've just been doing curls

>went for the kiss on date
>'no this is only our 2nd time meeting'
Probably gonna go out again with her but someone please tell me I didn't fuck up too badly

tell her to put out next time you meet or you'll really give her something to complain about

shows you like her, if it counts as a bad fuckup you didn't have a chance in the first place probably. Good luck senpai

>gf is breaking up with me
>shes been really distant and already told me she loves me but shes not in love with me anymore
>says shes trying to get the feeling back
>know its not gonna happen
>already have everything moved out of eachothers houses
>valentines day is coming up
>we have presents for eachother
>waiting for that day so we can give eachother gifts
>i will tell her its officially over after that cause i know the feelings not coming back
>really thought i was going to marry her
>how do you just fall out of love with someone youve been with for 2.5 years?

Why are people around so pathetic and lacking self respect?
On top of everything they lie. They lie about everything. They try to pull others down to their level instead of empowering them with good example.
I grown up in bad family(not terrible like child abuse and shit) but there was alcohollic father, mother working abroad for years to get us out of debts.
My brother worked since 16yo abroad and he spent all the money he got in 10 years on drugs and crashing shitty cars he managed to buy.

My sister got married with decent guy, got fat, now due to my own change that i started year ago she started losing weight, but shes extremely weak minded, cheats with food all the time.

Meanwhile im going to gym everytime, maybe ill make small difference in world by example. At least my sisters husband started working out with me lately, he lost a lot of weight and is gaining strength now.

I just want to cut loose from society

185cm/6 feet tall, 25yo. Lost a ton of weight and been lifting for a while. Suddenly girls are checking me out everywhere I go, fondling their hair like retards when seeing me and overall acting nervous around me. Got an enormous boost of confidence. I'm fucking making it!

Downloaded Snapchat and started chatting/snapping with girls in my city that are 16-25yo (16 is legal here). The conversations died after a few sentences, especially if I snapped my face. Last night I snapped my face to 4 or 5 girls and when I checked my phone at 1PM, all of them were opened but no reply from anyone. Nothing.

Deleted the app and my account.

Now I'm back to my pre-cut negative confidence levels. I went to the store to get *SIPS* this morning and while I was standing at the bus stop, a cute girl came there and when she saw me, she instantly looked down and started quickly fixing her hair with one hand. My thoughts? "She was scared and thought I might rape her."

It hurts so fucking bad that there are tons of guys that are pulling teenage girls from those apps and getting nudes from them but I can't even get a friendly answer from anyone - "Why do you want to know that? Why are you snapping me even though I advertise my SC on my Instagram page? [insert one word that is designed to convey the utter chore of chatting to a sub8]" Lowering my standards won't help either - I tested waters with a morbidly obese "girl" whose photos would get me banned for gore and I got the same response (read: "I don't want to say 'go fuck yourself' but could you please just go fuck yourself?")

Oh well, MGTOW was basically invented for ugly losers like me. There's a new Batman game and Red Dead Redemption 2 coming out this year so I'm golden.

>"just go Tinder, brah!"

Yeah, fuck you. That hit to my confidence would be so devastating that I would very likely commit sudoku and I don't really want to die, yet. I've been without sex for a few years already, I can go 60 more.

Women are checking you out in real life. Just hook up with them without using apps. It's ironic, but we autismos have better luck offline than online.

you can get stronger, much stronger, without looking all that big, aka having large muscles. so bodybuilder (big) versus powerlifter (strong). early programs like SS, SL and others emphasise compounds (more than one muscle), max weight and lower reps, which will build strength over size. the opposite is true for later programs - sub-max weight, higher reps, more iso. the dumb thing is that no one really tells you when you start that you don't need to get super strong before you start getting bigger, you can do it at the same time.

iso wise, just look around the CBTs and threads here or look up some fitness jewtuber.

She didnt look down because she was scared. She was legit into you retard. Except she was shy. Depends if she smiled / blushed there or just looked straight upset.

You are going to make it user

T. 24yo kissless virgin with ugly face

>Women are checking you out in real life

No, they aren't. I've just read too many PUA/TRP/bro guides on "how to know if a girl is interested?" and thought they were checking me out. They act nervous because I look scary and/or ugly, that's it. Should have known, really.

Nah, mate. It's downright impossible to go from "wow, that guy is so fucking hot/cute/sexy, I wish he talked to me" IRL to "ewww, don't talk to me or my bad boy lover's dog ever again, here's a snap of me kissing another dude in my bed, you disgusting loser" online. It just doesn't make any sense. The most logical conclusion is that I misinterpreted the signs to be of attraction when they really weren't.

>on a cut
>ate 3 slices of Costco pizza and drank a ton of Tennessee honey jack with my oneitis last night
>we've had sex in the past
>had a healthy dialogue about our relationship and where we are in our lives separately
>both agreed to take some time apart from hanging out so much
>gonna spend the time improving myself
why do I lift? For myself, obviously. But I think she has a lot to do with it...
Just had to say all this to somebody.

Look man. You are being overly influenced by the internet. You read PUA stuff first, thought women were interested in you, but recently mentioned MGTOW, and are now convinced no woman could ever be into you.

But you have had sex before. And now you look better. Not everyone will be into you, you will not be into everyone. And that's OK. But don't set yourself up for failure with a negative mentality.

Start university in seventeen days. Engineering. Don’t think I’ll make it. Mathematics was never my strong suit. Going to have to study four hours a night and still be behind.

I know that feel, it sucks being slow sometimes

Where are you starting bro? Congrats.
My little brother who moved in with me was the same. Never had great grades, but is pulling 80's so far after his first semester. It isn't even about doing that. Honestly, he just found people who were shy and quiet like him in class who didn't want to fail, and studies with them a few hours per week. Find people who also don't want to fail, make some random friends, and succeed.

I'll keep it short how it went with me, but I basically never had an above 70% in high school. Fast forward 8 years, and I did a double honours in history and philosophy, now in teachers college. Found out when I went to my grade I made the Dean's.

>tfw beginner at lifting
>tfw the girls and fags at the gym can lift more than me
>tfw i feel like im making no progress at all
>tfw not so sure im gonna make it

We're all gonna make it brah

I can pull lots of girls, I'm handsome, smart, funny (reasonably in all three). I have gotten with every girl I've ever gone for, but im just an anxious mess, I need to be going out with a girl for like 1 month and have sex 5+ times before I can even cum. I've done a lot of CogBehavT myself and I no longer get anxious about social situations but sex is still a big deal for me.

Also my squat is like 1/2 my diddly

dont worry freindo i was in the same position not too long ago, all gotta start somewhere

>I'd rather be a starving kid in africa

you fuckin tard

Yes, I've had sex before. But that was years ago when I was younger AKA not a balding, acne scarred stone face AKA infinitely better looking.

Yeah, I'm convinced that no woman could ever be into me. There are guys they want and there are guys they don't - I'm in that second box. And if lifting, low body fat, maximizing my style an being more sociable with people doesn't move me into the first box, then what fucking will? This Snapchat experiment showed me that nothing has really changed from my teenage years. Mostly I just get blanked by everyone but few girls go the extra mile to be more cruel with the "look at me and this guy kissing, we are going to fuck now and you aren't getting any, LOL kys" stuff.

Girls, intimacy, love, affection - that just wasn't meant for me and that's ok. There's plenty more to life and now that I know where I stand, I can stop stressing about it and cut off those aspirations. Not gonna go Supreme Gentleman either because a) I'm not delusional about my value and b) I've already had sex a few times.

mate tom cruise is 5 foot 6

all actors are short, apparently its something to do with a larger pool of actors to choose from, and keeping them in proportion with all the other actors

you may not slay puss like a 6 foot 2 guy but you can DEFINITELY act

Cheers, mate. I’ll look out for study groups to work with. Wasted high school; I’m not going to let myself waste uni. Wish me luck.

What a prude
Kiss on first date is pretty normal. Second is almost a given

>>be strongest I've ever been
>>do jumps, highbar squat, some Oly for explosiveness
>>play coed indoor soccer yesterday (first time in 4 yrs)
>>mediocre to poor performance
>>so much muscle built, athletic looking, and completely shit the bed when it came time to perform
>> was literally more athletic when I was 6'2 160lbs lanklet

And to top it off I aggravated patellar tendinitis, meaning at the very least I'll miss my squat workout tomorrow

Time to neck myself haha 8)

Does being fit compensates for being shit at social situations and having no personality?

No

I have spinal muscle atrophy.

I am forced into an electrical wheelchair.

I have nothing, inside of me or outside.

If you meet next time, it's ok, don't worry mate.

I can definitely relate to this (to a lesser extent).

I just need somebody kind to rely on when shit gets tough, being a man sucks sometimes

Good luck finding a woman who will stay with you after your show weakness.
You need a friend.

Don't read PUA, that shit is literal garbage, like telemarketers and those idiots who sell Jesus like a candy bar on Tv.

Also it is possible to go from aww cute to fucking disgusting. You just have to be hateful and hurt them mentally, that's all it takes (I've done it).

Post face if you think you are like an ugly monster, which I do not think to be honest.

You fail to see that women do not use logic in their interactions, trying to logically read them is equivalent to being stung by a bee and asking for more bees. Most women do not even care if you have some physical defects (I have a few pretty big ones, but still score).

get a bro bro

Among other things I'm fucking done being social, guys. Every time I go out with other people the only things I can think of are going home or getting a drink to deal with the interaction.

When I was in uni I did have some people who were into the same shit as me and we could talk shit for hours. Unfortunately I failed that, moved back to my home town and the only people I socialize with now are my moronic coworkers from my on-off season job shit or old friends with whom I apparently have nothing in common any more. I mean I like them, hell, they even tried to hook me up with someone and they seem to care enough to subtly try to get my out of my mess, but why should I even let them bother.

I'm just tempted to go cocoon mode, focusing only on lifting and my work in order to save up money and perhaps invest.

Essentially I'm 26 and feel like nothing seems to have worked out by now, while also beginning to realize it might be too late to sort out my life, which probably is a delusion brought forth from my twisted mindset.

>none of the things I used to love bring me joy any more
>get into a pretty exclusive uni in my country studying what I thought I loved
>start drinking a lot and drop out
>traveled and was as social as an autist like me can be for a few years
>lost touch with every friend I met from back then
>get a decent paying job out of nowhere
>coworkers apparently keep complaining about me to the boss, seemingly because i managed to get an easier and better paying position in a shorter time

And now I've become a bloody cliche rambling on a roman pottery plaza about my insignificant issues, while there are tons of other people with real problems.

retards with good work ethic make it further than the smart kids who can half ass it

t. STEM smart kid who has been half assing things

y-you mean like the bros on the 'ch0n?

Friday night, alone. You know the drill. New semester will be starting, seems like I will be leaving humanity behind... or perhaps the humanity will leave behind me. Being active (gym or cardio) everyday help at least a little bit. I tried to catch up with few people I used to know from previous semesters. They are either busy or dont respond at all. Today I met my past crush with her boyfriend. After all the unsuccessful attempts with girls I have nothing more than apathy now. Couple of times I got rejected (not too bad) or played and manipulated (much worse). I still have about 7 kg to cut and about 7-8% BF to lose. Maybe things will get better, maybe not. I will probably be at least quite busy this semester, so not too much time for self pity, but if in long term horizon nothing improves, I might just hang myself...

yeah but the thing is i feel like such a crybaby sometimes, and women are kinda crybabies

Thats exactly why they need a strong and stable man in their lives. Or at least one thats good at faking it

Dont believe me or think im just a frustrated virgin? Try it for yourself. Next time you get a gf, start talking to her about your feelings and depression and see how long that relashionship will last.

its never too late to pull your shit together
you just need something to look up to
a better apartment, a better car, a better lifestyle
thats what most normies look up to, single or not
you need to travel, pick a place you like and go have fun, remember that nobody knows you in those place and you could do whatever the fuck you want.

thanks for the advice, the best tips always come from unexpected places
have a good weekend broski

>Also it is possible to go from aww cute to fucking disgusting. You just have to be hateful and hurt them mentally

You didn't understand. The girls react to me chatting and snapping with them by ignoring me, by being irritated and/or by hurting me the best they can. Especially if they see how I look. It's literally impossible that I'm a 1/10 online but I could be even 4/10 in real life. So, it's one of these: either I'm good looking both online and offline OR I'm ugly both online and offline - which is more logical knowing what we know?

Just signed up at an expensive gym, and paid for a personal trainer to show me how to do the basic lifts. But then when I went there the first few times on my own the power racks and benches for bench press are already being used. Even after waiting a while, using machines instead and reading the news, they are still busy. So I couldn't do what I went there to do and went home. I don't have the patience to wait for half an hour every time I go just to be able to do my workout. Also, sudden extreme problems with sleep are ruining my last semester at university.

>Pursue girl for a while
>She keeps changing her mind and playing hard to get
>Decide to really stick with it because she's a qt and I have a gut feeling we'd be good for each other
>She hints at a possible relationship
>Finally feel like 2017 could be the year of gf
>Friend informs me that she is a turbo slut cheater who ruined two dudes' lives last year
>Don't know how to feel right now

I think I fell infatuated with the idea of having a gf rather than the girl herself. Still hurts the same though.

Yeah, that's what I've figured myself, but I can't seem to care for most things other people aim towards. A nice car? Never been into that. A big house? I don't like getting stuck in one place, which is coincidentally what has happened to me now.
At least not without sufficient financial freedom to come and go whenever I like. This is kind of why I've been looking into investments for a while, but even that seems too much of a stretch. If it does work out, it'll probably be decades from now when I'm in my 40s or 50s and the period of my life, where other people have fun and live, is already over.

As for the lifestyle change, I do like travelling and the years I spent abroad while in my early 20s were probably the best years of my life, but thinking of doing it again just seems unreasonable now. Eventually I'll have to come back or settle down somewhere anyway and I'd still be back in the same situation I'm in now, if not worse.

I am somewhat considering going back to uni, but then I'll have to start living off my savings, which probably wouldn't get me through it all anyway. If that doesn't work out again I'll be back to where I am now, only broke.

>tfw no worthy goal

Alright I'll try this out. I kinda think I know where this will lead (I'll complain about my habit of overeating and then get the "fuck this, I'm going to the gym" sensation and go to the gym).
So.. again you've gorged on food even though you know it causes you acne, which in turn makes your confidence plummet and causes you to feel physically shit overall, yet you did it. You know you can stop yourself while you do it but you don't listen. Just keep on eating and eating.. fuck dude, why. You've been doing so good... oh well, can't do much about it now other than trying to diminish the negative symptoms a bit by working out. Goddamn it...
BUT, despite this have you been doing better in life and it makes me glad (switching now to first-person apparently). You'v become more social, honest, focused, have a better diet (despite these occasional spouts of overeating), better sleep schedule, working harder, getting better reputation, girls starting to mire, facial features improving (yes, you'll probably get some acne from this binge but overall you've gotten more handsome and you'll get through the acne-sprout to come, don't worry and don't get too depressed about it).
I believe in you man. I honestly do. Or at least I believe in you more than before. FUUCK I'm getting the acne face-tingles right now. It begins...
But you'll get through it, you have fucking improved a lot and I believe you'll make it back in full. Just gotta make a greater effort not to fall so easily into binge eating. You know you do it mainly when you feel stressed out and even though you are more physically active and can eat more than before without getting acne you still have to be careful. Don't pig out, resist that urge. You've gotten better at it but when you let temptation take you into food zombie-mode you gotta TAKE FUCKING CONTROL BACK.
Are you hyped up enough now to get your ass to the gym? No, well fuck you then. Go to the gym.
Aight.

>hit it off with an user and started chatting on Kik
>have a lot in common but live far away
>been taking all day for weeks about all sorts of shit
>brightens my day
>played some vidya online and chatted
>haven't exchanged pics yet
>terrified of doing so because this connection feels so good but we may not be each other's types

I've got a crush on an user. How did this happen.

reading this made me very very angry as someone studying in STEM

I mean if that works for you, then go for it, but don't let the internet get you down.

If you though you were gonna marry her, just ask the question famalam. Bitches love that.

>don't let the internet get you down

How am I supposed not to? I can understand that IRL 7/10 guy might be a 5/10 on Tinder but I'm supposedly getting mired everywhere I go even though I'm 1/10 on social media? Doesn't add up. There's something wrong with the way I look and that's making girls nervous when they are near me. They keep glancing at me to make sure I stay where I am, that I haven't moved towards them.

To be honest, I understand them. If some ugly old woman approached me, I would be pretty rude, too. That's why I can't be bitter. It is what it is.

They smell your insecurities

Start fucking smiling, keep lifting and ignore the cunts, they need to come crawling to you.
If you arent worth it then they wont give a fuck.

And stop putting pussy on pedestal, there are better things to chase in life.

>They smell your insecurities

How do they smell my insecurities over text based chat?

>stop putting pussy on pedestal, there are better things to chase in life

I already said that I've done that and I've decided to go without women for the rest of my life (not like I really have a choice, though, LMAO)

I've been looking around long enough and I can kinda see what the world wants.
I just kinda wish it were me.
I'll keep focusing on my lifts but it's hard since I have trouble bringing myself to eat.
On a good day I eat twice but some days it's just oatmeal or nothing at all.

Take that manager with you

This.

You've got nothing to lose assuming you're gonna off yourself or be a little bitch. Have some self respect at least instead of taking it up the ass by some guy who's in a made up position that gets more green paper than you.

>I'd rather be a starving kid in Africa.

No you fucking don't you retard, you're just so caught up in 'your' world that you think this is the worst thing that's happened to anybody. You're like the college kids that want to kill themselves because they have a 2.3 GPA or some shit.

But to be fair, it is pretty fucking bad; it's fucking disgusting of your manager.

So it depends, user. It sounds like you care about your work and pride a lot. If that's so you should go for the inevitable hard route, the confrontation. In the end make sure your decision leaves you with no regrets to carry.

Dude if a manager fucked me as hard as it sounds he fucked you I'd let everybody in the company know he's a fucking fraud. You sound like you're a talented man with a passion, that's way more important than being a well-payed shmuck.

Pump n dump

Diagnosed Aspergers (though I have huge doubts about that). Had first gf a year a go, she was great, she left 5 months ago. Couldn't clearly tell me why (you know how wymmyn are. I thought it was a meme but they are actually confusing as fuck.) except some vague bullshit about me not loving myself or not loving her or not being invested enough in my own life. She wanted to be fwb because sex was great (no dicklet obv) but a few weeks later she said she felt guilty and left. I couldn't deal with them feels, especially since she told me several times we could be back together without telling me what she expected me to do. I asked her once and she literally almost cried and asked me why I was doing that.
Since then I've been depressed as fuark, which sucks because I felt like I was getting my life back together thanks to her. Now I can't even bring myself to think about uni stuff when I'm doing it. I was starting to think about working my ass off doing a Phd (or going to the ENS since I'm french) because I've always been pretty bright (maths). But now I'm barely passing and I hardly ever go. I only go to parties a few times a year when people seem to want me there. I have no close friends because I feel like they can tell I'm empty and they'd gain nothing by being my friend. I feel like no one would really give a shit if I were gone except maybe my parents and younger brother whom I actually don't really care much about, which is another awful thing. I started lifting 3 weeks ago but my squat is shite and I doubt it'll ever improve because my back is shite too. I also doubt I'll ever make it because (whenever I'm not lifting) I'm in bed. I eat every meal in bed in my dimly lit 220 square feet apartment.
And even if I make it, I don't think I'd look good at all. Plus I'm 5'11" which seems tall in France but apparently is manlet everywhere else.

(cont)
I also lift because I'm pretty vain and try to salvage my slightly above average looks (from what I'm told). I'm actually pretty/fit/ compared to the average person despite the fact that I do nothing all day except the 3 hours I now spend lifting. I try to reassure myself with a false sense of superiority because I have passable looks, high IQ, big dick, and I can be pretty funny/charming when I really try (thanks to the metric fuckton of TV series I spend every waking moment ingurgitating). The truth is I know I'm probably never going to ever truly dedicate myself to any of those things I'd have loved to master (learning another language, lifting, music...) and I'll probably kill myself in a few years. But I can't seek help among people because I'm not close to anyone and edgy teenagers have made a meme out of suicide. Sometimes I'm happy though. Like for a week or so. Or when I start doing something new. But then I just give up and everything comes back.
TL;DR: I browse Veeky Forums

Feels incoming
>Be 5'7 128lb male
>Have crippling body dysmorphia and Eating Disorder
>Spin my wheels for 8 months crash dieting and binge eating
>800 calories on restricting days
>5000+ on binge days. Easily gain 2 pounds of fat from a binge.
>High cortisol makes me bloat up and look pregnant every meal.
> Out of 800 calorie cheat days, 400 calories are protein. All i have is coffee, chicken and tuna sandwhiches, and protein shakes.
>Still at like 130 pounds but with less muscle because i have been on a 8 month failed cut.
> I am trying to bulk and go past the pain but i just want to be ottermode and loved.

What do I do bros?

I feel you bro.

I think people either downplay or just ignore the struggles of being a man.

No girlfriend for almost three years now. The freedom is wonderful, but the void is still there, nagging me from time to time. I wished it would just stop.

I still really love her.

>I'd rather be a starving kid in Africa.

>Waaaah im such a fucking white martyr

youtube.com/watch?v=HNnvX64ZGlI

this is how i feel everyday

>Tfw wasted 7 months lifting, haven't made nearly enough progress as I should have
God dammit

Well, you reek of insecurity from what you've typed on here so Is it any surprise that they can pick up on it too?

>If some ugly old woman approached me, I would be pretty rude, too.
Then you're a piece of shit. No excuse for poor manners, m8. Sort your attitude out and maybe you'll have better luck.

I got too drunk last Friday and said some stupid shit while trying to hit on a girl that i liked. I haven't seen her since and I'm afraid I ruined my chances.

I snooped and looked at my gf's journal, and yeah I know that's an invasion of privacy and all that but I don't know brehs, call it intuition but I had to know. We've been going out for almost 2 years (3 more days and it'll be 2 years) and we've been though a lot together. I probably have some kind of mental issues, maybe a combination of anxiety and an inferiority complex, but I haven't been officially diagnosed and I haven't seen a doctor or therapist about these issues. That's probably why I lift, to escape people (anxiety) and to get bigger so I don't see myself as such a huge piece of shit (inferiority complex).
Fuck brehs, anyway, I read her journal and I read some shit from a year and a half ago where she contemplated breaking up with me, and it hurt a little. Obviously she didn't, but she considered it. I've considered it too obviously but this was a situation where I felt we both worked to find a resolution together. Also, she doesn't exactly know I have these mental issues, but she's noticed the symptoms and consideres them a negative, even though she feels guilty for doing so. Forgot to mention, we've been long distance for the past 1.25 years. She says she loves me in her journal, but she also feels like I'm not driven enough or that she's too comfortable with me and she's on the path of least resistance by staying with me.
None of this helps my anxiety, but I'm feeling a lot of feels rn. I already know kind of what I need to do (study hard in uni and get good grades) but I don't feel very motivated these days. I feel like something is deeply wrong with me.

Constant anxiety for almost a year now. The existential type that cannot be halted by anything but blatant distraction. Accompanied by OCD, so anytime I sense that I'm not totally anxiety ridden, the thoughts that stir my ever present anxiety will return. Also I'm in love.

Wanted to be a pilot but can't because minor hearing impairment

Wanted to join the military but couldn't for the same reason, which is kind of fucked since I'm still completley eligible to be drafted.

Spent a couple years at a community college working to get an associates so I could go to a bigger school and go into Physics, but got fucked out of the degree due to a clerical error.

Working at a dead end job where I'm paid less than literally everyone else who works there, even the temps. That's despite the fact that I'm one of the top performers for the company and essentially act as a secondary supervisor because I know the systems better than anyone else on the floor. That's not to mention that I commute forty miles one way to get there and we're all getting laid off in April anyway.

Can't reasonably afford a gym membership. I could but shit is tight as fuck as it is right now.

I don't really want to kill myself, but to be honest I kind of want to die.

I guess I can't complain too much. I have a good family and god tier genetics for pretty much everything besides depression (which thankfully doesn't even phase me anymore because I had it super bad when I was a kid and I now I just deal with it) and the fact that pretty much every single male in my family history has died from catastrophic heart failure.

So yea, other than all that I'm doing just fine.

We're all gonna make it, r-right?

Seek professional help please.

That's it I'm getting a fucking girlfriend.
Now I know why I have been holding myself off, that was because I didn't see anyone interesting around me and gf'ing one of them would be just to cure my loneliness and not because I was genuinely interested.
But I can't take it anymore, so what if it will be meaningless, I want a hug and a kiss even from someone with the intellect and personality of cardboard

>I don't really want to kill myself, but to be honest I kind of want to die.
why do I relate with this so much

I too have a minor hearing impairment, and it's probably what causes me anxiety in social situations. (I'm )

Can you go back to uni? I'm currently in uni but not doing too well and i have 0 extracurriculars so i'm pretty much fucked

>be me, 20
>Go to new school since last september
>one of the few girls in my class (there are only a few because its a maths/tech field) sits next to me
>befriend her (#1, 27) and another girl (#2, 23) in class
>ff until now
>#2 has become a really good friend and someone I can talk to about almost anything
>#1 is now the best desk neighbour I've ever had, never known anyone I can work so well with
>help her with stuff at school (shes not the only one, my average is the highest in every subject in class besides physics where her average is 0.2 better than mine (scale 0-15 with 15 being best))
>start having feelings for #1 because she is incredibly cute, serious and funny at the same time, thats kind of special as I last liked a girl this much was like 8 years ago
>she doesn't have a bf and we have almost exactly the same interests
>she is sick for a few days and I dont't think I've ever missed anyone this much in my life
>out of the blue, she kinda starts ignoring me (not really ignoring, but beeing quiet towards me, not others though)
>have no idea what's wrong or if I did something wrong at any moment
>can't sleep anymore
>can't concentrate on anything or think clearly anymore
>can't think of anything other than her anymore
>feel fucking soulless

She lives relatively close to me and goes to the closest gym to me for several years now (I don't go there, but I'm thinking of switching there because of her)
I've always been a slightly shy guy (was pretty fat for almost my whole childhood before realizing it was enough and going to 200lbs (6'1) and starting to lift) so I'm still a bit insecure about my looks even though its are alright now.
I don't know if I should talk to #2 about it, I can trust her and she might know a bit more about how #1 feels since #1 and #2 are close to each other themselves.
I don't know what to do.

>I don't really want to kill myself, but to be honest I kind of want to die.

I know this feel

Pledging a top tier frat this year and working as "pledge queen," which basically means I'm head pledge.

It's like running a small business, but all my employees are incompetent and I can't fire any of them.

Balancing this shit with my academics, fitness, and trying to not be autistic is weighing on me

I'm fat again

Hey there, femanon here. Now I don't want to give you false hope, but to me, putting myself in the position of the girl, in which I have been quite a few times, I can tell you one way this could go.
Sometimes I like a guy, but I am too shy to do anything about it, and usually I am in love before I realize it when it happens so naturally by starting friendship first. then when time starts to pass and nothing happens, I start detaching myself from him and acting distant or aloof without realizing it because I'm undergoing the inner process of moving on. Getting quiet around him is a spot on sign that I am starting to reevaluate my feelings and perhaps downgrade my perception of the relationship as nothing more than friendship.
What I want you to know is that there might still be a chance to change her attitude towards her, if you actually talk to her about it. tell her that you value her friendship and that you are interested in more, but you needed some time to realize it, tell her you hope it is not too late, that you can go back to the natural state of things, and have more than that.
good luck user, I support you.

I've become numb to this over the past few years. I just go through the motions of life and I feel nothing anymore

This hits home so hard, brother. It's like you're in my head. My chin looks like a warzone because I've gone way overboard this week with food. Too much and the wrong kinds. I have a date to a cool event tonight and I don't even want to go because I look and feel like shit. However, I just poured a bowl of cereal into the trash. It's not even noon and I've eaten too much (including foods that mess up my face). I poured out that cereal and I'm going to get to work and I'm going to pick myself up yet again and eat like I should today and this weekend. Next week too. I keep missteping, but I've done well before and I can do it again. So can you. Life is so much- SO much fucking better when we're not in the grip of food. It's a head game. It's fucking hard, but keep practicing.

>studying something i dont want to, instead i want to become an actor

dude I know that feel so hard

>tfw want to be an actor so bad
>was picked on a bit for my interest in acting as a young'n
>never took it seriously for fear of being made fun of
>did some acting in highschool under the guise of "oh it's for drama class the teacher said I'd get extra marks if I did it lol"
>being involved in acting is one of the only things I remember that brings me real genuine enjoyment
>tfw it was also one of the only things I've been naturally good at

fuck man, I wish I wasn't so self conscious when I was younger. I wanted so bad to go to uni or college for dramatic arts but my friends were all going for business and shit like that so I followed. I had so many teachers and other drama students tell me I should pursue it but I was too much of a pussy faggot to go after it.

>tfw i'll never fulfill my only real goal and dream and it eats away at me every day

fuck me, man