Girl at the gym is constantly giving me looks, sometimes staring at me

hi

So you want to be a smartass, huh?

Reported so hard my reporting hand (right, fyi) gained a life of its own, clicking my mouse rapidly for 3 hours straight with such a tenacity it became clear arthiritis was the least of my worries, so clear was it that I could lose MY ENTIRE HAND to this bizarre possession. Suddenly my mouse smashed through my floor, pulling down my report hand as a hapless hostage. Smoke filled my bedroom and I woke up god knows how many hours later in a small village south of Aokigahara.

The people of this modest commune emerged slowly from their shacks, all of them viewing me with what I can
only describe as suspicion mixed with awe. Suddenly they began throwing spears into the air and running towards me. I SHAT BRICKS, but then they GRABBED ME and LUNGED ME INTO THE AIR, praising my name and kissing me. The chieftan came down later and over a feast-for-one explained I was to be crowned The Chosen One, the Kamisama of Reporting foretold in Nihonese folklore to appear in the year 2012. At this moment an old Japanese woman - she must've been 85 years old at least - began doing some kind of dance, spinning around in circles whilst singing "Sorairo Days" and throwing confetti into the air. I was DOWN with this state of affairs, let me tell you.


For 300 years I trained with the chieftan in his private dojo, reporting shitty threads, every day becoming quicker. At first I could report 10 threads per minute. After only 2 weeks I was up to 5 threads per second. After a century my KTPM (kuso thread per minute) rate rose to and stalled at 200 per second.

On the last day he graced our planet, my sensei bestowed one last task to me: the reporting of this thread, the shittest of all shit threads.

I did not respond with words. Rather, through our eyes he knew I would obey.

This one's for you, Otousan.

I guess when a little man like you thinks on saying something like that it sounds 'yuck', but when a big boy like me says it, with a smile on my face, it comes out nice and smooth.

Did you try staring back at her?

>"So what do you like to do Qt?"
Never do this, this shit is weird as fuck when you're talking to someone for the first time unless it's in context. If you're going to approach a random it's better to ask them on a date or something and then talk about hobbies and shit.

She's there to work out, and so are you, not have a full blown conversation while she's trying to do shit.

>gym crush likely has/d crush on me
>see gym crush at beer fest
>see her at gym the next day
>say 'hey, didn't I see you at the beet fest yesterday?'
>"yeah, I saw you too but you looked busy. Do you like beer"
>COMPLETELY FUMBLE ALL OVER MY WORDS, ask her for her name, give her mine, go back to working out
>never talk to her again
>we have the exact same gym schedule so I still see her 3-4x a week

This was 8 months ago. Whatever, I had and stoll have a gf while this was all going down. Maybe that's why I choked because I don't have the conscience to go thru with cheating

> SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT

>>she blows him off

You might still have a chance. Did she spit or swallow?

>stoll have a gf
what did he mean by this

>stole half a gf
Some guys just can't spell

is this the grey goose fag?

Lmao no, that just sounds autistic no matter how big you are. Really you'd want to approach with confidence, grab her by the ass and ride your tongue through the roof of her mouth then walk off and completely ignore her. This shows you're alpha and there's nothing she can do to stop you where you take it from here is up to you.

Anyone else astonished at the amount of people who fuss over women at the gym? Its creepy, bad for your workout and theirs.

People go to the gym to work out, not crave your cheezy cock.

Yeah I figured thats what he meant

kek

big mentally. big on happiness and balance little guy.

'Never do this..'

Do NOT ask someone what they like to do guys, do NOT. IT IS WEIRD. It's not the phrase that every body around the world uses to start a conversation with somebody they just met, it's WEIRD GUYS. REEEEEEE

>approaching any girls at the gym

There's a girl that constantly eyeing me but I would NEVER approach her. I'm always sweaty, out of breath, and tired af. I can barely talk well enough to ask some dude to spot me and explain to not touch the fucking bar. I fucking hate it when people I barely know walk up to me and try to start a conversation. Like shit, I'm out of breath and just trying to work out. I'll give you a head nod and be on my way. Just fucking talk to me when I go downtown or some shit. Leave me alone and let me listen to my dubstep

>2017 dubstep in the gym
wow is dead mau five still cool or something ?

youve never been inside a gym havent you

>cardiobunnies playing around with barbells
>they stop and watch while you squat deep enough to dip your ballsack into hell
>try not to make eye contact with them in the mirror

ree

>SKAAAAAAAAAAAANK

fucking kek

iktf bro

>all racks taken
>cute latina girl on one
>ask if I could work in and she says of course
>we exchange smiles as we swap off
>both of us are wearing our headphones
>at the end I tell her I'm done and "I hope you have a nice workout", she says "you too"
>see her later in the hour on the leg press
>want to talk to her
>some mexican dude, decked out in his little supreme clothes and a snapback, stops by to chat her up

well I guess you can't win em all user

>tfw always see qt blonde with 10/10 bod working out at night
>kinda has a butterface tho so maybe she doesn't get hit on much
>want to talk to her but way too autistic to try, and don't want to feel awkward every time I go to the gym

What do

there is this skinny girl at my gym which looks good enough for a fuck or a facial but she doesnt seem to have a lot of interest of talking back when I try to make small talk

should I just step aside or can I use something to trick her into my dick?

well you beat me bro, whenever there's a girl on a machine I want to use I just leave or pretend to be doing cardio until she's done cause im afraid to talk to them

try and time it so you guys both walk out at the same time (but don't make it obvious) then introduce yourself, and then after that you can talk to her anywhere in the gym without it being as awkward cause she knows u 2 some degree

Wew, that's really hard to do. I have no idea when she leaves the gym

ok then just fucking yolo it, who gives a shit if she says no, she is just asking to get pounded if she's fit with a butterface

>Hand her a bowl of eggs

Jesus fucking christ the cringe.

Do you base all your assumptions of the real world on anime and movies?

>ride your tongue through the roof of her mouth
Sounds painful, user.

>"been meaning to say hi but I'm kind of shy"
>"uh... Okay? I still have a few sets left sorry."

It's bad for your workout, yes you should be focusing on form and heartbeat etc, but after a while those rest periods get awfully boring.

That and with blood and I guess hormones pumping, dopamine and serotonin or whatever, you start getting horny and thinking you're hot shit.

Again, you should ACT on that, but hey, it makes sense to people with no common sense.

>Do you base all your assumptions of the real world on anime and movies?

No, sadly I was stripped of those delusions when my ki-blast failed to incapacitate a mugger who promptly stripped me of my clothing and valuables.

lol alright my dude. gotta open up

99% chance a girl will respond with something like this if you try to talk to them

oh shit meant *shouldn't*, I can't type today

audibly kek'd

Tbh I've learned the best way to make girls wet their panties over you is to do the subtle "dry my face off with my t-shirt" move to flash your abs. But you actually gotta have abs for this to work. I also notice I get random looks when I'm stretching/rolling out. Is it not normal for a dude to be able to touch his toes?

laughed audibly

I go to the gym until it closes and I still feel like a weirdo walking out at the same time as this girl that works out at the same time as me

Is me talking to a girl really that bad for her workout when she's squatting 50 lbs

Everyone knows you're drying your face to show your abs. You're not being subtle.

here you go you earned it

i'm crying lmao

Lol

>t. has never talked to a girl in the gym before

all you have to do is find a girl on a squat rack, ask her how many sets she has left, then ask if you can work in. Almost every time I've done this they've let me work in. Then just start a conversation from there if she doesn't have headphones or earbuds on.

'Hah, right...it's just that you stare at me when I'm doing my exercises, I thought I'd introduce myself.'

>t. has never talked to a girl in the gym before
that, or he's incredibly ugly