Look, I'll make you an offer. I'll give you a 7/10 gf, but in return, I want 60% of all your gains

...

Getting women to be attracted to me is not the issue,
it's keeping them when they realise I'm a beta autist.

fuck off Satan

> Would she like anime? If we don't have any common interests then it won't last so that can be a deal-breaker

>i think ive got an offer for you, user...
>ill give you your 7/10 at only 45% of your gains, but at every quarterly review you report to me and i cuck you with that gf

I'm going to have to go with Draymond!

Im impressed
If any of you faggots screen this to reddit your mother fucking dies.

jej

How about this, 6.5/10 gf and 35% of my gains

>6.5/10 gf
Why even bother

funny but samefag

>so youve got a 2/10 total valuation on your gains, but your a kissless virgin in your 20's. where are you getting your numbers?

>tfw you made the shark tank meme

Proud of myself desu

Here's my counteroffer

I'll give you 50% of my gains, You'll give me the 7/10 gf guaranteed faithful for life or the deal is off. She cheats and you reimburse me my gains or the financial equivalent based on total amount of gains taken.

In order to ensure you get a decent return of gains from this deal, I'll need a small loan of a million dollars in order to purchase home gym equipment and maximize the amount of time I could potentially be earning gains. This loan would be repaid in the form of 90% of my gains until the total dollar value is reached.

Lol, why is this always the case :(

shieet

I wasn't ready for so much truth-feels nigga

;_;

it was being fat - I knew I had no chance. now it hurts because I get chances everyday, sometimes twice a day and I still fuck it up... you can see their interest fade... ugh

it was EASIER being fat

uh yeah I made it like 2 years ago lol

What kind of greed is this?

Counteroffer?

What's to stop me from getting my son Trevor his own home gym and squashing you like the bug you are? There's nothing proprietary about your gains.

Leave

Ok here's the deal, I don't want any of your gains.

I'll give you your 7/10 gf, and what I want is a 5% roid-tly deal where on every gain you make, 5% of that gain goes directly to me forever.

The problem with your gains is that they're not proprietary. The big chads could come in here and crush you like the cuckroach you are, which is why you need me, and this deal.

Your son Trevor is a normie, he spends his time with friends and obstructs his gains. I do not have this problem.

Finally some sense. That sounds like a deal I'm willing to make.

>Look, don't listen to that noise over there. I'm going to offer you a 10/10 faithful gymbuddy bf, but you have to give me 5% of your total gains annually

I'll take it. Who is the gym buddy?

>roid-tly deal

Me

>tfw
Veeky Forums taught me how to look like a man, but nobody ever taught me how to act like one.

Sorry Kevin, I'd like to hear Lori's offer first.

Nice try faggot I made it back when it was Dragon's Den on the SA forums

Is it too late to go back on the deal?

Guys don't do it. Don't give away the gains. I'm trying to tell you something important here. I've got the girl and it isn't worth it. Keep the gains. KEEP THE GAINS.

k. 60% of 0 is 0.

...

No. I can get 7/10's easy.

Give me an 8.5/10 with unconditional love for life and we have a deal

I think your insertions would do great on QVC. But I want to act fast, I'll fund your steroids and amphetamines and give you a monthly sniff of my armpit in exchange for 50% of your gains.

Hmmm sounds decent enough, but I'd actually be willing to give up 60 if you'd sit on my face once a month.

I'm out

Tell ya what. I believe in your gains, bro. And I KNOW you're gonna make it. I'm gonna give you your 8/10 cardio bunny fbw but I'm gonna need 30% of your annual gains with a minimum growth of 10% per quarter for the first 3 years.

jej

60% of 0 is 0. I'll take the deal

The only people who find this stuff are people who unironically watch reality TV shows with their parents while still living under their roof at 25+

projecting. Shark tank is kino.

h-how did you know

Shark Tank is a neat program, It lets you see some innovations and get an idea of the margins on various products, that you'd never see otherwise.

>Here's the deal. You get a 8/10 gf and VIP tickets for a year for the Mavericks games in exchange of 2 inches of your height.

I asked for an 8/10 for 15% of my gains

user have you ever been to pre-1450 AD Scandanavia? Of course not, you're far too poor and skeltal to afford time travel. I, however, can max DL at 3000lbs thanks to my steady diet of Artisan Ostrich eggs and Lori's pussy, and I have met the Vikings of old. Interestingly enough they are all natty, and had gains the likes of which you couldn't imagine, and all from lifting logs and stones. I'm looking for those gains in you, and I'm thinking to myself this man doesn't look like he could lift a twig.

I'll offer you a 7/10 gf for 35% of your gains BUT she has terminal cancer and will die in three years. Final offer.

You're not here to make a deal, are you? You are already 3 years into lifting, so you will be lucky to get 4 pounds on this year. 15% means less than a pound for me; you expect me to go to work for that? You just want to show off your gains on national television and maybe use that momentum it to get a gf. Admit it.

easy choice. i'm a dyel so you can take that 60% but 60% of 0 is still 0

You'll be in debt tough because your gains will be on credit so you will have to make up for the lost 60% before even making any real gains first.

I'll give you a solid 4 who gives great blowjobs but she expects you to rub her size 12 feet in return and then you get unconditional love for life and a 25% premium on early gains. Offer is limited time only, make your decision user.

Will the gf be loyal and caring?

>not getting what the show is about
Beyond retarded
Stoplikingwhatidontlike.jpg

Jesus fucking kek!

Make her an 8/10, asian who lifts/yoga, kinky, and we have a deal.

Well, I have pretty much no gains, but I also have a gf, so I'll have to decline.

Duuuuuude

how in the world.. spot on. for me at least

what if i never plan on working out? does the offer still stand?

I don't even watch TV I just like to meme

Delet this!

And for that reason, I'm out

>Mavericks

Rockets or no deal. Your shitty team can kiss my ass

60% of 0 is 0
smug pepe.jpg

>There is a small island in the Himalayan Sea called Malderiki, upon which I own a large mansion. Every year afer the first rain, the Newport Beach Wine Society (of which I am a member) gathers at my mansion to watch the island's natives grovel in the mud as their pathetic straw dwellings are ripped apart by the rising waters. On this island there is also a fish, called a Piranha Giganticus. Coinciding with the first rain, this fish swims into the flooded island and begins to feed on the older and weaker natives of Malderiki. Unable to defend themselves from the killer fish and uttrly helpless, the natives make their way to my mansion in makeshift canoes. At this point, the Newport Beach Wine Society opens a bottle of pre-revolution French Chardonnay, dated no later than 1760, and places wagers on which native will be the first to reach the high ground of my sprawling lawn. Once the fish has fed and returned to the Sea, there are typically a handful of natives left on my lawn, at which point we activate the electric fence and release the crocodiles. Last year, during the crocodile feeding, a tiny speck of native flesh was flung from the lawn up to the balcony where the Newport Beach Wine Society was gathered and landed on my shoe. I retrieved the piece of flesh and placed it in my mouth, washing it down with a glass of Moldovan Pino Griggio. Right now, YOU are that piece of flesh."

nope

piranhas are not even that dangerous, they don't just attack things

Kevin O'Leary is Canada's future God Prince. Just watch the show and enjoy

theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/kevin-oleary-joins-race-for-conservative-leadership/article33653654/

>the Himalayan Sea

>Listen, I'm impressed with your gains so I'm going to give you until the end of this sentence to accept my offer and for that reason I'm out

>Listen, those other guys will lie to your face about your gains but I'll be straight with you.
>You're DELUSIONAL
>You'll never make those kinda gains with those genetics
>I'm still willing to do business though
>I'll give you a 4/10 loyal QT for 70% of your gains but ONLY if you cycle test and dbol

>4/10
>qt

Pick one.

Most girls in general are gains goblins. I only hang out with girls in the evening. That way you don't feel bad about having a meal with them because you pushed it later into the day after your work out and after only consuming shit like water, black coffee, chicken, vegetables, fruit. If you drink only have 2 but buy a third one and sip it. That way your never fucked up and you're in control. You'll seem like a genius at the bar and you can pull chicks without seen as a weird sober guy.

If the girl has a sweet tooth (this is the worst) than only eat sweets with them once a week during a cheat day. That way you still seem fun but you don't actually suffer the results of eating the garbage that girls do all the time.

If they try and get you to eat sweets more than once politely decline, never reveal your plans, your diet or you lifting power level. They don't understand, don't care and will assume you're insecure for bringing it up.

Also anyone can get a 7/10 gains goblin gf. Thats the ultimate goal of most of the population of okay looking girls.

Only at first. This is standard gf contract.

You can't allow girls to steal your gains. You're in charge. You're more important. Never fucking forget it.

bruh

Look, I'll make you an offer. I'll give you a 5/10 gf, but in return you get x3 the gains. You can also cut at x3 the rate if it's Winter or Spring.

Give me her and take my good arm in its entirety