Fat Cunt wants to lose weight

I'm a fat cunt, and I seriously want to lose weight. I'm 112 kg. What's the best way to lose fat?

Diet and exercise. Read the sticky. Cut out bread and chocolate.

Keto

lift weights eat less shit, eat more meat and vegetables.

ezpz

didnt read sticky. wont make it.

Sacrifice a virgin to Satan and drink her blood on a full moon

Seriously m8 youre obviously hoping for An answer you wont get

What this Guy says is the only way (bread/choc optional)

Eat meat, rice, and veggies. Lift weights

Consume less calories

That's the only way

Drink more water. Eat less.

DON'T LISTEN TO WHAT ANY OF THESE FAGGOTS ARE SAYING

If you had read the sticky OP you would know these things but I'm not going to berate you for being an insufferable faggot.

>You must EAT MORE than you normally do. This might seem counter-intuitive but you will injure yourself if you don't.

>Eat about 25g of protein every day plus 1 gram of fat and 1 gram of carbohydrates for every kilogram (NOT POUND YOU STUPID CUNTS) that you weigh. For example, if you weigh 200kgs, eat 200g of fat, 200g of carbs, and 25g of protein every day.

>PROTIP: A good way to get a lot of your fats and carbs is by drinking milk, hence everyone saying do GOMAD (gallon of milk a day). Yes, you'll get a lot of protein too but it's irrelevant. You'll piss out all the protein your body can't use.

>You must hit the gym every day of every week. Even if it's for 5 minutes on the treadmill, you've gotta do it. Dedication is the key here. It doesn't matter what you do in the gym as long as you're in there for at least 5 minutes a day. Don't bother lifting weights since you probably won't know what the fuck you're doing and you'll definitely injure yourself unless you get a professional coach. Besides, lifting is for tools and you don't want to end up like that moron who ended up in the hospital after his first day squatting just his bodyweight.

>Don't bother drinking water. Drink Monster (NOT the carb-free shit unless you like drinking literal piss) because it contains caffeine which helps you lose weight. Here's the big one: EAT ICE instead of drinking water for the rest of the day. It burns your fat by forcing you to maintain your internal body temperature (it's fucking science, dudes. The calorie is literally defined as the amount of energy it takes to raise the temperature of 1 gram of water by 1 degree celsius). If you eat a full fucking kilogram of ice you'll burn roughly 28,000 (!) calories just sitting there maintaining your body temperature.

More tips if you want em, just reply.

If you end your life, your concerns about your weight will probably go away.

How tall are you op? Like if you're 6ft it aint so terrible. I used to weigh 108 kg and i managed to loose 30 kg in a year no problem. Go on a diet on something like 1500 cal pr day and your good too go.

>You don't want to end up like that moron who ended up in the hospital after his first day squatting just his bodyweight.

wtf?
story?

>you'll piss out the protein you dont use

what the fugg... do people actually believe you can piss out calories?????

fucking retard

You piss out protein retard. If your body doesn't need it, it doesn't get digested. No, it doesn't hurt. You do it all the time. It's dissolved in water which is what gives piss its yellow color (kidneys turn hemoglobin (globule of multiple proteins) into smaller protein components which then dissolve in water).

...

>ed. The presence of protein in chyme actually causes the secretion of CCK, a hormone that slows down the intestinal contractions that move food along, thus giving the protein more time to be transported by amino acid transporters.

unlesss you have some type of medical condition very close to 100% of the protein you eat will be used

the human body isn't that fucking stupid

humanity would have died out 100 000 years ago if this 30g brotein max meme was even remotely true

>not realizing everything in his post was memescience
>replying to bait

isn't that the point of this board? answering memes with other memes?

no that's

You DO want to drink some water though, ice dehyrdates you (which is why you can't eat snow while hiking)

Suicide faggot

That's what the Monster is for, my dude. It contains a lot of water (over 99% of it is water).

You're a lazy fat fuck. That's why you're fat. You're fucking lazy.

There's a sticky that tells you exactly what you need to do. Exactly. But you were too lazy to read it and posted "I'm a lazy fat fuck who is too lazy to do any work for myself plz tell me what to do so I don't have to expend any effort"

No I won't help you. You're a lazy fat failure and you're going to die a lazy fat failure. Fuck you.