Gym is closed

Read the bible.

youtube.com/watch?v=zvsis67Ne4w

You could be waiting in line for a bar with a cover charge while simultaneously shitposting on fit like I am

>tfw on my first day at work at my friend's dad's company
>had to shit like vid related at least 8 times through the day because of food poisoning
wew, brings back some cringy memories fella
i had a good time working there and got some god tier unemployment money after they had to lay me off

Go hiking or ride a bike or go swimming or something active and fun.

Play video games

Get a second girlfriend who doesn't work weekends

bbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppffffffffttttt

Why are people telling OP to go hiking, biking and swimming when its night time? Lol

My advice would be get a membership at a 24/7 gym

Hiking is the shit user. do it. what the fuck is the point of all this muscle if one can't even walk the earth without gassing out. Anyone who can't hike >10 miles a day is missing out on a fundamental human experience.

Go mountain biking or skiing.

>wow subscription expired

i know that feel bro. been wondering wtf to do myself. i played pokemon go for like 2 hours today.. was okay i guess maybe ill do it again tomorrow

"Hey user, I am feeling pretty gassy tonight. Come on over with your mouth and start licking my asshole."

"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... oooh baby, yeah. Just like that and..."

*grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrwwwwwwwwwwwwwwllllll*

"Oh my stomach, user open your mouth."

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

"mmmmmmmm" *eyes roll back in ecstasy* "You're such a great man, user. Doing this all for me..."

"Uh oh, here comes another barrage. OPEN UP, QUICK!!!"

*BRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOP*
*MMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEERRRRREEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP*
*BLOOP BLOOP*

"UGH, The finally user, just for my luh... love"

*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP*

Taking the females down from their pedastal. Knowing that all the hot females can rip cheek flappers that could slap your face, what is your reason for working out now?

user, does this pudding have milk in it?

yes, why do you ask?

I'm lactose intolerant! I'll be emitting noxious fumes all night!

well...

Oh what! What time is it??

like 9pm. why?

Oh NO! The pharmacy's closed and I'm all out of my IBS medication! I hope i don't clog the toilet again! Say, you wouldn't mind helping to dispose of some of my waste would you?

uh...what do you mean?

Just eat it up! It's no big deal!

Um....well...

Oh thanks so much user! You're so sweet! And I don't know how much more punishment the old pipes in this house can take! Why don't you go put a towel down in the basement and I'll go take some laxatives and diarrhea propellant!

*5 minutes later*

OK user open wide! br-

*fade to darkness. end scene*

you guys make me fucking sick

reported

*HNNNNNNGGGG*
>slight turd protuberates from anus through leggings
*HHHHNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG*
>turd pushes against leggings, forming a slight but erotic tent
*HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG*
>turd pushes even further
>something has to give, it's either gonna be the turd or the leggings
*HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNGGGGG*
-Omg user, I think I'm having a type 2 on the Bristol scale, it's lumpy and sausage like. I feel slightly constipated but I think I can push it out through my leggings.
*takes big breath*
*HHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG*
>turd won't budge, the tensile strength of the leggings won't allow it to push any further
*HHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG*
>turd refuses to go any further
*exhales*
>turd painfully retracts into anus
-Omg user, it went back in. I think I'm gonna need your help to get this one out. Can you spot me :^)
*winks and farts*
>BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAP

>Girlfriend

Fucking normie.

Fishing
Hunting
Hiking
Camping
Target shooting
Archery

All cool shit I do that are great on my own and are enhanced by being fit.
Also great for mental stimulation and I find getting /out/ centres me as a form of meditation.

lmfao fit is the best board for memes I swear to god

>tfw never see risk threads on /pol/ anymore
>tfw biggest waste of time that I enjoyed is gone
feels bad

Hiking rules. I started learning about foraging in my area as well. Identifying plants, trees, mushrooms, etc. is pretty fun.

>not going on multi-day stimulant binges every weekend spending 48 hours compulsively redosing you stim of choice and then collapsing on your bed after having ingested enormous amounts of benzodiazepines

Having a gf that is a productive member of society makes you a cuck. That word has lost all meaning.

How does it feel to live in a constant state of paranoia whenever your girlfriend steps out of the house?

I would love to have a girlfriend that does this

Brother, may you spare me one?

Have you tried playing "Tail"?

I first developed this when I was bored in college.

Pick a random girl at a coffee shop or a bar.
Watch her from across the room.
If she leaves, get in your car and follow.
Stay behind from a safe distance.
If she heads home, then park and watch her.
The goal is to spot her in her bed and you win.
If she sees you "tailing" her at any point or if she talks to you, then you lose.

They're still there.

>shitpost on Veeky Forums
this
>play grand strategy games
THE ELECTRONIC ENTERTAINMENT JEW
>masturbate
THE SELF-PLEASURING JEW
>watch youtube people with wrong opinions to get angry at
this is actually a good idea, I'mma try that

you have fucking issues

Really? I'll have to check more often, the last time I checked a lot was back when the some fag janitor kept deleting them then I heard the threads moved to the Veeky Forums but I never saw any on there either.

Speedrun an old game. I'm no autismo and running Mario 64 is just super-fun and relaxing

Watch a movie

Go to a Museum

Find a nice quiet hotel bar

You guys probably walk around the park and call it a hike.

Hiking is interesting but it's not as fun as it sounds if you're actually doing long distance.

>Speedrun an old game
>I'm no autismo

Ahahah I know how it sounds but try it, it's actually fun

Is going for a walk in the woods for about an hour considered hiking? Because I go hiking then.

I go to state, national, and regional parks. Heading out to glacier this summer for a week as well. Hiking is fun and extremely rewarding.

>Not chaining your gf to the bed

Enjoy raising bastards, you idiots

What the fuck man

How do you have girlfriend if you have no friends?

t. actual cuckoldry fetishist

...

So I'm supposed to aspire to having a useless gf that just stays at home all day while I work? How is that any better? What prevents her from having Tyrone and Jamal over while I'm at work that doesn't function if she's at work? How retarded are you?

>so, user. whatever happened with that sexy coworker you were telling me about?
>flirted her brains out. her boyfriend has no idea. i'm going to flirt her once more and then stop before she gets all clingy and leaves her boyfriend. i'm not trying to settle down. there are too many bitches out there that i haven't flirted yet.

Clean your fucking sty of an apartment

this

Find a 24 hour gym faggot

Whoa

I feel you senpai

Fuck you I actually enjoy reading these now

BOOOOOM

Pls don't b real

I love this website

if you can't provide for her, so she needs to go out and "work", that makes you a cuck.
A woman is a far more productive member of society when birthing and raising children.

>being over 18
>being bored
>ever
Shameful

Renew your wow sub?

agreed, that was so epic !

?

I Think the Best Thing is to Go fishing. You are by yourself no faggots around you can relax and chill Maybe Take a nap or drinking some Beers. There Endless possibilitys personally i like to Draw in that Time and bring Home if im Lucky some Fish for the evening and a nice picture.
Also you choose different spots because always Drawing almost the same can be boring when you dont want to Draw all the small gimmicks

The way you did your capital letters made this difficult for me to read

Im sorry brah its my phone

*BBBRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP*

Those are all meme activities. Try again

kek

This is why Muslims keep their wives at home, and even then they still covered up.

Man they're always ahead of us, I'm just gonna become a Muslim.

Do some GPP. Bodyweight stuff, sprints, push a car, sled work, sandbag/keg shit, etc.

Do bodyweight shit

Go play billiards or poker

I think the way muslims control their women is great.
When women are free and they have jobs they get prone to be raped and/or cheat on you. Women should not even walk alone in the street. Instead when they are kept at home they are safe and you can feel secure as well that nothing bad will happen to her. Everybody wins.

Yeah hiking is top tier, bring a small pack with snacks, water, a book, etc. you can run if you decide to, read, just walk around, it's beautiful. And in nearly every state you can find state parks, or if you are lucky national parks, seashores, etc. you can get into bush crafting for the hell of it, bouldering, fishing, biking, there are so many hobbies that require being outside.

If you don't have $15 to renew a videogame subscription when you want you need to seriously reevaluate how you manage your money. No grown man should be without $15 simple spending money unless you just went through a serious unexpected financial hardship.

>being such a beta you need to oppress the freedoms of women instead of either moving on or being good enough to never have her leave/cheat on you

I fucking lmao'd
Keep these up user

>be funny
>not a manlet
>at least 4-5/10 face
>white
>not morbidly obese
>exude confidence in everything you say, then 90% of the time you can say whatever you want
>"don't meet women at bars and clubs unless you want to get women who go to bars and clubs"
>shave/maintain facial hair (get rid of acne)
>have fashion sense
>have common sense
>being yourself is important, but no one explains why: 1) you'll have someone fall in love with your lie, not you. 2) you will fuck up that lie/they will find out
>don't smell like literal shit. either nothing or a bit of cologne. the smell should be a small hint of something, not overwhelming
>actually put forth the effort to talk to women
>not everyone will be into you
>DO NOT use pick-up lines
>dates are expensive, especially if you're a neet: have money. HOWEVER, don't buy her a shitload of stuff, or much of anything, especially if she didn't ask for anything
>don't text more than once when not in sequence until she texts back
>you should generally be smiling
That worked for me, anyway.

...

>>be funny
>worked for me

don't delude yourself

the fuck is wrong with you

What's the big deal?

thanks for the boner

>best fetish ever

This. Slaying Yokais as William-sama.

Are you upset because you're not funny?

Nothing wrong with that. Actually done that and it's fun

double katana masterrace

>wanting to willingly be the another story and statistic in the next "Missing 411" book.

>Gym closed
>On a weekend.

Brah, dump them.

I don't know why we are against Islam. It's the truest Red Pill to end all degeneracy.

Refugees welcome.

>Islam
>Not raping little boys

You can only pick one.