I am FUCKED

I am FUCKED

The Army changed my basic training date to very soon and I am not fit enough at all to go....

Seriously I can't run 1 mile

What the fuck can I do?

I've been looking up PED's to help me get fitter fast

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army.mod.uk/documents/general/ADSC_Fitness_Selection_Standards.pdf
twitter.com/AnonBabble

start runnin boi...or i will FUCK YOU like a PIG

RUN RUN FATBOY

There's NO POINT

OT ENOUGH FUCKING TIME

are there any steroids that will supercharge my cardio???

The entire point of basic training is to get you moderately fit. Unless you're a megafatty, people will be in equally bad shape.
Training for basic training is like the fucks who start reading the books for their 101 intro class 6 months in advance to look smug on the first day.

>can't run a single mile
>enlists in the Army
You done fucked up, should have been training well before you signed your name on that dotted line.

But seriously, not a single mile? Even when I was a fatbody shitbird I could push out a mile.

> being fit will give you an easy ride

Haha good fucking luck user. PTs are going to fuck you over no matter what your ability. It's all about maximum effort.

The best thing you can do is not be the most useless fucker there. Nobody wants to be last.

Assuming you're UK. The best army going.

You can't run a mile? What the fuck did you sign up to the army for?

On the plus side, it'll take you less than a week of training to run a mile

How can I train?

Run

Better start swimming to build cardio endurance without destroying your shins by fat running.

Start running. Follow a 5k program. Buy running shoes that have been fitted well, along with proper socks.

PEDs are not going to help you.

The army will teach you. You have ten weeks of shitty training regimen to meet the standard. You'll be fine faggot.

MOS?

>implying you ain't a POG

I have until April 10th before training

Even if you fail your pt test's in basic you won't get kicked out. You'll just go to fat camp after until you can pass your shit

How long do you have? AND YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN TRAINING WHEN YOU WERE IN DEP... This is what i have been doing and im joining the navy i run 3 miles 3 times a day. i do 100 sit ups and push ups and 50 squats takes me less then 10 minutes do those what excuse did you have to not do shit anyway you fail your first test you have two more later on in boot camp

Oh, start running then.

MOS. I think it's 88M.

Month and a half almost dude just got run or walk 5 miles a day. Even if you have to walk do it. You'll be fine.

...

>army
>worried about the level of physical difficulty in bootcamp
Jesus christ, as long as you're a pog you can be a fat slow stinky piece of shit like the rest of them.

You realize the whole point of Basic is to get you prepared, right? Fatter, slower, lazier fucks than you have made it through.

Sprints and then walking for 30 seconds for 3 times a day for an hour until you can run a mile and a half in under 12 minutes but you should be able to under 10

I mean they'll make you run unless you're disabled by the end there is no reason you shouldn't pass by the end of basic. And chances are you're a fucking pog so it doesnt really matter anyway

don't even think about doing that.

PED's aren't your problem. Your problem is discipline.

Starting today you need to do the following:
walk/jog several miles every day. Try to do atleast 2 long hikes/walks each week (5-10 miles)
pushups every day
pullups every day.
planks every day.

l-citrulline malate is a good supplement for endurance, but it will hardly do the work for you. You need to get some discipline yesterday unless you want to have a really bad time.

he can't be uk, he'd have failed adsc if he can't even run a mile

PRIVATE PILE YOU BEST UNFUCK YOURSELF OR I WILL DEFINITELY FUCK YOU UP

I am UK...

I passed a selection a few months ago but I've done barely no running since then

You shouldn't have joined

wow so you'll probably be completely fine then

a month is more than enough time to reach your old standard of fitness. what was your run time?

....12 minutes

don't laugh

i'm going for signals

12 minutes for 3k is decent, dw

>12 minutes

12mins is fine for Signals, you won't be the only fatty at Pirbright

I'm joining signals as well, thought intake was may/september?

when did you do selection? I might have seen you there mate

December

I'm doing Communication systems engineer

Should I just do interval training

>worrying about army basic

LOL you can't be fucking serious. You can still drop, you fucking pussy

Yes do it all, interval, fartlek, distance. Just run like 3 times a week. They won't test your upper body ability much in Pirbright/phase1 but you will be running a lot. If you do go Pirbright, there tends to be a lot less Signals joining compared to other regiments, so you'll most likely be in a mixed troop with other regimental recruits. RLC, REME, etc. All of them have the same fitness requirements and you'll see a lot of fatties going RLC so you won't be the worst.....

Are you sure? I was among the last people at selection with 12 minutes

yes positive, I'm ex REME i went to Pirbright.

army.mod.uk/documents/general/ADSC_Fitness_Selection_Standards.pdf

14mins is the cutoff time, there will always be others around the 12min mark. Unless you're very unlucky. There will be a few of you at the back.

Just don't be a mong with everything else and you'll be fine, if you're shit at everything and the last man in the runs, then RIP.

On my selection there was a guy joining the RE who ran it in 8:15

bastard

What barb score did you get?

I can't honestly remember this was like 10 years ago, but quite high considering i was REME. You won't get any intelligence tests like that again once inside. That one is to weed out the literal mongoloids.

Which job did you do?

VMB

In my troop it was all REME apart from 2 signals and like 5 RLC. The REME and the other large regiments always have shitloads of recruits constantly going through phase 1. They do try and get you in with other guys going into your regiment but some corps like Signals, AAC and the cavalry regiments (although the tankies get mixed with other tankies) from my experience get thinned out across the larger regiment troops.

It's army basic. You'll be fucking fine.
There were kids who could barely run a mile and a half at boot camp and they improved and got their EGA
Just don't be a little bitch and keep running, even if you can't, just do it.

What does the B stand for

We've got VMA and VMB. Vehicle Mechanics A work on armoured vehicles, B work on soft skin vehicles.

Ah

What do you do nowadays?

fuck all lol

I've done a few driving jobs, worked for UPS, worked in a couple of garages, hated both. (I got all my jobs thanks to my army career) But I should have stayed in the Army for longer.

I'm 28 and about to go try for the French Foreign Legion this year as my ditch attempt, if i don't make that I'll just shitpost on Veeky Forums for the rest of my life.

Try to enjoy phase 1, I honestly had the best time of my life in phase 1. It was a right laugh and you make great friends, I enjoyed phase 1 more then phase 2 and serving in regiment.

Like said, even if you lag behind everyone else at least be seen trying and don't give up.

You should try the police or something.


If I go all out and run like a mad man, how fit could I honestly get before April 10th?

the current cycle of basic has already started so i'm guessing you don't have to go till at least april. plenty of time still to achieve the basic level of fitness needed for basic

Enough if you push yourself hard enough.

But remember if you push too hard and injure yourself or overdo it, come phase 1 you'll be fucked....

PT test is a fucking joke.

Push-ups and sit-ups have nothing to do with strength. They're both movements that can be done for a silly amount of reps with enough practice.

>start doing around 100 push ups/sit ups spread throughout your day.

>increase this amount to around 300 or even more as you improve.

As far as running is concerned, lose weight, eat right. losing weight will make running easier. try to get onto a running regimen that progresses similarly to a powerlifting split.

>what im saying is dont just go out and mindlessly run everyday. plan it.

some of your running ability is genetically determined. some fuckers excel at the 2 mile. some fucking suck at it unless they put in a LOT of work.

not much in the way of supps would help you. pres and creatine might give you a slight edge but you have to put in the work user.

roids will help but i wouldnt go fucking with those before you hit boot camp.

>tl;dr: practice makes perfect for pushups and situps. running will take a program that utilizes some type of linear progression.

>people will be in equally bad shape
He's in worse shape then my 55-year-old mom who exercises trice a year and works from home

but to be honest OP, while getting in shape will make your stay easier... Basic is designed to take someone whos never worked out in their life and make them able to pass the test.

Plus you wont be the only one there thats out of shape. So work out but dont kill yourself or do something stupid over it user.

If I get closer to the date and I'm really not fit enough do you think they would let me get a later intake or would they just think I'm taking the piss

Nah best just to go, especially with the British Army waiting times. Unless you keep failing your PFT they won't boot you, so even if you're still at the back of the pack, you'll still pass out if you pass the tests.

If you're that worried about it, just keep practising the PFT/1.5mile, just do that like twice a week until you join.

Yeah, I was originally going in as an EWOP and my intake was in May but decided to change my job choice and now here I am.

Yeah i would just go considering they already let you do that, i wouldn't piss off your AFCO too much.

They don't do AFCO anymore

All civilian contractors in recruiting now m8

fucking hell, things have changed. You used to be able to get a AFCO posting as a private, was meant to be one of the best postings you could get in the whole army.

They even have civilian contractors in suits at selection watching you while filling in notes on a clipboard

lmao

planning on joining the navy come september/august. been running for the past month and a half now.

I was wondering if i have a weak stomach. If i run after eating something decent and hour and a half before i cant breathe for shit and start feeling queesy. Is that normal? I keep getting pain in my left shoulder after running for 20 to 30 minutes, and my stitch kept coming earlier into my run, some times before even running a minute. Its oddly bearable but im wondering if this means im making progress

Why not try running before your dinner? Getting a stitch or a random pain in your shoulder isn't an indication you're improving, but an indication that your shoulder is most likely week and the stitch is only going to slow you.

What if I did a 5k run in the morning and 5k interval sprints at night

I could run before eating but wouldnt the fact that i have no food in me slow me down? Not trying to argue but trying to understand.

I was wondering if i was improving due to earlier and earlier stitches. It actually doesnt bother as me as much any more until about 20 minutes in. When it first starts its sort of sharp but then dissapears. 20 minutes in it turns into a dull pain around that side of my abdomen. Sometimes happens on my other side to

Well ideally you shouldn't be getting any stitches, so i don't think the timing of them is guidance.

You can eat throughout the day, just if you always feel queasy rather then running after your largest meal i.e Dinner run before it. You'll still have lunch in your system.

fuck you dipshit, having untrained fucks like you in signal fucking ruins our reputation.

>be Norwegian Army
>be in Signal as a antenne operator.
>one of the hardets and physical platoons in the army
>5 soldier squad
>equipment of about 50-70KG for each
>have dipshit untrained soldiers
>use about 5 hour longer then planned to get the antennes up to get signal to infantery because dipshit want break all time
>have to carrie weight for the dipshits so we can walk without breaks, fucking ruining my back for this untrained cunt.
>also had a girl who cried everynight in the field because she was tierd, atleast she could hang tight with my walking speed.

Dont be this guy user

why don't you just use those cars

I see, sounds good.

Im still a fatass and i got about 40 pounds to lose before im no longer obese/overweight. I guess i still got more work to do before the stitches are gone for good

Anything is a positive, go out now while those winds are hitting the UK and do sprint or hill training in that.

LOL OP you gone have one hell of a fun time

Get couch 2 5k app and put some work in you fat fuck

I'm skeptical of them doing that shit - fight it. Anyway, you should be working with your recruiter to get fit, they have programs for this shit. The point of basic isn't to win, necessarily, just don't stand out, then the DIs won't assblast you

>U.S. army enlists fat asses
>greatest army in the world
whew

i'm 140lbs

what the fuck
I ran for a month and I passed physical tests just fine

>implying whatever cuck country you're from could compete
>implying you wouldn't be glassed over in a matter of days

You can massively improve your cardio between now and your ship date. Start running.

The US military's idea has always been throw money at everything instead of training correctly, as Russia's/China's has always been throw manpower at everything instead of training correctly.

You're not fucked OP, that's what the training is for. Just do your best. You'll be running in C group for a hot minute but you'll work your way up. Every morning at like 0500 baby, running errr day.
Better get used to hearing

HALF LEFT FACE
FRONT LEANING REST POSITIOOOOON


MOVE

so, who wins?

I did ten years in the signals.

Basic training is designed to build you up the necessary standard required to pass out. Just put the effort in and you'll get the rewards.

I fucking loved basic training.

No one, the US has had highest blue on blue count up untill today.

8:00 to 8:20 were always my times. Fastest I ever saw was 7:30

Yeah man, nothing like it. The feeling of going to chow after PT is glory on earth, never thought I'd love food so much. I don't miss ft sill but it was fun.
I mixed instant coffee in my canteen thinking it'd be my little secret and that'd I'd appreciate it later. Never been so mad about drinking coffee in my life when all I wanted was water. My battle buddy was this Asian dude who would tell me stories about eating dogs and other weird shit. Oh well time to reenlist see ya fuckers.

I bet you struggled to get rid of that coffee taste in your canteen.

> REME
> VMA/B
> Pic fucking related

Aayyyy!

Dudes right, Phase One is a proper giggle. Best time of your life mate. Enjoy it.

OP, I repeat my previous point about PTs pushing you. They'll have more respect for you running 1.7mile in 12 minutes if you give it everything you've got than the dude who doesn't sweat at 10 minutes. It's all about maximum effort in EVERYTHING you do.

The bollockings you get aren't as bad as they used to be. Just remember, it's all games to test you. Give it everything and you'll do fine.

Run on a treadmill until you literally feel like you're going to die, I don't mean...ow I cramped I mean like, you're out of breath, choking on your spit, might have a heart attack, then walk at 4 mph for two minutes, do it again.

Do that four times, then sprint as hard as you can or at 8mph for two minutes. Do that every day until your basic date.

Drink 8-10 bottles of water or glasses of water a day, don't exceed 12 bottles of water.

If it's not raw, or fresh don't eat it.

Don't actually die, basic will do the rest.

While your at it start 100pushups.com

You can thank me later

Switch to 100% cardio. Everyday.

>But mah gains
You can get them later. Want to get in the army or not?

You at bordon lad?