That feeling when you lost a bunch of weight, shaved your dumb ass beard, got ripped...

>that feeling when you lost a bunch of weight, shaved your dumb ass beard, got ripped, bought nice clothes that shows off your arms, and have a cool haircut, but even though girls are looking at you now and making eye contact before quickly turning their heads, you're still fucking autistic. Even though you can be the #1 cellphone representative of your store and all your coworkers love you, you still are a hollow fucking pitiful little insignificant bastard who doesn't know how to have a normal conversation with a girl past 2 topics.
Kill me

It's really not that hard bro. Just smile, be cool, give them compliments, and act normal.

>Kill me

nah son, instead ima tell you how to talk to girls.

step 1: she's a goddamn person not an alien. talk to her like you would to a prospective friend. be considerate of her feelings. be empathic. don't dumb.

step 2: remember you're trying to find a chick you'd enjoy spending time with. what are your personal requirements for a partner? find out if she fits the bill. makes you look interested(because you are) and makes her feel valuable. avoid making it sound like a job interview tho. also remember she's trying to find a chill dude too, give her some info in return.

those are neat running shoes shes wearing, does she do a lot of sports? neat! you too! what kinda? Running? Cool, you do that too! Wildwater rafting? Oh, you never done that before but that sounds thrilling! What does she do to relax from that? Movies? What kinda? Maybe you should watch one together! you get the idea.

Step 3: tell her you enjoyed talking to her and gtfo. if you would like to talk to her again, tell her and exchage numbers.

There's nothing else to it. Smile, be nice, ask about whatever, hobbies, work, family. if youre not into whatever thing shes talking about, comment on that and switch the topic. if you find a common interest, ask further questions or talk about your own experiences.

Just be yourself

Gas
Your
Self
Just grab her by the pusssy faggot

your gay

>remember you're trying to find a chick you'd enjoy spending time with.

>act normal
you lost me there

I honestly don't know that feel.

Lifting made me a better person in every way. Guess you're just a fag.

THOSE FUCKING FEET MAN, I WANT THEM IN MY MOUTH

...

those mediocre, flat, completely unexceptional feet?

it's like asking for Arby's for your last meal.

>foot fags

>Even though you can be the #1 cellphone representative of your store

Do you work for AT&T?
>work, family, hobbies

REEEEEEEEEE YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU NEVER TRY REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeee

Couldnt stop laughing at #1 cellphone rep

>mediocre

PICKY FAGGOT I HAVEN'T HAD ANY FEET FOR TWO YEARS REEE

>tfw you took a lewd young teen year to a hotel and after fucking her, she asks you if you have a foot fetish as she strokes your arm with her foot in stockings and you go "n-naa" as she continues to stroke you.

Happened to me last october. Lost my virginity to a crazy girl who cut alot. She was slight chubby but had delicious thick thighs and when she sat on top of me, I played with her fat tits. She even wanted me to put it in her ass and when she gasped and looked into my eyes as I was drunk, she whispered "this hurts more than you think" and I said "cmon I want in deeper" she said "aww poor baby".

When a girl teases you and says poor baby as her asshole clutches around your dick and she wants to get it all in, there is no amount of anything else in the world that can make you feel fucking amazing.
we the fought after that, and I never saw her again...but damn I am hungry for more. I am addicted to anal..

I envy you so much user

*REEEs in distance*

>shaved your dumb ass beard

Yeah if you're some kind of pussy lmao

Eghh, I am in Missouri, have no friends, no connections. The only reason why she really wanted to fuck me is because she saw how much money I make a year and she fucking came to the sight of my v8 mustang. She sits at home all the time all day due to depression and she was hoping I would save her from just sitting there with her single mom all day. "The dad died"

I can't take care of anyone else right now. I am still saving up for a house.

Like I said, that was a fucking lucky chance. Met on Tindr, but other than that, I am pretty fucking lonely myself haha. Need to just keep getting fit. I got the face, I just need the house...

>t. nu-male

kys

Nah I'm talking about a beard and hair like pic related except down to your shoulders.

still nu-male, we are not in 70's anymore user. Only few people can pull that beard today

Jokes on you if you need a beard, I guess
I got a good chin and I get tons of attention when I am clean shaven. You think a girl likes to kiss a guy with a beard? Naa, lad. Get fit. Be clean shaven, get the veins popping, and have abs. All you need in this life to get laid aside of some fucking social skills.

My diet has been shit lately since I've had the flu for two weeks...gotta get serious again after it goes away.

>You think a girl likes to kiss a guy with a beard?

Yeah. Or are you still a kissless virgin desperately trying anything to get a girl? Sad!

>#1 cellphone representative in your store

user i literally can't stop laughing. i had a hard day today and i needed this. thank you.

>those are neat running shoes shes wearing, does she do a lot of sports? neat! you too! what kinda? Running? Cool, you do that too! Wildwater rafting? Oh, you never done that before but that sounds thrilling! What does she do to relax from that? Movies? What kinda? Maybe you should watch one together! you get the idea.
Nothing bothers me more than people who ask infinite streams of questions to socialize, it's obnoxious as fuck and always ends up touching arguments that I'd rather keep private.

Autismo

I'm literally professionally diagnosed with aspergers and have two 8/10 virgins-before-I-fucked-them girlfriends.

How can you be fucking this up so bad.

Bro, the first issue you have is that you are treating them like they are another species. That's really not true, just imagine that they are another human being, and forget about sex and boobs and all that stuff, it will come when the time is right. Secondly, just approach them with the confidence that you would with one of your friends. Just walk up to them and comment on something that belongs to them or that makes them different from other people. And if they don't want to talk it's not the end of the world. Realize the universe has more than 5 people and if one person doesn't want to talk to you it's not the end of the world

>He can't grow a beard

lately ive been imagining grills are my best dude friend whos a dyel gamer faggot

i just talk to them like i dont care. because i honestly dont care anymore if i never talk to them again.

>those are neat running shoes shes wearing, does she do a lot of sports? neat! you too! what kinda? Running? Cool, you do that too! Wildwater rafting? Oh, you never done that before but that sounds thrilling! What does she do to relax from that? Movies? What kinda? Maybe you should watch one together! you get the idea.
that's cringey af senpai
never talk like that to people

>tfw when great at talking to women and making them laugh but your teeth are rotten and crooked and you're fat as shit

What are some exercises that can make my teeth not terrible?

...

>normal conversation with a girl past 2 topics
That's OK if one of those topics is the GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND HIMSELF
MAGA MOTHERFUCKER

Social skills are second to forming a genuine human connection.

Hint: Girls are humans just like you and me.

talking to women is objectively easier than talking to men
Just smile and say whatever comes to your mind.

Not a lot goes through my mind, can I just be pretty and only say a couple things?

>the #1 cellphone representative of your store and all your coworkers love you,
Now aim to be the #1 cellphone rep in the company's region, you can do it, user, we believe in you

>the #1 cellphone representative of your store

Why don't you sell me this pen?

Start learning. You're a man, act like it. You don't have to say a lot, but make your words matter

...

>Cardio
>Ever

found a fat "powerlifter"

>practicing sports
found the dyel

well this might be a sign if you are more confident around men
maybe you should try a gay relationship

>a girl
>you unironically enjoy spending time with

kek, good luck finding a unicorn

when you say autistic just say what you really mean. scared. scared of people judging you. scared of what people might think. and this is all because you are obsessed with yourself.

You've worked so hard and got so far, surely you can do TheRedPill and build your social skills. Come on bro.

john?

Yeah... Who are you? Didn't think any of my friends were on Veeky Forums

are you fucking retarded? Whatever you are not confident around is what you're attracted to.

Jimbo?

Joshua?

think of all the time you spent creating achieving the milestones you mentioned, now realize that conversation is just another facet of life to become proficient in. With what you mentioned, it seems apparent that you are capable of doing. Be confident, not arrogant; practicing and training your ability to interact with others takes time. Humans are complex social creatures that take time to understand. I truly hope you can see the good qualities in yourself and realize you are only as insignificant as you make yourself. Good fortune to you in your endeavors, friend!

>she's a goddamn person not an alien

Stopped reading right there. Women are subhumans and should be treated as such.

Keep working on yourself john! If people respond well to you in social settings then congratulations! You are attractive.

Now you just have to find something youre passionate about and devote time to it, also expand your horizons! Read books, watch documentaries, engage different people in order to learn about them. These experiences become real talking points! You will be a natural in no time. Good luck!

>john

My name isn't John...

are you my college roommate?

wtf is this shit dude don't listen to this faggot

just accept your life as a Veeky Forums hermit instead of a /fat/ hermit

>remove kike nose
>marry a kike so you children will also have a kike nose

When will women learn?

god she looked so much like daddy before the surgery

>those are neat running shoes shes wearing, does she do a lot of sports? neat! you too! what kinda? Running? Cool, you do that too! Wildwater rafting? Oh, you never done that before but that sounds thrilling! What does she do to relax from that? Movies? What kinda? Maybe you should watch one together! you get the idea.
What the actual fuck is this shit?
He's not a fucking normie robot, don't listen to this cuck, OP. He doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about. If you want to get women all you have to do is tell them how much you bench and if it's more than 315x10 then you are in the club.

I've noticed that you don't have to make everything explicitly sexual. Just kind of hint at it since women are more subtle. I think it's far more important to have your life together (i.e. dress nicely, have hobbies, ask open ended questions) and be assertive in the way you carry yourself. Being assertive about plans always gets their panties more wet than asking them, it just makes them see you more as a man.

This

See, I don't trust this guy. My buddy has ass-burgers and he made the same claim about his girlfriend. She was an obese midget with a terrible attitude.

I'm not confident when there is hot iron being pushed into my urethra. I guess my list of fetishes is going to keep getting longer

>mustang

kek

no

shit car

You can do it, John!!!

don't listen to this shit.

instead of spending time posting >tfw no gf threads just fucking make the conscious effort to grow your sack and when you see a girl looking at your look over at her and hold if. If she just stares back then smile, if she looks away quick then looks right back smile, if she just diverts eyes and doesn't then just don't engage.

You will feel awkward as fuck the first many times and you probably do actually in reality look like a super autist with your weird smile but eventually you'll get it.

watch a lot of practical psychology on youtube bro, what videos of what girls want.

Be passionate about something that you care about you can't fake that and people can see it in you.

People think passion or being passionate about something is demonstrated by how excited you are. This is bullshit but that is what people see. That is why even though you are passionate ( hence the many achievements) people are not responding well even when they get a sense of your potential success from your achievements evident at work and on your body.

Cant confirm I have a sweat fetish and when i get wiff of of a lady with the right sent I transform from a bumbling autist into a confident alpha autist that somehow manages to get girls to let me hold their hand while I run my nose up their arm savourng them like a fine whine

what are those two topics? a-asking for a friend

>Just be yourself

>colour hair blue
>kids will also have blue hair

Your logic is off.

Braces. Never too late, you'll be thankful for it.

I hope you don't still imagine that she's him while you're banging.

He's saying there's a double dose of kike nose going on, and if she was so turned off by how her own nose looked, she shouldn't have married someone that would've further increased the likelihood of a child with the bad nose

I don't even like Mustangs, but for picking up random lower class sluts they work pretty fucking well.

>makes you look interested(because you are) and makes her feel valuable.
>mfw a big guy (for me) did this to me
>hey nice calves, do you ride bikes? I could tell from your shoes (I had some meme minimalist running shoes on)
>n-no I can't ride bikes
>I-I have to go
>mfw I'm a guy

>give them compliments.

Don't do this. Giving unearned compliments is beta.

>tfw found a unicorn
>to rub it in she sends selfies of herself wearing a unicorn-onesie
>she loves frogs
>tfw get feels for the first time since I was 14
>only met her twice, but feels like we've known each other for a lifetime

I almost believe in Kek at this point tbqh, he has bestowed upon me the chance for a qt frog gf

HOW DO I NOT FUCK IT UP BREHS? CAN I UNIRONICALLY ASK HER TO BE MY GF POST SEX TOMORROW?

HELP

>pic related, frog qt