Tfw meeting an older woman for sex in two days

>tfw meeting an older woman for sex in two days
wew lads it's been three years since i've last had sex.

sexual health general too i suppose

don't forget foreplay, and ask her to locate her clit so youre not just playing with her vagina lips for 15 minutes

you're gping to have so much anxiety lmfao. Just get a circle of friends slowly over time and meet females naturally at bars and stuff instead of over the internet like some mega loser

Don't waste the opportunity to sniff and lick her asshole, lest you go another 3 years without being able to get a woman's most intimate musk all over you.

Not the OP but I've set it up plenty of times over the Internet and it has always gone without a hitch. They're just people, whether they're online or in some bar. Who gives a shit

>implying people meet irl anymore in the digital age
top kek

More or less this, as hard as it'll be if it's been 3 years for you try to be patient because if you rush and blow fast she won't be back and you'll be waiting another 3 years.
A wine or something will help make sure she's comfortable and as you're fucking her grab her hand and direct it to her clit so she plays with herself, great to watch and helps ensure she's back for more.

God speed son


Also re the health, wrap it for fucks sake, until you can be sure she's using some sort of contraception and not fucking others you need to protect yourself from kids and sti's

online dating is so pathetic lmao. At least try to leave your house and have a bros night out lmao and make contacts in your phone which lead to getting invited to parties lmao. Tinder / eharmony etc is so pathetic

dude lmao

>ask her to locate her clit

Wtf how could it be hard to find?

t. virgin who watches porn

if your kissing and just stick your hand down her pants (which is how foreplay usually starts) its pretty hard to find, if you just ask her to help you find her clit she'll just grab your hand and move it there

You know where the tailbone is, the one on the lower half of your body? That's where the clit is for women. The difference is that it a more stimulated than guys.

Foreplay
Just stick hand down her pants

Jesus dude, slow the fuck down hahaha

Make sure you shove her underwear in her mouth as you fuck her, and as said. Also don't forget to pocket her underwear when you're done.

...

I thought the clit was the vag? And wtf do you mean tailbone? That's around back.

They're memeing you mate

dude lmao lmao

>might actually lose my wizard powers soon

What birth control does /swg/ use? Will I feel it if my girl is using the sponge?

"... e-excuse me mam... c-can you please locate your clit for me... mam. Thank you m'lady."

got blown off by a chick who does competitive bodybuilding tonight. She was probably crazy right bros?
said she goes to gym 6x a week 2x a day (pls help make the pain go away)

COPE
O
P
E

Sounds like an addict trying to overcompensate.

friendly reminder that sex isn't even that great

L-M-A-0!111!! what did he mean, dudes???

How old?

45.

>Wtf how could it be hard to find?
its not.

They're memeing you

but also the clit isn't the same thing as the vag you fucking retard. Jesus christ, did you skip health class or something?

Google it. You'll see what a retard you are.

Protip
>the vagina is the hole you put your dick in stupid
>The clit is what you stimulate outside the vagina
>Women pee through their urethra and not their vagina

Bonus fact:
>you might as well eat ass if you're gonna eat pussy because you've definitely licked ass by accident anyway

My source;
I have a vagina

Seriously how are you so retarded you don't know the clit and vag are separate? Even most porn you can see the clit being touched.

>tfw this kid will never stimulate any poor woman's g-spot for that matter
I pity any woman you have sex with because it's probably gonna be the shittiest sex of her life.

Oh....Good luck

mirin. How did you pull her?

I went 4 years without sex. 20-24.

jesus christ I missed the years of dumb sluts. but now im 28 trying to make up for it

Lawl, done this

Swingers website kek, browsed for the fuck of it, found a profile of some couple that said the wife had a thing for younger dudes, went for it, and it worked out.

Which is great because I've always wanted to fuck an older woman.

>noko
jesus, now there's a blast from the past

Stop hormoning

Zoo-wee-mama!

at least I'm not a girl

Is it gay that i find clits gross .. the thought of it being a tiny penis is disgusting to me.. also i dont eat pussy because the first time i did in high school it tasted like sour milk and pennies.. im traumatized bros... help

find a healthy girl user.

I'm 22 and fucking my 31 year old manager

It never gets better bro

thats some kinda sad stuff you should still hold out hope man

Pussy just tastes like pennies, like blood, nothing you can do about it.

R u female?

the clit is the least disgusting part of the vagina. the real horror is the hole

OP just say something dominant like

"spread you pussy baby"

You and me bro, you and me...
Vaginas are fucking disgusting, yet it does things to my dick

t. virgin

are you a cuck?

why are women allowed to exist

they are so insufferable
this shit made me gay

It's not that great because of deathgrip. I bet he killed his dick giving himself the handjob

This. Holy shit this.
>be me
>16 y/o
>just got my license
>sneak out of the house to see qt3.14
>pick her up
>she's virgin to everything, me too
>we start experimenting
>gives me worst blowjob of my life, all teeth
>I decide that I'm gonna return the favor
>go down on her
>not sure what to do, always skip that part of porn
>no clue what clitoris is
>start to lick hole
>abouttopuke.jpeg
>literally penetrating her with my tongue
>"how does that feel?" I say confidently
>"alright I guess"
>get pissed because I'm down here suffering and she doesn't even like it
>tell my best friend afterwards
>kek so hard that he cries
>"you're supposed to lick her clit, not her hole user!"

This still makes me cringe.

>gives me worst blowjob of my life, all teeth
was this not the only Blowjob of you virgin life...

Am I weird for liking it when they use teeth? Palate and throat just feel like a slightly more muscular vagina to me.
Teeth give me feelings I can't describe.

>ask her to locate her clit
Most peeps don't like sex to be that mechanical.

You're a rare and beautiful butterfly user.

I don't get the whole ball play thing. Maybe mine are too big to feel anything or to handle properly but it just gives me mild discomfort.

evolution and/or education gone wrong


but srsly
>be a heterosexual man
>find female sexual organs disgusting
pick one and only one

but yeah, this is Veeky Forums after all.... n-no h-ho-homo