ITT we talk about times we autistically ruined our chances at nutting inside of qt3.14s

im just not very assertive with women.

leads to a lonely life

>at new years house party
>cute girl and I lock eyes for a few seconds
>probably should've made a move then
>didn't
>start talking to her and her friend later
>she leaves to dance
>friend asks me if I want qt
>yes.jpg
>go after her
>girl ignores me at this point
>friend sees it, asks for the D
>music is loud, can't hear
>ask to repeat
>heard it this time but never had someone straight up ask to bang before
>not believing what I heard
>don't take her hand
>don't lead her upstairs
>don't pass go
>don't collect $200
Sometimes I forget I actually look decent

Was she at least a solid 7 tho?

Dude, easily. The one in that story could even be an 8 depending on your tastes. I'm kind of in your camp in that I'm getting more and more aesthetic and (sexual) things I'd have expected people to pass off as jokes are now being seriously considered. Even before starting to look good, people used to describe me as "Someone who gets what he wants". So combine a retarded level of deadpan comedic timing and delivery with a sudden aesthetic body and you get me (Also helps that I have HFF)

>sometimes I forget I actually look decent

Me, kinda. I've actually been able to hook up with some solid 8/10, but sometimes can't talk to average girls.
Also I've been unlucky and haven't sealed the deal in like 5 months, someone help

>sitting, playing a game on my phone waiting for my soup and sammy
>tall pretty blonde girl walks up to me and says "hi, I just wanted to say... you're gorgerous."
>say "thanks", smile and go back to playing game.

>drunk as shit friday night
>at pizza place 2 am
>college town everyone is at pizza place after parties/bars close
>qt girl in front of me
>cashier thinks we are together rings us up together
>full autismo activate
>I-Ill pay d-d-dont worry about it
M'lady.jpg
>omg you are such a gentlemen
>touching my stomach/chest region getting closer
autismintensifies.png
>shit-faced so manage to hold spaghetti in pockets
>girl takes my number adds me on fuckbook
Shall I continue? This is a long one anons

picture of me and said gril
I am not bad looking, but keep in mind full autismo
Let me know if I continue posting

Go ahead, you creepy smiling faggot.

>Next day
>See pic posted above on fagbook
>when trying to be social conquering autism with alcohol always seems to work
>this is my chance to see a vagina
whatwouldchaddo.exe
>text girl for a few mins
>literally covering the microphone hole in my phone so spaghetti can't go through
>can i come over? we can do some cuddling
>this seemed like the logical step towards getting access to the gash
>uh i have to study for mid terms
>o-oh- ok
>maybe hmu next weekend user if youre going out
hopeisnotlost.txt
cont.

Sorry dont have pre-typed and have greentexted much will try to do the rest quicker

round 1
>highschool party for some chick
>her and her friends keep asking me if im drunk/high and keep trying to get me to drink/smoke
>prior to this, she would get our mutual friends to get me to start talking to her but i never did cuz idiota
>plays music and dances 1 foot away from me shaking her ass directly infront of me, practically giving me a lapdance
>i was sitting in a chair and just ignored her while talking to another friend
>say i have work the next day and leave cuz im autismo

round 2
>another grill in highschool had a crush on me for years
>she tells other girls, they all start talking to me trying to get close, over hear them about how shes always liked me
>she would like cheer for me when we did games in class
>she would come up to me during gym/class a ton of times trying to talk
>barely respond cuz antidepressants made me feel like zombie + autismo

round 3
>another girl would wrap her legs around mine when we were seated across from eachother
>when seated next to me would put her legs on top of me
>would play with cleavage with a pencil while staring at me
>would always talk to me about her boobs (10/10 tig bitties)
>would randomly compliment me all the time

round 4
>different grill always staring at me and shit, i always suspected she liked me
>i walk down same staircase everyday after class
>her and her friends waited there one day
>her friend says look theres user are you going to go up to him
>she looks at me
>i hurry down stairs and turn corner to my locker

bunch of other stories of girls showing interest and me just not recipricating, these 4 were in highschool and im now 23 and a kissless virgin

me being autismo and the antidepressants really fucked up my chances at highschool pussy

atleast my rep weight for bench went up last week haha

>hey user! want to come over Friday im having a party with some friends
wut.html
>usual method of into parties by tagging along with dormmates like a dog behind its owner
>Yeah sure! I'll be there sounds great
spaghetticooking.zip
>go to party with ugly stoner friend
>higher than r kelly when he asks for golden showers
>H-hey how have you been!
>wow i didn't think you would wear an ugly sweater that was just a joke user!
spaghettisplashinginpockets.jar
>oh... haha I thought since it was that time of year I would just wear it anyway
>only one at the party wearing stupid sweater
>pic very related
>oh haha youre so confident user! wow that sweater is soft can you make the polar bears fuck?
whythissweater.gif
>flex pecs to make polar bears look like they are humping
>introduces me to a few friends
>one we will call jess
>jess "wow haha that sweaters hilarious!" youre that guy that bought kat (girl 1) pizza at that pizza place! such a nice guy! You must not care what anyone thinks
spaghettigeyser.java
>Im just gonna go play beer pong! Ill catch up with you in a bit!
>sit and play beer pong for 2 hours
>praying to kek that alcohol can cure my autism before spaghetti is unleashed

anyone still reading?

Go on sperg

Hello me, how is life

>on cruise ship
>spring break last year
>college party cruise with bunch of frats/sorority but I'm a geed
>meet grill in hot tub
>digging me feelin my arms telling me how good looking I am
>she starts biting my shoulders and ear, kissing my neck
>take her to bar to get another drink
>says she doesn't want one wants me to walk her to her room
>tell her my cabin mates lost their cards so can't get in room and I have only one
>tell her to change and come back to hot tub and find me
>never comes back
>everyone in hot tub (even strangers) high fiving me thinking I smashed
>next day run into her friend
>omg you're the guy that made (girl name) cry last night

Probably not even my worst story desu. Had girls beating down my door in dorms wanting to fuck me when I was in college

Ye

still reading

>girl 2 (Jess) comes up to me and stoner friend with another rando girl
>Hey user want to see a cool trick!
>yeah sure haha
>2 8/10 qts start making out in front of me and stoner friend
mathclassboner.c
>oh wow thats a really cool trick!
>lost like a deep sea squid in the desert
>stoner friend too high to be of any help
>just keep saying shit like wow haha do it again
>keep in mind girl 2 is original girl's best friend
>eventually girl 2 and rando girl say they want to go outside to smoke
finally.mac
>outside smoking cigarettes spaghetti relatively tame
>get idea to go grab more alcohol from stoner friend's car
>get back to the house with more alcohol (late as fuck at this point also browning out)
wherestheparty.obj
>girl 1 outside screaming with girl 2
>everyone leaving the apartment
>try to talk to girl one to see what happened
>lots of yelling incoherent words
>can make out "she always does this" and "you should leave"
> get the idea I should follow the other people and leave (maybe 10 people MAX throughout the whole thing)
>start following girl 2 (lesbo kissing girl)
>w-w-what happened back there why was kat so mad?
hereallydoesntgetitdoeshe.mk
>laugh and ignore me and keep walking away
>see stoner friend
>just sitting laughing his ass off
>ask him whats so funny and wtf he think happened when we left
>stoner friend just laughing high as a kite looking like kim jung un
>you really that stupid user?
yes.LOG
>that bitch Jess (girl 1) invited you over and she wanted to get with you, but you sat there watching her friend make out with her other friend half the time you were there then left
shiiieeeet.nig
>b-but i didnt leave we were just getting alcohol
>who the fuck gets more alcohol at 3 am when they are shitfaced she thought you were trying to dip and get with friend
ifonlyiknewhow.jsp
>tfw friend knew the whole time
>tfw girl spread her legs and i still didnt know how to find the hole
needless to say those girls never talked to me again.

AUTISM: THE STORY fin

It took me two years of going through shit like that in college until I finally had sex.
We all gonna make it bros

There is this 6/10 at work who wants my dick, if i stand up, her desk she is directly in front of me and she is always wearing skimpy clothes and offering me stuff like food.... only thing is i heard her telling a co-worker that she's been with 40 guys and I don't wanna catch something.... shes has to have some kinda problems to be 21 and been with 40 dudes.... think i should fuck her?

I wouldn't

Green text too much effort on a phone

Work with God tier qt, amazing personality and 9/10 looks

Flirt hard in person and constantly texting

Tell her she needs to come over so I can ravage her

She agrees but says I need to take her for a date first and treat her like a lady Tfw too autistic to spend that much time with someone and hold a legit conversation, so I decline

Every day I ask, every day same response. Never fucked her, but played with her titties lots at work at least. Regret it every day since, she's my oneitis, such an amazing chick. Too bad she moved away.

Take those risks anons, don't leave anything to regret

do it pucci

i did m8

Well, at least you look good and have friends user. Are you virgin btw?

>Fingered a girl ironically

Not anymore took me 1.5 years in college tho. My brain definitely fucked with me a lot when I had the mindset "I just need to lose my virginity"

>beer pong for 2 hours
jesus christ mang

i dated my ex for 2 years and she left me cause i gave her the cold shoulder cause of depression, she didnt think i loved her, it's awful lol

>ITT we talk about times we autistically ruined our chances at nutting inside of qt3.14s

>Have multiple girls literally ask me out, not including just flirting bullshit with other grills, in high school
>Say no to all of them because autistic
>Currently 26, going on 27, and a kissless virgin

People tell me that I'm handsome and a good catch but I think I'm a piece of shit. Oh well, here's to dying alone.

top kek
You had two girls fighting over you and you managed to get neither. I'm not sure whether to be impressed or not

I once professed my love for a girl through a giant novel of a text message.

:^)

Did it work?

>be 13
>teachers leaves class
>hottest girl in asks me to put hand on chair next to me
>sits on my hand and starts wriggling
>tells me that she wants to see a cock IRL
>think she's trolling
>the next day she starts fondling my ass
>think it's banter
>we get assigned to clean a classroom together next month
>she starts fingering herself and asks me to sniff her hand
>"nah, she's just making fun of me"

>be 15, just started HS
>on class trip to nature park
>go off with two girls, end up lying on blanket on meadow
>they start making out
>one takes an orange half and squeezes juice onto her boobs
>the other one licks it off, invites me to join
>ignore them
>one of them basically tried to hump me every chance she got

>be 17, drunk as fuck at a friends cabin party
>girl invites me to sit in her lap
>might as well
>she starts feeling my pecs and starts kissing my neck
>excuse myself to toilet in panic
>light is broken in toilet, unzip
>girl that was lying in bathtub approaches me from behind and starts jerking me off
>shove her and run out
>walk home 20km in the middle of the night down a rural highway, in new dress shoes

>etc. etc. etc.

Basically I had at least a dozen chances to get lucky then and there in my teens - most of them were 7/10 and up. Still a kiss-less virgin at 25. Completely terrified of intimacy for some reason. Most people assume I'm gay, don't mind really.

At least I'm on track to squat 500 by end of the year.

Thanks for leaving girls for the rest of us autismo chads

>my oneitis
>doesn't want to take her on a date

you don't know what you're talking about, boy.

Boy do I have one for you

>21 yo me, late 2016
>Dating a Co-worker (18) and I sneak into her house
>We're just chilling in her room, helping her clean
>Can't talk much because her Dad has hyper senses
>We watch Netflix
>Ohshitnigga.jpg
>She's grinding on me while we watch some random shit
>Dick is in Final Form
>She keeps grinding on my cock and I start dry humping her
>She gets off bed and lays on floor for whatever reason
>we chat more and I lay on the floor next to her
>Chat continues and she's breathing heavily
>Tells me she's extremely horny but doesn't want to have sex
>Fuck that, I sit up while she's blabbering some random shit and I'm at her feet
>Unzip pants
>Put my hands on her knees as she talks and spread her legs
>Put myself over her and make out while grinding my cock over her pussy
>Literally inside but I have my underwear on
>She stops me and says if we have sex we'll never be the same
>She's joining army or some shit and I'll never see her again
>Either choose love and respect her wishes or fuck her and she leave 2 months later
>Cucked myself and went with love and we didn't fuck
>Chill a bit longer and I leave

We ended up breaking up 2 weeks later and she fucked some other guy she had a 1 night stand with before me and even dated him for a month until she left.

To this day I think about that night and what went through my head. My chance to lose my virginity and I chose not to because I loved a THOT

>recently went to convention dressed as jacket
>later that night went out for my birthday alone
>still wore jacket because it's a jacket jacket
>after few drinks asian qt3.14 shows up
>"wow that's a nice jacket user"
>tell her it's from a video game
>she nods then walks off
>half an hour later i realise i'm autistic

I didn't mess up too bad...r-right?

>be me
>see actual 8/10 Stacey in one of my classes
>19, hot as hell, thick
>talk to her one day after class
>start working on homework together
>she texts me all the time
>one day asks if I can come to the library to study for a test that night
>tell her i don't feel like it but that she can drive to my apartment if she wants
>she comes by
>get on phone tell her directions
>am drunk when she gets there
>do no studying
>so drunk she has to drive me to test
>remember almost nothing about this, just remember loudly singing in her car and her laughing like crazy
>bombed test
>few weeks later
>she comes over again to do homework
>we do one problem and then sort of talk
>she's sitting on my couch i'm laying on the floor facing her with my laptop open pretending to do work
>awkward silence
>she stares at me and then slides down the couch and walks over to me on her knees
>lays next to me on her stomach, then rolls over onto her back and pushes against me so our sides, hips, and legs are touching
>rubbing her her leg against my leg
>she lifts up her shirt so her belly is exposed and starts playing with the strings on her shorts
>i stare at my laptop
>she lays like that for 10 minutes then get up and goes back to the couch

After that we just talked for a couple hours and she kept asking me questions about my personal life and my family and stuff. I was so hugely autistic that I didn't realize she was interested in me and probably wanted to fuck.

>got Veeky Forums
>banged oneitis
>got dumped by oneitis
>months later and even more Veeky Forums
>at a friend's party
>one of her friends is sitting beside me the whole night
>keeps smiling and talking to me
>know for loving the D
>we head to a club
>on the way there start getting autistic feels for oneitis
>leave shortly after getting there

Realised the next day she was being setup with me and wanted the D. Instead of getting over my autistic sadfag feels for oneitis, I head home alone.

This was last year, probably my biggest sperg moment, have another situation that comes very close

>be depressed self loathing autist
>see new girl at gym, she's quite a qt, 7/10 face, 9.5/10 ass (hnnng)
>constantly see her around
>one day I'm sitting down and I zone out and stare at a wall
>snap out of it and in my peripheral vision see the new girl is full on staring at me
>I look at her and say hi, she darts her head away in another direction and starts avoiding me and completely avoiding eye contact
>think I must have done something stupid or embarrassing so start avoiding her too
>this goes on for 3 days
>after a heavy set of deadlifts she nervously walks up to me and says "did you know you're like my man crush?"
>Since I am a self loathing autist I just go red in the face and say thanks and just avoid eye contact and continue packing my weights away
>I look over in her direction and see she is visibly upset
>She leaves the gym earlier than usual that day
>I start thinking about how I can fix this the next day and ask her out
>next day comes and i don't see her at the gym
>and the next week she isnt there either
>don't see her for a few months
>she comes back with a nerdy looking boyfriend

100% my own fault, took me a while to get over how fucking stupid I was in this situation

>if we fuck well never be the same
>proceeds to fuck some other guy
she must´ve been retarded

Ive banged my fair share of girls now but I was an absolute tard when I was younger (16 or so)

>been seeing this girl for a while
>invited her to stay at mine for the weekend
>she comes over
>we make out and kiss
>go to stick muh dick inside her but she refuses
>feel dejected
>wake up in the morning with her around me
>she pulls down my boxers and holds my throbbing dick
>asks if I want a blowjob
>"uhhh, I dunno"
>beta overload
>asks me again
>"uhhh, only if you want to"
>she lets go of my dick
>leaves an hour later
>mfw later that day when wondering why I didn't just say yes and throatfuck the dumb bitch

...

could be worse bruh

>be me, many days ago
>just after Christmas
>got a nice Andrew Marc leather jacket
>wearing it all the time
>get invited to visit a college friend
>go to party
>lotsa music and dancing
>wearing my jacket
>get really hot and go to put away jacket in a bedroom
>on the way, lock eyes with 8/10 looking bored af
>I swagger up to her
>"Hey, I like your motorcycle jacket"
>without missing a beat
>"Its not a motorcycle jacket"
>brush past her
>put jacket away
>continue dancing

No one has since complimented me on my nice jacket.

Basic AIDS ridden coalburner whore.

>Hanging at friend's place with some mates
>Smoking weed and talking shit
>8/10 qt I've had a crush on for years is there and she's recently single
>Someone convinces her to make a tinder account
>She's nervous so I offer to use her phone and tune some dudes for her(why?)
>She's sitting right up against me as we laugh at the gimps' profile pictures
>Pressing her chest firmly into me
>She notices my car wasn't there so she offers to drive me home
>nah it's alright, I got a lift with these blokes
>Several people notice and ask me if I'm sure about that
>Too stoned to pick up on any cues
>Get the piss taken out of me all the way home
haunts me to this day

There was way too much situations like that in my life.

Fucking end me brah
24 khhv

In the celebration of this imma do some box squats today

>she pulls down my boxers and holds my throbbing dick
>asks if I want a blowjob
>"uhhh, I dunno"

Stop reading, Hussar, most of these are made up.

I'm proud of my decisions

>Completely terrified of intimacy for some reason.
Can relate. It's weird. Every time I think there is a chance that a girl wants intimacy from me I find some excuse to think that it it's an act and not real. If she goes for me directly I shut down completely and am only left with anxiety and autism.
I don't even let my mother hug me because of how anxious it makes me. Is there any way out of this?

...

>crashing at a friends house after a party, other people are crashing there too
>end up sharing a bed with a qt I'd been crushing on all year
>she clearly wants to fuck
>ask if I can take my pants off
>she says yeah
>take my pants and underwear off
>lay there wearing nothing but my shirt and don't make a further move
>pretend to be asleep as it's getting awkward
>she gets up and leaves after about half an hour
>get told not to talk to her the next day

You just described my situation exactly. I regret not asking her out every single fucking day

hahaha holy shit

My man! Way to go, player.

Should've asked whether they could try that trick on you

Where the fuck do you guys live that girls come on this strong? In my day, if a girl liked you, she had her friend pass you a note that said "Do you like femanon? Yes [ ] No [ ]"

Were you hard, or laying there with a flaccid dick? If so she prob thought you weren't interested or a fag.

...

Well here's the story of how I missed out on a hatefuck with my ex. Then got semi-raped.

>Friend's house
>4th of July
>The party is excellent, mainly because almost everyone at this party went to highschool together (I was 19)
>Kind of drunk
>My ex is suddenly in the room where me and the bros are smoking and listening to music (fucking le weed days)
>Ex girlfriend is an ex because she's a passive aggressive cunt
>But now she is obviously drunk
>We both look a lot better than when we went out
>I'm obviously more fit and she has bigger tits and a qt3.14 new hairstyle
>She sees me and her eyes grow big
>She sits on my lap, ignoring all the other guys in the room and starts talking to me
>I let this go on for a while
>Eventually I make an excuse and go to leave
>Ex follows
>What the fuck does she want?
>She sees my new car (used, but like new)
>"Oh my goooood user, your car is so sexy..."
>I say thanks and drive off
>Get to my best friends house to really start partying
>He has a few girls over and some other randoms
>"Hey dude, where were you?"
>Explain where I was and what happened
>"Man, I'm pretty sure your ex wanted to fuck you. In your car."
>mfw I didn't realize this because I thought she was just being dumb

And then things went downhill...
Cont.

They live on /r9k/ in their mother's basement in the magical land of rp and eternal disappointment.

A good chunk of the stories sound nothing like real life because they have nothing to do with real life.

>nothing but a shirt
worst thing you could do
at least pretend you like sleeping without a shirt and take it off

>Is there any way out of this?
Guy you're replying to here: I've given up.

I think it started when I played doctor with some older girls from the neighborhood - felt terribly ashamed afterwards and avoided girls after our teacher told us something along the lines of "touching" being evil and the boys who do it going to jail. By the time I got over that (at around 13) I was afraid of kissing a girl because I thought I was behind the loop (all my friends told me they already did that and more, of course I believed them) and I would make some terrible mistake everyone in school would hear about.

Now I'm 25 and there is simply no way in hell I can catch up. I guess it's prostitutes for me, but I feel like that would be more humiliating than staying a virgin.

>In my day, if a girl liked you, she had her friend pass you a note that said "Do you like femanon? Yes [ ] No [ ]
Had this happen to me. Didn't understand what was going on and asked the guy next to me what does the note mean. He burst into laughter and yelled out "femanon likes user!" From then on she always tried to hit me whenever she got close.
Only figured out what happened years later.
>mfw

Most people are absolutely shite at foreplay and sex throughout their entire lives. Why do you think getting a fucking blowjob is hard for most people in long term committed relationships?

Just get out there.

Slavistan. Teenage girls are just as horny as teenage boys.

That post was completely honest; I was decent looking, tall, always athletic and social. But of course you don't have to believe me, who gives a shit.

>>the next day she starts fondling my ass
>>think it's banter
top kek

> be me
> 20 yo virgin
> go to library to do maths homework
> sit by a computer, there are computers left and right too
> female appears
> sits down beside me
> doesn't know how to turn on the computer
> asks me
> I show her
> she browses internet at first
> then she starts reading
> sitting turned towards me
> start touching my leg with her foot
> literally RUBBING her feet against my leg
> does that for a solid minute, that must've been intentional
> I ignore it, focusing hard on the computer screen
> my Spanish female friend comes, ask me something, then leaves
> girl asks me if I'm an exchange student too
> say no
> she then leaves, says goodbye

> don't even know how she looks
> i was always looking at the screen
> too autistic to look at her

> hate myself

Just under a year later, I am a 21 yo virgin now.

Read all of these stories and now my cock is literally angry.

>thanks

>had a girl pass me a note asking for my cellphone number
>thought they were fucking with me
>people oohing and ahhing
>get pissed off because obviously that confirms that they're just fucking with me
>eat the paper
>girl looks crushed, never talks to me again
>meet a dude years later who one day tells me that his sister used to talk nonstop about a dude with my name
>not a very common name, ask what school she went to
>same chick
Apparently she'd come home and talk about me nonstop for hours, which fucking confused me because I hardly ever had anything to do with this chick. Was old enough to have known better (16), but she was a darkie so I'm no phased.

>tfw my last ex was complete prude, fool me 3 months to get a handjob and like 1 year + for her to even take my dick in her mouth

She would then only do it when she was incredibly horny and obviously would never finish me, it was always only like 10-15 seconds of my dick in her mouth.
And precum totally put her off (even though I am sure it's tasteless).

That dims the sadness of the relationship being over a little though, because I now can at least look forward to the chance of getting a proper blowjob somewhere in the future.

oh wow

>friends with hot girl for over a year
>wanted to d8 but she wasn't into it just wanted a m8
>go clubbing with her a lot
>one night get her so drunk she comes back to mine and sleeps in my bed
>don't even know how it happened too drunk to remember all i remember is grabbing her ass and ripping her clothes off while making out
>mentioned once before if she was going to fuq she'd want to fucks with me because I'm a chill guy (i fucking laughed that comment off thinking it meant nothing I'm retarde' premium)
>think "oh shit matebetter pre heat that oven before i cook myself a chiko roll"
>used the powers of the internet on how to give proper head and she looks like shes being posessed, has to bury her face in a pillow to not moan loud enough my window would break while im casting spells with my wizard tounge
>finish up working under the hood and as I go to claim my own action SHE FALLS ASLEEP
>DID I GET HER TOO DRUNK OR DID SHE JUST ROB ME OF MY DIGNITY AND MY TIME

>and I would make some terrible mistake everyone in school would hear about.
This is what stopped me from making any progress in highschool. Had a girl who asked me out for a week or two and every time we went out I would just walk around with her and never touch her because I was afraid everyone would know about it. Apparently it didn't bother me that people knew that we were going out, just the fact that I was touching her. Eventually she dumped me probably because she thought I wasn't into her and that I only went out with her to avoid outright rejecting her. I actually liked her but couldn't bring myself to tell her. I still feel like if we went out again today that I couldn't bring myself to touch her with any sense of intimacy.
I don't want to be like this.

Now 21 and a handholdless virgin.

Wew

Can relate:
>walk down street with older cousin
>he asks me if I like any girl from my school
>tell him about my crush
>hear someone laughing behind us
>it's a girl from my class, best friend of my crush
>she runs past us towards the building where crush is living
>as we are passing the building both of them are standing at the balcony waving at me, crush is calling my name and smiling like a retard
>"she's mocking me"
>"oh fuck, everyone is going to make fun of me"
>next day in school i'm mortified
>nobody makes fun of me, guess she's saving embarrassing me for latter
>keeps smiling at me the whole day, asks me to promise we'll go home together
>get note passed to me by a girl, "love survey, circle your crushes name", i'm the first person the paper is passed to, but there are already names circled in distinctive pens
>"fuck, they're teasing me"
>she keeps asking me to walk home togheter
>next week her friend stands up just before class and announces to everyone that i have a crush on her
>get pissed as fuck, the bitch has that shit-eating grin on her
>yell out how she wished anyone could like an annoying and vapid bitch like her (i guess you call that autist rage)
>her smile turns upside down, rushes out of classroom
>her family moves during summer break, she changes schools
>a couple years latter we meet again during a sports festival held at her HS
>she tells me about she had this huge crush on me
>tells me she still likes me, invites me to birthday next month
>"oh no, you don't."
>"she's just mad i embarrassed her back then and wants revenge"
>blow her off
to this day i'm not sure if she was just fucking with me and i did good or not.
what are the chances all the girls that showed interest over the years were just fucking with me? logically: probably not all of them. but in my head the chances are 100%

>There is this really fucking cute girl at the house with the most adorable laugh
>I have a fetish for short cute girls
>Doesn't hurt that she's laughing at all of my jokes
>I'm drunk, talkative and the life of the small party (I'm trying to wingman for my best bro because he's a bit overweight and not very confident)
>My ex wanted to fuck me, so fuck it, I can wrangle this cutie, right?
>I can't.
>She leaves with her friend that my friend wanted to bone
>Only people left are me, my friend and the succubus...
>The succubus is this crazy bitch who is the ex of my friend's roommate (roommate is at work)
>Succubus has been on her phone all night waiting to surprise the roommate when he gets home from work
>Find out later he knew she was there and wasn't really at work but actually at a different party
>Now that it's just us, I'm bummed that I didn't get my dick wet and smoking in the garage
>Overhear bro and succubus talking inside
>She's asking about me
>Bro tells her, "Good luck, I've known him for a while and I've never seen him get with any girl."
>Yeah, that's because you almost always invite over stupid annoying sluts to party bro...

This guy is my best friend, but one night he had what he called a "Bill Clinton Party." He called me, told me to come over because he had hot chicks there. When I show up, it's 3 fat chicks that were shotgunning beers in the back yard.

>I hear succubus tell him, "I bet I can fuck him."
>What the hell is going on on this night?
>I head back inside confident in my slut resistance

I forgot to mention, this slut also had her baby at this party. She was 22 and the kid was like around 1. So yeah.

Cont.

Fuck off you neckbeard. Slav countries are not populated by camgirls and prostitutes.

A lot of girls did that to me, even platonic friends, I have a huge ass and they liked to tease me about it.

Well, obviously not entirely populated by whores and camwhores. Fat old baba isn't gonna bring in what she used to.
But hey, someone has to pull the plough, amirite?

>>at small, quiet party
>>girl bitching about her bf who wasn't there
>>dropping fucked up shit to the whole room (apparently he has ed)
>>pissing me off
>>tell her if he's so shit, she should just fuck me
>>she's into it
>>start making out with her
>>take her off to another room
>>start fingering her and then remember I only hit on her ironically and didn't expect her to go along with it
>>realise it's not funny anymore and there's nobody around to appreciate how funny I was being
>>leave and go back to my mates
>>they know I'm a fucking weird cunt so just laugh
>>she comes out like 5 minutes later confused as fuck
>>leaves in shame
ITT: Made it

>Slav countries are not populated by camgirls and prostitutes.
When the fuck did I say that? But whatever - no teenage girl has ever shown initiative or behaved horny towards a guy. That never, ever happens.

looks like a minga

U redu je druže. Lažem, sve cure na svijetu se panično boje kurca i žele da budu časne sestre. Nemaju hormona u tim godinama ni sekunde.

>what are the chances all the girls that showed interest over the years were just fucking with me? logically: probably not all of them. but in my head the chances are 100%
>can't trust other people to not hurt your feelings
Can relate. It's a shit feeling once you start yearning for intimacy and you simultaneously reject everyone because they might hurt you.
Sometimes I start thinking it's best to open up and let them fuck with your feelings and let it hurt you as much as they can, because I feel that it can't be worse than the piling regret.

>When I get back, the succubus is offering me drinks and weed
>I'm one step ahead of you, slut
>Friend wants to play King's Cup
>Lolokay
>We start playing
>They're both teaming up, making me drink everything
>Thisiskindofmyfault
>Succubus makes some fucking rule with a king that makes me take a bunch of knife hits
>I'm now extremely fucked up
>Friend goes to bed
>I thought you were my bro?
>Succubus forces herself on me
>Shoves her tongue down my throat
>"Are you going to fuck me?"
>I'm so fucked up and pissed about missing out with the cute girl, I can't really think straight
>"Wait, what about your kid?"
>He's sleeping in his car seat, right next to the couch we're on
>"It's okay, he's asleep..."
>I let her undress me and wrangle my semi-hard johnson inside her
>Loose pussy is loose
>It's so loose and I'm so fucked up and not attracted to her, I can't cum
>Pound in regret for what feels like two hours
>Eventually I get so tired and miserable, I say I'm done and go to smoke
>Come back inside and fall asleep on the small loveseat
>In the morning she is gone (succubi only feed by night)
>She took the rest of the alcohol along with my dignity

I still regret that whole night.