Alone and indoors on another night

bookofpook.neocities.org/TheBookofPook.pdf

basically how i took this was imagine a cool dude, not like fonzie or something just a guy you kind of look up to in social settings you are familiar with. Now start imagining him interacting with people, but mostly how he responds. Now just kind of copy that guy. I dunno its been a while since I read this shit but it really helped me and was suggested by a good friend who is just as aspie as us all.

trying to imagine a cool dude is hard, i think people who are good at social settings have one of two things:

>they are interesting, mainly by having interesting stories .
the most popular coworker i have, always has a story
>they are funny, and can make people laugh. almost always with their stories. but also with the right amount of teasing
the only thing one of my coworkers does, is he makes light fun of other people and he's well liked

i spend all of my time at home, so i don't have stories. it's hard to mimic people tbqh

>Girl I've been in love with for months tells me she doesn't see a future with me and just wants to be friends
>After we've made out and confessed feelings for each other
>She played me and led me on for a long time
>Confused the fuck out of me, killed me emotionally
>Lay in bed tonight and just don't even care, too emotionally drained to give a fuck about anything anymore
I'm so done with trying to get a gf

bump

not mimic homie, you have to imagine a new person, the mix of your self now and your coworker might work. Then respond and play life as if that is your new dungeons and dragons character.

I dont know man about the lack of experience to draw from, I can distinctly remember when I was in your shoes exactly at parties and social get togethers. I was always the hanger on and could never contribute to the conversation outside of riffing on others or my self. Just keep looking for either people you want to hang out with or something you want to spend time doing.

As in I started heading to a local rock climbing gym, not because I am doing anything over v1s but because I think its fun and I think other people who invest time and effort into improvement might be people id like to meet. Its not like I am Chad-ing it up but Im not being bullied(because that doesnt happen after the age of 25 or so)

I actually did that when I was in high school, I tried to pick apart why one of my friends was so damn cool

At least for me, the way I became a normie was to actually become interested in the people I met, like try to figure out how their lives work and what they are made of. I'm actually excited to meet new people because it's possible they could be really interesting. Just food for thought, it's not something you just change by flipping a switch though

Sauce anyone please?

OP i was in the same situation.
Best thing to do is to join a sports club.
Joined a basketball team at 24 and made long lasting friends there.
Downside is they're bigger taller and more athletic than me so they get all the grills.

Aaayo good whitey paying for all the drinks and giving us lifts around town

This is objectively what men want. My goddness.

I'm W european.
There's only 1 black guy in our teams.

30 is too old to change. Welcome to the true misery.

>join climbing gym
>meet new people
>don't be the most boring cunt ever
>???
>friends
Not that hard

funny cause I just got laid Man
pathetic specimen

how their lives work? you mean like all them their goals or hobbies?

i can do that, but don't like it when they ask the question back to me since i don't have good goals or hobbies

#
I've joined a bouldering gym before, since it's the one you don't need friends for and can do alone

i didn't make any friends

>all them their goals
ask* them about* their goals

op seems fucking annoying dont want to help
how the hell are you almost 30 and you havent realised that your social life is lacking

i do realize it, but what can i do

bump
how do i get friends and be funny?

>tfw want a qt3.14 gf who looks like pic related

and think of things to say and not be a loser anymore ;_:

help

Are you me? Or CIA? Though I go out from time to time but mostly to get wasted. Never hooked up.

This is where you lose. Escorts won't help you find gf or fear sex less. It will be a stain on your conscious forever.

Maybe get a personality and stop posting pictures and gifs of women on a Cambodian picture network.

>It will be a stain on your conscious forever.
Well no not really
It does fuck up your sense of value something savage since you realize sex is so useless to women they are able to charge for it and still get it

iktf

>have to go to a demolition site for work for one day to help clean up
>the guys running the machines are having their coffee break
>I have to walk up to them and ask them what they want me to do
>literally the first thing to say to me is "wow, you're quiet"
>don't say anything because idk how to respond to that

I hate myself sometimes

>Maybe get a personality
that's why i'm here

how do i get a personality?

Not quite true. What isn't useless is being respected safe and cherished. Whores do not get that. Sex is a reward they give to a guy maybe but that doesn't mean they do not want it.

>Sex is a reward they give to a guy maybe but that doesn't mean they do not want it.
This could be argued, there is an excess of supply of dick on the dating market so if girls want sex why are there so many unhappy guys looking to hook up?
Why is porn and hookers so prominent in our society?
Why are sex bots being developed?

Sure girls may like and enjoy sex on a biological level but they sure as fuck dont provide enough need and want to satisfy the demand for pussy

Most bars and clubs are filled with dudes, almost every dating site is packed with guys and guys are cat calling girls on the street so i would argue that there is a massive need for girls

Dude you worry way too much about what people think. I have a pretty active social circle, but am still going to see Metallica by myself because everyone else I know is sitting in the stands and I want to be against the stage.

You're what the PUA community calls a "hardcase". I mean i'm not sure what we can do for you, but i do understand how hard it is to do shit alone, even though i have friends etc. Honestly i think your best solution is to find a place with other introverted guys. Here's my solution for you, far from perfect, but i don't think much more can be done right now:

>Start online gaming, preferable something where making friends and teamwork is essential (like world of warcraft, if that's still a thing)
>Hobbies: Spend your time home reading and watching films (if you're just gonna sit at home anyway). Watch old hipsteresq /arthouse film for more credibility. Read for like 30min, brows the net for 30min, repeat
>Consider watching sports. I started watching soccer only like 2 years ago (i'm 25) and it really took to me. Now i can have conversations with jock - type guys that i never cared for before, also gives you a reason to go for a beer with other fans, there are often supporter clubs and such that are friendly and social
>Join some sort of hobby-club, like a film club or something, they expect you to come alone and you'll meet other introvert types

Books and/or sports

Books do nothing for you, they're just low intensity movies.

I'm in the exact same situation as OP, except I'm about to turn 20 years old.

Am I fucked as well?

>find a gf

Oh I've given up on that. I understand that I've lost in life. I'm a loser and I'm gonna cut my losses and just fuck escorts.

>how do i get a personality?
read
read
read
But don't just read, think about it, critically, why is this used, what could've been meant by that and this. It will greatly improve your ability to critically think and give you an insight into the way a mind can work.
Try to keep up at least minimally in touch with what's going on in the world and have an opinion about it.
Get a hobby that will help you improve your knowledge in the field.
A personality is nothing more than opinions and knowledge. It's not a magical voodoo mumbojumbo that some are born with and some not.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Stop being such a Fucking clueless faggot. Are you unable to take initiative on your own? Make decisions?

If you really don't know where to start then here:
A personality is based on a pattern of decisions, interests and attributes. You already have a personality, it's just an incredibly shitty one. Start challenging yourself in various ways. Do a sport, read a book or go out and experience something.
Start being interested in others. Ask questions in a normal amount. Just a simple one, and then let conversation flow from there. Give your own opinion on things, but don't force it down people's throat.
Start thinking of subjects when bored / at random. Watch the news. Ponder over existence. If a subject comes up, which you have heard / thought of before it's much easier to join in on.
Also seriously, it's good you are open to learning, but grow a spine. Make a decision, and show initiative. That's what will make you a man, not some spine less faggot, waiting to be bossed around.

And movies (as well as books) promote ideas. Im not saying you should start reading pride and prejudice or other literature but a good start would be orwels 1984, timur vermes' look who's back and paulo coelhos the alchemist then distance yourself from fiction and go to anything really. Economy, history, diplomacy, psychology and others. At least thats what worked for me and im pretty confident it will work for others. Its to get that first spark of interest in books

>and then let conversation flow from there
that usually doesn't happen. After I interrogate somebody and they interrogate me, conversation usually stalls.

Because you see it as interrogation.
This thread is a bait

Dude it sounds like your failifailing mainly bc you don't even try how do you expect to eat a sandwich if you refuse to open your mouth?

>Im not saying you should start reading pride and prejudice o
Well, if I were to recommend smething romantic, I would go for Wuthering Heights. Much better.
Apart from the good old Orwell, pick up Golding, Lord of the Flies, but mostly, Pincher Martin.
The Stranger by Camus is amazing, so is Tobacco Road by Caldwell.
Amazing work, a tour de force as they say, is Faulkner's "As I Lay Dying", just incredibly engaging and exciting read.
There are so many more great fictional books, jumping into economics and so on would be a shame (as well as a bore).
Tess of DÜrberville by Hardy is great, too.
Recommend taking notes from Mr. Whitman's "Song of Myself". Learn to celebrate yourself, first, acquire a confidence.

>interrogate

Take my advice or dont, your pathetic existence won't affect my daily life at all.
If you do want to live a happier and more social life, then take the advice in this thread. It's literally being handed to you on a platter. You just need to get off your ass.

This OP you're being given tons of good advice here and you're just rejecting it all maybe cognitive behavioral therapy is best for you if even after reading all this you can't get it

you dont miss out on much, trust me.
I used to do a lot of shit with a group of friends but that stuff gets boring really fast.
now Iam 29 and dont go out that often, if I do its to watch a movie (by mself) or visit a friend 1x time per month.

rest of the time I do what I love and thats lifting and playing vidya. just dont try mimic what other people do just because you think its the "right way" to live life.

Do you have a job?

Fake it until you make it son, tell everyone about all the crazy parties youve been too and shit and they'll think you're cool and wanna be around you

i do read, not that much, maybe 5-10 books a year
>have an opinion about it
this is one of my problems, i'm very all or nothing, and either like something or don't, and can't really explain why, or i don't think about why and when people ask me for my opinion, i can't give a good one

>ask questions
to whom? and why would they want to talk to me?

haven't read any of those books, so i might try one

yes i have a job. i'm surrounded by normies. they always have plans with friends, dinner, travel, movies, board games, etc.
it's depressing hearing them have fun, while i go home by myself and browse Veeky Forums

most don't talk to me after they find out i'm socially awkward

make up stories? i'm not a good liar and i don't think i can change suddenly like that (go from, i went to the gym to, i went to a crazy party) in front of coworkers, who are the only people i see regularly

>this is one of my problems, i'm very all or nothing, and either like something or don't, and can't really explain why, or i don't think about why and when people ask me for my opinion, i can't give a good one
You can't thinkg critically.
And you don't want to, it would seem. I recommend reading a book, and then buying a critical analysis fothe book. I know that this helped me a lot. One is all you need, I was having problems with it myself, but now I had to read some critical literature about Golding for by bachelor thesis, and reading it, your brain kinda switches on the ability, as you get to understand it more and in context.
>haven't read any of those books, so i might try one
All those books are interested in characters' psychologies, so that's why I recommended them to you.
By learning to understand others, even if fictional characters, you will also learn more about yourself.

>made me feel worse for being a loser

people aren't losers because they're bad at talking. I'm incredibly quiet, I say stupid things all the time, and I'm always stressing about it later. But people constantly tell me that I'm good with other people. Do you want to know why? Because I'm okay with it and I acknowledge reality. I'm shit at talking and people love it, because I'm not insecure about it.

Do you want to know why people actually are losers? It's because they're living in a fantasy world rather than reality. Think about it: what are the biggest loser things out there? Almost all the time, it's some form of roleplay: LARP, D&D, MMOs, etc. These things aren't necessarily loser-ish, but losers are attracted to them because they want to escape and be somewhere where they're a "better" person. It lets them be a Chad without putting in any effort. Who wouldn't want that?

I'm not here to tell you you're not a loser, because I have no idea if you are or not. What I am going to say is that if you feel like a loser, it's probably because you're trying to live out some fantasy. If you want to stop, don't destroy the fantasy. Just try to get in touch with reality. Get rid of all pre-conceptions about yourself, and try to figure out who "you" is. There's a reason that every single religion promotes humility as part of spirituality, and the emphasis that you know basically nothing. It's because you don't even know who you are. Start by trying to figure out what your favourite thing to do is. Then try to figure out why. Then keep going. Discriminate between good activity (truth, health, charity, etc.) and bad activity (deceit, sloth, greed, etc.). You want something concrete? Start by cleaning your room. Think about how good it feels, and why it feels good. Then just keep rolling.

I believe in you, bro.

holy fucking soruce

>alone and indoors on another night
>haven't had a crew or gone out at night for almost 6 decades
>shy and don't know how to contribute to conversations, always asked why I'm quiet
>waste all my free time in front of a specs sign, remembering my glory days
help Veeky Forums, i don't want to be like this anymore

>tfw soon to be a 75 year old kv-85

Time to fap :)

not OP but what if someone calls me out on a lie because they knew that it wasn't true? or worse has me making a mistake thus proving that I'm lying out of my ass?

you'll effectlively have a worse social standing then before

I'm 28 and have the same >greentext as you.

I still live with parents, everyday I wake up and say right user lets go outside today and do something, or lets go a run outside, swimming, hell just sit in a coffee shop or something and see what's happening. But I never do, even at NY I said all this shit I would do, we're almost at a 1/3rd of the way through the year and i've only been outside a handful of times; not more than 4.

The no friends is really tough. My mom/dad are always saying go to the gym or go join this club or that club, but i never do, i'm too self conscious that they'll laugh at me or some shit.