You get locked up in Prison

How fucker are you?

>You keep your gains
>You can work out 1 hour every day
>According to your ethnic group you can join a gang or no

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>tfw no mulatto gang

I join T-bag's gang of course

>Brown, so can't join any gangs
>Probably be targeted by the white supremacist fucktards
>5'11 160lbs.

yep I'm proper fucked. I guess I would have to shank the first guy that tried anything just to make a good first impression, but I feel like if you aren't gang affiliated in prison you're going to get fucked (literally and figuratively) no matter what.

I'd be torn apart like a garlic naan at a rugby club curry night.

>tfw pretty boy features

>>You keep your gains
cool. consider myself somewhat big and stronk, low chance of becoming currency for big guys then
>>You can work out 1 hour every day
even more frequency than I have now, and depending on area prison food isn't even that bad macro wise, in some places you can even cop whey from the commissionary
>>According to your ethnic group you can join a gang or no
dear god I'm so fucked. are there any pale white gangs who aren't the aryan brotherhood? I'm not to keen on those.

Idl about you but, I would go and get collage education, do heavy compound shit in gym and bodyweight in cell, would trade sweets like muffins and shit that they give you for some extra curry for them proteins

>tfw Latin American of European descent(Argentinian)

Should I join the Norteños or the Aryans?

>Argentinian
>allowed to join Aryans
kek when will they learn

I'm good...I could easily join a white supremacist gang considering my grandfather was an officer in the Waffen-SS and I have his exact name. Plus I've already been arrested 5x so I know how it works in jail and prison is more chill.

Check this page
They have a record of all the prison gangs in America(black, white and hispanic), their tatoos, their ideology, etc.

gangtaskforce.blogspot.mx/?m=1

>get tattoo of "enjoy your AIDS" above your ass

wew lad

>literally all but four of the white ones are outright nazis, klansmen, or at least religious nuts
REEEEEEE

I used to have a schweet chopper when I was younger though, might need to wiggle into the bikers somewhere.

kek when will they learn

I'd probably be fine if I can get in with a white gang. Shouldn't be too hard.

ITT: kids posting about prison assuming it is just like what they saw in the movies
fuck off jabronies

Blond hair, blue eyes, very German features.

Jewish great great great grandpa, so kike last name.

>~notice me Aryan senpai~

Why don't fucking prisons have weight classes?

>Be Argentinean
>Go with Aryans
>Get found out about being Latino
>Aryans hate you and kick you out if you're lucky, if not, they fucking murder you
>Latinos hate you for pretending to be Aryan, they'll most likely try to kill you for being a traitor
Or
>Accept you're not Aryan
>Join Latinos
>Don't piss anyone off
>Get out alive

Depends.
>What am I in for?
>What's my sentence/what prison am I in?
>Do I have access to Ramen?

They do, but it's by how big of a crime you committed.

>"Brown"

Why do poos call themselves this... it brings up bad connnotations...

>fat beaners
>sunglasses
>shoes with laces
>prison

I'll be ok

Your European descent doesn't make you any less latin thirdworlder.

I know, because I'm also an Argentinian of "european descent"

Aryan Brotherhood here I come.

>6'5 245 lbs Serb

I'd be fine

Bro, you're gonna have to worry about getting shanked, not dealing with some spontaneous strong man challenge with the rival gang.

Not sure of my actual race, though at least half white. Asians and hispanics think I'm Asian though. 5'10" 205 lbs.

what kind of cuck mongrel would not know his race

>Jewish
>Slav

I don't know if there are any gangs here in Canada I could join

Maybe some Russian gang or whatever assuming they don't hate us kikes or hohols

>You keep your gains
I'm DYEL-Mode.
>You can work out 1 hour every day
I hate bodyweight exercizes.
>According to your ethnic group you can join a gang or no
I'm mulatto. As far as I know, niggers hate mulattos.

>assuming they don't hate us kikes
lol

>prison break is back
I don't know how to feel

they do

Americans

>Arab
how fucked am I even though my skin is white and I don't share Arab stereotypes

I would probably be pretty popular

>6'0
>230 + pounds
>brown hair /blue eyes
>im like half racist, no problem joining AB
>really good artist so id be giving everyone sick tats

Islam is big in prison so you're fine

Do tell Veeky Forums prison stories, s-sempai

Mexican here
I will enjoy being with my paisas

kek

You mean gangs don't settle their differences with Atlas stones and keg tosses?

>You can work out 1 hour every day
>mfw

>tfw pretty boy
Ahh shit

Why wouldn't I just kill myself instead of living in prison? Prison is for fucking losers.

Well I'm white and 6'1" around 210 and have been lifting consistently for like 5+ years. I live in California so I'd prob have to be some kind of enforcer for peckerwoods or aryan brotherhood or some white supremacist gang.

>6'3 260lbs CHI
Guess I'll join my compadres.

>not becoming the shower room twink

kek, you'd end up with a pencil in your neck from a manlet cholo

6'6", 250. Going to die because I pose as an intimidating threat. Though I used to be a Nazi. Skinheads are fags, but eh.

5'8 200 lbs Guatemalan (I can pass for an Italian/Greek/Arab/White guy)

I can fight and can take a few hits. Not sure how id fare in a gang though...I know most latinos are smaller than me so I have an advantage I guess

...

lmfao. Have you ever seen ants destroy large snakes and other animals? that's what will happen to you.

>>prison break is back

What? New season?

I was
Did a lot of calisthenics
Didn't have to join a gang cause minimum security

>blonde hair
>blue eyes
>German last name
I hope you guys know where I'm going with this.

Honestly it depends where you are, I wasn't in prison but did a few months in jail in MA and the younger white dudes, especially the ganged up ones are who you want to avoid. I was in a cell with a bunch of black dudes and it was pretty cool, we just worked out, talked about the illuminati and ate
Three of us were on steroids when arrested lol
Working out and eating non stop trying to stay big

>White
>Not dyel
>6'2
>Did some nasty shit in my life so not afraid easily and dont back down fast
>3 years taekwondo
>2 years muay thai
>currently boxing (4 months in)
>Got a decent amount of money on my bank account
>Know people

I'll be ok

/this

>Argentina
>white

I've fucked with Neo-Nazis before.

I'd hopefully get lucky that I get thrown into a prison where one of my buddies knows some a guy who's in there.

And for an even better plus, I can give the biggest fuck you to my overtly liberal mother and brother.

Though thinking about it, I'd really need to work hard to not be the smallest guy there.

It's a rather shit list. In Maryland we have the Russian mafia as a rather large player. But they keep a much smaller profile then the white supremacist gangs because they're made up of associates and vor who were connected before prison. But because of those outside connections being so powerful they basically just use white supremacist gangs or DMI to handle their business. But they do have some hang around who met them in prison.

But prison is a weird place. White supremacists are usually good terms with Hispanics and in Texas the aryan brotherhood even has Hispanics. In Maryland it isn't that way and no Hispanics in the AB. But we have ms13 and sometimes get some Latin Kings who are friendly with whites and not blacks. We have a few mob members and they're basically the same as the Russian mafia. Have one guy who was a convicted hit man for the mafia and they attribute over 100 bodies to him. They're usually the friendliest inmates. No one fucks with them, they're polite to staff and because of their connections they never worry about anything. The Russians always call prison a vacation.

>talking with mafia hitman
>ask about the attributed 100+ bodies
>except the usual shit about I'm innocent or I've changed
>he smiles and laughs
>says he was a professional problem solver

Truthfully I doubt he killed that many. Usually what happens with them is one gets a life charge so he takes other murders to take pressure or stop investigations into other murders. Still weird to think the most well behaved inmate killed for a living.


So yeah you have other options that aren't listed.

>tfw Latino so I'd be forced to join the Sureños or some gay ass bullshit
>tfw despite my ethnic background, I'm a Trump supporting /pol/ack
>tfw I'd probably fit in better with the Aryan Brotherhood because of that, except for the fact that I'm not even white

>How fucker are you?
pretty fuckin' fucker

all depends on level could run that shit on a chicken shit yard like a 1or 2, keep to myself on 3-5. i was there to kill my number not anyone elses

>stay in cell
>become a priest
>be local holy man giving last rights and confessionals to inmates
>work on body with calisthenics

No one hurts the priest.

I'm a skinny white mexican dude.
I'm fucked, yes Inb4 white hur durr I actually have blue eyes and everything.

Just a useful utility guy, like the autistic engineer who fixes stuff.
>You become hot property where nobody messes with you cause your to valuable to all

I.e Schofield

>join the muslims

Would probably be fine.

Huh, interesting. Thanks for the elaborate post, good read and info. I second the well behaved killer thing though, friend's father worked for the Camorra (am born and raised Italian) and he was the nicest fake-uncle you could ever have, despite having 30+ confirmed kills when he got arrested.

prison sucks, but its a fucking piece of piss
>oooohmygawd user, i couldnt do time
yes you could

fucking dickhead

If i ever went down i'd demand solitary desu

If they wouldn't give me it i'd wait for my cellmate to sleep, cut his throat and tell the screws this will happen until i get my solitary

We can team up, call ourselves the Crimson Pussies, breakout and steal the most valuable cubit zirconium in the world brate.

"no"

You get solitary by being a wind up merchant to the guards and governer.

>be norwegian
>get full health (mental and physical) treatment
>can study as much as i want, even work
>get paid so i have money saved up when i come out
>dont have to join a gang or beat people up because i dont live in a fucking third world country you amerifags

I served seven years and did fine. First two months of me being there I didn't do shit except talk to one person, at my prison they let you stay in the rec yard from sun up to sun down basically. They had a HUGE weight pile with almost everything you can think of except free weights. After about two months a big ass member of Dead Man Inc. told me that he'd help me get huge but he said if I do end up getting huge I have to join Dead Man Inc, so I did and after about two months I was initiated.
So I did pretty well in prison, I got a shit load of stories if anyone wants to hear them.

>a HUGE weight pile with almost everything you can think of except free weights
explain

What did you do? What prison were you at? Ever seen someone get shanked?

Breivik pls go

gimme a few stories, sounds interesting and I'm bored. feel free to include some details about how you got huge,

>ramen eater
>What am I in for?

I'm guessing posession of cheese pizza.

You're fucked, mate. Everyone will reject you. Almost everyone will actively try to kill you in the most painful way. Hang yourself by your shoelaces as soon as you can, your life is over anyway.

Even if you do make it out, you'll be outcast, threatened and assaulted. Possibly killed. You won't be able to get a job or rent a place because no one wants to deal with a pedo. It's a witch hunt.

I don't really know what to explain, only really machines and benches with the barbell attached to a rack so no one can walk away from the bench with it, there were pull up bars and dip bars for the cali freaks, but I only stuck to weight lifting when in the yard, and cali while in lockdown.
Possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute, and assault on a peace officer. I copped a plea deal and only got 7 years of lockup and 6 years of probation. I was 17 at the time but they charged me as an adult due to the assault on a peace officer.
I was at Polk E. Correctional Facility in Florida, it was an alright prison but constant fightings, and I have seen someone get stabbed on the rec yard. I heard it was because he lost money gambling and refused to pay it up.

ah I see, makes sense. can't have tyrone beat jamal with 3pl8 to the head lmao

Tfw Swede

I'm gonna have it better on the inside than on the outside.

Didn't see your reply, I got a story about my first fight. My first fight was about 3 or 4 weeks into me arriving at the prison, I wasn't exactly skinny because I did the occasional push-ups and sit ups before I got locked up, so I wasn't a complete loss. What happened was I called a phone check (Pretty much telling another guy to get off the phone) on a guy who's been on the phone for about a full hour. He ignored me so I hung up the phone for him, then just as quick as I did that he dropped the phone and stuck me in my face, then I started swinging back and got this guy on his ass and started beating him while he was down, I spent a good minute of me just beating this guy until the guards got enough backup to rush in and pepper spray me.
Getting huge was actually easy, considering you could be on the rec yard all day except when they do counts, when I first started I mainly did preacher curls (30lb) and I would do 5 sets of 15 reps in about 45 minutes max. Getting swole is easy when you practically spend years in an outside gym.

me and your for now.

funnt, dreamt i was in prison last night

>tfw 5'5 wide hips

good thing I don't live in america

kekked hard

Pics, pics of ass too

I want to fertilize your boipussy

thanks senpai, just what I was looking for. never been in big boy prison, just a bit of juvie, but I love to hear such stories.

>babyface white boy
>5'8"
>but strong as fuck and can chimp out better than any negro ever could
>bi, mostly dominant
Probably just hang out with docile folk trying to do time and leave. Guarantee I'd have first dibs on a small dude because I'm like a big brother to guys who are too scared for their own good.

Feels good man

Fucked. I'm too pretty

>2017
>not knowing ramen noodles are the new prison currency of choice in america

lol you're so fucked

>5' 8''
>first dibs on the small dude
When will they learn?

6'1, 170 with a juicy ass
My gym buddies have even joked about how badly I'd get destroyed in prison.

tfw skinny white manlet that will get raped by Tyrone

From your shitty spelling im guessing you got arseraped pretty hard in your 'dream'

>5'6 asian guy
I don't think i'll shower