That first dump of the day

She's an ex for a reason user. Stay away.

tfw constipated and literally shitposting this morning

>have sex

Are there any substitute exercises I can do instead? My gym doesn't have a sex rack.

Drop the soap in the gym shower, that will solve it

>pulling out

gay

>locking out on a deadlift PR

Not that op. But I needed to hear this. I miss all the sex, but I couldn't stand her personality. She's trash on everything I believed in whether she realized it or not. And it was hard to have any friends while dating her. Before this last breakup, she threatened to break up with me if I didn't let her go through my phone. Fuck that.

Youre on the right path
Ive had exes ive missed just because of the sex but think of all the bad times and the price you had to pay to get it
Ive been there too where i had to put encryption on my computer, delete my facebook and buy a new phone with fingerprint ID just because she was checking out my phone if i left em and any contact i made she questioned and got jelly about

Youre better off alone than selling out, friend

>having a wank when you come home from the gym
Gives me motivation to go these days

>Bjs IMO are highly overrated
confirmed for never having your dick sucked by a cock loving trap

Sex is just sex my dude. There's a million women out there, and they all have vaginas. So it's not like you'll never find someone else you enjoy having sex with. My personal belief is, if you find a woman whose only redeeming quality is her vagina, you need a new woman.

In the end, I'd rather be alone than with crazy.

Having sex and cumming inside her.

>she threatened to break up with me if I didn't let her go through my phone

If anyone ever does this to you, pack your shit and leave. Ultimatums are not how relationships are made healthy.

It more helps develop your core.

>the massive lack of females on the dating market

ur fucking crazy mate

How is this crazy?
Ive met maybe 1-2 girls who were single during my four years in uni, lifting,working and had a job on the side but the options are just not there

A tiny bit of blood is on the toilet paper whenever I wipe

like, a TINY bit

should i see a doctor? i have semi-frequent anal sex, could that be the cause?

>tfw had itchy asshole all day but couldn't find chance to really scratch it properly.
>tfw you finally get to a bathroom and go to town rubbing your asshole almost raw with rough toilet paper

Better than a good dump imotbhm8y

>1500 cal cut
>eat a lot of chicken
>like, a lot of chicken
>poop maybe once every 4 days
>poop is normal experience

Idk I think I broke my ass guys

if it's bright red fresh looking then actually that's a good sign because it's not coming from inside and high likely you just tore your asshole.

You need to eat vegetables. You are also eating too much protein. Enjoy your colon cancer.

>too much protonz

You fucking liar, no such thing!

You're right though, I've stopped eating split peas and lentils because it takes like an hour to make a bowl of that, meanwhile I can make fucking delicious baked chicken tacos in 10 minutes.

Baked chicken taco recipe plz

>overate on broccoli and spinach
>had to shit at 5 AM
>another one at 7 AM
>next one at 1 PM

How much shit can there possibly in one person? I was seriously worried that my toilet couldn't handle all that stuff.

It's so easy user.

>buy bag of frozen chikky
>I get a good price at the local grocery store so I get like 15-20 lb
>divide it all up into bags
>one in the fridge, rest in the freezer
>before the fridge bag is eaten, take one from the freezer so it thaws around the time you knock out fridge bag

>aight taco time

>take a breast or two, I usually go for like 8-13 grams
>I also use a nuwave oven. Get one, they're fucking amazing. Or some other brand that's just like it
>lay breasts on rack
>hit one side with a good bit of garlic pepper, and a light dash of cayenne
>bake at 350 for 10 min
>don't forget to warm up your tortillas. I'm talking the white corn ones, not flour. If you use them cold white corn ones break apart
>cut the breasts in half, one half for each tortilla
>enjoy not being hungry for a good while

>Smoke a bowl.
>Strap 30+% of bodyweight wrist/ankles
>Calisthenics & muscle ups
>Smoke a bowl
>Moar muscle ups
>Smoke a bowl
>Take off weights
>Have sex till failure
Have fun breaking someone's hips.

Thank you user. I've been eating garbage for the past few days and I needed something not completely terrible but easy to make to try out.

I just can't stop eating garbage. The closest place to my workplace is McDonalds, so I've been eating that everyday for like two weeks. I hate myself.

^this
>Took major greasy shit one time and had to wipe 20 times to get it off.
>Last wipe toilet paper covered in blood. Im talking 25yr old woman heavy flow covered
>freak out and go to doctor
>My ass bleeds doc
>You tore a hemorroid wiping so hard user
>But i dont have hemorroids
>Everyone does. Most are tiny
>PrepH and ur good to go

Blood in ur poop itself means u have something bad tho

I know the struggle user, my weekness is waffles drowning in peanut butter and pecans. Fucking heaven.

But you gotta be strong. Realize how much dosh you save by cooking. Realize how much better the world treats you when you're not a fat ass.

We all stumble, just gotta get up and keep going

Also meant oz, not grande earlier

>benis

tfw forgot to drink enough water so the dump is a sticky mess

fat and gross

>what is tinder
>what is red pill
>what is going out and socializing

Because nobody else is here for the weekend, Im having extra broccoli with my curry and going commando (under sweatpants) and doing Stretches on all the furniture whilst farting. The farts feel and sound like when you deflate a brown bag. Upstairs smells all musty and humid.

>take a small dump in the morning
>have some eggs and oatz with some coffee for breakfast
>go to the gym
>do some warm-up squats
>belly starts rumbling
>OH BOY, HERE COMES ROUND 2

I'm sorry OP, but nothing feels better than round 2 when you had a weak first dump.