Hey user, my butt feels really tight. Can you feel it for me?

>one working set

>doing preacher curls
>4/5 cardio bunny using a bench like 2 feet away from me
>doing somekind of idiotic ass stretch dip variation
>pop a boner and push out a extra set

Yeah, that's why I'm here. Like wtf was a I supposed to do?

>asked to spot a 5/10 chinese girl on squat
>in the middle of it, inexplicably get a 3/4 chub going
>nowhere to hide

She's not even that hot but I love dumpy asian nerd girls so it did something for me. What's worse is that my balls kinda pop out towards the front rather that between my legs so my dong sits on top of them point outward rather than down.

Did I mention I was standing? Because I was. After she finished up, there was nothing I could do. I just stood there and kept talking like I wasn't pointing a fucking love missile at her and she didn't mention it.

>What's worse is that my balls kinda pop out towards the front rather that between my legs so my dong sits on top of them point outward rather than down.

what did he mean by this

Pretty sure he was just waiting for you to get off the bench so he could get his sets in

>Doing preacher curls
>Both bicep tendons snap simultaneously

Preacher curls. Not even once.

lmao 1 working set

Basically the arrangement in my pants made for a half chub plated to look like a full on pocket rocket in my gym shorts that I couldn't tuck away.

Spotted my friend's sister squats

I have never had a harder boner in my life

yeah i fear that everytime i do leg press

*prrrraaaap*

I fucked a cute 7/10 cardiobunny's ass in the showers after our workout.

She wanted help finding her way around and I talked my way in from there. Took a week.

Yall are fuckin nolifting faglords.

...

*BRAAP* *BRAAP* *BRAAP* *TOOT* *SPLORCH*

>me doing seated curls right behind her

>what's the most erotic thing that's ever happened to you at the gym?

I was doing skullcrushers on one of the dumbbell benches, some bitch in booty shorts walked over to the one right next to me and started doing weighted glute bridges with her pussy facing towards me

definitely popped a semi

Talk to her you autistic fuck. Jesus Christ, I mean, my social skills are bad half the time, but I managed to get married, holy hell.

So...any other dude realize that they were subconsciously humping the air in time with her squats?
Anyone?
Just me?
Okay.

how do i get a qt gf to marry me

>my social skills are bad
>I managed to get married

Whatever you say you fucking norman

Fucked an employee in the pool supply closet.

>not that impressive because im also an employee

>What's worse is that my balls kinda pop out towards the front rather that between my legs so my dong sits on top of them point outward rather than down.
My user jr does this too. Can't tell whether its a genetic positioning thing, or just because I don't live in a hot climate.

I'd love to but how do you even act on that?
>ey bby gurl seen you shakin dat ass now how bout you clap dem cheeks for me some more

Besides, I'm DYEL as fuck there's tons of guys there who looks way better than me so it's unlikely.

Not erotic, but I can't tell if this girl was mirin.
>squatting
>qt and bf come up behind me
>they use the cable machine
>notice every time its his turn she's looking at me

>at uni gym last summer
>small asian girls asks me to spot her for squats
>unsure if she actually understands what spotting a squat entails
>she gets stuck in the hole and I just stand there
>eventually help her dump the bar onto the guard rails and walk away

But he's got a point, what would he say?

he probably married a fatty though.

Girl from uni program approached me during a bar night after finals we talk and whatever she seems cool. I see her at the campus gym next week, she kept purposely bending over right in front of me to pick up Dumbbells brehs hold me

>be homo
>there's at least one extremely attractive muscular man in the gym every time I go
>try my best not to stare but they're always 10/10 chads

Also one of them is always super nice to me but I am too autismo to tell if he's just being friendly or flirting

>cleaning the machine with her ass
now that's just unsanitary

>can you feel it for me?
Sure, where did you leave it?

This happens to me as well. Especially annoying when I want to do any kind of ab work.

I kind of assumed it was because my legs are thicker than average. Maybe my donger is just smoll

>wut butt anonette?

I fucking hate you if this is real

There is a guy and girl at my gym that always lift together, I'm not sure if they are a couple or what, but I catch either one of them looking at me all the god damn time.

The dude looks pretty similar to me, only with about 2 more years of lifts under his belt.

Back to the Future 3 way maybe?

ANYTHING! LITERALLY ANYTHING IS BETTER!
If the user said, "I like a feminine penis on my girls"
I would have had more respect for him than him just being scared and quiet.
But realistically "Hey you are cute, want to exchange numbers and meet up sometime?" for you autistic fucks.
It's not about "how do I charm the grill" when she is literally making it easy for you.
BE a fucking adult, and say what you want to say "You are interested in them, they look nice, you would like to meet them and talk to them on the weekend or something"

THERE DONE, was that so fucking hard?

where's the collage of these posts? I feel like I haven't updated mine yet

had a qt in tight yoga shorts put her mat right in front of me while I was foam rolling.

she did lots of risque moves, like opening and closing her legs, getting into a frog pose.

i auted out of there

Maybe I'm ugly but no girl would repond to that if I said it

>muh muh maybe
>buh buh wah wah *baby crying noises*
I DONT GIVE A SHIT! BE A MAN!
Go and put yourself out in the world.
If you get fucking rejected then fine, you can live with that.
But being this special princess that thinks nobody in the world should reject them ever and so you should never talk to people, so you can avoid feeling bad.
GROW UP, just how fucking childish and retarded are you?
>BUT MOOOM, what if everybody doesn't find me amazing and smart and good looking....
>I..I will just stay in my room because the though of facing reality just hurts my sensitive feelings too much.

You sound like a massive fag that enjoys having his head up his ass

Hell yeah come here baby

>after workout in sauna
>mostly empty
>guy with glasses infront of me, middle aged but not bad looking
>i sit on towel not covering my D
>he sits with a small towel on top of his D
>notice his towel rising slowly
>get half chub cuz of the excitement and adrenaline
>keep my composure
>im a greek statue
>he spaghettis out of there like the beta he is
>mfw

itt fags making shit up

i know that experience

one time I saw an average girls sweaty minge behind her walmart yoga pants

>your definition of a made up story

>Y-you too...

>nothing ever happened

one woman told me to "get out of the way"

...

>>ey bby gurl seen you shakin dat ass now how bout you clap dem cheeks for me some more

Holy mother of kek

I fucking love you Veeky Forums

>pocket rocket
Heh i kek'd a little

Thats you in two years mate. The qt will be yours soon.

...

>What do!?
nothing cus i dont want to charged for an sexual assault

>ey bby gurl seen you shakin dat ass now how bout you clap dem cheeks for me some more
thats the most nikker thing i heard today

fuck those bitches. If they want to talk with you they should approach you themselves

>added 5 reps to a rep max because of a girl

how weak are you exactly

...

>1 working set

Wtf fag

Very weak but I was doing a high rep ab excercise

What's a good substitute? I know a guy who got some juicy fucking arms from preacher curls

...

>What do!?
Just gently feel her ass. It's nothing over the top, I mean. Unless you're a social cripple.

>Also, what's the most erotic thing that's ever happened to you at the gym?
Full on grabbing a girl's ass in both my hands from behind and biting her in the neck, and then breathing some nonsense into her ear.
I don't know what stepped into me, but she was wearing grey yoga pants on that day, and her ass was EXTRA bubbly.
We fucked two weeks after that.
Then I went to college.

I have never seen a qt in my gym.
We have a leprechaun working there now though. I feel sorry for the guy. can't be more than 4'10

Starting with "hello" usually works you fucking imbecile.

Incline curls

Im pretty pussy so but good looking enough that girls mire sometimes.

>be on stairmaster
>asian girl with super nice ass keeps checking me out
>she is with bf or brother asian dude looks autistic
>when he is working she glances at me and keeps flipping shirt uo to show ass
>starts doing deep stretches and squats facing me
>wearing tight underwear
>no fap for 2 days
>precum on pants
>my swiggidy is engaged from preworkout
>have to clean up in locker room

Thick thighs leave no gap for balls to rest in.

I usually find "how's it going" is a nice way into conversation. Seems friendly enough and gives room for the other person to direct the conversation towards something they have an interest in so you don't come off as a spastic rambling on about whatever autistic thing is stuck in your head. Even if they say "not so bad, how about you" you can still turn it around with "just getting this done so I can go do..." and they usually have something to say about whatever your doing next.

I'm fucking socially broken and can have conversations with people, how fucking pathetic are you that you can't make a half assed attempt to open a dialogue.

And that kids is what they call "Daddy your pole is so long and strong" pose.

I had a gold star lesbian friend in grad school that introduced me to strongman and oly lifting.
She'd design my programming and started feeling up my ass, traps, and shoulders as I got bigger.

My wife was strangely okay wish this because lesby friends was like an anime sister to me.

The only reason anyone's a gold star anything is because they're insecure about their sexuality, just sayin. She's probably dft.

sounds hot, greentext it in utmost detail.

Maybe. But at a certain point it became her identity, social ruin to admit that shes kinda bi.

he's right. You're afraid to live. Think of it this way, on your deathbed, would you regret taking action and suffering embarrassing consequences, or not taking any action at all? It doesn't matter, as long as you put in effort, the result is meaningless. At least you did something. No matter how stupid it is.

>What's worse is that my balls kinda pop out towards the front rather that between my legs so my dong sits on top of them point outward rather than down
So there are more of us. I was like this before I got big legs too. I think it's because my balls connect higher up on the shaft than normal.
What's worse is that my dick shrinks when exercising and it won't stay to one side, so if I wear loose-ish underwear it pokes forwards like a tiny light switch

Do your boners point straight up too? I haven't tried it but reverse cowgirl would be impossible for me.

get a meat tenderizer and start smashing her ass with it

today on things that will never ever happen

Anybody else get a huge feeling of sexual tension when you get into the ab room/yoga room?

Whenever i do abs i always see camel toe.

Most erotic thing to happen to me was kinda gay.

>working out on lat pulldown
>weird lanky kid keeps eyeing me
>strikes up conversation (apparently he went to the same school as me)
>5 minutes later i feel him rubbing my shoulders during a set
>slam the weights and ask him "wtf bro"
>winks at me and walks away

Learned from my friends that he would do this homo shit whenever he felt intimidated by somebody's gains.

I'm accepting any ideas of how i could fuck with him during his workout.

At 10am after a 7pm-7am night shift at my minesite gym I had a 5ft, thicc kardashian clone doing some ridiculous instahoe booty circuit. Then she called over the 6ft bi suicide girl looking electrician who was putting together treadmills and they proceeded to measure each other's tits and asses in front of the mirrors. Gym sesh went twice as long that day. Later heard they had an orgy on r&r the week before

> I'm accepting any ideas of how i could fuck with him during his workout.
You should fuck him, user. Not fuck with him.
That would be real revenge.

minutes later i feel him rubbing my shoulders during a set

put your ding dong in his bing bang

my sides

What's a gold star?

>tfw no one hot goes to your gym
I wish I lived in a city

He's not intimidated by your gains, he's attracted to them dummy.

Ask him to spot you while squatting and when he pops a chub confront him. Tell him that you're ashamed of him and that all he's good for is being a fuck-toy, then you can have him suck you off in the weight room to show your dominance.