Veeky Forums learns about female birth control

It's come to my attention that a lot of you don't know anything about this shit, so here's an info dump.

WHY THE FUCK SHOULD YOU CARE?
The more you know about this shit, the more you can protect yourself. Gaybros excused.

HORMONAL OPTIONS
1. IUD. You shove a plastic T into the uterus. It scrapes it up inside and releases estrogen and progestin constantly so the woman's body always thinks it's already pregnant. This means she doesn't ovulate. No eggs, no baby.

2. Pills. This is the most common one. Women take these pills every day (If you stay with a woman for 24 hours and she says she's on the pill, she'll take it at least once while you're with her, sometimes women set an alarm to remind them). These also trick the woman's body into thinking they're pregnant. However, if a girl misses her pill even once there's a chance you can knock her up, so you have to be absolutely sure she's responsible enough to remember. (Also women on the pill don't need to have periods. When they do, it's because one week of the pills is placebo-pills. I shit you not.)

3. Implants. Take a stick of plastic, soak it in the same chemicals as the IUD up there, then inject it under the skin of the upper arm. You can see and feel them from the outside. These work the same way as the others.

NOTES ON HORMONAL BIRTH CONTROL
1. Most women in developed countries start hormonal birth control around the time they hit puberty. Most to prevent pregnancy, but hormonal birth control is also used to treat things like endometriosis (where uterine tissue grows outside the uterus and on other organs). With puberty ages dropping, this means that most 20 year olds you meet have been on birth control at least once and possible for more than 5 years and counting.

2. Being on hormonal birth control affects mate choice. Women who are on birth control prefer the smell of men whose major histocompatibility complex genes are similar to their own, women who are NOT prefer men who smell differently (in nature, this preference prevents accidental incest). There have even been cases of people getting divorced when the woman went off BC to get pregnant because as soon as she got off the woman was no longer attracted to her husband. (There are a lot of other side effects too, but they mostly affect just the woman herself.)

MECHANICAL OPTIONS
1. You shove a copper wire up into the uterus so that it bounces around all the time and scrapes up her insides so that no eggs can implant. No implanted eggs, no baby. Has to be replaced every few years.

2. You know when you stretch out a spring and then it shrinks back and it can pinch the shit out of your finger? Take two small springs, keep them stretched out, then shove them into her Fallopian tubes and let them contract. It pinches the shit out of them and forces scar tissue to grow so no eggs can escape. The woman is now sterile.

3. Cut parts off. Cut the tubes, take them out, remove the uterus. Sterile forever.

There we go. Any questions?

Tits or GTFO

See, this is a topic you aren't gonna have to worry about, friendo.

>trusting something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die

v a s e c t o m y b o i s

You forgot Mountain Dew. Doesn't the food coloring int MtnDew kill eggs/sperm?

WTF does any of this have to do with being a sicc kunt?

...

This
Mountain Dew Code Red is my GF's main form of birthcontrol

We have mental health threads. Why not sexual health threads too?

Good idea. It puts the power in your hands and it's easy enough to reverse or do IVF if you ever change your mind.

>Why not sexual health threads too?
Those are posted almost every day. Usually full of posts about jerking off and jelqing

Which is why I was doing this one so people can learn about what their potential partners are doing behind the scenes and make informed decisions. The smell thing, for example, is huge, and should be considered when getting into a long-term relationship or marriage.

Just a tip for anyone who is or has a vegetarian/vegan girlfriend: please don't let them take birth control pills.

I was an idiot and took them while I was vegetarian, ended up with me going to the ER and almost dying. I now have blood work every month for the next year to make sure everything is okay and stable.

Even though I'm back to eating meat, etc. I still have difficulties with being back to where I was prior to taking the pills. It's been a little over five months since I stopped and I'm still significantly weaker (physically and mentally), have frequent headaches, sexual dysfunctions (not having orgasms anywhere near as good as before), weight gain that has been a bitch to get rid off, severe mood problems during periods, and haven't had periods go back to their old cycles before (every three months instead of every month).

Please think carefully about getting someone on birth control and if you're both ready for the rollar coaster it may involve. My boyfriend is a saint and has been through all of this, but we both agree 100% that things would have been better to avoid the pills altogether.

Vegans deserve death

Never heard of this one before, thanks for the heads up.

the female body is repulsive and i refuse to read this or learn anything about these "cycles"

IUDs are the best. Quickest return to fertility once removed, highest rate of fertility as well. No artificial hormones for many of them. No pills to remember. No periods. Bareback every time so you can actually feel him cum inside you. Less expensive over the course of the life of the unit than the pill when averaged out. It is so clearly the best option on the market IMO.

I already said gaybros were excused. Get back to lifting so you can find your dream trap faster.

I wish more men would do this. I'm not fucking gaining weight and breaking out by face just because you don't want to feel a piece of rubber around you dick.

Wait they give you four weeks of pills with the last week being placebos?
My girlfriend is only given three weeks worth of pills and was told not to have unprotected sex during the fourth week while on her period.
Is this not normal?

Why do meat eaters always act so insufferable?

>1. IUD. You shove a plastic T into the uterus. It scrapes it up inside and releases estrogen and progestin constantly so the woman's body always thinks it's already pregnant. This means she doesn't ovulate. No eggs, no baby.

Depends which one you get. I have the non hormone one and still ovulate but it doesnt stick on the walls. Plus its 10 years of protection

Get IUD. Best of both worlds. My bf took me to get mine, and we split the cost. It hurt a little but we were back to sex within a few days. And, let's be honest fellow femanon, a rubber encased dick never feels as good as the real thing. Plus don't you love being able to feel the cum?

What does being vegetarian have to do with it?

Nah. It's the rubber or no sex. Why are we always the ones expected to sacrifice?

You either get three weeks of pills and a week off, or four weeks which include a placebo week. (It was originally started because it saved insurance companies money and because people thought it was more "natural" to have what is essentially a fake period. The women still bleed, but not for the reasons a woman off hormones would.)

Insurance companies don't usually cover the fourth week, but there's no medical reason to even have that week. If your girlfriend can just get her next month a week early and skip placebo week then there will be no negative consequences.

Oh don't get me wrong; before my IUD or if it's my first few times with a guy, condom, no ifs ands or buts about it.

And yes, we have to deal with more shit, but we also call the shots. Quid pro quo.

Ah, okay. Thanks for clearing that up, user!

How about man up and use a fucking condom

>feel him cum inside you
nice Froidian slip you cookie cutter

maybe not mountain dew, but I heard zero calorie monster does this

It's an urban legend, m8. No basis in fact that it lowers your sperm count, and it does nothing to eggs at all.

don't date a girl that dose any of these .
1 they act pregnant but are not , they suffer.
2 when they suffer because hur dur hormones are false balance must achieve homo stasis = impossible= get the fuck away from me I will kill you !!!111!!!!
real girls want babies , real men want babies.
be real.
don't do drugs , don't kill kids.

>You shove a plastic T into the uterus. It scrapes it up inside and releases estrogen and progestin constantly so the woman's body always thinks it's already pregnant
That sounds atrocious familia
Penis is the superior functioning genital

>tfw been using the pull out method for 6 years with 5 different girls having sex almost every day
>no pregnancy scares no nothing
Feels good to be able to just pull your dick out before filling her mouth with cum.
My current gf is on the pill so I'm just cumming inside her, breddy gud too
I suspect I'm sterile tho, I was on chemo like 7 years ago for one and a half years, that shit probably killed my balls

Yeah. Imagine having a doctor shove a plastic toothpick up your dickhole.

Birth control messes with the amount of vitamins your body intakes; vegetarians obviously miss out but even with tablets of vitamins, they just aren't enough.

My biggest issue was lack of vitamin b12 and lead me to have a low blood platelet count (supposed to be 150-450, mine was 30) meaning my blood doesn't clot that well and a simple cut or bruise could've ended with me bleeding out to death. Was put on 10xs the usual amount of prescribed steroids (usually 4 mg, I had 40mg, forget the specific name of them) and am being monitored for the next year to see if I need to take more or if my body has accepted them and stabilized. The pills made my body attack the bone marrow, where platelets are made, so I may be permanently fucked for life.

>Why are we always the ones expected to sacrifice?
Oh to live such an oblivious existence.
>but we also call the shots
Sure you do, honey, sure you do.

So just so I understand what the pill does, a white woman on the pill will be all things equal more attracted to a white man over a black man due to similarity in genes?

I am afraid of IUD, the idea of that thing scraping up my insides is not cool... Haven't been on pills for like a years now either, just cus I don't need it.

Has nothing to do with race, it has to do with a specific set of genes that relate to your immune system, so every dude from every race has a different combination of the same set. So it depends on how similar those genes are to her own family.

you forgot the depo shot.

>tfw been using the "no seatbelt while driving real dangerously" method for 6 years with 5 different cars driving almost every day
>no accident scare no nothing

literally you, you fucking idiot.

oh fuck I forgot about that one.

HORMONAL: DEPO SHOT
A big injection of progestin that lasts three months. Runs out after you stop taking the shots.

Ok, and how true is the meme about bith control pills speeding up physical development in teenage girls?

>Birth control messes with the amount of vitamins your body intakes; vegetarians obviously miss out but even with tablets of vitamins, they just aren't enough.

Sounds like your particular diet was bad but that doesn't make sense either. A vitamin B12 tablet that contains 5000mcg of B12 isn't enough 3-12mcg from meat is enough?

Pulling out is as effetive as condoms preventing pregnancy
>inb4 hurr durr it's not true
It is, all the precum can make you pregg meme is based on ONE badly done study

The things about breast size and weight gain are absolutely true because estrogen (in this case xenoestrogens because her own body didn't make them) makes breasts grow and promotes fat gain.

Not getting into an accident is as effective as not driving a car preventing injury and death
>inb4 hurr durr it's not true

Listen you little shit, I don't care what you do with your life, but someone as dense as you shouldn't be having kids so take this advice: all you need is ONE (1) [uno] time to not pull out in time and you're fucked, but if you wore a condom you'd have nothing to fear, same for seatbelts and accidents.

Also, any of these women could have given you an STD without a condom and you'd go around spreading it to others because you refuse to use basic precautions.

>literally no counterarguments: the post
Why do you even try

Option 4)

Don't ever fucking believe a girl when she says she's on BC. Always operate that she's not.

Always.

Unless you're actively trying for a baby, never ever ever ever finish inside.

Sweetie, when someone says "the moon is made of cheese" there's no point trying to give them counterarguments. A) they didn't provide an argument themselves, and B) they're delusional and arguing with them is pointless.

>had period at age 11
nothing to do with the birth control just your genetics

>: all you need is ONE (1) [uno] time to not pull out in time and you're fucked
That's not true, getting a girl pregnant is actually pretty hard, the egg is only good for one day a month to be fertilized, then it disintegrates

Wow, more shitposts. I didn't know what I expected, honestly.

You can't refute that men whinging about condoms is as true as the sky being blue, so you endlessly deflect.

Because a certain lobby does its best to shut down male birth control research.

Women are emotionally-driven creatures who don't respond to reasoned debate, so there's no point in even trying.

> inb4 emotional denials

lol get rekt son

Nah.

Your existence is an argument in favor of eugenics btw.

Do you really think you're that lucky?

That's not even accurate though. Testosterone is a big part of what makes people emotional. It's also part of why guys can't cry as easily as girls, the other part being the different eyeducts.

Is this a lobby, with which a person might... Lose?

>ctrl-f 'diaphragm'
>No matches

There is reversible birth control that doesn't make women nutty sad sacks who want to marry their cousins like the pill, minipill, ring, patch, or implant; doesn't destroy their sex drive like the hormonal IUD; doesn't give them two-week-long periods like the nonhormonal IUD; doesn't carry the risk of uterine perforation like both IUDs and isn't a crinkly embarassment like the female condom... and it's the least popular form of birth control on the market. That's fucking ridiculous.

>trusting women to take care of birth control

yea na condom

I've heard, like the cup, that some women aren't comfortable putting it up there and having it sit, same with nuvaring.

t-7 years until this user is on /pol/ bitching about how unfair it is he has to pay child support.

>wife has copper IUD
>get sex like 3 times a week
>cum inside every time
>feels good man

Howndid you get from
> using a condom
To
> bitching about child support

Isn't constantly being on birth control pretty fucked up if you think about it?
>>You shove a plastic T into the uterus. It scrapes it up inside and releases estrogen and progestin constantly so the woman's body always thinks it's already pregnant
How does that not fuck up your body in the long run? There's no way the body is meant to have such a high level of those hormones all the time. It's amazing that casual sex is so important that people would risk their health. Seems like a shitty trade-off to me.

>you are saying I have to remember to take a pill daily so I can skip thebworsr parts of being a woman?

>the only down sides are me having to learn not to be an impulsive eater and I break out sometimes Oh the humanity

>girls pretending they don't enjoy non condom sex like to be ironic

>SUCK IT UP BOYS MUHAHAHA WE CONTROL THE SEX WE ARE TOO LAZY SO WE MAKE YOU WHERE RUBBERS

>Isn't constantly being on birth control pretty fucked up if you think about it?
Actually I honestly think it is, too. Being on hormonal birth control increases a woman's risk of liver and cervical cancer, for example. There's also an increased risk of blood clots, heart attacks and strokes.
That said, it also decreases other risks so I guess there's a tradeoff.

Give it a rest. It's already been established that men get upset about a piece of rubber around their dicks. It's literally impossible to make yourselves look any better now lmao

how do you guys feel about the idea that mass usage of birth control in western country is whats leading to weak men

You're looking at this all wrong. You're still saying it's their responsibility to make sure they don't get pregnant, but all the other guys in this thread are trying to warn your dumb ass about STDs and shit, too. It's not up to some chick to keep you safe from disease and keep your life from falling apart, that's on you.

The guys aren't taking the birth control so I don't see what you mean. If you are referring to the fact that girls pee it out, though, that part's true. It is in the environment, but not in the water supply that you drink. You can even verify it yourself if you want to. I can tell you how.

>lolol women are such pansies worrying about acne and weight gain
>waah waaaah sex doesn't feel as good when I'm wearing a condom!!! Woe is meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
???

This thread is gay as fuck and probably started by some do-gooder shill. Sad.

And it seems like they get more mood swings from it and their appetite and metabolism gets all out of whack. All the stuff it heightens the risk for doesn't seem worth it just to be able to take dick.

Fuck off back to your containment board.

>I've heard, like the cup, that some women aren't comfortable putting it up there and having it sit

You heard right, but that's fucked up. "Eww, touch my OWN BODY? that's icky, I'd way rather let someone else jam a toothpick into my cervix or scramble my sense of physical attraction!"

Maybe im a faggot, but as a dude i wouldnt ever take any sort of male birth control pill or any other sort of medication to stop my fertility.

Because of that ive never convinced any chick ive dated to take the pill. Theyve all ended up on it for pcos, acne or somethibf else but i thibk its fucked guys expect girls to be on BC. Not white knighting, but BC generally just empowers thots to continue being thots.

Chick im sorta dating now has nuvaring but i just met her off bumble so i didnt really have a say in it.

Condoms are fine by me.

>hey honey can you please deal with the increased risk of cancer and ance and weight gain just so I feel slightly better during sex?
>WTF you don't want to do this for me why are women such selfish whores REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The moment a completely side effect free male birth control hits the market every man other man on the planet and every "chad" and man with money means and something to lose will be on that shit yesterday.

Thank you Satan.

Diaphragms don't make a good choice until the woman has had intercourse 4 or 5 times, but afterwards they are the master fucking race.

Especially if your like /out/ stuff. A diva cup and a diaphragm and you've got the feminine basics covered for a wilderness adventure of indeterminate length.

Anything hormonal is like playing roulette, there's a non-zero chance with every dose to render the woman permanently asexual.