Forgot to bring money for the plate dispenser

>forgot to bring money for the plate dispenser

>no money for gym locker key

>the gym slut trapped in the hack squat finally got freed

No more cum depository lads

>twin brother went to the gym an hour before me so now everyone is going to think it's him again.

>doing drop sets on bench press
>down to 1 pl8
>Stacy walks by
>she thinks I can only bench lmao1pl8 now

Who freed her? (him?)
They should be forced to only do calf raises for a month

i unironically hate this

part of the reason i got a home gym

>missed penis inspection day

That's not a downside for you

...

>Chad didn't ask me to hold his cock while he weighed himself

>day 1
>cant squat 5pl8

a-am i never gonna make it

>all the clips are in the fart corner

>the deadlifter is haunting the gym again

>forgot my squat plug

>gym jester steals pl8s off the bar inbetween sets
>puts soda in protein shake when not looking
>sprays your lifting straps with glitter
>snorts all the damn chalk and replaces hand sanitizer with liquid soap
>gym keeps hiking up prank insurance prices sky high

It was amusing at first, especially when it happens to other people, but now I've just about had enough, lads.

>coinslot for seatbelt on bench runs out of time
>police give ticket for benching without seatbelt

U might want to check your protein snacks too ;^)

>>>/reddit/

Kek

>not tall enough to get let on the squat rack

lol that guy messed with the screws on my poop scissors so my gym fined me for clogging the toilet.

>leg press went dry midway through dispensing my tickets after my set
>prize counter guy says he can't give me the rest

>have a good workout
>smash PRs
>find out they didn't reiron the plates so they weren't at full weight

>tfw you have to lower the bar in the squat rack like 2 levels to use it
hold me Veeky Forums

>tfw you forgot to charge your core overnight
>tfw it dies mid set and you visit snap city

kek

especially when the person who used it before you was a woman. fml

>pull the pins out
>*CLANG*
>gym patrons look over
>lower one, repeat
>it's still too high

>gym shaman fucked up cleansing ritual
>gainz goblin population doubled this week

I'm considering just doing a deload week t b h

>Bench pressing new PR
>Forgot to put coins into the racking timer
>DING
>Racking bars shoot back into bench press
>Had to hold the weight until the next ed sheeran song comes over the gym speakers, as is customary.
>'In love with the shape of you' is free rack song

>Uncultured vegetables
>They start swearing and listening to rap music

>forgot to tip the gym manlet and now he won't towel dry my taint sweat

>plate dispenser is sold out
>go to gym farmstead
>tfw harvest is bountiful this season

...

>plates haven't been trimmed in years
>all 45's have grown completely octagonal

Deadlifts are overrated anyway.....

>thicc gym bros remembered to squat on my face as a warm up set, as is the fee to use my squat rack
I'm really glad I decided to rent one of those racks, great investment

Chuckled

>forgot my notebook to log my reps x weight

>deadlifting 4 plates
>forget to scream "lightweight baby"
>get issued a summons to appear in front of the gym magistrate

kek

It's a big disappointment

>gym's local shrine to rippletits gets vandalized by benchfags
>run a covert op to pee on their Jeff Seid mural

>thinking people care about you in the gym
>thinking people care about the weight you lift

kek

I imagine this being a real thing and the chief magistrate uses his shaker cup as a gavel and you have until he's finished his sips to explain yourself

I actually told my normie friends once that I couldn't go to the gym for a week because I couldn't renew my plate dispenser card and I'd have to carry pennies around for my workout. I also told them it's shitty that I couldn't book the squat rack in the weekend and there were no free spots until next week, and that I got fined for letting the bar go after a deadlift. The fuckers believed it and said I was stoopid for staying at such a tyranical gym.

Not everyone shitposts all day long on the internet, like professionals.

Have pity on them

>using rowing machine
>fishing boats keep getting in the way

...

...

>squatters take over the gym again

...

We can do this user

I love this "meme", but don't know what it is about. It's like a alternative reality of something? Can you guys explain, please? I'm really intrigued by it.

I think of it as gymnasium bureaucracy

Perhaps the nature of gymming in the face of predatory capitalism

The more I think about it, the finnier it gets.

>all the clips are in the fart corner and some hamplanet is over there doing hanging colon evacuations

fucking kek

>no more cum depositery

>don't sumbit my squat rack use application form correctly
>gym guard billy clubs the side of my knee mid-squat
>high-council says this is my last warning
>spend next 72 hours watching re-education videos before I can finish my set.
>squat rack is occupied when I finish
Am I ever gonna make it lads?

>no empty lockers
>shit
>showers are closed off
>oh not not again
>enter gym hall
>music is blaring limp bizkit at max volume
>everybody standing in a big clump waiting patiently
>one guy is super setting everything at the gym again

Your machines don't dispense tickets?

>can't reach the clips because the corner is blocked by women with big asses BRAAAAAPing all the time

I have literally told people super setting like 3 pieces of equipment "no" and proceeded to use it.
It would be one thing if it was effective exercise done by non-DYELs but it fucking isn't.

Gym falconer won't let me in because my Falcon fails the 4' wing span test.

Gym has a no singles policy. Chad held the door.open for me on my way in, but the receptionist couple shewed me away with the dust brush

Best one of the thread

>Gym falcon laid eggs on bench again

>gym apothecary mislabeled his ingredients
>Makes INT instead of STR potions
>Half the gym literally to intelligent to lift
>cancelled gym membership and got a library card this morning

>used too much lube during bench press
>bar slips out of my hands and slams on the floor
>plates come loose and roll away
>one plate rolls into the gym laboratory and smashes open the manlet incubator
>forced to clean up the half-grown manlets that spilled out onto the floor

>pay my tokens to use squat rack
>decide I'm gonna rep 4pl8 today
>scream LIGHTWEIGHT BAYBEE
>finish 5 reps
>machine showers me in hundreds of tickets
>mfw going up to the counter and trading in my tickets for that tiny hanging disco ball I had wanted for so long
>even had enough left over for a spider ring too

>doing my squats in the curling rack
>the lank alarm goes off
>the gym jury and flexecutioner takes my pizza away

I masturbate to being in the recieving end of this fantasy when I'm at the gym
If you are ever wondering what us gym sluts are thinking about its this

>manlets meeting by the calf raise machines for the third time this month
fuck lads I'm getting concerned

Top kek

Booby-trap for sure. Warn the lanklets.

>forgot the homemade coconut recipe

>the oldest gym member is wailing on the designated manlet with a cane
The desk lady said we could only use open fists, wtf.

>gym owner's autistic son building tower of pl8s again

>gains goblins keep stealing the plates and putting them at the top of the stair climber stuck at max speed

>manlet sneaks out of the kids section and onto the squat rack even though he doesn't meet the minimum height
>the sensors won't dispense weights because he's too little
>the manlet alarm starts wailing
>he gets a $300 manlet citation
>I'm laughing my ass off
>guards assign me to be his adult supervision for the rest of his sets
Manlets fucking ruin everything

>going for new PR
>form wavers, tilt sensor goes off
>weights turn off, high score isn't recorded

>Gym rival hits new PR, top of the scoreboard
>unplug the machine when he leaves so the high scores get erased

>didn't know how many minutes I had left to look in the mirror
>too autistic to ask the front desk
>went way over my minutes now I can't pay rent

Heh. Tough luck kid

Is it autistic that I actually want a highscores posted in every gym

>all the manlets did leg extensions
>now I'm the shortest one in the gym
You guys don't think they're going to raise the manlet cutoff again, right? I really don't want to go back to the kids section.

>Go to Planet Fitness with a gallon of water. They won't let me drink from it because it's too intimidating. Have to drink in the shame closet now.

The barbell rack refused to unlock. It said, “Five cents, please.” He searched his pockets. No more coins; nothing. “I’ll pay you tomorrow,” he told the rack. Again he tried the barbell. Again it remained locked tight. “What I pay you,” he informed it, “is in the nature of a gratuity; I don’t have to pay you.” “I think otherwise,” the rack said. “Look in the purchase contract you signed when you bought your gym membership.”

In his gym bag he found the contract; since signing it he had found it necessary to refer to the document many times. Sure enough; payment to his barbell rack for locking and unlocking constituted a mandatory fee. Not a tip. “You discover I’m right,” the rack said. It sounded smug. From his gym bag Jeff Seid got a stainless steel knife; with it he began systematically to unscrew the bolt assembly of his gym’s money-gulping rack. “I’ll sue you,” the rack said as the first screw fell out. Jeff Seid said, “I’ve never been sued by a barbell rack. But I guess I can live through it.”

Lunk locker

liked this one