Tinder General

>implying those are shorts
And what's wrong with UA?

>get big = bachelors
>get aesthetic = masters
>become a cardiofag = PhD

What is an aesthetic pose I can do for a pic while at MMA? Or should I just take a group pic with me and a couple friends with our gear on?

I kinda want to include a fit hobby picture, but I don't know if thats a good idea or not?

Straight up tell your mates you need them to take a picture of you during MMA action for tinder

Tinder is harsh, bros. For a while there I was getting a steady stream of matches, I was getting blown out often but also getting dates and hookups. Now I only see fake profiles and bots, and mostly ignored by the few matches I get. Either something I did offended the Tinder algorithm or the female user base is dwindling, and I have a feeling it's the first one. There's no longer enough volume to have any success.

>What is an aesthetic pose I can do for a pic while at MMA?

Using a picture of you fighting in the literal manlet pit fueled by anger and repressed sadness for being small to attract girls.

...

Area?

>he hasnt switched to bumble
laughing sluts dot jpeg

REEEEEEEE

What should I say
Post ending in 4 gets it

tell her that's funny because 5 also happens to be the length of ur dick

Do you want to drink alcohol with me?

Thats how old my last girlfriend was

5? Sorry, but I have standards

I want to hook up a car battery to your tits

five times 5 is 25 and thats how big my dick is

i wanna see the jews wiped out

rerolling for this rofl

Interesting. Hey! Do you know what cuckolding is?

I hate black people fyi

this

You look like the kind of girl that strictly fucks black dudes

I voted Trump fyi

how do you feel about pegging?

shit score, anyway wanna hook up im dying for a fuck

I love watching black men fuck white women

I want to love and cherish you

Lol i dont care, u r so sexy wanna fuck?

You asked for this user

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

on Tinder you need looks (obvious)

But in RL being cool and personality is actually everything if you're < 30 years old.

If you get older Money becomes more important.

Looks are negligible in RL if you're over 5'7'', not obese, or otherwise disfigured.

Do it!

...

wtf that first message the guy didnt even roll a 4

Mad man

I didnt want to wait sorry boo
Gogo

>11 hours since she responded
>I didn't want to wait an extra 10

Kek

Post your profile please

Let the games, I mean memes begin

Made a thread since I didn't see this.
Alright I am swallowing my pride here and decided to use these here apps. But I have no fucking clue how to go about it.
>never had any social media account in my life
>never cared for taking pictures of myself or anything
>not ugly or autistic with talking to people, was just never vain in that regard
>realize that since I'm not in school, my exposure to women is very low
>haven't gotten laid in 4 years, and I realize that talking to one chick once in a blue isn't gonna change that
>live in the city, which is apparently the best way to get success through these apps
>I just want to get laid, but If I happen to find a loving GF along the way that would be nice
So where do I begin? Which one do I even use? Tinder, MeetMe, both? I see a ton of other apps too, some DIRECTLY meant for hooking up but there must be a reason they aren't talked about often. And how do I go about taking pics? I've never taken a damn selfie in my life except recently for CBT thread (naked, covering my dick with my hands), and I don't think that's what you're supposed to put up there.

Dubs or 0 tell me what to say to this match.
>No bio

>mfw I don't get matches because I don't have any decent pics even though I'm decent looking but don't have many friends or do stuff where pics are being taken

>Using an app that actively promotes the idea of rape culture and men doing everything wrong, while simultaneously shitting on same sex couples

Explain to me how that's better

Matched with this 10 and I legit don't know how to start as she is well put of my league

idc about that shit thats just where all the women went

YEEE dawg fuck sloots amirite XD
Sort yourself out.

>that
>a 10

what

Do the archaeologist line

Depending on her response, how do I reel this in

That is a 10
Niggah I Wana get laid

Say u wanna pierce her with ur dik

>used tinder once
>matched with qt
>we exchange numbers
>Get text
>"Hey listen, I'm actually a gay professor in town for a conference, and I just need to get some."
>Never reply

This is one of numerous shitty Tinder experiences that eventually led to me just deleting it.

>being a faggot

why dont you delete yourself?

If you wanna get laid then use the fucking archaeologist line

>guy poses as a grill and asks me to fuck him
>I don't fuck him when I find out he's a man

>I'm gay

Are you retarded

Don't you ever fucking reply to me ever again

Use any of these

iktf, I matched with a girl who went from wanting to hook up, to wanting a 3 way with her boyfriend, to it just being a guy

Ask her is she ugly because she's covering her face with her phone. It's like teasing and insulting her and she'll respond with attraction to you.

Ask her if dem titties are real
She is fucking ugly, why would you want her?

Here's another horror story
>Match with what appears to be a qt
>Agree to go eat and hang out for a bit
>drive to her place to pick her up
>Landwhale walks out
>Oh God Why
>Realize she used camera angles and black juju magic to make herself look cute on her profile
>Make smalltalk, she's insufferable
>get to the restaraunt
>I order the strongest margarita they have
>She eats about as much as you'd expect a landwhale to
>Get back to her place to drop her off
>she invites me inside to "hang out"
>I go in because I don't know how to not be nice to people
>proceed to have sex with what feels like silly putty

Remembering this makes me want to die. I washed my dick like three times after that.

Can someone drop an autistic lookism pasta?

>Why would you want her

Because i have unconventional taste and i want to cum on her teeth.

you know what they say, you are what you eat

Oh shit didnt even look at bio

>I did vote for Trump

Something like this?

> enter gym by using my PERFECT 20/20 VISION to perfectly grip the doorknob with my monster HANDS, opening it swiftly and beautifully
> can barely fit my massive FRAME through the door
> immediately every woman in the gym begins to STARE at my amazing FACE and FRAME
> my HEIGHT also makes them wet
> female staff member asks if I need any HELP
> 'is it your first TIME HERE SIR?' she says looking UP at my perfect FACE
> 'does my FRAME look like it is need of any help?
> walk my 6'7" FRAME to the squat rack using my LONG LEGS
> there is a guy there training his "LEGS"
> I guess he missed HEIGHT DAY
> he takes one look at me and LEAVES
> i don't know if it was the HEIGHT, FACE or FRAME that did it. How should I know? I have it ALL
> Do a 225 OVERHEAD PRESS AS A WARMUP
> MIRES FROM ALL
> Keep working up to a 4PL8 OHP, last SET
> get it UP FOR 6
> cheers from EVERYONE
> I gesture to my INCREDIBLE BODY
> "HEIGHT,"
> I place my palms on the top of squat rack
> "FACE,"
> I smile the nicest smile ever
> "FRAME,"
> hoist up two blondes on my SHOULDERS
> "WHAT CAN I SAY, ITS ALWAYS MY DAY"
> leave the gym with 2 BLONDES HANGING OFF MY ARMS
> PEOPLE ARE ROARING WITH PRAISE
> GENETICS are LITERALLY EVERYTHING
> EVERYTHING

Your dick is also 5 times 5?

>uhhh
>uhhhhh
>this has never worked before
nice job sperging out you autistic faggot

you could have just kept saying outrageous shit to make her keep thinking you were joking, but now you just came out as a weird autist

Just be like,"u r whatcha eat gurl"

Why? Embrace it, you just fucked a fat chick. If nothing else, you got your dick wet and a check on the bucket list.

Maybe you can sue her for rape.

Bro the lines are from "Eric Andre does Tinder" I watched that shit yesterday. Wanted to try it out lol

Shit im hihj af forgot to post pic

this is my experience lately too. tons of matches but no dates. i message an opener, they respond maybe 20% then i msg follow-up and they ghost me. i used to do so well. chicks would talk at least.

>that smug face

every time

>Embrace it

I tried, but there was just too much fat to really wrap my arms around her

Oshit she lives right in my neighborhood

>art """"""students""""""
what a joke

>108 miles away

why even put in any effort

I'd let her cuck me if I was that out of her league. Probably the one and only time that guy will get pussy as prime as that

That girl is hiding her face for a reason. On top of all of it, her grammar is poor and she had the intelligence of a high school sophomore. You don't want to message her anyway.

>good looking girl at gym is acting weird/keeping distance around me
>think it is because I have been looking at her too much or something (social sperg)
>overhear her name in a conversation and check my tinder, and there she is - a match from 7 months ago

Why does having cute animals in your pictures help get girls? I get they like them, but I just don't make the jump from "he's with a cute animal -> I want his penis in me". What's the connection?
I mean if a girl is hot I want to have sex with her, that's my "checklist". Her holding an animal isn't gonna sway me in either direction, but from what I hear here holding a cute animal basically guarantees more swipes.

I'll round it off with a good story, maybe give some hope to some peeps that are considering tinder

>gf of three years breaks up with me
>get tinder
>match with a qt
>she's a hot redhead, a 7/10 that does cosplay
>tinder profile pic is her in a maid outfit
>Chat a bit, agree to pick her up and hangout
>We go back to my apartment (at the time I still lived with my then ex bc I didn't have anywhere else to go, but she was out of town.)
>We get to drinking wine and watching netflix
>She starts going on about some shit I don't remember bc drunk and don't care
>Say fuck it and start making out with her, she digs it
>we stop and talk some more
>Eventually I say that the bed in the bedroom was bought by my ex and that we hardly ever had sex in it
>Redhead looks at me for a second before standing up from the couch
>think to myself "oh shit she's about to leave because I creeped her out"
>She starts walking toward the bedroom and taking her clothes off, and says "Well do you wanna fix that?"
>I sit there for a second before drunkenly running into the bedroom after her.

Had sex twice that night, and once in the morning, all on my ex gfs bed.

Feels good.

Shows you are friendly

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

idk its already a catch she replied
just ask for her number

predicting dead replies. give her a dead line
>>and there she is

just go with
>yet?

>I'd like that booty call with 20 nuggets, fries and an apple pie. Is that a big enough order?

Pretty good bro

>tfw still not over ex
>match up with only the shy girl type on tinder
>ex wasnt shy