ITT: We pretend to be our mothers

I'm afraid my son is getting too big. He says he can already bench press 80kg. I told him that it's enough and he can stop increasing weight but he doesn't listen to me. He says he's "making it" but his abs totally disappeared. I'm really worried about him. What should I do?

You are failure at everything you do. You are totally worthless piece of shit. Ultimate disappointment. I wish you've never been born.

.

time to move out and never come back

I'm glad he's doing better but I can sense something is bothering him..

If you can't follow the rules of this house
Then you can't live in this house
> don't have any old lady pics

He's so much bigger than his father. I wish I could have sex with him.

...

>Why the hell did he have to be born
>I would still be married if it wasn't for him
>Even after dropping out of college all he does if lift, work and waste time at home. His brothers did the same and they're married.
>Is he gay or something? He's only ever talked about having a girlfriend once, in middle school. He doesn't even leave the house unless it's for work.
>I wish it was Little user living with me instead. At least he agrees with what I say.

T-thanks, mom ;__;

your mother is attracted to you and she thinks you are the problem

its the same thing when fathers yell at their daughters to put more clothes on

Hey monkey boy umm I'm a little short on money this month do you think you can help me out also can you buy me some cigarettes

You need to eat more, stop being so fussy.
Why are you eating so much chicken?

*smokes cigarette*
You know...
*eats crisps*
I've been thinking about...
*scoffs chocolates*
going on a diet like...
*eats pizza*
you've been on...
*drinks soda*
lol nvm

What? Exercise? No, honey. I can't. I mean, I know I spend most of my time around the house, but it's fine since I've been reading about certain diets lately. Like, the amaranth diet: you eat it whenever hungry and you lose weight! Cool, huh? Try it out, since you look like you could lose weight, all that muscle isn't good for you, you know?

Hey user want a hot dog for dinner?

Hey user we're going to order some pizzas do you want one for yourself?

Hey user we're going to the chinese buffet want to come?

Hey user they didn't have that bread you wanted so I got you some rye bread instead

Hey user you really shouldn't be eating that much protein it's not good for your kidneys

Hey user

My doctor told me to build up my bone strength, so Im doing a zumba™ class. Want to come with me user? I really liked our workout session that one time, but I felt like I had the flu after... I dont know if aomeone my age should be lifting THOSE types of weights. That bike you picked out for me? Ill ride it, but when its nicer out. I promise.

My piece of shit son drank all the milk again and spent the day at the gym instead of looking for a job.

Also, why doesn't he have a gf? He's probably gay, and it has nothing to do with the 5' womanlet genetics I gave him. Why can't he just bee himself?

What would a vase filled with ashes say?

>user, could i borrow a few dollars? my migraine is coming back, so rick down the street was gonna help me with some oxys.
fuck opiates. they stole my mom from me.

>at least I'm not a skelly

literally this minus the cigs.
constantly talks about dieting when she talks to me but never does it

thanks for the laugh

>*gets flustered*
>user be careful with those weights we don't have very good insurance don't push yourself why dont you just go jogging you know me and your father were both track stars in highschool you have a runners body rememver to eat lots of fruit also doctor oz says blblbahbdbebsbhsduyxksjdjndi

>*shaking head*
>I caught user sneaking in that little Filipino boy that dresses like a girl again
>I really hope this is just a phase

My son works out too much. I told him that he's pushing close to the limit of whatbthw body an do. He said he can almost lift 300 pounds! As a mom, I have been to the limit raising kids and taking care of a household. Trust me, you're working your body too hard, slow down!

kek

>user has never brought a girl back to the house.
>I wonder if all those bodybuilding supplements are turning him gay?

>Lifting? Sports? Social life? fuck all of that school is the only thing that matters
>no you can not go out with your friends
>also I'm going to scream at you for every little mistake you make and make you think you're the most worthless piece of shit on the planet

20 years later

>user why don't you have a girlfriend? all of my friend's kids are getting married and buying houses
>where did we go so wrong?

>wow you're lifting that much now?
>be careful that you don't hurt yourself
>thanks for motivating me to get back in the gym
>I love you user
Love you too mom

>gosh you are becoming just like your dad. Is gym the only thing thats important to you now? You look fine the way you are you dont have to get bigger, you will look gross.

>stop drinking all the fucking milk! What the hell is wrong with you?

>i cannot believe i gave birth to a person like you. I cannot even consider you my son anymore because the things you do, no child would put their family through.

Such is life

>Mommy issues: the thread

>underrated

That feel when you're such a morally righteous douchenozzle with a minimal understanding of parental dynamics and a very poor ability to critically think, so you spend your time missing the joke on Caribbean sandal-thatching boards

Atleast she'd say she was getting oxy haha. My mom always says she needs like 135 extra for rent and instead go pick up a couple pills. Or "hey I need some money for gas cigs and food, can you loan me like $35"

Your childhood sounds fun

It feels like all the really dumb comments in this thread come from american women.

Tfw mum is fit as fuck, has consistently performed a light workout first thing in the morning for 15 years as well as exercise on weekends combined with feeding me high quality healthy meals my whole life and also encouraged me to start lifting weights when i was skinny.

Dosent fall for any meme science either:
>honey whats this creatine stuff
>just atp, google it mum
>looks good can i take some before i go cycling?
>sure mum

when you have the "cool mom"

>before i go cycling

Why do I have to learn to cook something that doesnt come out of a box or something fatty, loaded with carbs and/or fried when cooking with herbs, spices and fresh ingredients tastes GROSS I mean i'm happy with who I am regardless of the fact i'm always fatigued and known to develop bizarre health issues what could go wrong? You can eat 'healthy' if that's what makes you happy but that food is gross!

im dead

My mom is actually proud of my lifting. Regularly tells people how I go to the gym 6 times a week and I'm always at the gym

>ITT: We pretend to be our mothers

"Awww, shit. Lemme suck on that dick, nigga."

>Trying to make an effort to eat healthy
>Every time I visit my parents my mom buys me chocolate and wonders why I'm so "skinny"
>My grandmother's obesity gave her a slew of health problems in her retirement, and my mom is following in the same footsteps
Why do Americans have to be so fat

>Why do Americans have to be so fat

Because we're rich, muh fugga

T..tiny?

When a father tells their daughter to put more clothes on it's because of other men wanting to defile her not himself . You may actually have brain issues, seek help.

literally me

iktf

"You should lose weight, you're too young to have to worry about a heart attack"

"You're losing too much weight! Are you bulimic? Do you want to kill yourself?"

"You need to stop working out, you've lost so much weight already and I don't want you to be some dumb meat head"

I just can't win, I swear anons. Also, I've only gone from 320+ to about 252, so I definitely don't need to stop.

You know son, we're a really liberal household, you know that, right? If you're gay it's fine, it's 2017.

> your little sister bought a house, why can't you?
> please don't bring up the fact that you saved our house from being foreclosed, it stresses out your father and you know he is already stressed out by that job he hates.
>I wish you'd date again, hopefully you'll be able to find a nice girl your own age who doesn't already have a kid but still wants one.
Fat chance mom, I'm 30, every woman my own age who is interested in kids would come with step children, at least you understand that step kids would be awful, you're just going to have to accept that I'm only in the market for 1992 and newer.
>I think you should do more cardio.
> You need to buy another gunsafe, I don't like that you have to leave out that .22 and that single shot .410.
> You should trade in your truck on something smaller and newer


> I'm glad you've got a better job with less commute, you seem much happier.

Sounds like we got the same mom
>no I don't know what happened to your Christmas money, you were 16 and you probably just lost it
>no I don't know what happened to the money !MY! father left for you. I was just holding onto it until you were 19
>hey user I'm getting evicted by the police tomorrow can you help
>don't fucking ignore my texts
>fuck you I had an emergency and had to spend the $600 you gave me for rent
>I wish you weren't my son you greedy piece of shit

Don't talk to her anymore. I don't like her now, but I miss the mom I had when I was 10. Now I'm 24 and living far away from her.

> hey user, do you want to go biking with me? i'm training for my next triathlon
> hey user, you're looking really skinny, make sure you eat enough
> hey user, have you been outside this week?

then i start lifting

> hey user, all that calorie counting and protein seems extreme, why can't you just eat a balanced diet
> hey user, don't eat too much red meat, it's correlated with colon cancer, you know
> hey user, i don't like the sound of this 'cutting', it seems a little obsessive, like an eating disorder

i mean my mom is pretty cool but goddamn she embodies the 'urban professional who does endurance sports' stereotype to a T

damn, i feel kinda lucky desu.
>mother struggled with depression and migraines all her life
>got worse after giving birth
>barely left her bed for almost a decade
>mother only leaves house to go to doctor appointments
>doctor shopped like hell
>found some fucks that were willing to shill out a conveyor belt of a rainbow of opiates for years
>her mom died and she fuckin lost it
>she is on so much of so many things her doctors couldn't give her anything more, and she becomes totally dependant
>then they pulled the rug out from under her abruptly
>money goes missing while we're at school and our dad's working
>she begs my siblings and i to find someone in our highschool that sells pills
>probably ended up finding a source or more quacks with script pads
went on for about 9-10 years, roughly. she started getting better a few years ago after lots of therapy and more doctor visits, and as far as i know hasn't had any opiates for a couple years. but as much as she's improved, i still worry about her falling back into old habits. and, there's also that indescribable something that makes her stick out from most others. like she's always kind of slurred or disassociating to some degree. i imagine it's the mental equivalent to that last bit of fog lingering around after the rest has dissipated.

>I wish you were 6'+
>I know I'm 5'2" and your dad is 5'6", but look how tall white boys are
>Look how successful x is
>I hope your younger sisters grow taller than you

t. 5'11" Asian

>I asked your dad about that creatine stuff you were talking about and he said it was banned by the MLB in the 90's, I also read a study saying it's not healthy for young people to take, so you can't have it
>You're not getting Melanotan 2, injecting stuff to tan easier is gross and not natural, but I bought you this natural herbal supplement at the store that makes you tan easier after you've been taking it and trying to tan outside for a month

>injecting melatonin
>living with parents
Kys

tfw when I got serious about lifting and getting healthy, and brute forced my entire family to also finally get healthy
FeelsGoodMan

> I know you're on a diet user, so I made you this pasta.
> You can eat all the pasta you want and lose weight because it has no fat in it
T-t-thanks mom

>user you've been eating a lot recently. Trying to put on weight?
>What are you cooking, user? Looks nice. But I shouldn't eat any cause I just started my diet.
>Hey you look exhausted from all the work you're doing recently, I brought you home a sandwich

I like my mom.

Is there something wrong with that?

...

>user what's this C4 stuff?
>It's like coffee mom
>Can I have some for when I go to my yoga class?
>Sure mom but it's strong
>HOLY FUCK user HOW DO YOU DRINK THIS

She bought a tub for herself a week later.

>5'11"
>Asian
>Dad 5'6"
>Mom 5'2"
You should be proud of your genetics user
Considering all the factors, you are really lucky. You're still above average and you should be happy.

Yeah, but I still hate my mom for making me insecure about that shit. Fucking Asian moms, my man...

I grew up in America and my parents were able to provide me nutritious foods. Plus I was a fat fuck prior to puberty, so I'm pretty sure that contributed to my total height, too.

I'm 18. Do you think I'll grow more? I see all these tall Chinese, Korean, and white bois, whereas I'm a 5'11" average Vietnamese man.

Idk how old you are, so maybe parents buying you shit and controlling what you do is okay.
>Injecting Melatonin
Jesus christ user. Why the fuck do you wanna end up looking like B4-4? I say this as somebody who doesn't have white skin, be proud of your skin. Having white ppl skin is okay and you should embrace it.

I'm Indian
My mom is like 5'5", my dad is like 5'7". I somehow grew up to be 5'11", but my mom constantly fucking tells me I should grow taller.
Also males can grow in height until they're 21, so you and me still have a chance friendo

Haha, I love Indians. You guys are such bros, I sat next to this smart Indian boi back in calculus my sophomore year of high school. I love curry, too, my man.

How old are you?

This

>Why the fuck do you wanna end up looking like B4-4?
They have an ugly orange tan, I want a light one or a medium one, kinda like those models in that one picture, the 3 chads that are standing on a dock. You know the one.
>I say this as somebody who doesn't have white skin, be proud of your skin. Having white ppl skin is okay and you should embrace it.
My skin is sickishly pale from years of being inside all the time. I glow when I'm in the sun. Also becoming tan makes blemishes, acne, etc not look as bad as they would on a pale person. Makes it a lot better. It also makes dark circles around your eyes a lot less prominent and noticeable.

>user, you want to develop long, lean muscles. Those short muscles some girls have will make you look stumpy.
>You're not taking that whey stuff are you?
>Let me get you an appointment with a personal trainer. He'll teach you how to use all the machines and stuff correctly.
>So what machines do you use?

o god

>another LARP thread

Autism

Until you need surgery or medicine, then you'r almost homeless.

>tfw

>getting mad over 61 people enjoying themselves
autism

How did you end up here m8?

Veeky Forums is mommy issues the site though so it makes sense.

kek

'user, you're getting too big. Don't spend so much time caring about what you look like, girls find it very unattractive.'

>You shouldn't be going to the gym at 4am. What if you get attacked by someone? Change it

What time do you go to bed?

9pm

>why won't dad support user?
>he hit a wall and for 4 years failed to break into any career interest he had because of a lack of education or qualifications you could have given him
>I begged him not to join and now I worry about him being killed every single day
>you haven't tried to rebuild your relationship with him despite my efforts and his to reach out
>he could be safely living at home with his girlfriend, near to us and moving up in his career if you weren't so stuck in your own mindset
Love you mum, I'll be alright and I'm sending you a surprise sum to help with rent for that little cottage you found for yourself. I hope dad is enjoying his trip to Spain.

...

>tfw mom is suffering from dementia and rarely talks anymore
>I love you, user
>I'm so glad you're happy now son
That and lots of hugs.

Stop bonding you faggots. Btw my mom is 5'4 and my dad is 5'5 , I'm 5'10, bow before the king.

>Are you coming to visit here during the winter break?
>Are you feeling depressed again?
>Here's a program about a depression I saw on TV
>Are you coming to visit here during the Easter holidays?
>Are you making progress on your bachelor's thesis?
>Are you coming to visit during summer?
>I'm coming to visit you user. I'll bring some fruits, is there anything else you need?

I want to sort myself out so she can stop worrying about me. She doesn't live alone, she just wants to see me I guess. I only visit once a year for a week during Christmas.

>I love you, user
>You should call more often
>How's the gf?
>You still looking for work
>Keep it up, I'm sure you'll find something
I won the mum lottery

Shit. I lost both my grandmothers to that. Not easy being cheesy. My condolences.

>He is such a loser
>Born with my genetics, I that studied medicine summa cum laude and has been working her ass of all life
>He could achieve so much with my genetics but he never will

She's right though. I don't have an ounce of ambition within me.

>How was your day? Have you meet any girls?
Every single day she somehow has to mention girls in some form, I get it mom, you want me to prove I'm not a failure, but please, I have lots of work right now

GO AND VISIT HER YOU SHITBAG

Mental illness and no understanding of basic societal concepts here on display lads.

You spastic. The picture of those guys at the dock has a fucking Instagram filter slapped on it

My dad did this from 17-20. When I actually got a life and started banging and got some money and fucked hookers on the side, we started sharing stories.

I didn't come here for feels

fugg

what the fuck. how far do you live?

An 1½h train ride away.

Haha, my mum had pretty much all the concerns listed in this thread. Luckily, she's an open minded person and when I sit her down and explain the science and rationale behind she comes round, which is a lot more than most older people can say about changing their mind.

Love you mum.