/mental fitness/

how do I kill my ego? and stop caring about what others think of me. it's getting in the way of my gains and my social gains

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I pathologically do not give a shit about what others think.

I have a narcissistic personality disorder.

At least I think so. I read sam vaknins book and can explain everything I do and feel with the knowledge from him.

To make it fitness related my grandiose fantasies made me do intermediate programs even though I'm a novice
>3 years and still under 1/2/3/4

>grandiose fantasies
Which ones?

It isn't always a bad thing to care what other think of you. The key as always is to find balance and only care when necessary.

nah you're probably just some 20 something that thinks he's smarter than he is. a real narcissist would take lifting more seriously

ill explain how its getting in the way

1), im afraid to do new stuff at the gym because i think ill look stupid

2) im afraid to just go out to the park alone because of what people will think of me

so i stay on the machines, and on the weekend i stay inside

There is no upper limit for it simply because my sadistic superego never stops bullying me and I need my fantasies to protect me against it

This leads for example to ego lifting

wow that hurt
I got my narcissistic supply from video games
and I just believe I don't have to work hard in order to make it
and I can't stick to routines because it bores me
and I don't listen to more experienced lifters because I believe I know everything better

How old are you? Everybody sucks at things the first time they try them. Being self-conscious like that is normal. The challenge is overcoming it. And if you want to go to the park alone just do it once and your irrational bullshit will clear itself up. You are making it out to be a bigger deal than it is.

Mindfulness meditation works well.

>Get self conscious about things
>Realize thoughts are just patterns that latch on and fade, shifting from moment to moment
>Perception and truth is not always right or accurate
>React to things when necessary but remain in a deep observation of people

Honestly, after 3-4 years of meditation I went from overly emotional and reactive person to calm and patient. It actually terrifies people alot because most people are kinda afraid of people who show very strong emotional control vs. some guy who gets easily angry or shows emotion overtly and hence way more predictable.

Thats not ego, thats low self-esteem or self-conscious. I got ego issues:

1. flipping off people at bus stop when I pass in my BMW
2. trash talk and put others down when I talk to people I don`t like
3. generally being a douchebag

How old are you? Narcissism is pretty common up to a certain age, probably around 22-23. Afterwards its a problem with how well you matured.

Don't let others control your life especially when you dont have the ability to guess what other people think of you. You seem to be taking the approach of assuming the worst scenario every time. I used to do this not to long ago. As autistic as this sounds kind of act like Larry David from Curb your Enthusiasm. He doesnt give a shit and does and says what he wants. You obviously don't have a personal relationship with these people so their is nothing to worry about. They may think you are weird but fuck them. They arent living your life. Dont let them affect it.

dress like pic related

You're not narcissistic you're just a lazy brat. You're self-diagnosing as an excuse to not improve yourself so you can say "oh well, this is just the way my brain works, no point in trying." You're not special you just lack discipline. Quit playing video games, are you 12?

Don't belittle me dude, it really sucks
I'm 25
I shouldn't need you to believe me fuck off

> bmw

Not high-end enough to brag about, my man.

i know it aint RR, but fuck car-less peasants or peasants in rusted out civics anyway

Yeah I was also quite narcisstic and still show some signs of it. Just learn to meditation and fix your patterns of thoughts.

It can help you correct most shitty and dumb patterns and make you better at empathizing. It will also help you prevent your narcisstic self from leaking. IE I have contempt for people often, including ones I don't know but go into a state of observing myself just emotionally reacting with learned habits and the feelings go away and I can talk to them like a normal person.

Lmao like with most cars there are dyel models and mirin models. Same with bmw.

Gotta just keep putting yourself out there. Truth is, no one gives a shit about you. They are people with their own lives. Keep practicing at doing the shit you want to do and try to keep telling yourself "they don't give a shit about what you're doing."

Acid or mescaline.

5g cracker dry shrooms straight to the brain

5mao-dmt
youtube.com/watch?v=rH1bfZ1p6sg
also this
mescaline showed me what's possible.
enlightenment is right in front of our noses.
i think of it everyday since then.

Ego death doesn't equal social gains. A tempered ego does but a person without any ego whatsoever reaches odd levels of enlightenment where social interaction is mostly meaningless.

I agree,almost every interaction i come across feels completely useless and a waste of time.The only interactions i have are some messages with one friend.