Amy Schumer is Veeky Forums

Because her early stuff was kind of funny, back when she was a self-deprecating whore. Now she has an image to uphold and just steals jokes.

>knockout figure
have we really fallen this far

>dailymail
>sound, intelligent reporting

pick one

>she’s as hilarious in the gym as she is on TV

So, bland and boring. Got it.

Because liberals are spineless simpletons who have been trained to blindly follow trends.

Bear with me here. Surely you know how viciously most liberals will turn on their own ilk at the first opportunity they get (a relatively mild example of this can be seen in the results of reddits downvote mechanism- look at what happens to even the loyalest party member when they step out of preprescribed lines); they have been trained through negative reinforcement to not question what opinions their popmedia sources chose for them. This can be opinions on anything from politics to humor. Now Amy Schumer is a relative of powerful Democratic senator and multimillionaire Chuck Schumer. The liberals wanted a female comedian to fill the postmodern "whut eva i do what i want' niche; but not one who was too 'punk rock' or would cross their boundaries too far, rather someone who would be safely reliable to spout their generic buzzfeed tier opinions. Thus, back room deals were made, Amy Schumer was chosen and the media machine propped her up as one of their members, and the rest is history.

To put it in simplest terms, liberals will like her because Buzzfeed told them to like her.

Eh I'de of tagged her before she disrespected her privates on a world stage. Not having shame is degenerate.

Holy shit will Veeky Forums ever recover?

>We think Amy looks beautiful and healthy, and she works out so hard that she could likely kick your ass in the gym

Any healthy male could fucking break her in half

>daily mail
I though this kind of feminist propaganda was a leftist thing?

Her trainer is an absolute mad man “Sometimes I have her just pick one of these exercises and do anywhere from three to five sets with 15 to 30 reps,”
Woah make sure you don't send her to snap city with such an intense workout.

Are you kidding me, I am very liberal and associate with liberal friends. We fucking hate these meme movements.

The claims that you are making about liberals are the same claims they make about conservatives. Stop basing your beliefs around shitty stand up comedians, or actors who say whatever they can to get more attention.

There have been shitty comedians on both sides. Now stop doing "research" on reddit, and getting your news from meme sites.

...

I'm sure your fine, but many people on your side are not

You say that like there aren't many idiots on both sides

But she has a vagina

Its true. Look at fucking Fedor. Hell just google the name Fedor and see who comes up. He's not what I would call fit but I would rather fight any one of you faggots then step in the ring with him.

>he's not fit because he has high bodyfat
>heavyweight fighter

You're dumb.

>“Sometimes I have her just pick one of these exercises and do anywhere from three to five sets with 15 to 30 reps,” explains Pasternack. “Other times I’ll have her do all seven exercises, doing one to three sets of 15 to 20 reps.”

High volume + minimal sets = 0 gains

>15 to 20 reps

MAXIMUM KEK

He's a heavyweight fighter. Amy whatever is a comedian.

What are you getting at.

why does the media keep pushing this bitch on us

she's not funny or cute, she has no reason to be on tv.

>Her trainer Harley Pasternak posted an Instagram video of her sweating through some intense cardio on a Helix machine, which works abductors, obliques, glutes and quads simultaneously

Wow so Fucking intense

>that instagram video in the article
>her face in it

>Heavy weight fighters are fat.

No.

yes because we all aspire to look like Amy Schumer
>tfw she is 300 lbs now
>tfw never lifted when she went to towson university
>tfw was never athletic
>tfw thinks that diabetes, overeating, and looking like miss piggy make her in shape
Dont be fucking delusional.

Because people will click and spread the link whenever her name is mentioned. Just like OP did.

Here's the relevant part:
>No matter how much flack Amy Schumer has gotten from the press about her size, there’s no denying she’s a total beast in the gym. Her trainer Harley Pasternak posted an Instagram video of her sweating through some intense cardio on a Helix machine, which works abductors, obliques, glutes and quads simultaneously.

What else does Pasternak have her do during their sessions? Pasternak tells People that the comedian does a circuit of strength moves called the “simple seven,” targeting all areas of the bod with lunges, dumbbell lifts of all kinds, hip thrusts and planks that would challenge any fitness enthusiast.

“Sometimes I have her just pick one of these exercises and do anywhere from three to five sets with 15 to 30 reps,” explains Pasternack. “Other times I’ll have her do all seven exercises, doing one to three sets of 15 to 20 reps.”

Pasternak says Schumer is in great shape and takes her fitness seriously, and she’s as hilarious in the gym as she is on TV. “She played sports at a high level through high school and college and was an aerobics instructor,” says Pasternak. “So she’s very coordinated and easy to push in the gym.”

While I believe you, you have to admit many of these movements are coming from your side

Good on you for not falling for them tho

>using a heavyweight fighter with high body fat to justify any Schumer being fat
>fedor, who trains for MMA is not Veeky Forums

>(((Schumer)))
>how in the hell did she become famous

Really activates my almonds

>No matter how much flack Amy Schumer has gotten from the press about her size, there’s no denying she’s a total beast in the gym. Her trainer Harley Pasternak posted an Instagram video of her sweating through some intense cardio on a Helix machine, which works abductors, obliques, glutes and quads simultaneously.
>What else does Pasternak have her do during their sessions? Pasternak tells People that the comedian does a circuit of strength moves called the “simple seven,” targeting all areas of the bod with lunges, dumbbell lifts of all kinds, hip thrusts and planks that would challenge any fitness enthusiast.
>“Sometimes I have her just pick one of these exercises and do anywhere from three to five sets with 15 to 30 reps,” explains Pasternack. “Other times I’ll have her do all seven exercises, doing one to three sets of 15 to 20 reps.”

kek, I should become a personal trainer

It's likely intentionally ironic in order to get a rise out of people.

>Eh I'de of tagged her
>Not having shame is degenerate.

excuse me, what the fuck?

Meh I don't care how disgusting she look, in all honesty she objectively overweight, but desu senpai I'd hit that hard than immigrants in Europe.
I think I have some sort of mental illnesse that make me lust for girls that are a bit overweight. I said a bit tho, when a whale escape velocity is a certain fraction of that of earth I am all for aktion T4 in this bitch

Veeky Forums is not for leftists, it’s for right-wingers.
>Pic related.

If liberals are told to love something, they will. If told to hate something, they will.

They (in 2017) are literally automatons that do and think what they are told with not so much as an objection (internally or externally). The perfect submissive citizen...

If they have to turn in their own mothers into the PC execution force, they will... and with a big fucking smile on their face. An empty skull, filled with the fumes of smugness they get from their precious news and movies.

ok amy schumer's weight is a funny meme but in all honesty she's not that big and she's fairly attractive. would pork / 10. wouldn't marry but would date if I could pork a lot.

>journalism is trash these days

It's always been shit (at least in America), in 240 years the New York Times was briefly good in the beginning of the 20th century and a handful of newspapers were good in the 70s. But those are the exceptions, not the norm.

DELET

Slow down Atticus fucking Finch

Look at Leo's arms, holy shit. Has he ever picked up anything in his life? I saw him holding a pen in that Wolf of Wall Street movie, surely he would have built his arms up a little just from that

her uncle is senate minority leader and one of the most powerful men in america

kek

>hey guys read some reddit
Gtfo

family connections..

its basically nepotism

>look everyone, she gyms!
>fat people can gym too!
>look how she's sweating doing her gym workout on the retarded memeliptical!
>we reckon she could kick anyone's ass in the gym!
>I mean, isn't it ridiculous that pear shaped bodies with a gut aren't considered attractive?
>she can almost fit in a size 8 American (which is a size 12 for the rest of the developed world) fit gods sake!
>how dare you lump this overweight alcoholic slut in with an obese single woman at 40, and a degenerate, fatter singer who smokes!

How low are your standards? Is this what Nofap does to a man?

>t. leftist from reddit

>Amy Schumer's workout
Eat from trough until failure?

The article doesn't mention how many times she goes to the gym in a given month. In her video she doesn't look like she's working out at all, and apart from all of that, fat content has infinitely more to do with your diet than it does how much you "work out" at the gym.

I hate our culture familia.

People don't know that, though. They think that the gym is this magical place that alters your body by simply being there. So fatties hop on the treadmill for 5 minutes, walking at a brisk pace of 1mph, and then continue eating McDicks and 500g of sugar a day as if they're making an impact.

People are both over reliant AND under reliant on the gym in modern culture. It's fucking strange. You'd think it was like showing a caveman how to make fire when a fit person walks out of a gym.

Yeah, nah.

Your side is the SJWs and Amy Schumers.

Veeky Forums better watch out

I really didn't know she was a Jew...

It all makes sense now.

Fucking kike nepotism.

tfw amy has been the high test gf of my dreams the whole time

FUCKING MAXIMUM KEK

no i fap every day. she's not that ugly ffs

Yes she is holy fuck do you live among literal animals?

Would buy her shit and let her continue her degenerate lifestyle if I get to fap and maybe play with her tits while Tyrone fucks her from behind

How can I unlock this mode, Veeky Forums?

I'm a 30 year old man.

>implying the talentless elitist piglet of chuck schumer would suckle at any teat other than hitlary

It's just a bulk, silly boys.

because she's related to chuck schumer and everyone in the political and media establishment relentlessly suck one another's cocks as hard as they physically can
literally the only reason

T H I C C

Why can't she just own up to being a fat cunt?

you know when feminists start talking about
>white males
thats what you sound like

congrats u did it

t. non coastal american

>be sensible liberal who has never agreed entirely with one talking head's stance
>most friends are conservatives
>very few liberal friends

Current liberals are raised with the mentality that being a lib is just "correct," and don't put any thought into it. It's a fragile image, and if you threaten it then you're attacked. I'd rather get made fun of 3v1 for being a lefty than being unable to disagree with the hugbox.

There are fuckwits on the right as well, but there are way more that back up their opinions and will continue to talk to you if you outright disagree with them

Just gonna drop this here, don't mind me.

Writing at the level of a fourth grader is also pretty degenerate.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, but I want to demolish her. Every time I look at her I feel a great and disturbing stirring in my loins the likes of which I have never experienced. I want to cum inside everyone of her disgusting, flabby, flaky, oily,stinky folds. I want to commit a nuclear sexual holocaust on her. I'd fuck her until the heat and friction from our bodies created an inferno that destroys the entire bay area.
send help

i've always found it to be pretty much even as to how open my liberal and conservative friends are, but then again i'm in the uk
it seems like the liberals in america are fucking mental, but then again if you judged conservatives by the standards of the good ol boys down in alabama you'd have a pretty shitty view of them too, it just happens they don't go on the internet

ngl that leather getup on the inside special was hawt

rest of the show was absolute cancer

bullet through the brainstem x failure
or actually you know what, do yourself and all of us a favour. go rape the shit out of her repulsive porcine body, murder her and THEN commit suicide. everybody wins.

I see Amy Schumer as a challenge, more than anything. Here is a woman who, in every single aspect, is absolutely revolting - her exterior AND her personality - yet I can't help but wonder what would be like, to plunge balls-deep into her repeatedly.
That's right. Balls-deep. With no protection.
I won't lie, I'm extraordinarily-hard while typing this. I want to grab this... thing... and that's what Amy Schumer is, let's not delude ourselves, a "thing"... by the hips and ram mercilessly in and out of her quivering, malformed cunt with the force of a gladiatorial chariot, while she makes stupid faces and contorts orgasmically, unable to control her bodily reactions even if she wanted to.
I would erupt violently inside that corrupt and corrupting womb as though the entire fate of humanity depended on my seed penetrating the foul walls of one of her ovaries, the electrical fusion from this coupling creating the Antichrist, as our combined, guttural, Chewbacca-like roars shattered glass and walls alike around us, the house toppling down while we lay there in a filthy, disgusting mess.
Yeah. I reckon Amy Schumer does it for me.

>the simple seven
>not squat, bench, ohp, diddly, row, chin and dip
Cmon

Whales can swim thousands of miles and they're still whales

Only two Genders? Really activates my almonds.

The Jews are pushing her on us like all the other degenerate garbage out there today

Amy Schumer?
m-more like Amy JEWmer rofl

heavy weight fighters who don't take roids are fat.
fedor only drinks vodka.
overroid cycles horsemeat.

your image reminded me of this
youtube.com/watch?v=irS0SuQmAGM

dude, he is smaller that 6ft. where should the weight come from except fat?
you can't put on unlimited muscles to stay in heavy weight.

RUN

ITS THE #SWOLELEFT

Do you ever wake up angry about the jews?

God, i hate fat people wearing things i fetishise. Like leather. Because I fetishise leather, if I see a fat person in it i'm uniquely disgusted because I also associate them with sex.

Same when i come across fat dominatrices or fat people in latex/bondage.

>livestrong.com
weeeeeeew

Aw man that picture is too cute
My ex loved cooking. Hated cuddling.
I love eating. Love cuddling
It was never meant 2 b

oy vey

>hated cuddling
Nobody hates cuddling. She probably just hated your guts.