Mental Health

I left a 10 year relationship. Never once thought of suicide, though I was the one doing the breaking-up. Still, suicide over a girl? Nah.

it's not over a girl, it's over lack of a girl

i don't care about anything in life other than having 1 person who understands me and can be with me, nothing has ever given me pleasure in life and i've never been happy at any point in almost 40 years

I'm having a hard time maintaining an erection (no pun intended). I just recently hooked up with this gorgeous blonde and I just couldn't keep it up. It happened twice now and I'm worried it'll happen tonight

Guess I overtrained. Was hitting weights hard lately, trying to increase weight too often while also eating on a deficit. Popped a vein in my right forearm like half an hour ago, got very woozy and went home. Now I'm cooling it - figure doctor visit shouldn't be necessary, but there must be something else wrong with me since I got very lightheaded from popping that vein.
Though I've been drinking coffee daily to stay productive and also using a pre-workout most of the time so probably just too much of everything.

Oh, and the breakup was a month ago so that's what I'm running away from/trying to deal with. Do I have to go to the doctor with a popped vein?

>Popped a vein in my right forearm like half an hour ago, got very woozy and went home. Now I'm cooling it - figure doctor visit shouldn't be necessary, but there must be something else wrong with me since I got very lightheaded from popping that vein.

Go to the doctor right now. This should never happen.

Stop using caffiene before you work out. You guys are fucking insane. That's literally a way to die. I cannot understand why products are sold for this purpose other than to kill people

Trust me, you don't want to have a brain aneurysm. Trust me. Thinking every single second of your life from that point on might be your last and never able to let go of that feeling.

I getchu, bro. I'm 36, 'bout to leave my current girl for the same reason. She doesn't get me, or life in general for that matter. Women I've dated or known on a friendly basis have turned out to mostly be children in adult skin.

I went on a date with a girl today. She was nice and kinda awkward. We got lunch and then smoked afterwards. I'm trying to decide if I should call her back though. She was nice but kind of boring and a loser.

mine is like an alpha who is super succesful way more fit than me (on top of losing 60 pounds to ge tthere) and has just always succeeded at everything in life

im currently a dyel neet. makes it feel inevitable that it'll end. but she loves me. why is life this way?
it's almost like god exists and he's like "i will throw you this one bone because i know you would've committed suicide 5-6 years ago without her"

Don't waste your time.

Why is caffeine bad before workout?

>girl smoked with you
>you didnt fuck her

no reason to call her back she already knows you have no cock

DO NOT DO THIS
THE MEDICATION THEY GIVE YOU IS NOT FOE YOUR OWN GOOD
THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT MAKING YOU A BUSY WORKER BEE AND A GOOD CONSUMER
YOUR ENTIRE LIFE WILL BE A FOG
GRAY MIST OF MEDIOCRITY
DO NOT TAKE MEDICATION
DO NOT LISTEN TO PSYCHIATRISTS

Injured my shoulder and haven't been able to lift
Without working out I don't have the same appetite.
Down 12 pounds :( all my gains I'm going back to skele

Change your attitude or you'll lose her. Not only is it beneficial to your own mental health to have a positive view of yourself, but there aren't many people, male or female, who want to spend time with someone who is constantly negative.

why the fuck would you intentionally raise your blood pressure and heart rate before working out???

the "drive" you gain from the caffeine does not replace the wiggle room you had to work out harder before your bp and hr were meaninglessly elevated

literally NOBODY did this until they started selling those fucking "this is designed to kill you" supplements with ephedrine and shit too

>Cut has been going great for over a month
>Yesterday fucked up due to some emotinal issues and put on a lb or 2
>Today overeating again
>Hoping this stops today, and after my last meal I hope to go back to cutting properly
>Something isn't right and I am losing it senpai
>Just keep eating the feels away right
>The cut might end this week if I fuck it all up

.....

I tried making a move but she shut me down.

did i say i was ever negative around her? she also has the type of mental fortitude you wouldnt believe anyway

People, especially those who know you well, can tell how you feel. You don't have to fucking come out and say it. If she doesn't know you have this mindset already, then she doesn't know you very well then does she? Why waste your time on someone who doesn't know you?

In my arm man, it's not like it's in my head or something
Thank you for the concern - and yes, I will probably get off the caffeine for a while. Since I was put on ritalin as a kid, I seem to be prone to stimulant abuse.

Having second thoughts about the college and major I choose. I haven't started yet and I'm already looking for schools to transfer to.

I've been waiting four years for this and I'm even excited anymore.

This is normal, the truth is you need to stop over thinking everything, otherwise you'll either never go ahead with it, or you won't take opportunities that will transform your life.

Just do it

I'm turning 30 next year and have been slightly losing my mind lately

I have a career where I am good at work, great with the technology but don't really care about the 9-5 grind anymore and I feel useless. I am worried for the future since I'm stuck in a desk job and I don't really do much outside of work at all. Any hobbies I've enjoyed before I just don't feel up to it anymore and hobbies usually take up too much time. I'm looking at some new property I'll be buying but not sure if I should even go down this road in life since next year I'm turning 30, and I'll be tied down to a mortgage even though I'm alone, with no family nearby and no friends.

Other area of concern

I'm starting to study again for my profession and to take my career into the next level, I love the work and have an honest passion for this stuff but I'm worried I'm giving up my life and my own free time to make more money and to advance in the field. Its a constant battle in my workplace and I can't even stand some of the people since they've been in the desk job lifestyle for a while and they fight/bitch about the dumbest shit, it is all for show and everyone wants to put someone else down for small time praise...

The job is good, but I'm not enjoying life anymore at all and don't see a reason to live in the US anymore either, I could take all my money and move somewhere else for a while to enjoy life again, but I don't know anymore, I've begun seeing life as a time clock and my time is running out. I'm 30 next year, and most females I meet find out quickly that I'm a workaholic and that is a turnoff

>though I was the one doing the breaking-up
that's a pretty fucking big "though"

I'm feeling amazing lately after 3 years of reenacting Leaving Las Vegas in Wales, bipolar is a hell of a drug. Nothing's going to make the sad bros ITT feel any better right now, just cling on to the fact that it really is temporary and if people can manage shit like schizophrenia there's a way out for you. I'd got to the point where I thought it was permanent and given up all hope, now I'm pretty much fine again and getting my life sorted so it won't just be another trainwreck when it hits me again.

I dropped out after 2 years because my major (computer science) was shit.

It was the best school in the country too but I have no regrets, at lwast I won't have to do that for a living.

i started drinking again

I'm contemplating doing the same

No one feels good leaving a 10 year relationship. It was a difficult decision I made for two adults, one of whom didn't think I was making the right decision. Ultimately, I was vindicated. We are both much happier several years out than we were together. It definitely hurt a lot to leave her.

Stop

>In my arm man, it's not like it's in my head or something

yeah, the difference being that the blood vessels in your arm are stronger and more removed from central circulation than those in your brain.

There's just no reason to stimulants workout. It's a bad fad that needs to die. Dudes are probably dropping dead all over from the shit.

Yeah obviously but still you weighed the ups and downs and came up with a decisiom. It's different when you're enjoying a relationship or it's even the driving force in your life and all of a sudden the other person tells you it's over. You don't get to weigh positives and negatives and even if you do and end up deciding you should stay it doesn't matter.

Man, you're right. Shit fucks with my emotional levels too. Easy fix to stay productive, but the cost is not worth it really...

I get that. I've been broken up with, too. The point is that when someone thinks the relationship isn't working, it's not working for *both* people, even if one doesn't feel that (yet).

i just am very very extremely against poeple taking stimulants and working out, as someone who had a cerebrovascular event due to stimulants.

btw, many years ago i broke a blood vessel in my arm too doing ecstacy, and i never stopped abusing stimulants. thats why im telling you all this now. I doubt you're going to have a brain aneurysm, almost nobody actually does. But stimulants are just..bad shit breh

I know I'm extremely paranoid and over think everything. I want to stop, but that's easier said than done.

I don't hate my major (or at least I don't think I do), but there's other shit I'd rather do. I took an astronomy class my last semester of high school and fucking loved it.

My parents are paying for everything, so I don't want to be an ungrateful asshole and ask to switch schools before I even start.

Thanks for looking out for others, dude. Luckily I never got into any stronger stuff, though I was offered cocaine a bunch of times.

...

>finally get job at a restaurant as busser
>slow to pickup the job but finally settle In to the work after a month
>inside source worker gossip apparently I'm canned in two weeks
I thought I was making friends and doing my job well, but apparently this shade is now following me and I dont know what to do, is there anything I can do for these two weeks to save myself?
I thought I was finally going to make it

Life is a mess of 'good but also bad but could be worse and maybe things will change for the better or get insanely worse'.

If I didn't have lifting and exams to keep me in check I'd likely start breaking shit out of anger (honestly get that temptation some days).

I'm also dreading summer and want autumn to come sooner since I'm gonna have to wagecuck for three months straight with little control over free time, diet and lifting routine.

just talk to whoever would have been watching you and made the decision, explain that you thought you'd settled in and if you're fucking anything specific up it's not because you're just a shitty worker. Best case he tells you what's up and you can correct it, worst case he doesn't like it and fires you which is going to happen anyway.

What should I say?

depends what your manager or whatever is like and how much of a 'secret' it was that you're getting fired. If he's cool and it's not going to be a big problem bringing it up just be honest

>I heard I was for the chop and I don't know why
>I thought I was getting along ok, is there anything I can do better if it's not just a random firing?

maybe they just have to let someone go and you're the new guy, if so no hard feelings right

So I should bring up that I'm being canned?

I dunno m8 like I say it depends who you're talking to and how well you know them, just don't be a robot and pitch it how you think you should. If it's supposed to be a secret just ask casually if there's anything you could improve on maybe

I'm okay. I'm getting out of NEETdom finally and enrolling in my local uni. I'm anxious about it (which is what caused my NEETdom in the first place) but I'm working on that best I can. I really have to make it this time, it's fly or fall to my death.

8 months on Antidepressants (Sertraline), started lifting 10 weeks ago, got a full time job starting in 2 weeks and finally looking at moving out after 6~ years of depression and anxiety holding me back.

For once, things are actually looking better for the future. Working out has been one of the best things I've ever done and I severely regret waiting until I hit rock bottom at 25 years old to start doing it.

Damn this makes me fucking happy. Good fucking job user I'm proud as fuck of you.
>moving out after 6~ years of depression and anxiety holding me back.
What were the main things that you think helped you get over the anxiety (and depression)?
Also
>I severely regret waiting until I hit rock bottom at 25 years old to start doing it.
Some people never make it out bro, some people sort their shit out at 30, 40 even fucking 50 years old. You're a lil babby.

Confirming this, I'm 30 and thought I was going to be a piece of shit for life but I'm doing pretty good. 'It's too late' is just another creeping excuse

>What were the main things that you think helped you get over the anxiety (and depression)?
It's hella cliché but like I said, I hit rock bottom where I was waking up at 4pm, constantly tired, lonely, inside my head 100% of the time over thinking absolutely everything. I finally got sick of it and talked to a Doctor. It's incredibly cliché but just the act of talking to one other person about it is genuinely so fucking helpful. Even if you know logically you're not the first person to ever be depressed it's still really hard to knock that embarassment to ever get help. If you have no one to talk to about it, talk to a Doctor, I was scared shitless but now looking back at it I feel silly that I didn't do it years ago.

>Some people never make it out bro, some people sort their shit out at 30, 40 even fucking 50 years old. You're a lil babby.
Yeah definitely, it's one of those better late than never things. And I can only go up from here so I've got that to look forward too.

Good shit my dude.

This has been the worst year of my life lads. It's all been pretty bad my life but this year has been absolutely fucking awful. Quit my job of 4 years 6 months ago after having a complete mental breakdown and I honestly feel like I'm going crazy. I've had a headache since leaving and I don't feel like I'm me anymore. Suicidal anxiety is worst its ever been and I'm certain I have autism or bdp or something, whatever it is I'm fucked. Haven't worked out in 2 years. I can pinpoint the moment my life turned to shit and its the moment I said I'd work night shifts full time, lost all motivation to work out, became weak as fuark and I'm just skinny fat now. I've just been looking at old progress videos from my peak and I looked ripped as fuck. I want to get back there but my back is ruined from my job. It was the only thing I liked doing and I can't do it anymore. Reminder btw to take progress pics, if you ever turn into a pathetic sack of shit in the future its good to look back at when you were a demigod.

Sounds like you've been hit by a truck lad. Not sure how much I can help, but you need to take it one step at a time. I think you need to get yourself to a gym. That's all you need to do for now. Go to the gym tomorrow, lift some weights.
Please make it happen.

anxiety attacks used to only come for parts of a day every couple weeks or so
this year, im having physical anxiety symptoms most days. i feel like i cant catch my breath, im scared im dying all day.
the time between places are filled with dread and "whats the point" thoughts and i constantly think of killing myself

I wont do it but its just what i think about when im not with people or partying and shit.

Bro now that you have all this free time you should dedicate it to making more money. Not by working more, no the complete opposite. Learn how to make just one source of passive income, and then you're set. You will be better off than 99% of the population, and will know how to make more if you want. Imagine one day you can be sitting around and have the money roll on in. You can get your old gf back and have threesomes with her mother.

I want to lad. I have the will to but my back is completely fucked. I guess I need to go through physio for like a year before I can start a proper routine again.

This. Sounds like you still have a job and your life basically running, you should be looking at it more like arresting your fall and getting back into good habits rather than starting from square one. Go to the gym for a couple of weeks, force yourself to go even if your mind says 'fuck it too late anyway'. Once you get the good feels from achieving that apply them to everything else and work on constantly getting little reward hits from dealing with things instead of avoiding them.

People always say this but never really offer specific advice. Only thing I can think of would be to make an app or start off rich and invest.

Go and do some cardio and bicep curls. You don't need to go all in 100% dedication counting macros to the T and following a designated program. Just go do some curls and jog for a little bit, get the feeling for it.

I'm making money with Uber and we'll do a bartender course wich I think I'll do great, then I'll move to her city, first because of me (I can't stand my family anymore), and if I get her back it will be a bonus. I'm trying to focus on this:

money and body, hopefully in december I'll be a big lad and with some cash and a job in the new city.

>will* do
fuck

Thanks, I think I will. Got nothing but free time I guess I could try starting again, at least doing some light stuff. It's hard to put into words how destroyed I feel right now. Its like, even when I have great intentions, like right now I feel extremely motivated about this and melancholy about the past but I'll wake up tomorrow and its like I'll reset, everything will be lost and I'll be suicidal again. Can't seem to brute force it as easily as I used to. Appreciate the words though lads.

I'm doing pretty bad. I'm not making gains and I'm just pretty much lost in life. I dropped out of college because I was hating my major and my classes. I've been working at the same dead end retail job for the past 7 years. I'm trying to get out and find a nice office job, but I can't even get that. Like the requirements for the job is a high school diploma and some college exp and I cant even get those jobs.

I've also bee doing no fap. I still get wet dreams and I kinda want to jerk off, but when I do get my dick out I just feel ashamed and then I just stop. The loneliness is also getting to me too. Not ever having a gf really fucks with you.

I'm still young (23), so I guess I have time to turn myself around, but holy fuck at the same time I feel like such an oldfag.

Keep up with the no fap, if you fail then at least do no porn.

Jobs can be hard, but keep trying, eventually you'll find something.

I was 23 too when I had my first gf, you still can win at life user, I believe in you.

>I'm still young (23)

literally stopped reading, and I'm not trying to be a dick. You're young as fuck m8, people get let out of murder basements when they're older than you and go on to good lives. You've no business sitting around wondering where it all went wrong

>Want to text girl that I like because she's my friend and I am lonely
>Also realize that if I'm too desperate she won't like me
>but if I don't text her she will think I don't care.
>Want to like her
>realize I only like her and other women that talk to me because I am lonely, and I should find inner peace before I try to get into a relationship
>Wonder where we stand
>Want to date her but don't
>Realize we will one day break up\
>But I gotta live in the moment
>I will see her on Monday
>maybe
>Gotta treat every day like your last
>but if you fuck up and it isn't your last day you have to live with it
>but you shouldn't regret the past because you can't change it.
>Why am I thinking about this gril so much
>maybe I do like her
>I realize I'm still lonely so probably not
>cycle repeats.

I'll probably just text her Friday, because I do want to talk to her.

I think

I've been living a pseudo-NEET state for 2 months now and it's about to end next monday. I don't want it to end. I've made huge gains, read books, socialized. Life has been amazing when you have 16 hours a day to yourself.

All I want is to be NEET forever.

Hey man. I'm currently in the process of breaking up with my 8 year high school girlfriend. She is the only person in the whole world who understands me, and the tragic irony is that she knows she can't provide what I'm seeking - meaning and purpose.

She represents to me all the happiness that a normal life would have to offer, she's a fit, cute, innocent and beautiful. It is such a heavy burden to walk away from this relationship knowing that I will never find anybody as pure as her ever again.

How do I stay strong in my resolve? Every day feels like torture.

>very depressed
>functional

pick one.

Why do you want to breakup with her? Are you both loyal? Do you talk to each other about what's going on?

Legit interested.

>tfw lived that NEET life for years at a time and been too fucked up to use it properly

If I could have traded my time away to someone who'd actually use it I would

so, why break up with her then? unless what you just said were meaningless words you don't actually believe, it sounds like you love her.

You dont want to be NEET brother. Not unless you have 5mil in a mutual fund, a plethora of hobbies and wonderlust.

It is a tired phrase but "don't be down on yourself" is super true, think on it. It's a self-defeating cycle. Take it from someone who was ready to kill themselves six months ago.

The thing that no one likes to talk about is that in one way or another EVERYONE gets caught in ruts. Lots never make it out, or just get themselves stuck in another one right after they free themselves. What makes a difference, and trust me on this, is pure stubbornness. Keep pushing, keep chasing, and you'll find something. At the same time, it helps to learn to love the chase, love the idea of relentlessly clawing your way forward. You ARE going to make it.

Well, I rationalize everything, I'm kinda good at doing things even if I don't really feel like it if I know they will be good for me in long term, gym is one of these things.

Today I broke my mediocre deadlift PR, I'd be pretty happy about if in other times but now I can't feel a thing, I just go and lift thanks to the habit and knowing I'll be looking good by the end of the year.

Lying in bed won't help me to get her back, to look good or to get money to move out, so I do stuff even though I'm feeling like shit and wish I didn't exist.

You Status: Literally Me

I do have a plethora of hobbies, and I don't need 5mil to do them.

The only real reasons I work is so I can afford to live in this neighbourhood and the hope that I get enough money saved up to go on a long vacation abroad. And maybe a dog one day.

But getting a taste of freedom I gotta say I'm doubting if it's worth it.

>25
>1/2/3/4, fit
>steady government job, 70k AUD a year
>close group of friends, play sport with all of them and their SOs every week
>just started a side business with my best friend that's starting to take off
>still have an overwhelming desire to throw it all away to go be a hermit somewhere

Being with her makes me happy, but in a numb sort of way. To me she's not a real person but symbolises the abstract feeling of being content and normal. I get the very deep feeling that I haven't found what I was put on this Earth for. On some level I know the search is in vain, that's the tragic thing about leaving everything behind. It's very selfish and self-destructive but I feel compelled to do it...

Not sure why I'm posting this. Probably trying to get people to talk me out of it.

...

I need a second opinion here. Should I stop browsing /r9k/? I think its turning me into even more of a retard.

>Should I stop browsing /r9k/?

YES

If you're already depressed then you should avoid that board like its the plague.

Yes. Tbh I just browse /mu/ and Veeky Forums right now because they are inoffensive. I'm just here for mental health and self improvement threads, I grew out of the memes and baits here.

honestly if you feel like any part of 4chins is actually affecting your thoughts and behaviour IRL you need to fucking quit and go for a lot of long walks. This site is a dumping ground for all kinds of people, you don't look at a shitpile and go 'that's how I want to be'

The difference between r9k and fit is that while we both might hate the society and women especially Veeky Forums believes in your own power to improve while r9k just wants to dwell in misery and reassure each other that they aren't to blame for their problems.

So yes you should quit going to r9k.

Okay, I think I'm going to stop going to the shit boards. I don't think I can go cold turkey on the whole of Veeky Forums though. I guess at my worst I ended up going to r9k because I thought I could relate to people there, it was nice but it slowly makes even more fucked up than you are without realising it. Hate to say it but I was much more mentally sound when I just browsed reddit.

reddit makes you a soft pussy. it's a circlejerk patting each other on the back that by design hides any controversial opinion. the whole tree structure makes discussion impossible in any other way than a chain of messages that agree with each other and the point system makes it so that people intentionally "play it safe" and try to post whatever they think might please the most people. which in practice means puns and memes.

stick around here for inspirational threads about making progress at least. Veeky Forums isn't harmful in itself, it's only bad if you start taking it seriously and letting internet dickheads bother you

I completely agree. Its hard to go back there now really. The worst thing about it is if you say something someone disagrees with, they don't say why, they just down vote. Its dissmissive as fuck, I'd rather be called a cuck on here.

You have the calling. I have it too. I'm not as set up as you but I have a deep longing in my soul to drop it all and be a spiritual hermit. Monasteries exist for a reason my friend.

I bulged my disc again by lifting a drawer, legs numb again. It sucks but I gotta power through it if for myself.

>3am
>dropped out of uni yesterday
>play a song
>start crying a few moments ago

i'm wobbling lads