MIRE THREAD

sometimes it's the littlest things that inspire the biggest boners

>Working at shit grocery store job
>See chick at in a line looking at me
>Look back
>It's a dude wearing a wig with hot pink lipstick

Still would have fucked it, no homo

lol this is comedy

>female co-worker says i have really good jawline (cut is almost oveR)
>then says i should never have children
dont know how to feel

I gotta say I get harder wood from bikini mirror selfies than I get from three niggers spitroasting a chick

>last year
>I was 18 years old
>at a water park with 3 more friends
>they were also 18
>lifting for a year at the time and seeing some gains
>looking better than the average joe, but obv still dyel by Veeky Forums standards
>we get in to a big pool
>see 4 young girls are looking at us and giggling
>we start to play around at the pool doing dumb stuff like jumping and shit
>they start to do exactly the same as us and stare a lot and giggle
>we don't want anything to do with those girls because they're probably 12 years old
>even at that age they're already pretty slutty
>one of the girls flexes a 'cep looking at me and giggles
>they start swimming and showing their ass in the bikini
>one of them looks at me in the eye for a good 5 seconds and bites her lips
>they get closer and closer and I decide to ask how old they are
>they look at each other and all of them say they are 13 years old
>probably lying
>they ask how old we are
>we all say 18, one of the guys lie he is 16
>one of the girls says "no one has to know"
>they get away for some reason
>me and my friends just get out of the pool because we're not pedos
>I don't know how girls that age already have tits and butt, it's mind blowing

Posted this the other day, but the thread was almost dead

TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW

What, like you specifically shouldn't have kids, or just general cynicism?

yeah dude i only fuck 18 and up. girls arent ready until then.
17 pedo
16 pedo
it blows my mind that girls are ready to go at 13/14
must be society or something
i was always taught girls are only ready at 18
they dont even have tits or nothin until 18
yeah we must have picked the 18 and up law because that is simply human nature
i dont question it at all lol
i see a 17 year old with tits and im all like... wait a minute this is sicko lol
must wait until this child is the real woman age
just thinking about 16 and 17 year old little girls is making me gag

Is this some new way to do hyperextensions?

youtube.com/watch?v=r80kSTVoPUY

watch the whole thing

>I know ur jk brah just watch

You'll get older and those girls will look younger and younger, eventually 18 year olds even look too young. Its perspective as you get older.

>tfw those feet won't be in your face

it's called early puberty, user. Probably steroids in the food. Should of got their Snapchat for fun.

good vid

> be me. I'm 27
> fuck old friend from grade 7 and 8
> start lifting seriously
> 6 months no contact. Making serious gains.
> meet up again. Looking good, feeling good.
> drinking
> get into bed with her
> clothes coming off
> "holy shit user you didn't have this body before"
> popped a 20mg cialis so I'm beyond diamonds
> holding her down, choking her, pulling her hair.
> make her cum, she's looking pretty beaten up and satisfied
> cum on her ass
> she curls up on my chest and falls asleep

The end

Such is life in Canada

i was thinking the same way...gotta hit them high sets.

Hey this story is me.

>be me, 27
>kissless virgin
>lifting for a year with no gains, still can't bench lmao1pl8
>try nofap to increase test levels
>cave in after day 3, cum all over myself
>curl up in a ball, fall asleep

Age of consent where I live is 16. Didn't know that before. Go figure.

...

it's 16 where I live too user
USA just has federal law of 18, technically the feds could come in and prosecute if 16-17 but they probably will never do that

14 in my country

...

>underwater goodmornings
not bad

Hey man I'm 23 and even 18 sounds questionable. It's tough cause I know a lot of cuties who are 17 and into me. I have a preference for 21-23 and feel comfortable with 19-20 but anything younger it starts getting creepy imo.

I'm 27 and there's nothing like teenage pussy you massive faggot

Story of my tinder date tonight

>Arrive at girls house
>Prepare to be fatfished like several other times but whatever, still gonna get drunk and bang
>Beautiful eoman walks out the house
>Looks better than pics
>Literally jump out of truck to open door for this goddess
>Her eyes go huge
>"Wow user! You look even bigger than you do in your pics!"
>"Th-Thanks, you too."
>Jk, play it smooth and say some shit about how they were older pics
>Have a genuinely fun time drinking and eating wings
>She caresses the ceps and chest all night
>Bring her home and don't have sex because this woman is wonderful
>Make out and grab the butt

Now I'm home and playing it cool until I figure out something worthy of this woman. What do guys?

Yeah, I'd be fine with anything over 16 desu, I'm 19 now. Anything below that is just weird as shit. I'd only do it if no one knew about it

Don't put the pussy on a pedestal and you'll be fine.

I'm proud of you user, so make us proud.

>be me
>always fat but managed to convince myself for years that its not noticeable
>look in the mirror one day and look fat as fuck
>weight myself
>technically obese
>start eating dramatically less, and manage to lose 40% of my weight in 7 months
I am now 5'10 and 137 lbs (62.1 kg)

Don't put her on a pedestal, should just have fucked her. But now obvs second date

Ya'll shouldn't be thinkin like that;
she's worthy and so are you mate tat's how you play it cool

...

kek

We should blood eagle you.

>Viking punishment
You think they didn't know theres nothing like 16 year old pussy?

I remember being 22 and there was this hot af 16 year old girl that would always come to my house parties and wanted to get stuffed hard, but everyone pussed out cause we thought 16 was too young. (even though it was legal)

Now I'm 27 and it's not legal and I fully regret my decision

Im exaggerating my spergness for the greentext. I normally just bang and deuce out but I developed legitimate feelings for this woman in the 2 hours we were hanging out. Only had 1 other serious girlfriend and she cheated on me when she went home to visit family so not sure how to work my life out.

>Working out today at uni gym
>dark haired milf with a decent rack takes the bench next to mine doing bicep and shoulder stuff while moaning (I guess that's what girls do instead of grunting)
>keeps looking at me, make eye contact a few times
>follows me to the cables when I leave my bench

This has happened every Wednesday for 3 weeks. It's the end of the semester in a week, should I smash? a classmate of mine is my oneitis so I don't know

>should I smash?
duh
>classmate of mine is my oneitis
are you dating them?

Following qt around gym today and she asked me to please stop instead of the usual getting staff members to throw me out.
I must be approachable now with all the gains or something.

>Literally 4 months into lifting
>Eating well, going hard, doing mad volume
>Amazing genetics, great looking face
>Grip the shit out of everything since day 1, grip train when bored - my forearms are crazy big
>Cable rows, got a crazy pump
>Get up to let gym bro do his thing
>35+ year old squat bunny making eye contact with me while she walks across gym, literally holds eye contact for like 30 seconds

feels good man

f-for you

As a 20 year old, this kind of shit motivates me breh.

>it
well done

Duuuude... I have some strong feels for you bro. How old are you?

Did they touch your pecs?

>yeah dude i only fuck 18 and up. girls arent ready until then.
Wrong (from a biology perspective).
>17 pedo
>16 pedo
Wrong (depends on country).
>it blows my mind that girls are ready to go at 13/14
Correct (Biology). Also Precocious Puberty can mean it's as low as 9 or 12.
>must be society or something
Wrong (Well, sort of.)
>i was always taught girls are only ready at 18
Correct (Legal safe spot 4u). Top kek they can't drink until 21.
>they dont even have tits or nothin until 18
Definitely wrong (it's God's test to Man). Oppai Loli irl is Satan's work.
>yeah we must have picked the 18 and up law because that is simply human nature
Wrong (wtf m8?)
>i dont question it at all lol
You should (but only for an interesting exercise in to the depravity or your own sense of morality and ethiccs.)
>i see a 17 year old with tits and im all like... wait a minute this is sicko lol
Except there'd be some 22yo dude out there slamalamming her, specially in poorer areas.
>must wait until this child is the real woman age
Congrats, you're not a kebab.
>just thinking about 16 and 17 year old little girls is making me gag
You must be gagging at the thought of missing out when you were that age, and at the r9k level rage that by the time they get to you they're basically roasties.

>go to pharmacy to pick up antibiotics because I've got a sinus infection
>feel like shit
>walking out past the cash register
>qt3.14 cashier tells me to have a good night and smiles at me
>thanks you too
Started feeling a bit better. Totally could have smashed but I'm too tired because sick.

>Not wanting a 25-30ish woman with the THICC attribute.

I workout with her sometimes and I don't want them crossing paths if I were to smash

low key how did you get cialis as a 27 year old. Im 23

Backextensions are getting serious

>2012
>in office
>doing my stuff at my desk
>today my boss brought his wife to work
>42 year old hot busty brunette with big tits
>they were going to a play i think
>i was madly into coke back then
>also on tren ace, weighted about 97kg at 178cm
>check if no one is around
>make my line
>snort my way to heaven
>fuckthisisawesome.jpg
>put it back on my case
>"hey don't pack that yet"
>turn around
>it's my boss' wife
>arrhythmia
>my heart goes so fast with the coke and the adrenaline i though i'd die
>"w-what"
>"i see you have a little left, mind if i take a little?"
>what the fuck is happening
>"ehm, sure"
>she snorts all i had left, which was almost twice i snorted earlier
>who the fuck is this woman
>"thanks user"
>winks and goes away to my boss' office
>bruh
>happy i didn't get fired, but mad at the bitch who had just snorted hundreds of dollars of my cocaine
>i was an addict, so piss off
>end of my working hours
>packing all my things, this time i won't leave anything on my drawer in case the bitch changes her mind about my drugs
>go to the toilet
>washing my face
>"hey"
>shit it's this bitch again
>what does she want
>"i thought we could do something even better than drugs"
>this bitch thinks sex is better than coke, lmaaaaoo
>okay then
>she starts sucking me off madly
>bruh she can suck a dick
>"fuck me user"
>i didn't have any condoms, who the fuck expects to fuck at work?
>"no problem, we do it raw and you cum on my tits"
>proceed to do that
>that was amazing
>still not better than cocaine though
>go home
>never see her again
>boss got transfered about 3 months later
>i got fired in 5

sober for 4 years now, but drugs can give you incredible moments when they aren't fucking your life

...

what did you get fired for

>Been working out for about 7 months now
>Doing lat pulldowns, mega crowded gym
>Random jacked dude sidles up to me and says "looking big, man"
>I autismically say "y-you too"
>He leaves

Is this "making it" of which you speak

>lifting for a year with no gains, still can't bench lmao1pl8

Man the problem isn't feeling weird about their age, it is sustaining a conversation until they let you fuck them.

>Having a Chin
>Can shop at a normal clothes store
Have I made it? No, but I entered a better stage of my life.

they found a bloody syringe in the thrash can, everyone knew it was me, so they offered me a silent resignation and they wouldn't sue me
i took it

>roiding at work
Cmon man

>lifting for a year

"I worked out a year ago, and I worked out today. Still no gains bro."

i was one of the craziest guys in melbourne, i say to myself when life gets hard "if i lived through 2011-2013, then i can take this"

You may be a literal homosexual.

i was joking you spaz

great story, saved

also, got any more pics of pokemon girl?

kys

just this one

I'm proud of you user

remy?

dunno, got from a thread on /b a while ago

I'm 21. Been in the Marines since 17. Combat deployments make you mature and lonely though friend.

>21
>combat deployments
>"deployments"

Shut your larping pog boot ass up

>Drown x F

If that doesn't motivate you to push yourself I don't know what will.

>hey doctor, i cant get hard and its costing me relationships
its that easy

>it is sustaining a conversation until they let you fuck them.
fucking kek, is it even a conversation nowadays?
They open their mouths and it just makes me want to plug my ears with a mason drill.
How do you engage in a conversation when they're literally spouting #maymays, #YOLO, #FOMO shit sprinkled with narcissism and self esteem issues?
I just shut up and say "Oh? Mm. Yeah. She didn't? Wow..." as I just touching them.
Pro-tip: When she's talking as fast as a boat motor, it's time to tell her "Hey, be quiet for a second..." or something, then kiss her.
Guaranteed smash within the next 15 minutes or your money back.

Ahh yes, good one brother. Go pick up your NAM for participation since you will obviously never see a CAR. That deployment to Afghanistan must not have happened 3 years ago.

If you're referring to the word deployments I have deployed 3 times. Once to Afghan. So I guess technically not "combat deployMENTS" my apologies you sweet beautiful thing.

> doing a line of coke at work
> at work
This nigga still thinks it's the drugs that ruined his life and not his lack of self control

>be 21
>been lifting for 3 years
>get compliments and mires every now and then
>don't know how to reciprocate when girls are being flirty because autist
>go to house party of college friend
>some known face there and a many new people
>full house
>some 16 year old girl there
>approaches me
>touches my chest and says "ur hot"
>clearly drunk
>other girl comes, apologizes and drags her away
>drunk girl was the sister of my college friend
>party goes on and I talk to some people
>play beer pong
>it's getting late and people start leaving
>friend says I can sleep over so I don't have to take the train back home
>nice.gif
>gives me a blanket and I go lay on the couch
>try to fall asleep but insomnia is my arch enemy
>get up to take a piss
>go to bathroom
>when I'm done, I close the bathroom door and notice another room next to it
>door is open
>peak inside
>it's his little sister
>only wearing underwear and a small top, legs and spread on the bed
>her eyes closed
>not really asleep, more like in that stage when you are drunk af, dizzy and trying to fall asleep
>keep looking at her
>realize her undies are DRENCHED
>fuck it
>walk up to her
>she open her eyes and says "oh it's you"
>start rubbing her clit
>she grabs my chest and makes that "give it to me face"
>pull my pants down and slip my dick in
>we fuck and she's tight and wet as fuck
>cum
>leave to sleep on the couch
>wake up in like an hour again
>go to her room and slip it inside of her again
>no resistence or anything
>cum again
>grab my stuff and leave to catch the morning train

>just got done lifting at apartment gym
>heading back into my building
>2 girls entering a few seconds before me
>further down the hall they turn around and smile at me
>turn and go the long way

felt nice