Hey, Veeky Forums, I have a question for you. I once was infatuated with a girl in high school and wanted to ask her out. I was a super nerd, out of shape, and hardly cared abut my schooling until the year I did ask her out, which was my senior year. I went to the gym for 6 months, took a bunch of advanced classes, and excelled in both of those. So, fast forward to April mid school year, I ask her out and long story short she heard rumors about me that weren't true, and we both handled it terribly and she thought i was a total creep. I thought this girl was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and very smart, so of course, she gets into a great university and I go to a junior college for two years. In those two years, I've become more well rounded, less of an awkward fuck, wear better clothes, have a better hair cut, more charismatic, have a great physique, taught myself guitar (Not quite a chad tho, but just a good looking, intelligent and likable person) and got accepted as a transfer student to her university. Now, my question is, should I try again? I'd wager we're both more mature and all that, so she could look beyond the first attempt and me having been an awkward fuckwit,and I would have a waaay better chance, or should I just let it go and forget she ever existed.
Hey, Veeky Forums, I have a question for you...
Sure, why not. Go for it but dont expect anything.
OP here
>The most beautiful girl I have ever seen
Thats a little hard to do, but to have any tips not to fuck it up?
I have too much pride, so in your situation I'd never talk to her again and even offend her given the chance.
Actually been in kind of the same situation. One chick who was extremely disrespectful towards me while I was dating her, so I broke up with her. About 6 months later she hits me up, I just told her to fuck off, felt kinda good
reported
fuck off
So does she still think the rumours are true? If not did she ever apologise? If she didn't then just think about that.
Also have a wank before any important decisions, that way you'll think clearer.
I never dated her tho, I only asked her out. I dont blame her for the way she reacted at all, if the "old me" wanted to date someone, then I wouldnt be surprised if he got rejected hardcore. Imagine just like a nerdy kid with the physique of gibby from iCarly, a shit hair cut and clothes that dont compliment your physique who is also loud an annoying because he thought he was the shit. Thats basically what I was.
>Still thinking about your oneitis
Stop that shit, nothing good will come of it.
No, we never really talked after that, I mean we did actually talk for a short bit and told each other their were no hard feelings and I told her how beautiful and smart I thought she was, she was flattered but we went our separate ways.
You sure, like there is absolutely nothing? I know its not healthy, and is borderline delusional (I've thought a lot about it and am very conscious of it) but I feel like if i have a shot maybe I should consider it.
It's simple. Just hang out with her and if you still have feelings for her, ask her out. If you don't, move on to other women. Just don't obsess over it.
Ok, well whatever way you go, good luck.
Im pretty sure I'll still have feelings. I know it sounds like a simple solution, like "just ask her out bro" and believe me, I understand what youre saying. It just irks me to think there will be a repeat of last time if I try to go through with it, or blah blah blah *fill excuse here*. Ive come very far to better myself, and of all the girls i've been with, most of them have become infatuated with me a long the way, but they're all crazy of had other things going and it didn't work out. I just want to know if im "worthy" per say.
Listen m8, you have had a lot of awesome self improvement but I think your creating a caricature in your head of who she as rather than who she was.
There's a lot of beautiful women out there, and being smart in high school doesn't really mean anything. You don't know what's transpired in those first two years. (they usually are very pretty for freshmen females).
Take all that you've done and you can find somebody way better than a girl who thought you were "creepy" in highschool.
She doesn't think about you user, keep the pain of her rejection moving you forward, but don't spend it thinking about her.
You're only hurting yourself if you continue and don't move on.
Well, I don't know what happened before in detail, so I can't really comment on it unless you want to share that. But I still think it's simple: If you like her, ask her out and see what happens.
I believe you, I understand what you're saying, I get it bro. I just honestly want to try my hand again, and its a very real possibility. She, in my mind, has become sort of this symbol for not being good enough. I wasn't good enough for her, and so this drive keeps me, almost manically, wanting to be better, and I want to know if im "worthy" now. *sigh* I feel like I'll never know if i dont try, and all this effort will be in vain (which I know isnt true, but i will feel that way).
Just try then. Almost all women are the same you'll find out. But every now and then you'll find one that has an actual soul (that goes for men too, but to a slightly lesser degree I find).
Believe me, I've been with plenty of women and know that to be true to an extent. However this woman was different enough for me to want to try again after all of this self improvement.
>Having your self worth and gains be contingent on some bitch who you had a weird situation with in highschool.
You're really starting to piss me off user.
What matters is that you believed you have gotten better, what if she still thinks your a creep for coming up to her after all these years?
Will you wilt like a dying flower, crushed under the might of your own perception of her?
Stop, don't tie your self image to one person.
I know you're going to do it any way and your going to approach her and talk to her anyway and I hope the best for you. But fuck user your stupid for doing this.
>the most beautiful girl I've ever seen
Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. She's some chick you don't even know.
Expect rejection and closure. If she gives you a shot just be yourself, if you worry about trying to not fuck it up you'll be even more awkward and uncomfortable.
Finally, it's already fucking weird you'd still want to go for her if things went so badly the first time.
I know, but all I need is to try, and if she doesn't want me after all this, then i'll understand that it wasn't meant to be and I'll get with some other lovely lady who will appreciate how much I've come up in progress. But if don't, there will always be a small part of me wondering, and it will cross my mind every single day and bother me. Thank you for wishing me luck, and sorry if I piss you off.
I wish you luck too, and want to reiterate what that user said about disconnecting your self-image from her. You self-improve for your own self-worth, not others. You don't keep it only for yourself, though. They get to share in it too, but you're not dependent on them for your own well-being.
Could you explain this more? I'm a little confused by your wording. I get the gist of what you mean, but I'm finding it difficult to apply this mindset to my life.
>I once was infatuated with a girl in high school
how much she squat?
da fuq would I know?
Da fuck you make this thread for? That this bullshit to
>/adv/ or some shit
He means you shouldn't improve to be good enough for her, got should improve to be happy with yourself.
It doesn't matter what she thinks, because who the fuck cares? It matters what you think, you're the guy who has to be you.
You self-improve because you respect and honor yourself and want to be the best you can be, but not for anyone outside of you. It sounds cliche, but it's because you "love" yourself, in the healthy sense of that word.
What I meant by others get to share in on that is that if you're a better person, they're going to appreciate your company a lot more than some depressed emo or social outcast. If you're stronger and more confident inside, it will rub off on those around you, and they'll be naturally attracted to that.
I understand now, I just find it hard loving myself because *blah blah blah* not gonna be a broken record to you guys, but how would I move on from ll this then and love myself?
1. Seriously this is an /adv/ thread now
2. Ask this chick out, get rejected, and fucking forget her. You didn't better yourself for her, you already recognize she's become more of a symbol than a real person anyway.
That's probably the hardest question to answer in modern times. I personally found it through meditation and then reading and reconnecting with the archetypes and ideals that Western culture used to have through its philosophy, history, and novels. Read Moby Dick, for instance, and you'll see what a real man is like. All the lectures by Jonathan Bowden on YouTube are also extremely inspiring.
This is true, but depressing. One last thing, on the slight, very very VERY minuscule chance that it works, then I will let you all know and potentially show you that hope is real. But for the more realistic chance that nothing happens, then I will still tell you guys and you can shit on me and call me a fag or help me through it all. But I appreciate all of your advice and I thank all of you for taking the time to hear me out and put up with my bullshit. Thank You Veeky Forumsizens, I respect you all and your advice.
per se*
and wish me luck.