Mental Health

General mental health stories, questions, advice.

I think I broke my dopamine.

>Be overachiever with perfect grades, fat
>Go to college, discover fitness
>Don't touch drugs or alcohol, discover caffeine
>Tons of caffiene, pre-workout, and fitness.
>Drop 40lbs and start making noob gains
>Generally enjoying life, start a bulk
>Get dangerously sick halfway in bulk, 103+ fevers
>Fevers weaken, always tired, need 500mg caffeine and advil to do anything
>Without caffeine, I will sleep 14-18hrs
>Always tired, can't drop weight anymore, lose interest in everything, can't focus
>Graduate to of class, get nice job
>Hate life, hate job, can't enjoy anything, just want to sleep
>Can't focus or be bothered to do anything. Stop all hobbies, lose interest in women, can't focus enough to play video games
>Cut caffeine down to 200mg/day
>Not depressed (only suicidal when alarm clock goes off), always tired, everything feels like a chore
>Tell doctor, put on Vyvanse, sent to psychiatrist
>Vyvanse makes me care for about 2 hours a day
>Psychiatrist diagnosis pending
>Going to quit all caffeine soon
>I'm sleepy

Mate, ignore prescription peddling doctor fags and buy some L-dopa. Take it for a few days and you'll feel like new.

>be good grades, fat
>go to college, discover fitness
>noob gains, but no real motivation beyond losing weight and getting in shape
>which is fine
>but my left arm is stronger than my right
>their difference in size is visible to me
post obscure feels

OP here.

Time is the most valuable resource. I make a lot of money, but it just sits in my bank because I have no time to enjoy it and I'm afraid I will need it for an emergency. Part-time is not a thing in my industry.

I credit most of my past fitness success to time. Fitness is easy when you don't have to work 60hrs a week.

I feel like Peter Gibbons from Office Space.

I started taking antipsychotics and balooned up so fast that I have stretch marks on my stomach near navel, biceps, triceps, armpits, back of knees, and groin. Lifting is literally fucking pointless now.

making these threads until infinity wont change your fate user. the best part is you think this is triggering. i actually prefer the birds personally.

your stick figure families are done. its a new age and you wont be a part of it...

>Have bad trip on cannabis
>suicidal, delusional and anxiety ridden for four months.
>Tries lexapro which helped the anxiety a bit.
>Gets on remeron for sleep
>Tons of other pills to keep down anxiety
>Nothing of them works except lexapro a little bit.
>Working out ocasionally. Go for long walks and runs to get exhausted. Doesn't work.
>My relationship is going in a downwards spiral. Feel like I'm gonna lose my relationship to a depression. Gets me more anxious.
>Gets on Lamictal. Seems like I'm bipoar type 2. Things get better, I enjoy stuff. I can keep a steady workout routine.
>Now I'm back on my SS-routine and havent been depressed for 4 months.
> Feels good man

>be skelly
>sedentary
>start doing calisthenics
>can't get much out of it because i am winded after a few minutes of handstanding

Is this me being weak, or is my cardiovascular level just too low?

i cant focus on the enviroment around me and sometimes i just hit shit with my limbs, i also have no drive to read or study something that bores me but is important for the future, what do?

OP Here

Strange...I feel like I had a similar experience.

>Life was awesome
>Bad nightmare
>Worried for days
>Weeks of irrational panic, then depression
>Low dose Zoloft, no effect, quit cold turkey, no difference
>Forgot and started bulk
>Got sick
>Currently:

I have to read a book and take a test for a certification that will get me a raise.

It's been a year and I can't make myself do it.

My theory is:
>Delayed gratification
>Recent events have shown me hard work can lead to disappointing failure
>Have pressing issues like errands and chores to maintain my life

implying delucions arent more healty than reality

Something can be wrong with your adrenal glands too.

I keep hearing 50/50 that adrenal fatigue is real and bullshit

>ask Veeky Forums a question
>nobody responds

Thanks faggots I'm going to go kill myself now hope your thicc circlejerk was worth it

I got stretchmarks when I started fitness. I tried topical Vit E oil for a while, nothing. I stopped caring after a while.

Mine are bad.

You don't exercise, you're a skelly, and you're doing fucking handstands. Yes, it's you being weak (handstands are mainly based on strength, not cardio).

Try eating a lot more and start a beginner lifting program.

Winded = cardiovascular. Weakness would cause muscle failure.

Start jogging, run-walks, etc. just research some general cardio conditioning. You can build cardiovascular endurance faster than muscle.

...

>have ADHD to the point where finishing a set is hard
>have depression and suicidal thoughts pretty much constantly
>have to constantly use zen principles to achieve even baseline functionality
>tfw I am convinced someone will notice eventually that I am fucked up and I will lose my job, gf, family's respect etc.

I literally don't think I could ever be alone with a gun without shooting myself. Wat do Veeky Forums how do I get out of this hole

>I am still not diagnosed, but when my ADHD started emerging (maybe correlated with less preworkout), I would spend too much time between sets.
>Suicidal thoughts, sucks man. I honestly don't know that that is like. When my depression gets bad, I get the opposite of suicidal, like fight or flight
>When I am depressed, I get afraid that I will mentally collapse lose my independence and family, and die slowly on the street.

I feel like shit, but I better than I was. Here's what I did:
>Got a new job closer to family
>Moved near my parents and family in the country
>Started jogging through rural areas (it's very therapeutic, but hard to find time for)
>Sucked up my pride and got some meds and referral to a psychiatrist.
>Began eliminating vices and hoarding money as a financial security blanket. (No porn, no lottery, no alcohol, cutting caffeine, ADHD prescriptions only when I have to work)

>have "schizoaffective-bipolar disorder"
>sick of being on meds
>ginseng gave me panic attacks when I masturbated masochistically
>wish I had the courage to kill myself but lithium is pretty strong

>still think about my fling
>Doing MMA, got involved with extra curriculars, got a job, getting a head start on next year uni
>STILL think about her from time to time

Will I just eventually forget about her? I know I shouldn't dwell on it, it's just she was my first and we got along so well, I really have no idea why she broke it off