What Are Ways To Secretly Work Out?

Sounds like a troll, but whatever.

You can look up some body weight exercises ( ex. push ups, pull ups), but you can only get so far without proper diet and weight lifting. Also, you're legally an adult now, and dont have to let your parents hold you back from living your life.

Isometrics?

>Why doesn't you mom want you to raise your testosterone?
She says it encourages violence and I get beat up at school and she thinks if I'm bigger I will be tempted to beat up the bullies

>Have you ever tried to leave the house yourself?
Yeah she asks where im going. Unless I say I'm going to my friends house she says i can't go and if i say im going to a friends house she calls to see if their parents are home.

>post some sort of proof.
How? A video of her saying "can't leave the house"?
No. it's not like that. THink of it like that guy from 21 jump street who was never allowed to leave the house

I think op does live with his mom

She says it encourages violence
How will that help
I can walk out but they'd kick me out of the house for good and that means no home.
She can say she will kick me out
I'm Chinese

Is she a single mother? Don't you have a father?

Yeah but my father gets in trouble if he argues with my mom about anything and she will threaten to divorce him.

Do calisthenics in your room
Try and get some test e

Pushups, bodyweight squats (graduating to shrimp squats and pistol squats), crunches, glute bridges

Unless they are holding college payments over you, I would leave. Find a bearable job, get a shitty apartment, maybe find a roommate to help make payments, and grind it out for a few months.

They are holding college payments over me.

Poor kid, I feel a deep pity for you with that whore of a mother
No offense intended

Show her the before and after pic of that guy from Reddit who did calisthenics for a few months and got no gains. That should allay her worries

I don't know man, your mother sounds very abusive. You either continue to play by her rules, report her into police, or wait till you ger 18, get a job and leave the house

Hope the best luck for you.

Thats my mom your talking about

LOL.
Nothing she's doing is illegal.

Well shit mate. I guess for now your options are just doing some body weight fitness, and trying to meet macros any way possible. Maybe bring up joining some some sport club, but just go lift instead?

If this isn't bait I feel very sorry for you user and good luck. If not then bump

Did your mom give her reasoning behind not wanting you to raise your testosterone?

Pfffttt HAHAHAHA

Yeah, she says it encourages violence.
whats so funny

dont get a gf you are going to be a cuck like your dad

>whats so funny
this whole thread from beginning

Your mother has a very warped view of reality.

Is your mom or dad a doctor? Tell her how working out is good for your health.
As far as secret ways to work out, just do some calisthenics, and eat right. Eating is more important anyway

BTW my internet history is monitored so don't say anything too negative about my parents.

Like they can see a live feed of what im doing. But i browse incognito so if my mouse is over my OP post they can see that but as long as i don't scroll over my OP post im good. Problem is if im reading a negative comment and they happen to be viewing.

Ok this is almost certainly bait. You wouldn't be on Veeky Forums in the first place if your mother saw your internet history.

fucking kek

What would change if you lift? You are fucking pussy, your own parents dont respect you.
You missed your chance during growing up to prove yourself and now your mother has complete control over you.
You wont do shit if you dont have mentality.

I saw this post before at the start of the year or so.

Fuck sake OP are you still a fucking bitchcuntreturd!!! or is this fake WTF!!!!!

My parents don't know what Veeky Forums is. I stay on /v/ mainly so its just videogame stuff

yes and your dear dear mother wants you to stay a spineless gimp who'll always get picked on.. that won't end after college nigga your ass is a prime target for mobbing if you don't fix your shit

i mean come on son... "he might actually defend himself" "testosterone in a man is bad"

where the fuck is your father... shit nigga where u live i'll adopt your ass and let you lift in peace. shieet

My father doesn't agree with my mom but he gets in trouble if he says anything. She threatens to divorce him. My mom says that if someone beats me up and i fight back im just as bad as the bully.

Thanks for this op this week been fucking trash but you made me laugh. I know it's in your culture to respect parents but no offense the Chinese have lots of dumb fucking customs. Save up and get a apt. No reason to birch unless you live in nyc or LA

LOL I remember my Mom telling me that, I went for a long while like that even allowing those who were weaker than me to bully me.

Then one day I just hit back and everything stopped.

This sounds so asian it is not even funny anymore.
user, you need to go get your mom some professional help. This is seriously dangerous. Move back to China or something and have her indicted.

I don't even care if this is bait, this is delightful. Reminds me of the Shrek basement guy.

whats the story of that?

I don't have the screencap ready, basically user talking about "being allowed to use their old laptops and dvds" in his basement, with "them" being the "people who live above his basement. also he had fucked up hands that looked literally like shrek's

I butchered that one didn't I.

That's not me but i should research it im being kicked off the computer now tho

>/v/ is mostly videogame stuff
>/v/ is a parent safe board to begin with, and not a festering hole of worrying rampant autism
thread's over, go home lads

mate, join the military
judging from your english you're an american chinese. Just enlist army, air force preferably navy to get as far away from your harpy of a mother as possible.
you'll have food shelter and they might even pay for your tuition. And they will fix your "i'm still 14 years old" mentality.
You're on a path of misery and emotional agony if you don't turn around now and start running.
Best of luck chap

lel at tiger parenting. I rebelled starting at 12 m8. I was never happier than the day my mom told me I was a huge disappointment to her.
You're just going to be a quivering wreck of an adult, stockholm syndromed into looking after those jew cunts.
I mean it has a small upside that a number of children raised like this will turn out to be the golden a graders for life but they'll be soulless shits.
The downside is the huge number of dropouts and emotionally abused losers, bred to be betas and shamed by their families, "why aren't you as good as x's son"

I'm not allowed to join the military. My parents will disown me if I don't become a lawyer since everyone else in my family are doctors or investment bankers or engineers and there are no lawyers so my parents want a lawyer in the family. And i don't need tuition money my parents are willing to pay for my school but i have to live at home.

My mom did tell me i was a dissapointment a few times worst days of my life.

His mom probably wants him to change a gender and too high testosterone would prevent it!

Holy shit is this how traps are made?

So, who cares faggot? Doesn't sound like she loves you. She probably only wants you to take care of her when she gets old and can't wipe her own ass. Is that what you want you fucking chink? Do you want to wipe your mothers ass when you turn 30 for the next 20 years until she dies? Think about you fucking mongrel.

hahahaha is this real?

post pics of your butt you lil sissy
lawyer my dick you little fagget, and don't forget to swallow.. else i'll tell your mom

no homo

post link

>why aren't you as good as x's son
>x's son got an A in the class, why did you get a B?
>why is x's son a higher position on the varsity team?
You're giving me fucking ptsd flashbacks I didn't even know I had, fuck you

Are most Chinese men like This?

That only works if you're white

Your mom sounds like an abusive feminist cunt. Tell her you're a man and supposed to have testosterone and big muscles, and if she doesn't like it too fucking bad.

Tell your mom if she doesnt let you work out, you'll beat her up.

>This is considered acceptable in China
Are you telling me there's at least half a billion of your kind of cuck, OP?
Are all chinese women like this?

Your mom is a cuntwhore, your father is a cuck and you are mentally retarded. Not joking about any of these.

There are almost no chinese women below 40, due to the 1 kid policy and all of them wanting sons

Yes, that's why the majority of them are mindless drones with no ambitions or personality, the ones that manage to break out of that lifestyle end up super rich because everyone else is so easy to control

i wish this was a bait

but unfortunately most of the world keeps themselves uninformed and mostly believe in magic stuff because that is fun and hard work is not

user, to live YOUR life under restriction from others to this extent is oppression. Free yourself.

THIS OP, you need to be in a masculine environment. Pack your bags and head for recruitment ASAP

im not allowed to join the military

Do you have a car that you can use?

no im not allowed to drive without my parents premission

Shit and ive been here afraid of China for so many years

You'll have to just wait it out until college is over, OP. Assuming this isn't bait.

Fucking shitty bai..
>I'm Chinese
Well fuck me I actually believe it.
Chinks and especially Chinese women are so fucking full of broscience and retarded opinions they picked up at their medicine-salesmen/doctor/ghost-exerciser its not even funny anymore.
Like eating more than one egg a day for an extended period of time WILL kill you.
Or eating whatever fruit will make your body hotter or colder and you need BALANCE IT.
Chinese mothers are the devil.

I'm sorry OP.
Tell her to get that rhin-dick from the medicineman for those gainz.

>Like eating more than one egg a day for an extended period of time WILL kill you.
>Or eating whatever fruit will make your body hotter or colder and you need BALANCE IT.
>tfw mom is as white as can be but still has that same level of momscience going on, and has been for the last 15 years after she read some stupid book that (((opened her eyes)))
feck. at least I have an average dick and no IMAX screenformat vision.

>I sit in this room which they come in once every 30 minutes to check on me.
user that's impossibe.
Considering they won't check up on you for the eight hours you're asleep that means they will invade your privacy 32 times a day.
You can do meme exercises for as long as you want but if you don't get quality protein in your diet you are going to be wasting your time.

I don't understand why you don't leave your family behind in general and join the military. Air Force will pay for your college. Who cares if they disown you

best advice in thread

I'd never thought i would be glad to be black. Thanks op

we know
run the fuck away and do it anyway
cuz you're as free as a bird now

your mom is literally ruining your life and if you cant do something about it you deserve it. take small steps to become more indepent over time, plan shit out (in your head preferably) and eventually leave. i repeat YOUR LIFE IS BEING TAKEN FROM YOU BY SOMEONE ELSE. it doesn't matter if its family.

mabey you need to be disowend to grow. I`d respect you more for leaving that enviroment than for being a doctor in that enviroment.

...

I am sorry man, seems like a bad situation. Try to be independent ASAP. And having low testosterone is really bad for you.

I wanted to disregard that as b8, but since so many here say it's possible with chinese I will take the 0.0001 % chance it isn't and reply, I would say follow this advice . Normally I don't like the military but this is honestly your best bet in your situation and you should shit on your family.

But since you aren't willing to follow that advice, just tell your mom test is good for the concentration (which is true btw) and it will help you with your study.

Just leave the family. Find a gig or two that will allow you to afford a room and finaly become a person

Seriously, live your life OP, if you're in America, you won't get shamed if you leave them.

I feel for you brother, life is hard as is, you don't need someone making it harder on you

This

i'm gonna stick a cactus up ur mums socket and then cut her head off

This is probably bait but if not get a job and get the fuck out of there you fucking pussy.

do crossfit

your gains will be invisible

this is why women are not good role models.

tell her she's retarded and go lift barbells.

Join the military or do something away from your family. This is honestly pathetic. I couldn't respect you if I knew you IRL. You'd probably masturbate in the womans bathroom like that guy did a few weeks ago at my work because you can't do it at home.

Just know that we are behind you OP, go and live your life, enjoy the few precious moments you have.

Is this kim, you scrawny little faggot?

P.S. Cannae wait to kick 'fuck out of u when we get back to college.