Without laughing

DO you really think that when OP posted that shit he expected that everybody would go like
>yeah you could to totally fuck up a gorilla with bare hands after all those years of training
????
consider yourselves baited

You haven't proven shit yet though... You probably couldn't beat up the average bulk black dude, what makes you think you would stand a chance against pure nature?

head to the zoo and find out, if mas oyama can kill bulls you can kill a gorilla, i believe in you man!

My brazillian jiu jitsu will come in great handy.
I can use any of my numerous techniques to take down an opponent i.e. leg sweep, single leg throw, etc.
From the ground, I would have the advantage and stronger power to swiftly dispatch my enemy

Haven't seen this copypasta in a while.

>Be Human.
>Evolution made you a social apex predator capable of higher reasoning, making and using tools.
>Body developed over countless years for Endurance and the ability to run at speed for some time, to hunt and avoid predators.
>"Look, a gorilla, Imma go slap it's bitch ass around"

bro for real a gorilla would just hulk smash you into the ground, i don't know why you think gorillas are slow in any way, they're fast and don't stop until your heart stops beating

Dude you don't understand. Gorillas INVENTED gorilla warfare. You cannot defeat the master of it's own art

Can a man win a gorilla without weapons? In fact, I think I can do this, I've been doing wrestling for 3 years and nearly 1 year of boxing so I do not think that gorilla would be a tough opponent for me. A couple of times I've been in the right fight and I've never lost anyone. I strongly believe that I would get a quicker life out of the gorilla than I did. I blinked on my left fist so I could hit the gastric area but then lightning fast on the right pile, probably fall, then on and throttle and gorilla alive. What do you think?

Harambe rip my nigger

>dodge his attacks

As I am sure you're aware, human fighters bounce around each other deflecting shots and taking advantage of openings. A Gorilla would bulldoze you in seconds.

Sure it's possible, but i'd bet money on the Gorilla every time.

Seeing as it will never happen, at least you impressed a few autists on an online forum with your claims. Good luck nigger, keep battling your insecurities.

This is absolutely the right way to think! You truly see the potential in our species.
Granted, gorilla's have upper body strength, but very weak legs. If I put him in a figure four leg lock the gorilla would be completely helpless

>tfw spammed this copypasta trying to make it a meme for a few days
>never amounted to anything
I can't even create memes

I'm not going to say its absolutely impossible, because people have killed grizzly bears unarmed before, but I am going to say that it is more likely that tomorrow I will win the lottery and get a hot blond girlfriend than it is for you to win a fight against a gorilla.

Honestly, I think if I hit him in the temple super hard with my index finger in a position where my mid knuckle is pinpoint, the gorilla dies

>leg sweep a gorilla
>leg sweep a creature that commonly walks on 4 limbs

>because people have killed grizzly bears unarmed before
source? also you have to consider that a a gorilla is much stronger and fast than a bear, and can no only destroy anything with their fists but can also bite and pull. just like fighting a feline is harder than a canine

All my reflexes and my reactivity have been pushed to their maximum. I'll beat him up so harsh that he'll want to suck my dick.

>Without laughing.

Totally laughing.

You gonna get raped.

A grizzly has about 100 kg weight advantage to a gorilla.

>bait thread but still enjoyable to reply to

In the future you should say you're 250lbs or something.
189 isn't shit to a full sized gorilla m8. They could bite through your entire bicep like it was a banana.
And then just imagine what they could do to your banana.

>weak legs

No, they do not.

Well what are you waiting for pussy?

Go to a jungle, bring a friend with a camera and just do that shit. Don't forget to post the results here right?

what are you waiting for? All gorilla's are vegan pussy's and you're not scared of some vegan pussy right OP?

youtu.be/-6r81UOzIHg?t=64
youtu.be/3T0z1CT-nR8?t=30

>"I can fuck up a gorilla"
>human being equal to gorilla

LOL. A chimp can rip off your arm if you agitated it, imagine what a full grown gorilla would do.

yep, now a 140kg freak could stand a chance

Well, I'm not a pussy who would back down due to a pulled vagina muscle. I fight it out like a man. Fighting is what life is all about. It is a tradition that dates back to the first human beings. If you want your kids to learn how to be men, they are going to have to learn how to fight a gorilla.

>yep, now a 140kg freak could stand a chance

Or totally not stand a chance.....

If you want to be featured on the Veeky Forums subreddit you have to post something less stupid than this

>Well, I'm not a pussy who would back down due to a pulled vagina muscle. I fight it out like a man. Fighting is what life is all about. It is a tradition that dates back to the first human beings. If you want your kids to learn how to be men, they are going to have to learn how to fight a gorilla.

You're not going to have kids if you look a gorilla in the eye.

He'll bite through your skull to scoop your brains out with a stick after he crushes your ribcage and explodes your heart in one punch.

Go for it then faggot. Go out in the jungle and challenge a fuckin silverback. You'll get your shit pushed in.Those niggas have skulls like tanks, you'll break your own hand before phasing that big boy, and not to mention the sheer fucking strength of a gorilla. They can deadlift 2000 POUNDS.

I kekd

Everything is possible with enough willpower and training. And as I wrote earlier, my speed and reflexes are insane and I have stamina like a horse. I just wait for him to get tired, and then I attack like a cobra.

Dude stop talking and go fuck up a little vegan gorilla pussy.

Don't forget the video btw.

>Everything is possible with enough willpower and training. And as I wrote earlier, my speed and reflexes are insane and I have stamina like a horse. I just wait for him to get tired, and then I attack like a cobra.

LOL.

Yeah, totally. That's exactly how it will go down.

Without laughing.

I think I can fuck up a killer whale with bare hands

I practice shadowboxing in my shower for the second week now, swim every summer, not to count full month of yoga and jogging.

I have insane reflexes and can swim at incredible hihg speeds, i think i can drown an orca with my hands.

>Any man with a minimum of training can beat a gorilla with a knife anyway.
>With bare hands, that is not necessarily more complicated, it just requires technical skills.

I'm one of those 'I lift & train to break limits' guys, but even I must question your logic.

Whys the other one drooling so much? Did he slap his ass to retardation?

Fuck your bait its not even funny anymore saged

Alright. A couple years ago there was this lady let alone with an orangutan. These are much smaller than those gorillias you are talking about. It pulled her hands off. Imagine that, pulling a hand to the point it detaches. It also ripped her face off. Now picture what a much bigger and stronger gorrilla can do.

Me again. Just googled it. It wasnt even an orangutan. It was a common chimp. You're fucking stupid if you think you can fight full sized gorrilla.

...

Bigger and stronger means slower and dumber too bro.

Thank god I never managed to reach lamo2pl8 so.

high quality kek

I love this bait, I'd also love to see you actually try it you silly cunt.
>dodge his attacks
Lmfao desu senpai he'd literally rip you apart.

Well there is only one way to find out user, if a child can get into the gorilla enclosure then you should be able too. Good luck.

>all these new fags
It's summer alright

A single chimp would rip your face and dick off and you think you can take on a mega chimp?

LMFAO

Is that what your mom tells you to make you feel better about being a manlet?

This feels like it should be a Sam Hyde video

you are a fucking idiot. you can be a fucking mountain and the average gorila would wipe a floor with you.

I had sex with your son. He hated it though because my dick is really small and he likes getting stretched out.

Yup and you know what? It works, motherfucker. I feel like a million bucks. What does your mother tell you? "Take the garbage out"? Pathetic. Enjoy your shit-tier mom-son relationship.

jokes on you, my son is dead

That guy from the movie where Leo got the Oscar, Hugh Jaas i think his name was.

Chimpanzees are legit evil though, they could rip off your head in a second, but instead they eat your dick off, and then literally eat out your asshole, and bite off your fingers and face. They dont even let you die, just leave you a broken mess for the rest of your life.

I'd honestly 1vs1 a white shark or an alligator than a fucking chimp.

I guess I was just projecting my insecurity when I said he hated it. He wasn't reacting at all and I was really hard on myself about it. Thank you, I feel a lot better now that I know. I'll try to give myself a break once in a while.

those are all based on fighting humans you idiot. Try to leg sweep or grapple a gorilla and you'll just have your skull punched ijn lol.

Do you have any pro fight experience? 7 years isn't much in the fight world, if you can't beat a man in your weight class how do you expect to beat an animal at super heavyweight

You probably wouldn't even be able to fuck up a wolf.
I can't wait until AR / VR gets developed enough that we could do actual fights like this but in virtual reality, where you wouldn't have to risk your actual life.

Think of a man with 450 pound of muscle and like 5% body fat. That is an adult male silverback gorilla. Unless you're around those stats, it'd rip your arms off and beat you to death with them

2/10 I know this is bait but I still replied

They are evil. I remember seeing something about Jane Goodall thinking animals were naturally pure beings until she saw two chimp troupes rage war against each other. That war ended with one troupe brutally killing and raping the other to death

Because he has his mouth open in order to dissipate heat.
Bears are fucking massive and they heat up like crazy.

If they can do that damage then why they run from tigers?

>He's retarded

This is great bait and I love this thread

youtube.com/watch?v=f0yHRcKzMik

gorilla pulls a grown fucking man with one arm like it's fucking nothing.

these creatures are on another fucking level man, it's retard strength + primal strength combined with the biggest goddamn muscles ever. I'm quite jelly desu

I saw a doc on that shit too.. They raped and ate the kids of the other tribe.. I've also seen a clip where a chimp rapes the face of a frog.

I can't tell which of these post is ironic or if you're both retarded
I'm just gonna assume the first guy was ironic and the moeshitter didn't get it

OP proved wrong in one vid

>female chimp defeats professional Sumo Wrestler without much effort

youtube.com/watch?v=QfDxg0pJAX4

>gorilla warfare

It's you, you are the retarded post.

>op
>gymcel
>10 years of training and can barely bench press 2 plates
>has countless hours of practicing kung fu shit on inanimate objects, imaginary objects and some fat trainer who charges him 50$ an hour to do weabshit
>takes 14 minutes to run 1 mile

>gorilla
>just relaxes and eats all day
>instinctively able to fight to the death at full potential
>can deadlift 2000lbs without practice
>dashes at 25mph even though his whole life has been spent sitting on his ass eating bananas
>has skin as tough as leather and muscle/bone as hard as iron

Alpha genetics beta results

...

That's just a demonstration of pulling strength, not a fight. I don't think OP could do it either but this video is irrelevant.

>Implying you can take down harambe with your bare hands.
top kek m88

because tigers are fucking 5-800 pound killing machines.

>boxing in parallel for 6 years
of course boxing is in parallel you idiot. once it turns perpendicular, someone already lost.

>I think I can fuck up a gorilla with bare hands

Famous last words.

>Famous last words.

Famous last words.

>because tigers are fucking 5-800 pound killing machines.

Famous last words.

...

Hey op good bait have some letters I don't type often

zxvuj

and here's a (you)

here's a professional MMA fighter talking about how he was barely able to handle a chimpanzee
youtube.com/watch?v=udGAapx7Gok
and you want to fight a 300 to 400 lb gorilla

if you're actually serious, please go ahead and do it so you're removed from the gene pool

These threads are always fucking gold.
Shoutout to the OPs of these

he had a knife tho

the most interesting part of this video was that they were both wearing a diaper

that's also the most interesting part of your relationship with your mother

MMA fags are so fucking cringey. Every one of them I've met is the most insecure man child who puts on some tuff guy act to try and mask their inferiority complex. The worst are the ones who look for excuses to fight non trained people.

YOU sound cringey. YOU sound insecure. YOU sound like a man child. YOU sound like you're putting on a tuff guy act. YOU sound like you have an inferiority complex. YOU bro. YOU.