Itt: make up names for non existent workouts

itt: make up names for non existent workouts
>Hurlkicks
>Hackpumps
>Lower back matrixes

dude get a job or something

at least play video games or some shit

>porch monkey pull-ups

I-is that girl there voluntarily?

Yes.

Is this that famous safe space I keep hearing so much about?

Handstand deadlift

I have a saviour complex. Where is the best place to go to find cyborg qts?

Sumo deadlift

>girl

>incline squat

Tumblr, look for anxiety disorder and pick one that isn't obese.

Powerstretches

>Bench lift
>Dead press

Online you'd have to make a direct approach which would ruin it imo.
Also I don't know how that side works. Offline recs?

tinder, I see women with issues constantly

>Kickers

>fucking twisters

You don't get it. I don't want to pick them up and fuck them. It's about finding desperate cyborg chicks and being everything they fantasized about, way above their league to make them completely submitted to you and then shape them like you want to.

Anything with twisters always cracks me up
>See someone talking about "Ukrainian twisters"
>Refuses to explain what they are

>overhead deadlifts (for mass and overall strength)

> goatse-sniffers (good for a short conditioning finisher after you lift)

> porcelain grip ab clenchers (great for when you pushed your luck with the expiration date on your protien powder)

Bareback thrusts

>albanian nut crushers

Is that last one real?

Is that Sam Hyde on the right?

It's called matrices, when plural, not matrixes. Get an education damn it.

>2017
>Not doing bicep flurls

>bicep flurls

Low effort

hunchback party-pull-ups
locked elbow curl twisters
masked hacksaws

Cragman's.

Lamberges
Argentina Pullzos
Woklift

So this is what Sam's been doing since World Peace got cancelled

>recline bench
>chest flays
>calf flies
>janitor sweeps
>candle holders
>elephant curls

I could do this shit all day.

Actually giving it a foreign countries name is a really good idea to gain cred because it looks like a local trend that got global becaue of it's effectiveness. Like BJJ.
If I ever come up with my own exercise I'll do that
>Siberian [X]s - Because in the siberian tundra the men need to do x to be able to y

squat

> porcelain grip ab clenchers
Fuck you for reminding me. The last time I got sick I was concerned that my fucking abs were going to charlie horse

Spider lifts.

Kurdish wall climbing

German genociding

Israelian Shekeling

Palestinian stonethrowing

Gypsy squatting

African banana eating (great for the jaw muscles)

Chinese squinting bar lifts

Indian curry smelly exercise

Korean worm hunting

Japanese loli pulling.

Over-the-back Weighted Pull-Arounds

dick butts

>Gypsy squatting
Okay rest is shit. Stop browsing /pol/

Shoegaze concerts.

>over under squat
>back push
>recaptchas
>decline glute press
>ferrari press
>door swings
>major-minor rows

Crawling clapper
Square floor curls
Chest drill

>recaptchas
quality kek

Bridal Squats

>box curls
>pakistani get ups
>chest pulls
>calf shrugs

Cobra Squats

>the year of our lord 2017
>not doing reverse grip siberian snatch pulls

>recaptchas

Shitposting is an exercise though

kipping pullups

>Do my uppercuts
>Tick
>Tick
>Boom

I should write some phony workout with these and use it for trolling purposes.

The birth of SS

I know, right? You're never going to make it unless you do hammer swipes.

german fire dumpers

uppercuts

Underrated kek

Came to post this.
Make sure you also correctly pronounce Spine Axes and Milves.

Recaptchas made me laugh out loud

>2017
>not doing french military press.
It's like a regular military press, but once you hit the top of the rep, you keep your hands in the air and start running.

Russian shin curl
Goblet row
Calf planks
Front lever press
Plyometric leg pushup
Handstand 720 sleep dropper
Hip mobility wrist curl

>tfw no gf

Should post all over FB fitness pages or send to normies and beginners "this is how i started out lifting it worked great for me"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger's 6 week strength building routine for beginners"

Pull
>box curls 3x10
>major-minor rows 4x8
>candle holders 4x8
>overhead deadlift 3x5
>elephant curls 3x10
>siberian snatch shrugs 3x10

Push
>Recline bench 3x5
>Ferrari press 5x5
>Front lever press 4x8
>French military press 3x5
>Hammer benders 5x5
>Spyder lift 3x10

Legs
>Gypsy squat 3x5
>Incline squat 3x8
>Decline glute press 3x10
>Weighted tibetan hack-twists 3x8
>Calf flies 4x10

>weighted reverse grip gypsy incline squat hack twists

>flat reverse barbell rows

>barbell flyes

>straight curl

>pterodactyls

I have my kickers, my twisters, my tick tick booms, and my milk swings
if there isnt a lot of screamers in the gym i will belt off a motley of creamloads with a tap chaser