Y-you too

>"Enjoy the food!"
>"You too."

I thought "you too" was just a meme until it happened to me.

Lol imposible
>it takes 9 months for women to produce a human
>it takes men an hour to produce enough sperm to produce a human.
Men have to fight for being top tier and any woman of shit tier. Men are disposable human beings that are 90% garbage.

I dont even say it, just smile and nod.

Literally about 4 years ago when I worked in a restaurant during college.

>Go to clock in on machine
>Machine tells me its my birthday and says "happy birthday!"
>Hot girl behind me waiting to clock in sees and says loudly "hey its your birthday?"
>Feel face getting red, sputter out "y-yes hehe"
>"Happy Birthday!" she says loudly and other coworkers start hearing and all start wishing me happy birthday
>Beat red face look at girl
>"hahah...you too"
>Don't acknowledge anyone else
>B-line into kitchen because I was spergie and terrified of women and social situations

I'm still an autist but I have a girlfriend and can function in normal conversation, but during high school and college I was absolutely terrified of everyone and everything and just having a mildly attractive girl so much as acknowledge me was enough to spiral my brain into the abyss. Good times.

> hey man, i'm taking off, have a good rest of your workout!

> You too, buddy

He's probably going to wack off so I guess it can still make sense

Literally today

>thank you, come again

>I'm still an autist but I have a girlfriend and can function in normal conversation

>this is literally what people think autism is because its just a buzzword now

My 11th or 12th birthday I said it to my uncle after he wished me a happy birthday, don't think I've said it since.

??

stop being gay

that's even worse lol

There was a girl I had a thing for doing hip thrusts next to the bench I was on, scrap that she was sharing it with me. First time she was moderately flirty with me....

All I could come up with was
>You have nice quads

Never
>arrive to uni
>check cell phone and watch memes
>weird pale qt approaches me
>"you smell nice user"
>thanks
and she went back to her seat
did i fucked up Veeky Forums?

Unironically? Probably about a year ago.

Ironically? Every day of my life.

she took the initiative, you gotta follow with something. Good luck

>foot tattoo
>manhands
gross

No spaghetti spilling recently, but I just did something ridiculous.

>Last week, bulk meal prepped on Wednesday, because I'm heading out of town to go hang out with family.
>Was supposed to return on Sunday evening, but thought "hey fuck it, family is important."
>get home Monday evening and realized I just missed garbage day
>house doesn't smell like hot garbage
>Nobiggie.gif
>Go through the week, started up a MWF all body routine, did another bulk meal.
>Get autistic on different levels with different people, but nothing to write home about.
>Wake up Friday.
>Wake up to the smell of gasoline. And bless god for not dying in my sleep.
>garage stinks of gasoline, have no idea where it's coming from.
>go to bed, thinking it must be some fluke or some weird exhaust from guys doing construction across the street.
>wake up to smell of gas again, freak out again, check things out before deciding to bring the car outside . Think, hey, might as well go out and do some cardio and maybe it was just the car. Order a part for the car, go out for cardio.
>come home, smell is even stronger.
>air out garage, email landlord and management company about my discovery, open the windows, go to bed.
>wake up today, go about business, bulk meal prepping. Thinking to myself, I gotta figure out where this is coming from, or I'm going to die!
>plan to wake up tomorrow, call gas people to come over and check this out.
>tomorrow is also garbage day
>throw out two weeks worth of bulk meal prep food: 36 rotten egg shells, 6 pounds of rotten fruit scraps, lots of fetid meat juices, 8 pounds of bones, lots of tea leaves. Included was also general garbage.
>smell disappears.
>My waste is literally like dumping gasoline in a landfill.

I'm sure I just put the nicest people in full panic mode for no god damn reason. Just sent them all an email explaining my mistake, and I needed to get it off my chest.

Feeling not so smart for a guy about to start medical school.

>working remotely
>lady I know messages me and tells me she just got her new stripper pole
>tell her to let me know when and I'll bring the popcorn

how did I do?

My boss is this autistic. She's adorable.

>pass by a lady I don't talk to at work often
>we had a conversation about her doing BJJ once
>she says "you're beard is getting longer!"

awkward exchange or something more?

every time i leave the gym

>walking into gym
>guy is walking out and holds the door for me
>enthusiastically tells me to have a good workout
>you too
>instantly realize what I said as I'm walking past him and turn and say 'wait' out loud to myself for feeling stupid
>all in view of the receptionist

At least his enthusiasm and general positivity made me feel good for my workout so I did good but man this is happens all the time with food cashiers and shit

>at the airport before a long ass international flight
>buy a soup and sandwich to prepare for 12 hours on the plane
>small talk with employee waiting for the food, "where you flying, etc"
> employee hands me my meal tray, and says "have a nice flight"
> "y-you too"

You guys are fucking stupid

I never say "you too" because if people wish me good something, I just simply don't respond

Not for a very long while. I always say "thanks" first and the extra second it takes to do that is almost always enough time for my brain to fully process what they said and decide if "you too" is a reasonable thing to say.

I said hi to a girl today (coworker switching with me while I went on break) and she just glared at me and then walked faster.

So I said "You too."

>have a good day!
>you too
Just this afternoon.

This. Or I say "Have a good one!" or "See you later," which are equally as awkward. I take a lot of pride in saying corny shit when I leave the gym though because the guys/girl at the desk always look bored to tears.

>me and a friend go out to see a movie
>we're both still kinda high
>ticket guy says "enjoy the movie"
>friend says "you too"
>haven't let her live it down since

Sometimes the memes happen in real life and it's a thing of beauty

Every time I go through the drive through I do this, last time I did it I said to the girl at Dunkin donuts I just stopped cold and asked her, "Did I just say that? I'm a fucking idiot.".

Now she laughs and says, "you too" every time I say thanks after she says to have a nice day.

Next time IMMEDIATELY lean into the window and kiss her, you bitch

Checking into my hotel a few months ago
>Finish listening to man tell me about room as he hands me the key card
>"Enjoy your stay sir"
>You too....

>8 pounds of bones

My gf done it the other day

>go out for meal
>food comes to table
>waiter says "enjoy your meal"
>gf "y-you too"

How do I get a cute autism gf

>At walmart about a year ago
>On way out the door
> Greeter says "Thank you for shopping at walmart"
>Respond "Y-y-you" as Im walking past staring at the floor
Didn't even say "too" just ran out of there and haven't gone back since. It wasn't even a qt3.14, I just can't talk to anybody anymore.

Just be a little less autistic than her

>Very autistic
>Thinking about how to respond to things people say
>Phrase "you too" pops into my head
>It's so versatile and cannot fail
>Veeky Forums tells me it's not acceptable to use

Why is it so wrong to use that phrase?
>Shopping at Farmer's Market a few months ago.
>Pay for my groceries
>Cashier says, "have a good day"
>I say, "Thanks, you too."
>She starts laughing at me like I'm an idiot
>I can't figure out any other reason she would be laughing
>Take my groceries and leave
What the hell

she's flirting u fuck

>Someone laughs at you
>Flirting

>female housemate bought home a young boy toy
>we all sitting by the fire they head off to bed
>he says have a good night
>"you too"
>hear him say "oh god why" as he walks up stairs
>laugh for next 10minutes

>tfw fedora tipping autist who says "you as well"
but I don't wear a fedora...

It's a weird way of interacting with a customer. I remember thinking back and thinking she was probably having a shitty day, so me saying "thanks you too" was like me telling her to have a good day when she obviously wasn't going to have one.

I'm thinking now she might have been a female robot and was thinking of threads she read over here.

>cute girl at work
>10/10 breasts
>into vidya and CS
>wow user you look good in blue
>th-thanks you too
In my defense, I have a gf. It's tough to formulate a response when it comes out of left field so hard.

Daily.

Although it's normally "to you as well" it's the same shit.

I say it all the time to strangers, without the stutter. Cashiers, bank tellers, drive through people, barbers, etc. It works most of the time. It only becomes autistic when they say something where "You too" isn't a valid response, obviously. Most of the time they say "Have a nice day/evening/night". Sometimes I'll get into smalltalk with them and I'll say I'm on vacation. They'll say "Enjoy your time off" to which I'll sometimes say "You too", only to realize too late that they're not on vacation, then I walk out the door mentally kicking myself for saying dumb shit. It has become a conditioned response. I should take a moment and say something in the moment instead of automatically pulling out a canned response. At least I'm aware of it. It's a work in progress.

Yesterday at my cousin's wedding.

why that, to get cucked like user above?

His gf lost words coz she imagined the waiter fucking her infront on her bf.