Walk into the gym

I don't really know what my ideal life would be. My current life was supposed to be the ideal life. I don't enjoy anything, games and Veeky Forums keep me distracted enough. I like sex with my wife so I'm not gay. Tried traveling, reading, community service, etc. Nothing really excited me, just feels like a chore I have to complete. Even my lifting routine is almost mechanical.

The only 'hobby' I've kept along the years is helping out men with their divorces pro bono. I've gotten full custody to about 100 fathers, and that is the only achievement in my career I feel proud of.

I think you either had no mother or weren't very close to her. Am I wrong ?

Yeah she cheated on my dad for about two decades, but my dad had to tolerate it because he knew he wouldn't be able to see me if he separated. He tried to kill himself twice. So I really hated my mom, still do. Is it relevant to how I am?

>takes pleasure making fathers win custody (probably some sort of revenge because you were frustrated seeing your father being treated like shit)
>has hard times loving his family and his wife (you didn't have a good family model growing up)
Of course it's related, you should see a shrink, you need it my man.

I've thought about seeing a therapist more than once, but then I'd have to explain to my family why I need it, and I don't really want to tell them that I've never loved them and all those years were lies.

song is actually written by a rapper and the title refers to the suicide hotline number

oh user please see a therapist. your marriage might fall appart in the process but for god's sake get your life back and the ability to feel alive and be happy. It is only you holding yourself back.

They'll know it eventually man, you can't fake it eternally, and there will be a big event or whatever that will make them find out you never really loved them. Don't make your life a lie user and go see a therapist.

I'll think about it, but what do I tell my family as to why I need to see a therapist? I've been a perfect picture of health and happiness till now.

You don't have to make a big announce, just say there are things from your childhood that you need to talk about. If your wife asks, just tell her your father's story, you don't have to mention you don't love them, tell them if you absolutely have to (like to fix the problem for exemple)

I think you don't have to explain them. Not to come accross as an assshole say that you will talk about it when the time will be right. And that you need this for yourself. If they love you they will accept this. If any drama starts over this, just walk away and return after it cools down and your family is ready to accept this.

Trust me, people have done far worse things to others than to see a therapist which in itself is a positive thing as you are trying to better yourself and their family still stands by their side.

Also, don't think that the family is the cause of the way you're feeling. Don't resent them completely. You might start to feel a lot of love for them once you sort yourself out.

Best of luck to you, buddy. You can do this.

They've probably been able to tell something was off about you, even if they couldn't quite quantify what it was. Open up to them honestly about the way you are and they will support you if they truly love you. Remember that love is a two way street.

In your own way, you have loved them, and caring for them even when you've had to force yourself to do it through personal struggle is a greater expression of real love and virtuosity than any number of platitudes.

Logic - 1 800

Alright anons, I'll try to book an appointment with a therapist by the weekend. I think I'll hold off on telling my family the real reason for now. Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. I've never been able to open up about this to anyone in my real life because I thought they would spill the beans to my family. We're all gonna make it, bros.