Devilish general

I steal all the squat plugs from my gym and add them to my collecton

lmao i actually do this but i do it believable
im 6'3 but tell guys who ask im 6'1

I'm an alpha, I don't abide by the rules I make my own.

>alpha
>cant afford basic groceries

XD

I can afford them, I just choose not to pay for them.

it's not about not being able to afford them it's about making the (wo)manlet cashiers know that us alphas do what we want

I'm quite tall (6'3) so this works well for me

>in the gym getting dumbells, whenever I finish with a low weight put it on the bottom rack and big weights on the top rack
>watch as short people grab the heavier weights and it drops as they unrack it to the standard level as it's higher up
>enjoy seeing them being tipped side to side by weights

>often gymtimidate people who use lower weights by saying I'm weak today even on my working weight

5'11, if in group with shorter and taller guys (especially if girls around) claim 5'8. 6'3 and below become barely 6'0 manlet tier. Below 5'10 are now turbo manlet tier. Girls believe it.

Shepard of the manlets, harvester of reeeees.

Good troll , so good that I almost believe OPs story actually happened

Gj

This, but I'm 6' and I say I'm 5'9" and I only do it when there's short people I don't like present. Occasionally, I'll say I'm 6'2" if there's a manlet around that I like (very rare)

"devilish"
more like a cringe autismo beta faggot.

>Bench 225
>Tell everyone I bench 175

>makes eye contact with me
>she wants to fuck

this

>stalk out and find SS or 5x5 newbie fatties

>tell them they can't make gains til they cardio and lose the weight, deadlifts will ruin their back

>also make sure you keep eating, can't go into starvation mode and undo all the cardio gains!

fun watching them lose the will to improve their bodies, more pussy for me ;)

>not stealing from your local multi-billion dollar supermarket conglomerate
confirmed for not going to make it

>Have gf
>Fuck other women without her knowing
>Regular rub and tugs in china town when the mood strikes
>Fucked a chick recently that lives literally down the street from us
>Literally lying to everyone i fuck to continue banging all of them because i love the thrill
>Regularly get biners at work so that girla stare at my bulge
>Jack off in my car and oull oveer to girls on the side if the street and ask them if theyll watch (some actually say yes)
>Got head from some twink just to see if id like it (didnt, but busted anyway)
>Almost fucked my drunk boss last year and nearly ruined their relationship on purpose because i wanted to eat her puss
>Regularly get crackwhores to jerk me off for like 5 bux in my car while i watch porn

You know when i write all this out im not as nice a person as people think i am. Kek

This. If you aren't hitting 3 sets of 5 reps of grocery steals at least twice a week, you'll never reach your goals. Gotta steal big to eat big to get big!

>get large mole on inner thigh frozen from doctor
>few weeks later
>low bar squatting
>falls off my leg
>don't pick it up

fassbender?

Kek I only do this when some manlet claims to be 6' and I stand next to them and say I'm 5'10 while being actually 6'1.

>everyone complements my weight loss
>I actually am using DNP

You sound like you are cluster b personality disordered m8. No joke, get help.

>give people "advice" on fitness
>actually all my gains are from test+deca
>"OHP is a meme because the body wasn't designed to lift weights above eye level"
>"squats are bad for your knees bro"
>"calves are mostly just genetics brah, mine have always been big"
>sometimes some nattycuck notices I'm talking out of my ass
>but he can't correct me because he looks dyel by comparison

this but in reverse

kek

I'm just having my cake and eating it too m8. It's fun.

>maintain eye contact while I put it straight in the bin

>missed the joke

>make sure to wipe down all the benches and machines with my towel
>haven't washed my towel in 6 months

>Insist on putting the tv on the food network
>say "mmm, that looks good" or "Oh hell yes" whenever something unhealthy shows up
>slurp loudly from water bottle
>"Woo!" When I finish reps
>leave plates on when I get up
>if someone complains, I claim I wasn't done and was resting between sets
>been doing this for almost 6 months now
>tv remote is starting to be hidden when I come in
>2 regulars leave when I arrive

Why am I like this

I hope this is real

That's actually pretty dope

You devilish bastard

U N H O L Y

[_] Savage
[_] SSadistic
[X] SSSensational
It's funny when people use broscience for evil.

>>often gymtimidate people who use lower weights by saying I'm weak today even on my working weight

do you just kind of say it out loud for no one in particular?

oh yeah, what was that movie called?

Zyzz is really unimpressive for someone cheating 'that much'

Well he could have gotten bigger, but you know...

Wow youre a subhuman piece of shit

>stealing is cool or aloha
Summer is almost over. Just a few more weeks boys

Shame (2011)

>or aloha
what?

because youre an alpha, i now it because deeply i am too

>aloha
Mahalo brother what's good?

How the fuck do you get away with this? Isnt police searching for her?

>offer to fill up my gym bros waterbottle
>secretly fill it with half vodka so he loses gains and fucks up his lifts
D E V I L I S H

>water bottlwa at the gym are $1
>actually put in random change totaling less than a dollar

>be me
>did SS -> TM -> Sheiko
>huge and stronk
>some kid doing SS asks me for advice
>tell him he should (almost) stop lifting, you just need to do pilates and one deadlift single a week to get strong
>haven't seen him in the gym this week
he he

>blow all my gym buddies in the locker room
>say 'no homo' after each one
>they don't say it
>after the last one call them all a bunch of fucking faggots

And people like these wonder why everything is going to shit. Probably married a girl you didn't even want and add your broken moral compas to that and you get some one that's so delusional that thinks this is the meaning of eating his cake and enjoying it. Hope your poor wife finds out soon enough so she doesn't waste another minute on you.

>Buy a cheap shitty padlock
>Go to gym, finish workout
>wait until no one's in the locker room
>find someones locker and put the padlock on it
>Leave

It's a bad thing to do but feels so good

>try to steal groceries
Are you black?

Haha!

I bring a small towel but don't use it

>be at the mall today
>take out cash from the bankomat
>guy next to me leaves doesn't take his money
>I take it in a hurry
>try and catch him to give it back to him
>guy gone forever
>I'm left with 150eur that are not mine

I'm a criminal offender now.

You are piece of shit, nonetheless I will share my friend's devilish behaviour. He is semi-alpha (meaning he is alpha only towards women, any man can intimidate him)...so he fucks a lot (3 to 4 different girls every week). While he was walking around city centre with one of his female acquaintances, she started crying and he asked her "why?" to which she replied "you never kiss me, when we have sex" and then he said "well, because kissing is really an intimate thing to me" and that's how sobbing turned into weeping in a matter of seconds.

>t. 16 year old who never drank vodka

Any ragrets so far? Im on a similar path but instead of asking strangers i like to show off so I'll open the courtains and walk around naked pretending i just got out of the shower. Im so far into it that I keep tabs and already know at what time of the days qts pass by my apartment.

I do this same thing, but I empty out their locker first and throw their clothes in the toliet.

They frantically call the front desk to get a bolt cutter, wait for someone to come cut it and then realize the locker was empty the whole time!

>be dyel
>regulars stare at me cause gymtimidation
>stare right back

A-am I going to make it?

Got one similar
>Walmart self-checkout
>Among other things have 10 cans of tuna
>The machine shits out and captain retard steps in and "fixes" it
>Instead of scanning all the cans in individually he does a quantity multiplier for me.
>Only counts 8
>Get 2 cans fo free
>Say nothing and walk the dinosaur

\Devilish\

Dosent it have any stains? Mine starts looking dirty after 3 or 4 months.

I'm 6'1" and tell people I'm 5'13"

After staring for a few seconds, approach them, spit in their eye, and let them beat the crap out of you.

Then you'll make it.

But she punked you and made you pay...

> my sides

I hope he's not Russian or Finnish, or you just doubled his gains.

Spicy keychain level imagination

I had a friend like you that went to jail for multiple sexual assaults and some crime of diseased person having sex

>tfw uni in norway and still have 5 more weeks.

So you wasted both yours and her time, except she was getting paid

You're a fucking retard

>"hey user how are you"
>"good"
>I'm really not

>well, because kissing is really an intimate thing to me" and that's how sobbing turned into weeping in a matter of seconds.

Holy shit that's brutal.

I'm not really sure where the doubt comes in.

PUNKD

>forget to bring own water bottle to gym
>ask receptionist if she has some to borrow
>she gives me one
>pretend i forgot to give it back