Friday Feels

How you holding up, Veeky Forums

Veeky Forums related- what will you be working today when youre alone at the gym on another friday night

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I talked with my mother on the phone last night and I was astonished at how well it went. She has seen how much mental anguish I've been in but usually any attempt of her trying to understand or help was frustrating for both of us. She's not too bright but she at last gets where I'm at in deciding that I may face a life that is not worth living. And at last, rather than try to say that somehow some professional could help me get over this she will try to get my raison d'etre back. If it doesn't work she understands my reasoning to an hero.

Gonna go and hop on the radial saw and finish my custom computer case/sculpture and play on my rings and with some KBs. Tonight mistress is coming over to hang/bang. (She is married, I am not).

Another day, another battle with the fight between my diminishing self worth and my narcissistic ego.

But a coworker told me that I've slimmed down since I started IF 2 months ago.

That was nice.

>tfw I no longer feel feels
Today was core work.
First time I've nailed 3X10 hanging leg raises with my legs fully extended and feet raised above head.

you gonna an hero user?

Swimming at the river then dancing in the evening. Almost 10 months sober and I still get down without that courage juice. Insecurity is a meme, we're all gunna make it bros.

>tfw the compost teat on my peppers is working wonders
I'm about to get into vermaculture. The flea market near my house has a lot of fruit and veggies they toss out, I'm going to get overripe fruit to make compost gains
>tfw slimming down feel lighter
>can do 60 lb dumbbells shoulder press now, my proudest moment
>tfw Dragon ball super is going to be on tomorrow
>feeling good
>discovered bananas have very few calories and been eating more lately
>waxworms are coming in the mail, going to breed them

The bad: I still have a shitty life.

The neither bad nor good:
- I'll try to do some physical activity once a day while the boxing gym is closed (until september...) because I've been pretty lazy for the past 2 months. Climbing and swimming are on my agenda
- Apple Music's recommendations suck, I switched back to Spotify which is buggy but has good playlists
- a coworker also told me that I lost weight (sadly not a girl but I still appreciate compliments especially since it's the first in my life that I ever received)

The good:
- I keep on lifting and doing bodyweight exercises religiously (every other day I alternate between weight and bodyweight)
- I try to keep on meditating because it's good for my brain
- I lost 4 lbs again, my ultimate-mega-goal weight may be achieved in less than 4 months

I've been thinking lately of my father, and how his life was destroyed by my mother and her manipulating us children to hate him, and how it all drove him to alcoholism and mental illness. He built a house for us, fed us and took care of us, and in return he had his family turn their back on him. I will never forgive myself, and I will carry this regret to my grave. The only thing I can do in this life is to make sure such unjustice never happens again, and even then I deserve to burn in hell for sometime after my life has left this world.

>I have an ingrown hair on my armpit and it hurts
>My neck is sore because I slept funny
>I haven't been on a tanning bed in over a week so no I'm pale
>I need a haircut but I don't have enough conversation in me to see a barber
>I didn't go to the gym today because I played PlayStation all day

That is the current trajectory. I've had copious amounts of time and isolation to examine my options. I'm far from one to throw in the towel after getting hit on the nose but I've concluded that I can not tackle the myriad of obstacles nor grow or enjoy life without my best friend who tore her page out of the book of my life. This isn't a hysterical and immature opinion. My ethics and philosophy have led me to understand that I face a life that is not worth living. Of course I'm not stoked about that prospect. It may be a nightmare but it is the future I chose.

I Plan to do a pull session tonight. I've been going out a lot all week to [spoiler]goth nights[/spoiler] so I don't feel the need to do anything special today. Fridays are more like Mondays to me considering my work schedule.

That picture is soothing. Love snow.

Lads I'm pretty sure my dad has cancer.

>Smoked for 30 years
>Recently quit
>Haven't seen him in awhile.
>Took him to lunch this week
>He's chewing his food funny.
>Ask him about it
>"Yeah I've had this weird bubble in my mouth for a few months now, when I bite it, it bleeds like crazy, it's been getting a bit bigger every few weeks"
>Doesn't want to go see a doctor for it.
>I insist I'll pay for it, he's too stubborn.
>Tell him if he doesn't go by October I'm forcing him too.

Pretty sure it's a fucking tumor. His teeth are a wreck and all the signs point toward it. He's been distant ever since I got married. He doesn't relate to my wife well and doesn't care to try. As a result we see each other much anymore. Used to be my best friend :(

Feels bad bros

Probably going to drink screwdrivers, listen to Type-O-Negative, do weighted dips, and then cry

The Good
>tfw a black qt eyefucked me at work today
>tfw it was so obvious, that even my boss who was sitting across from me made note of it.

The Bad
>I possibly have a cancerous mole on my arm

The Ugly
>my whore of a fuck buddy recently got an STD from fucking a dude who already had a girlfriend

Yeahh...

Rest day, got work and then I'm going to see Dunkirk with some pals.
It's also payday :3

That is a fucking heavy feel. Sounds a lot like my dad. I hope you can convince him to seek medical attention. And i hope ypu can be a better father.

Your life sounds disgusting.

Finishing Community College next year and decided to enlist in the Navy rather than go to Uni
I don't have any motivation or interest in completing a degree and putting myself tens of thousands in debt not to mention the job market is shit

Im hoping someday I can make officer or join the military police

Post more comfy images like OP please. It's all I request tonight....

My life is pretty comfy user. Just a few blemishes, that is all.

Btw, stay away from sloots you meet on tinder

>gained about 3kgs in the past 1,5 months since I started lifting
>back and wrist pain gone at work
I can't really notice any difference in looks. Hopefully it's not just fat

Also:
>supposed to go climbing with buddy
>he flocks on me
>arrange meet-up with another buddy in the evening
>he flocks on me too

Just kill me anons. Yesterday was my birthday and I wanna go out and do exciting things. Now I sit home alone drinking beer. Fuck this gay earth

Do not become a MP you retard. That is one of the worst jobs you could do.

>spent 100eur to see some girl to a concert
>shes borderline neet and anti-social
>otherwise perfect personality
>facebook page says single
>she acts all nice
>fucking rejects me 1hr before the concert starts
>user i-i-i-i h-h-have a boyfriend
>ditched her
>stuck around just to listen to the music
>ran to the pub straight after
>absolutely pissed rn
>have to catch a train in 6 hours
>despite all this I'm seeing a really good friend that I haven't seen for years tomorrow
Could be better lads, atleast my saturday will be great if the hangover doesn't kill me

I don't even know what to say right now

This whole week has been hell with work, every dept involved on my projects have fucked up and set me back a long time now. They fucked everything up and they will probably try to say why didn't I know about this or that etc... I'm not in sales, sales fucked up from three months ago and they will ask me why I didn't review sales work?

I'm not in sales, nor am I associated with them in any way. I have to be honest, if you are in sales get your fucking shit together and do your job according to plan.

This week has been very, very tough on me..

Hadn't talked with my mom in over two years
You'll be okay user. Your life is worth living, and I know you can make it.
Have you tried giving Peterson a listen?

>took 240 mg of codeine
>fapped for an hour
Good time desu

I'm sorry user. I hope you have a good time with your friend and forget about gold digging turbo whores

Shit user I know that feel
I'll never be able to make my dad up for the time we lost, I'll never get another chance to grow up normally outside the drama my mom used to conjure, and I still can't maintain a decent relationship with anyone except gf and she basically had to catch me by the ear and explain it slowly.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Rescue the father from the underworld?

Here for you, buddy. Felt like a literal shit today and yesterday, can't even enjoy movies or games but I still managed to do some running yesterday and some full body training today, so I guess it's going pretty good. Didn't meet up with friends for half a year now so doing workout is good against loneliness. It still hurts though.

I started my cut today. I'm gonna eat more veggies and less rice, drink more water too. I hope I can keep this diet up

I hit some shoulders and back today, went pretty good but I hurt my right shoulder. Gonna see on sunday how it feels

Some girl I don't know messaged me on Facebook with a picture outside my door. I don't know what she's up to and I'm way too paranoid of a person not to think anything of it

I realised I'm probably not gonna get laid any time soon. Tinder is not worknig for me (and hasn't the last two years I've had it), and the only friends I have are either on vacation or simply don't wanna hang out with me
On the other hand I don't think too much of it because I'm still young and have a lot to learn about social interactions, so it'll come with time

Right now I'm having a beer (not the best thing post-workout), but it cools me down and helps me sleep

> Didn't meet up with friends for half a year now so doing workout is good against loneliness. It still hurts though.
Damn this hit too close to home

inwork in a warehouse
i want to kill my coworkers
dont even dislike them
just have this thought in my head
i have. box cutter in my pocket at all times
it would be so easy to just take a quick swing and slit someones throat
i think about it all day

Another leg day coasting through life. Could be worse. As a skeleton trying to get fit I'm fucking sick of food. I need some appetite gains to get this shit down faster. Every pound is a small victory.

Thanks man and if anything this was a wake up call and a learning expierence. Won't make the same mistakes again.

/fat/user here

going out with friends tonight to a tasty restaurant. I've been fasting all day, just drinking water and coffee and a soda. Already have my meal planned out using nutrition info from the restaurant's website. Think I will have an alcoholic beverage too, but only one. Maybe split a dessert with someone.

My progress so far is good, but I wish it was faster.

Today is my last day at work in a job field I really hated (drafting). Tomorrow I will be unemployed. I have substantial savings, I'm considering traveling for the next 6 months, maybe backpacking SE Asia or motorcycle touring around the US. After that my 33-year old ass will enroll in a certification program for my next field. For the first time in many, many years I'm excited about the future.

>yet another friday evening spent lonely

oh why

DIET soda, of course. Cherry Coke Zero.

Meant to add: Pull day next, my favorite day. Looking forward to getting my pullups higher, always one of my favorite exercises.

user if there are two things that steal gains it's soda and desserts, worst of all ice cream

fucking cringe. all this over a woman?

I can relate to this with a cousin of mine. We were basically brothers, now we aren't anymore for a very similar reason. People eventually have to go their separate ways though. That's not to say you can't have friends anymore, just you know... It does suck though. It's like swallowing a rock that gets caught in your chest or something and leaves that heavy feeling.

Just graduated electrical engineering. Bumming around at home while job searching. Nice to spend more time with my family again but I'm getting very bored.

Really just want the next stage of my life to start. Anyone hiring in Toronto/Ottawa/Montreal?

Good feels is I got my old friends to lift with me

any 25+ in the house?
>tfw no friends

Our mum did the same thing. This shit happens way too often and it's sick. You shouldn't feel guilty user, just pay your debt by not living your life in the shadow of these events and choose your woman carefully. Godspeed

Yes. Same shit here

Broke up with my gf 2 months ago. Got invited to a party I know she's going to be at tonight. Been lifting almost every day. 40 pounds lighter then when she left me. Should I go to this party?

28 here
>next full week off work
>colleagues ask what I'm going to do with my time off
>tell them nothing, just going to chill at home and relax
>ask me why I don't have plans to go out and do shit
>"omg user don't you have any friends?"
>mfw I don't

Feeling good after a failed relationship and months of serious debilitating oneitis. I'm honestly okay with being alone (for now). It would be nice to have a girl to pound out tonight but I just can't be fucked to put in the effort.

>tfw the only thing i have to look forward to is lifting at the gym
I love the pain of time under tensions
I love the pain of refusing delicious food
it will pay off

Seek professional help

So this is what bitch made looks like. lol I'm glad I was born with a big dick and African. Cant get your heart broken when you are breaking their pelvic bone

why not roid the fuck up and get joocy before you off yourself?

This post is retarded. Big dick guys get their hearts broken. My cousin slings 9 inches and has been heartbroken. Another 7+ still ended up getting cheated on. Yet another 8+. In fact I cucked a guy who I found out has a big dick. I'm like 6.2 and broke lol. Dick size doesn't mean much

Nigger detected

Diet soda, of course.

32 y/o here senpai.

I have friends, I'd just rather be alone a lot of the time. I've just always been solitary.

I'm never going to make it, I'm physically fit and strong but also disfigured. I should just kill myself but I'm too much of a pussy.

Yeah Apple Music's suggestions are kinda trash. Google Musics aren't that much better. I've never used spotify, would you recommend?

>all this over a woman?

Well, she is a female but "all this" isn't just her. We went to Middle/HS together though we weren't really friends. She went off to college out of state and when she got back we hooked up and ended up becoming best friends and dated for six years. We separated but remained good friends. I dated and moved in with a younger girl who one day showed to my work with all my belongings in my car. I slept next to the gang box on the job site for a week before I went back to my parents house. That weekend I got a DUI and lost my job. I was suicidal and crushed. I got back with my old Olympic weightlifting coach and began to FaceTime with my old gf every night. A few times I was planning to shoot myself through the chest with my .45 ACP after talking to her (she didn't know that) but I hung on each time after making her laugh. She had bought a home and I was doing some handyman work for her and showing her how to do maintenance. Of course, we started to fuck again. I was on bond for my DUI and so I was sober. She started to fall in love with me again. I was still pretty heartbroken over the younger girl but I loved my friend too.

One day out of nowhere the young girl sent me an email with the picture of her cat. I called her and we tearfully made up and fucked that night. My fortunes had changed dramatically: I was now fucking both of them and could choose either. I made the wrong choice after a month of "cheating" on both of them. I betrayed my best friend and moved back in with the young girl.

My old gf and I would still talk on the phone about once a month but she was very hurt. Last summer the younger girl decided to take a semester of classes back East so she could be close to family. She left her cat with me. A month after she had left she sent me a text: "I am not returning. Please forget about me."

My old best friend would not respond to me. I was facing a risky procedure and wanted so badly to have her support. She sent me a text and said "you are no longer a part of my life"

I always thought she'd never leave my life and I had abused that. I learned only through her definite absence how much she means to me. I respect her wishes and do not contact her except for last December when I left a voicemail. I was attempting suicide through a heroin OD.

Claire is the Higgs Boson of my universe.

I miss my best friend. I've concluded that not only do I have extreme difficulty self-actualizing, overcoming issues, or devoting myself to anything without her but I also face a lifetime without her in it and that is not worth living.

Woah user, so you're telling me some girl messaged you a picture of YOUR OWN front door? I'm confused.

Thanks anons, it helps to hear that others too know this pain. You guys are correct about the gf thing, she's one of the only people who knows my background and understands, and before that this broken personality of mine almost caused us to break up. I wish to do good things to her and my father, and to many people who experience unjustified suffering. The funny thing about all of this is that my mother and sisters do not know how much I know and understand now after all these years of brainwashing, and I'm about to start some shit in the upcoming months, not revenge or anything like that, but a kind of poetic justice.

Yeah, apparently we were snapping eachother a couple months ago but I completely forgot who she is

27 here, have friends but i have to work tonight.

I like this format for these threads, im not trying to read a novel here guys.

>Bad
Went on two month cut without working out , found out today I can't deadlift 3 pl8s anymore

>okay
Went to medical school orientation, and a lot of people seem cold or sperg like. Might just be the first day of school jitters.
>Good
Weekend is here, time to do some meal prep. I really like cooking and getting my trash picked up. Gonna do meatballs, homemade yogurt, saffron rice, and a tzatziki sauce. Going to make Macrons for classmates that I'll be working with.

Wow, still cringe. You're a fucking fool and all of your pain is self-inflicted. Find something else to live for other than some bitch you wronged.

I'm probably gonna see a girl I like at a party tonight

Pray for me, I'm gonna make it

Haha, that is actually the plan.
>pic related

I'm happy that my mother understands now where I'm at. She may try and see if C knows what she means to me. If reconciliation doesn't happen she gets that I'm saying fuck this gay earth and its palliative care for me.

Could be fun for Veeky Forums to design my End Of The World cycle. No need for PCT.

Hey, I like it too!

The good
>got a nice raise at work
>casually fucking a coworker

the bad
>coworker is pressuring me into a relationship
>we are friends outside of work so any time we are out of work it feels date-y

the ugly
>the coworker

You should make sauerkraut sometime

So you don't remember anything about her? Did you guys ever meet up for anything? Is she stalking you now?

I have questions, damnit user,

>making macrons
>macrons
>mfw

Ex from HS wants to get drinks. Left me to decide the date we go hangout. Last time I saw her just broke her heart and all her friends hated me with a passion, didn't care cause I was going to zyzz land to bang sloots on a drug fueled gap year. How do I salvage this one boys. She lost weight since I dated her.

Didn't think of it. Actually been trying to get more fiber in, I'll pick up a head of cabbage this weekend.
Thanks user.

I'm well aware how my pain is self-inflicted. I do not think of myself as a victim. I have considered my options and possible solutions for a while. I'm not happy about an hero but I am also not going to be blindly optimistic and endure an indefinite time of an agonizing existence in expectation of a better future with dubious probability.

Whoops, that went bananas

>Another day, another battle with the fight between my diminishing self worth and my narcissistic ego
DELET

This too shall pass.

Idioms are for the birds

what IF are you doing breh? 16/8?

-1-

I'm 19.

I think i've killed the ego.
no, the opposite, i've made myself mindless.
I don't think about the situation before i act, i don't even procrastinate anymore, i just dont care, i ride out life based on old guidelines and experience that have been worn out from lack of scrutiny.I used to think things out and give time and plan for them, i felt the pressure from parents and peers, but now there is nothing for me to strive for, so i've lost all drive.
I smoked weed and masturbated 5 times today, I've beaten my dick into submission porn and far more depraved things, i drank an energy drink to give myself some life, i seldom used them in the past, and it was goal oriented, now it's just to keep myself awake, i feel lethargic even though i sleep at least 9+ hours per day. I've been even considering coicaine.
And that comes from a person who twice or thrice gave up all caffeine for health in his ealrier teens,but always relapsing, going on week and month long binges of video games,series and eating excessively, I decide that i need to change my habits forever. i explained to myself every time that i could pick up "life" as if it was some video game or maths after months or years of absence, it's because every time i had tried it had worked,i could remember maths from just the first lesson without studying afterwards and still solve exams up to 10th class, i could even go back to talking to people and making friends and connections ,after months of agony over feeling disconnected from people though. I dont feel inclined to even try any more.

The thing I value the most about Veeky Forums is that it is like some kind of older brother/locker room talk which I lack in my life
Stuff may be false, exaggerated etc. but somehow still better than anybody from real life can offer
Anyway, I have a really childish infantile problem.
I am in my early twenties. When I get into relationship I get disillusioned with the gal quickly and just start to hate the whole thing. I have been without a woman for slightly less than a year now.
So I wonder if I should just have shitty relationships just to fulfill my needs and have experience or just wait/look for someone I actually like (last time it was a long time ago)?

We matched on Tinder and after some weeks of snapping I asked her if she wanted to fuck,'. She said no and I deleted her from my Snapchat. She still remembered me, apparently, and I do too now. As far as I can gather she's with her friend who lives in the same apartment building as me

Dont do it user, we're all gonna make it.

-2-
I was on my way to getting fit for more than 8 months, and i gave up everything a year ago,telling myself i'd pick it up after a week,a month...
only when im stoned do i think about shit by mistake, about my current situation, but i feel at even a worse mental capacity to think about it at the time than my sober zombie state, not even quite sober, more sick probably, i've been chainsmoking normal cigarettes for a month and my body feels terrible, and getting stoned for 10 days smoking up to 10 joints daily while i was sick from bronchitis, rationalizing to myself that i'd just "get very healthy" afterwards.
Afterwards i dont care. the notion of helping myself is quickly invalidated by my tendancy for procrastination, or that's how i explain it to myself atleast.

hours dont matter anymore, i just sit in front of a screen from midday until the sun rises and then tired go to sleep, telling myself it will be different tomorrow.The man who wakes is a different man though, he does not want to wake up his mind and expend any energy. going with the same trend from yesterday he sits on the computer until hours pass, delaying the change of habit untill i wake up and in my zombie state from my overstimulation of shit i dont care about, dont know how to go about fixing my problem,and i leave thinking for tomorrow.

not a thought is thought, just mindless consumption of any once interesting thing. youtube videos, click twenty times on recommended watch for hours until sick of it, choose something else.

Deep down, your fantasies of your suicide is just you wanting to stick it to her, to make her feel as bad as you think you feel.

Ex from HS wants to meet up with me for drinks. haven't seen her since I broke her heart. All her friends HATE me with a passion. Left me to decide the date to meet up. How do I reel her back in bros? she lost weight since we dated and I got Veeky Forums after breaking up with her.