I HAVE ASS WORMS

you have bacterial prostitutes???

>I HAVE ASS WORMS

T-that's not really a big deal, is it?

try enema

Taser yourself near the lower gut. Worms won't be able to take it.

That's fucking disgusting. How you can even go another second without sprinting to the doctor for medicine to kill the fuckers is beyond me

wait im not OP
i dont have any

OP, go on keto for 1-2months depending how bad it is; no carbs, especially no sugar. Eat pumpkin seeds, papaya seeds, garlic, black walnut hulls, wormwood and buy a good parasite cleanse(do it twice). Also buy probiotics.

This will get rid of your worms and any Candida(fungal) overgrowth.

That shit is real btw, for all of you doubting it. Look up the symptoms. You should do cleanses twice a year, mostly if you travel to the third world a lot; but even in first world countries you'll eventually get worms even though doctors here will tell you they arent real.

Dont lose your gains to this shit.

Garlic actually does kill worms. Im not sure about sticking it up the ass tho

Exactly! Infact, they're beneficial since now OP can now use magecraft!

>Im not sure about sticking it up the ass tho
it will have a better effect

LOL THEY ARE CALLED ASS CARIS.
CARE FOR UR ASS OP

>even though doctors here will tell you they arent real.
Are you one of those people who believe in giving yourself an bleach enema?

Right! OP, you should be accept your worms and learn how to use them.

You must drink till they're drunk and then you can shit them out.

and you get the fun of sticking something up your ass. r-right?

sounds painful.

Look that shit up tho; Just saying parasites are more common than people think. Unless youre kinda a pussy and super careful about everything you eat you could have parasites/fungus.

I dont think its a big deal to do a cleanse once or twice a year; these things steal your nutrients and gains.

yea. tampon with vodka works great.

>Candida(fungal) overgrowth.
no, of course not
i have time i dont use that

Eat about 3 cloves of smashed up, raw garlic with every meal for about 2 weeks and it will kill whatever the fuck is living in your intestines.

Your breath will smell like shit so I recommend getting some mints or something to mitigate the stink. It will also hurt your stomach for the first few days until your body gets used to it.

I got chlamydia once and I cured it like this I swear to god.

If you don't want to do that, a doctor might be able to help you.

He could just buttchug

When I used to work with retards, I made the mistake of not washing everything before eating, and picked up pinworm.
As long as you aren't reinfecting yourself, no need to put garlic up your ass, just swallow a whole clove after scoring the surface every day for a few weeks. It will pass through largely undigested and kill worms, rather than create a barrier between worms and anus where they won't pass.

tentacle porn is this thread

Start eating whatever hot peppers you can get hold of. The more capsaicin (hotness) the better. The capsaicin in the peppers is typically lethal to endoparasited you have in you, but be warned, you're in for an absolute nightmare for he next few weeks when you go to take a shit. Between dead worms and lava like feces you might find yourself wishing for death.

>Single symptom
Try again pleb that isn't enough to think you have worms.

Go get a diagnosis from a doctor.

>Cleanse

Get the fuck out charlatan. Don't give medical advice to actual sick people.

Why do ass worms fear the cloven warrior of stank?

>Makiri magecraft.
Zoken pls go and stay go.

This.

Melt some cacao butter, and mix it up with garlic.Pop it in the freezer and stick it up your butt hole.

I'm really not kidding either.

Go to a pharmacist and ask for Combantrin. It's almost always behind the counter. Follow the instructions and poof no more worms. Also launder your sheets in hot water to kill any eggs, thoroughly clean your bathroom and throw out any bath poofs. Over doing worm medication will make your jizz brown.

t. person who got worms from a trip to the Philippines

you should get an antiparasitic medication, but if for some reason you refuse to:
>stop eating sugar for an entire week
>eat smoothie with: pumpkin seeds, coconut milk, garlic, oregano, chia seeds.
>drink an epsom salt laxative a little while later after it's had time to digest and paralyze the worms.

also you probably don't have ascaris, that's some third world country shit. More likely you have pinworms or something.

syphilis sluts????

take a laxative

Don't question the good doctor.

Nigga go to a doctor, they have pills specifically designed to treat ass worms

Are you living in some third world country where you don't have access to ass worm pills?

how would you even know you got ass worms?

I imagine you'd be able to feel the little fuckers wriggling around your insides.

not sure about sticking it up the ass tho
Not gonna make it

wait how can i tell if i have ass worms? is there some kind of test?

This

Most types will eventually show up in your shit, pinworms give you an itchy asshole and tapeworms really do steal your gains and make you tired

how do I prevent worms besides cooking meat thoroughly?

Get a small mirror, squat over it naked when you feel your bum itch and try to relax your anus and stretch it with your hands a bit so you can see the insides. If you see some white strings moving around, those are pinworms, just scoop them out with your finger (they're pretty sticky) and then flush em down the sink and wash your hands and anus because they reinfect you by laying eggs there and making you reingest them by scratching and eventually putting it in your mouth.

You feel sharp itches in your ass and tend to see them in your poop.

This could be a fucking fissure, go see a doctor you idiot. Even if it is a parasite, neither you not some random gymbros on the Internet know how to treat it. See a proctologist, they will probably refer you to a microbiologist if they suspect parasitosis.
>b-but I'm too embarrassed
You're a bitch or what? The doctor has seen infinite literal assholes, he won't give a shit about yours. You'd forget about your embarrassment if you had ass cancer, forget it now too.

>pinworms
I didn't need to know these existed. Now I'm going to be paranoid whenever my ass itches

This is a blue board.

Having said that, source?

live in the first world

if you just focus on your ass it starts tingling
how do I tell if its actually pinworms and not just paranoia

I've had a lot of itching and some irritation right around my butthole on the outside for like the past year, but not really any itching inside my ass at all, just right on and around. I think it might be because I've been living with my parents the past year and using the shitty, dry, one ply toilet paper they always get, but how can I be sure that that's the cause and I don't have ass worms or cancer?