The Gym Genie

The time has come.
Bring me your fitness related wishes, and I shall use my magic ability to grant them.
I will also tell your fitness related future.
One wish per person.
Do not be afraid, child.
I am The Gym Genie!

Curse my gym-rival with poor squat form and a mild but long-term shortage of sleep.

Please give the guy who wears the foot gloves some real shoes

can i pls be king of uni rec center?

last time i went they put me in the manlet pit and i had to use the CS majors as a ladder

I want someone to teach more perfect form

Wish granted! Although I do not understand why you will use your one wish to damage yourself, I have cursed you into wobbly legs, constant farts, and feminine wheezes everytime you squat. Your wish to alter your sleeping pattern is not granted. One wish per person, sorry.

Wish denied! Although you consider these foot gloves as a novelty, there are badass military dudes wearing them, and these guys would Joe Rogan spin kick you into oblivion for trying to discredit their sweet kicks.

Wish granted! You will become super popular at your university, all the chicks will want you sexually and all the frat bros will want you sexually.

Wish granted! A pupil will come to you begging for help. They will have pathetic lifting form, and you can train them.

Can I get a trap gf, gym genie?

Wish granted! You will find a trap gf with a penis larger than yours.

Hoozah!

I want to be an olympic-level weightlifter in under 94kgs class, but without injuries and all the problems with anabolics usage.

Grant me effortless cuts, o Gym Genie!

Wish granted! You will wear tights and put chalk on your hands like olympic guys do that. Your wishes for no injuries and no gyno are not granted, sorry. Only one wish per customer, goodbye.

I wish I had the personality to go along with my Chad face and body

Wish granted! You will be given a lightsaber, capable of cutting through objects effortlessly. However, I must reiterate, please keep your wishes fitness related!

Wish granted! You will call women sluts, including your own mother. You will act super cool, but have homosexual thoughts that you try to hide with a super cool surfer dude chadditude.

O mighty gym genie, I wish for 5 scoops!

Wish granted! Since you didn't specify the product you wanted scoops of, I give you 5 scoops of Oprah Winfrey book club literature.

...

The Gym Genie is here to grant your fitness related wishes. Do not be afraid, child.