So... Veeky Forums... today I was banned from Anytime Fitness in Australia. Country-wide ban. Along with this ban I have a court hearing in October.
What happened?
Well this one lady, she's there probably once a week for 20 minutes. Says she "doesn't have time to workout" even though her instagram is full of alcohol and clubbing. She takes every barbell she can find and hogs them to do glute raises. Instead of putting weights on the same bar, she puts more weight on each bar like it's an ez-curl barbell.
Then she walks over to the cable machine and does those dumb kick back things. Dunno what they're called but they do nothing at all.
>be me >trying to do squats >4pl8 5x5 >third set in, 3 reps in >she walks over to me and taps me on the shoulder from behind >"can you hurry up? i'm busy" >instinctively spin around and smash her head with the 180kg of barbell + plates >she's taken to the hospital >fractured jaw, broken eye socket, teeth on one side of mouth missing
WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?!??!! HELP ME I'M GONNA LOSE MY GAINS AND MY MONEY
Angel Brooks
>>fractured jaw, broken eye socket, teeth on one side of mouth missing Godamn this is impressive levels of spaghetti spilling. Work on your gains while you can so you can defend yourself in prison. Good luck user godspeed
Kayden Miller
I don't believe you.
Gavin Ross
I'm pretty sure you can prove it was accidental, and worst that can happen is the ban. Then again I don't know about the Australian court system
Josiah Flores
>fractured jaw, broken eye socket, teeth on one side of mouth missing
Definitly deserved it. Maybe now she has time to workout because she's an uggo now. Fucking gymcels
Josiah Collins
this didnt happen
all they would have had to do is look at security footage
fuck off
Zachary Morales
Pretty sure australia is a matriarchy at this point and he's fucked.
Xavier Gomez
I know this is probably total bullshit but I want to believe
Dubs and this is real and op will get a life sentence from Stacie's rich lawyer dad
Julian Stewart
this would be on the news if it was real
David Flores
uh oh fellow australian don't include me in the cap of inevitable reaction posting fags
Caleb Ward
This
>literally admits to being Australian >expects anyone to believe his story
Aiden Baker
This
Gavin Allen
Op is a liar and a faggot, as always
Caleb Green
Not the faggot called OP
>today I was banned from Anytime Fitness in Australia.
Give it some time, It might show up later today.
If true, Most definitely
Camden Nguyen
i mean.... that woop woop wannabe pony-express is sure ought slow when ya keep troin to 'av a go with the them sheep
Sebastian Butler
any of you guys ever had 4 plates loaded up on your back?
you can't accidentally swing around a loaded barbell
nice try tho
Adam Collins
>spinning around fast enough to a) hurt someone, and b) not give the person enough time to react - with 180 kg on your back
you're a retard for making bait this shitty
Juan Watson
>Can't squat more than 2pl8 >Knees weak, arms heavy, your squat is spaghetti
Bentley Price
Shouldn't the cage stop you spinning around?
Carson Young
>instantly spin around >while loaded with 4pl8 Yeah nice try faggot, might have believed you if you said 2pl8
Gabriel Butler
That part is believable if he's in a half rack, or one of these
Zachary Brown
He would still hit one side of that, thus preventing him from turning around fully
Andrew Bennett
you guys are actually fucking retarded if you think OP wasn't just making shit up
if you have to question what's real or fake on Veeky Forums, then kill yourself
Charles Morales
fuck off OP
Grayson Rogers
I don't believe you.
Owen Brooks
if real she deserved it for touching someone mid-set
Hudson Reyes
He doesn't have to turn a full 90°, she allegedly tapped him on the shoulder so she would probably be behind him and to his side. If he struck her with just the plate closest to the center, he wouldn't need to turn far at all. Fuck off fagtron
Nolan Gomez
Not even OP faggot
Cooper Cooper
>calls out users who called out OP, because they're retarded for believing in OP
what did he mean by this
Jackson Powell
I don't believe you.
Hudson Barnes
>Squating 4 plate outside a cage Wha?
Ian Davis
Your mistake was enrolling in Anytime Fitness. Now let me tell you my story how I got banned
>finish my workout >shower >time to go straight to work >2 guys standing right in front of the door >trying to get in but there were no staff because it's only 6 am in the fucking morning >but i need to go to work >open the door and told them they should wait for the staff >they go in anyway >too much of a sperg to tell them to get out >got banned a week later for letting strangers in the gym
Fuck this gym
Liam Garcia
>twisting your torso with 4pl8 resting on it
Asher Johnson
> people call out op for faking > makes post about those same people believing OP > ??? Holy shit is everyone on Veeky Forums a brainlet
Owen Russell
What kind of fags wait outside a gym they aren't members of at 6am
Logan Moore
Yeah that's your fault user, shit position but still your fault for not telling them to fuck off and shooing those Pigeons off
Anthony Rodriguez
I told them to wait though
Asher Cox
Idiots, but then I'm the bigger idiot for letting them in.
Oh well, it's such a shame this is the only gym in my country where I can easily access it anytime and anywhere before and after work.
Joseph Mitchell
>Implying we have amerifat racks or machines here in aus, though, to be fair, I work out at Zap wich has much more lunk to it.
Anytime fitness is basically planet fitness here also; Go to zap, its more expensive but its better desu
Dylan Martinez
4D CHESS!!!!!
Isaac Torres
For some reason people at my gym insist on squatting outside the cage/safeties. I don't know what the fuck their problem is. Do they want to look tougher? Its safer not just for yourself, but for others to do it inside the safeties.
>have to bail out in cage/safeties >weight drops a few inches, has nowhere to go, is contained
>have to bail out outside cage/safeties >weight drops a couple of feet, serious risk of damaging yourself and seriously injuring others as it rolls
Grayson Gutierrez
Is there a snap fitness nearby?
Evan Green
>not maximizing the stakes as motivation Bet you'll push a little harder for that PR when failing the rep will paralyze you
Samuel Lopez
None.
Nathaniel Hill
>managing to "spin around" with 4pl8.
Yeah alright buddy
Pics of quads though, no homo
Grayson Smith
Similar thing happened to me user >overhead deadlifting 5 pl8 on bring your daughter to the gym day >chick in front of me stretching in the free weight area >she bends down to touch her toes and lets out a squeaky brap >i get startled because i think its a rat or a mouse or some shit >spin the barbell around my head at approx 3600 rpm >mfw forgot clips >crush three children
Currently posting from jail. Fuck cardiobunnies
Connor Stewart
>no clips >newborn infant on each side of you >5pl8 squat
Heaven or Hell, lets rock.
Jose Ortiz
IT's not though, he's a gym member, not a fucking bouncer, what is he meant to fight them?
If the gym is going to be open it should have staff members, they cant have no staff and then complain if people enter.
Dylan Stewart
You can't accelerate a 4pl8 barbell to the rotational speed it would require to fuck someone up like that just by turning around. Especially since all the mass is on the outside of the bar, higher moment of inertia etc.
Cooper Bennett
Exactly what you would say OP.
Ayden Lee
i think a key selling point of an 'anytime fitness' is that it's 24x7
Evan Peterson
>still falls for the ironic shitpost
Liam Miller
OP show us a photo of your invitation to court.
Andrew Bennett
bullshit OP. that probably would have taken at least a 90 degree turn even with that much weight. also how the fuck did you turn around so quickly with that much weight anyway? sage
Grayson Perez
>be me >in gym >doing bicep curls >Stacy comes up behind me and says "Hey user..." >turn around so quickly the two dumbells fly out of my hands and murder two people instantly >y-you too... >posting this from prison I hate roasties
Camden Miller
>"Hey are you working out?" >"I thought it was funny since we're both in the gym"
Blake Price
8 years
Cameron Long
kek
Ian Rodriguez
You destroyed some insidious thot with your gains. Congrats bro, you made it.
David Edwards
>be me >do french press with barbell 2pl8 >some guy preparing to do preacher curls >gym priest accidentally fucks up ritual and drops holy protein milk >guy screams of anger >i get startled and catapult the barbell through the gym >hits 2 people -instantly dead- and collides with the cage of the gymbear >bear escapes and mauls a receptionist >doesn't tip
mfw
Isaac Carter
bad bait, go fuck your kangaroo while you think of another one.
Easton Garcia
it reminds me a story
>at the gym doing bench press >one girl come in the middle of my rep >she starts to literally lay on me while I'm doing my rep >I can't push the bar anymore >it falls on her throat >she dies >gym staff shoots me in the head >I wake up in prison
Fucking girls...
Leo Ramirez
Not even a little bit believable.
Charles Martin
Cmon OP please post any proof at all
Leo Parker
Holy shit you literally delivered Holy Retribution
Xavier Thompson
>this thread
Oliver Lee
Oh gosh I love this new meme
Bentley Campbell
>at the gym doing OHP >forgot to put on one of my clips >girl walks by and bumps into me >one side's weights fall down, stunning her >knocked out of ballance I try to stabilize the bar but it ends up swinging downwards in a rotary motion >slip >spin in the air towards the door with the bar in my hands, screaming >knock down a bunch of people coming in >black gym owner beats the shit out of me >tfw end up disfigured and doctors don't know if I can ever recover
Brayden Gray
I wish this was me. People in jail make sick nasty gains in really short periods of time. You ain't going to lose shit you're going to gainz heaven.
Cooper Powell
>it's another r9k virgin revenge fantasy episode
Charles Russell
Veeky Forums, why do so many of you confuse fixed barbells work EZ curl barbells? Pic related; this is NOT an EZ curl bar. Hint: EZ curl barbells are easier to curl than straight barbells. Why would that be?
James Morales
At least you can now teach others how to not be like you.