FPH FPS for all your fethate needs

Getting a lifeguard cert ain't easy. If she can do it while still being so fat, I'm thoroughly impressed

What's difficult about it?

what're some FPH tv shows? shit like that one where they secretly record the fatties eating then present them with the food (and if you know the name of that one please tell me)

Secret Eaters is what you described, some episodes of 600lb life are good

They should just get her addicted to coke or something it'll either kill her or thin her out.

This may be one of the worst ones I've seen. I don't want to have to walk an extra 30ft so YOU have to get parked in instead.

She'd just bulk a bit slower, is all.

>Whitney way thore
More like Whitney weighs more

when you steal memes from previous threads

>floats effortlessly
>can be used as a raft
>can fit up to a small family
>can survive for months with only water and a multi

She's literally made for the job.

When high waisted jeans finally go the fuck out of fashion and be banished to the deepest fucking depths of hell to burn in the hottest of fires for all eternity?

high waisted jeans are the most superior jeans, you goddamn heathen

>be petite skinny fat in the process of becoming a musclebound freak
>work at fast casual restaurant
>Often asked for recommendations by customers
>Landwhale waddles in
>Confused by lack of burgers and fries
>"So... What's good-"
>Fat bags at the corners of her mouth ripple
>The beast is smirking
>"Well, why would I ask you that, you don't eat anything"
>Smile broadly and pretend I didn't hear that
>She orders an 800 cal meal
>Rewards herself for eating her vegetables with a 500 cal brownie
>Diet Coke because "some people have trouble dieting"
The amount of grown women I have seen reward themselves for eating vegetables with those brownies is astounding. They're like children

athletic at any size user. if you don't agree youre a bigot

>maybe a move
I doubt it

And these fat fucks usually drive the most bloated landbarges.
I think we should make a class of cars, just like the japanese kei-cars, tax exempt and reduce regulations for them.
But we should add a thing like maximum 500 kg total weight instead of power/displacement limits.

>fatfucks are not allowed to drive car due to maximum weight
>light cars are back
>basic cars get cheaper
>sports cars like the Lotus Super 7 get a thing again
>performance is related to driver weight
>1,0L ecoboost or 13b-REW would make power/weight ratio go crazy
>imagine a LS-swap in that

Say that after meeting a hot girl, getting into bed with her, and then finding out she's been hiding 50% of her bodyweight in her jeans

I nearly threw up user. Low waisted jeans are the masterrace

>Stairs

Fucking kek

>fatfuck
>finnishing a triathlon
TOPKEK

A short distance triathlon includes:
1,5 km swimming
40 km cycling
10 km running

A ironman triathlon includes:
3,86 km swimming
180,2 km cycling
42,195 km running (marathon distance)

All of that without any pause or anything.

I could probably finish a short one since I´m a extreme cardiofag, but a ironman is out of reach even for most of Veeky Forums.

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>discipline is bad
I want off

Marathon running is 42,195 m.
You're literally off by a factor of 1,000.

>Marathon running is 42,195 m.
No, that would be a short sprint, also why measure a distance to the millimeter for a sports event?

The earths circumference is just over 40,000 km. Your proposed marathon distance involves running a lap around the earth.
And then more.

I need to get my shit together

Behold, Down's syndrome and an inability to write out numbers is a deadly combination indeed.

>earts circumfence is 40km
Let me guess, it is flat as well?

How about I just run you through the basics.
k, short for kilo, prefix meaning one thousand.
m, the SI unit for distance, also known as meter.
1 km, a measure of one thousand meters.
40,075km, the estimated circumference of the planet earth.
42,195 km, the distance you proposed.
42,195 is a larger amount than 40,075, as such your distance is longer than the earths circumference.

40,000 =/= 40.000
He meant forty thousand, not forty POINT thousandsths.
40,200 > 40.200

400.2 = 400 + .2
4,002 = 4000 + 2

You are wrong,
40000 > 40,000
40,000 = 40

de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dezimalbruch

Oh. Maybe that's what he got wrong.
Certain countries switch up the point and comma when it comes to math.

Different countries then.
Here in North America, period separates decimals, comma just makes it simpler to read.
In North America :
40,000 = 40000
40.000 = 40

You could have guessed that I used the european system, since I used the metric system.

Actually, in Canada we use metrics just as much as Europeans.
Born in Moscow, we used periods to separate decimals there too.

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Saw this at the airport.

It upset me. Goddamn fatties

I got my lifeguard cert when I was smoking 2 packs a day and was out way out of shape, it's not difficult.

I see fatties try to act athletic all the time.

I sometimes ask them out for a run. They usually flake. But on a rare occasion one sows up. Always fun to see them quit after 250m and get all defensive.
I've made it a thing to get them to quit as fast as i can by gradually upping the pace.

You could've used decimals like a normal human being

I can never understand why girls who are swimmers can still be fat as shit

I don't see why it surprises you that whales are good swimmers.

>But we should add a thing like maximum 500 kg total weight instead of power/displacement limits.
Up it to 700kg and no engine limits and you have the right idea.

they're the girls that always come in last in races but people still cheer for them because 'at least they're trying'

>700kg
That is too heavy, my car is a 4 seater and weights just over 700 kg...

so funny xD le reddit response

This girl would be incredibly cute if she wasnt obese.

Brit here, we also use the point and comma system as described.

You lost both wars, the English way is superior

>this sign was sponsored by McDonald's USA

[spoiler]She's cute, I wouldn't mind her saving me[/spoiler]

Whale jokes where?

>implying the England was significant at any time
If it was just UK vs. greater Germany in WW1 or WW2 it would have been just like poland or france...

What the other user said. That and if you haven't watched Super Size Me, stop whatever you're doing and go watch it.

People have no fucking shame anymore, like how do you go out in public and have this attitude?

What kind of shitty cat litter box are you driving. A fucking Yugo?
I think the only time I drove a car under a ton was when I was learning to drive on an Opel Corsa C and thats 910kg on an empty tank.

Aygo without spare tire and no (almost) options.
It has the optional power steering, wich is about to get removed.

but that is offtopic...

American here, I use points in all my metric notes and measurements.

Does your car have a 750hp V6 and an AWD system?

>Super size me
>Good

>Does your 7xxkg car have a 750hp V6 and an AWD system?
No, that would be insane...

>Insane
Cookie cutter.

I think we are on the wrong board...

This has happened to me before, most guys wear loose shirts and in the winter it's especially hard to tell they have a gross beer belly under there. Guys with those saggy bodies always have like wide hips too it fucks me up

Every board is Veeky Forums if you believe hard enough.

Y'all niggas are forgetting a great car here

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Underrated post

[ C O O L V I B R A T I O N S ]

Since we are talking about small cars, how about a ban for large cars in inner citys?
Since fat fucks can´t fit into small cars, they would be forced to walk or loose weight...

>Just no sex

Thank fucking God.

>mmmm user, wanna give me a lil kiss ^.^?

Bobby Transjindal

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Every fucking time.

this

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Cant even tell gender

Boobs look more like real boobs than triangular man boobs. But that face is about as feminine as a scrotum. Fuck mind blown.

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a lot of track/xc kids like to be life guards bc the test is piss easy for them

Is all that purple mush fucking onions?

In my experience, high-waisted jeans are quite uncompromising on a woman's silhouette. It's easy to tell when they fit properly, and when they're used to vainly compress a sagging gut.

oh god she had to use the momentum from her gut rippling back and forth in order to do it. jesus fuck leave it to die

youtube.com/watch?v=SC2Ur6t0PdM

I want one of these more than anything in the world.

Sauce?

sure is summer

what's wrong with a fitbit? they're awesome if you actually use it. go fuck yourself.

Fat Families. The host is a wonderful shitlord

Because it's an outward sign she can use to placate her family and friends that she is really trying to do something about her ever-increasing mass, without really having to do anything.

Most of the time, fatties end up just making themselves even more depressed when they see how fat they really are.