What's a good routine for making social gains?

crossfit

Anyone else have no idea how to start to talk to people and not have them look at you like you shouldn't exist? When I try to spark up a conversation it's like people are repelled. It's not like I'm saying anything weird or yelling, it's not like I have BO or am hideously bad looking. I'll either get a response that's akin to what you'd get out of a stuck up high school girl like "Yeah... ooookaaaaay" or just a simple "Yep..."

Did you try being handsome and tall and non-autistic?

A lot of those responses depend on the setting. If the people are in the middle of transitioning to work, they're likely to be more curt. At a party, people are there to enjoy it, sure, but others are there for a person or two. This is especially true for bigger parties where not everyone knows one another.

Because you are an emotionally disordered person

I'm not even talking about parties as I haven't been to one in years (I don't even have any friends). I'm just talking about situations like the following:

>few weeks ago in grocery store
>walking down an aisle with my cart
>there's a lady (early to mid-40s looking) there shopping with her daughter
>I hear her go "Oh damn, the raisins are usually right here"
>I'm walking by and I casually say "Oh hey, I happened to see raisins in the aisle over"
>her response is "Oh"
>walks away

Or:

>couple of days ago
>go into restaurant to pick up food to take home
>while I'm standing there I notice some dude left a watch on the table
>grab it and jog out to the parking lot to give it to him before he drives off
>wave at him as I'm approaching and he puts down his window
>"Hey man, I think you left this in there"
>takes it from me, "k"
>drives off

I'm not asking for anyone to drop to their knees and start sucking me off or anything, but am I autistic for expecting a bit more from people? Maybe a "thanks" or even a slight smile?

>how to start to talk to people and not have them look at you like you shouldn't exist?
Stop giving a shit about how they look at you. Problem solved.

Let me get this straight, you expect absolute strangers who are going about their day to have a full blown, engaging conversation with you for literally no reason? You are a fucking autist

Did I say that? I literally wrote what I expect from people:

>Maybe a "thanks" or even a slight smile?

Those are pretty normal reactions, sempai.

In the case of the raisin woman, I can understand her response, because you basically answered her question.

The other one, yeah, I would have been more grateful if someone got my watch back to me after having left it behind, or at least just said, "Oh, thanks!" Or something.

A lot of these situations are more or less a, "Here's your answer, now be on your way" sort, so yeah like you said, they're not situations where you get much out of people.

Big Lenny takes it, is addicted to it, hasnt fucked a genetic woman in years and has no plans to so theres that.

Are you talking TO them or talking AT them?

80% of all guys are autistic fucks who just talk about themselves or shit they care about.

To. I never talk about myself with strangers in real life unless asked. It's all very superficial stuff that most of the conversations are about.

How about your tone? Does your tone hint towards you being condescending? Lord knows I've struggled and still am struggling with that one.

make sure u show your emotions/charisma in your face when you speak. it could just be that you are monotoned, leading to the other person mimicking your non emotion.

But big lenny is a freak. He is not like us cooki3 cutters.

You just have to realise that your brain has needs, including social needs, and a reward system to drive you to fulfil those needs, which you might be cheating by creating fake social and sexual ties through the internet.

If you subconsciouslly continue to give your brain the feedback of successful interaction and social achievements by spending a lot of time online and immersing yourself in online communities and cultures, it will become instinctive for you to have this as the foundation of your social worldview, and every time you attempt an irl interaction it will seem alien and uncomfortable to you, and worse, you will have virtually no drive to improve that because you already have your needs attended elsewhere. Your brain doesn't see the face-to-face interaction as necessary, just superfluous.

But if you abstain from this and any other habit that can give you a false sense of belonging, and you start talking to more people irl, you'll come to them as a blank slate. You will be actually wanting to establish bonds with them, instead of just hoping that you can act it out. And you won't be, on an instinctive level, eager to return to the safety of your room.

So if you abstain from every online community, stop spending that much time on online boards and social media, and start interacting with people everyday, you will notice a shift in how you want to spend your free time. And where you get most of your positive social feedback from is also where you get the outter layers of your personality. If you have to re-adapt, you will be open to new social cues, new forms of interaction, new dynamics of conversation, new body language, you will learn to successfully mimic others, etc.

Record yourself speaking a piece of dialogue from a book or somethig, and listen back to it. You may have a small speech impediment you didn't notice, or an uninviting, robotic tone and cadence, something like that.

I used to be a terrible speaker, and people would always react like that to me, not because they were being shitty but because once someone makes you confused as soon as they open they mouth you're caught by surprise and act awkwardly.

>I never understood why people continue to say this
If you don't have friends that's a huge red flag for a potential gf.

those 2 people were just straight up dickheads.

A normal reaction would be "Thanks" + a smile.

Are you from LA or NY or something?

Small town (>3000 people) Canada.

I'd expect small town folk to be friendlier than that (but then again I'm not from NA so it might be different over there IE they dislike outsiders?)

Anyways bro I'm pretty sure those two people were just wankers and you were a good cunt in both situations.

>IE they dislike outsiders?
Maybe they do but I don't think so. Even at that, I'm hardly an outsider as I've lived most of my life here. It's not like I have any negative reputation; never fucked anyone from this place, never gotten into any fights, etc.

Ah well, it is what it is. I'm not crying about it but I'm just wildly confused.

this is going to get buried but this is literally 99% of all autism. For instance, I took an art class my last year of highschool and this kid sat beside me. He "says you got a partner?" I say no, so he asks if I will be his, I say yes, etc etc. Anyway, after that it was obvious he was autistic, probably is on /v/ right now desu. Like he talks to me about nerd stuff, some of which I like and respond to, but usually it was all about whatever the fuck he's doing with his computer or what he's doing with coding or yadah yadah yadah.
This is where all autism is rooted in. It's so easy to not be an aspie. You ask the person how they are doing, if they mention anything you can bridge another question about them with then do it. Otherwise comment on a shirt they are wearing, compliment them etc. It's a little gay to compliment a dude though, it's pretty situational. if you make it about them, look Veeky Forums and have a face that isn't hideous, they WILL like you 90% of the time. If they don't, it isn't you, it's something going on in their life and you should fuck off.
If any of this is helpful I can keep going for you aspies out there.

>>no one my age is looking for friends, if anything people my age are trying to cut out old friends to increase their free time

This is it. I just cut out a friend of 12 years because he fucked me over for money. I wrote a giant block text on the bullshit a 27 year old man still tries to pull and get away with, i've done it again... 3 month earlier I decided to judge him on action and not intentions... After he pulled some monologue out his ass about intending to pay me back and how I didn't trust him.

He never got more hours he claimed he had (they were taken off him), he needed to borrow more money to pay me back, I even noticed his mcemployer was hiring full time at another branch vs his zero hour contract. He started answering the phone/calling while his gf and (newbron) kids were shouting and crying in the background. He was going to make a payment towards what he owed but had no busfare/missed bus (not even 2% of what he was going to pay) and the other one was he dropped it walking to my house after missing the last bus and had his gf text me 'where is bf?' while he said he was on his way to mine then turned his phone off not to mention the 'You probably wont believe me but this is what happened' part.

I then thought back to all the times things went missing and while he never stole from me when it was him alone, or all the time. Whenever there was 4-5 people present and he was there... About 40% of the I noticed something would go missing, (this is going back to late teens for christ sake). I was accused of stealing money once... which ended a 8 year friendship. Anyway, you will never guess who I was with. I noticed the friendships and arguments he would have with people he would never explain... It was always them, 'just being a dick'. It just all started to fall into place. He probably did similar things to them.

That is why I never felt I owed him an explanation... I have more than paid for the priv to not hear his fucking excuses.

>I'm convinced making friends as an adult is not possible.

Do you have any hobbies or interests? For the sake of discussion, let's say yes. If you live in a decently large city, guaranteed there are meetups. Do a little digging and find out. You'll make friends that way.

Also, if you lift heavy enough that you have to ask people to spot you, that's a good way to meet friends as an adult.

You aren't making friends because you don't care enough to make friends. Simple as that.

First read this book or at least the chapters on making friends

Go to a bar or club every Friday or Saturday and talk with random people for starters. thinking about doing this too

>imagine needing a book to teach u how to make friends.

fuck stop being an autist and just go out

Get a job, you hippie. And then you'll have so many "friends" you'll hate them all
I'm looking at you, Karen from HR

even for people with good social skills it really helps.

what big difference does it make? it'll brighten your day a little? you'll still have no friends and they will forget you 30 seconds later

>not reading it to learn influencing people

Your pool of available women goes down quite a bit unless you really just hit on everyone you see wherever you may be at.

not being a retard

You are an introvert. Nothing wrong with that. I enjoy all that social shit but I'm reloading my batteries by being on my own.

just lie and tell girls you already have friends

Thats what I do. I have 2 friends and both are my relatives. Girls don't know that I'm not a socialite

I probably need this

Short blog:
>26
>Went through a phase of neetdom
>Back at uni, joined a compsci related club and made acquaintances
>Didn't have Facebook until very recently
>Have little bit of contact with old friends (just drifted apart)
>not really a lot in common with the CS lads but we get along
>no women so no 'talking to women' gains

My problem is that I don't really have anything in common with Normies or with nerds. I'm some inbetween brainlet drifter. My free time is spent on Veeky Forums, gym, schoolwork, and club activities.

I never went to a party and only went to a bar like three times.

I can probably fake being sociable enough to attract a girl but I'm clueless as to what the fuck couples do or where to take her. I also pretty much have no close friends. I really don't have anything to offer a woman, don't even have enough human contact to make fake tinder pics with a group of people for a profile.

What's a good Chad bio for tinder

Play a local team sport

>wIlLy WiLlY bAgInA

>every time I run into a girl in the corridors it's "hi user :)))))"
I don't know how to feel lads

>My problem is that I don't really have anything in common with Normies or with nerds
>My free time is spent on Veeky Forums, gym, schoolwork, and club activities
>I never went to a party and only went to a bar like three times.
>I also pretty much have no close friends
>don't even have enough human contact to make fake tinder pics with a group of people for a profile
delete this please

I would so much rather have more friends than a gf

You newfaggots. Learn how to meme arrow

That is really interesting

Women are attracted to social standing.

Self investment. The reason you are having trouble communicating with others is because you don't even have a relationship with yourself. Have a solid relationship and identity and social anxiety will be thrown out the window. Who gives a fuck what others think if you truly know yourself

Oh god you are me

Please be LI , NY

clearly there was and is need for such books, It is a good read

OP, THIS
One would think it's JB Peterson posting this

youtube.com/watch?v=V1zFeHJzS5E

Been thinking about it recently too.

If I'm spending lots of time online and don't have much amibtion (greater goals in life etc.) - these are subtle wants which have a small dopamine increase when I think about them. Are they clouded by supernormal stimulus such as videogames, clickbait articles etc.?

I was thinking whether I'd be more s o r t e d if went monk-er mode (less internet, nofap, no added butter/fat and salt to foods, no videogames and so on)

Watch this
youtube.com/watch?v=6pm8_cohgVg
Now go practice

It's mostly meant for being a smooth talker in business. But the advice can be applied in your social life as well.
The number 1 thing to take out of it imo is that people mostly want to talk about themselves, and its best to just get people talking about themselves in a conversation.

True Kino

post more advice please friend, Im not autistic but the thing I struggle with is holding extended conversations with females and people I dont find interesting. I can generally do small talk fine but Im pretty boring myself so often I dont have anecdotes to share in the conversation. Do you recommend just making some up.? I already lie quite a bit in casual conversation, but making up whole stories seems harder.

>>My problem is that I don't really have anything in common with Normies or with nerds
dude me () too. I think we are just boring fucks

No, CHI IL.

move here and be my friend pls

>My problem is that I don't really have anything in common with Normies or with nerds. I'm some inbetween brainlet drifter.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Just use some random lesser known, normal(i.e. nothing about cucks, feels or to edgy) greentexts, pretend it happened to a friend and pray no one else in the room browses the chon. Pic related is one of mine goto stories

What about goodlookingloser.com/anxiety/program-index/approach-anxiety-program-week-1-1

What's the max dosage for that?
I have to take around 2g to feel the effects and even then sometimes I don't feel them that much

You're not crazy, seems pretty rude of those people desu

the real challenge is finding someone irl that you don't despise

reading through that program, it sounds kind of fun. Might try it (not the parts about online dating or posting on their forum though)

Nobody's perfect homie

This sounds reasonable

Talking to people xF

I am 27 and I get to know new people all the time.
Of course you can't build childhood memories with them, but still nice friendships can be developed.