Noob gains pussy slay brag thread

Oophhh the haters are real itt

POST RESULT FAGS

he's implying you text like a 12 year old, not an autistic nerd.

The texts are legit making me cringe

Maybe you jealous twerps should take a page out of my playbook

NJ boys represent

post body though because ive been training 2 months and I still look like shit. Maybe cuz I'm cutting though

...

mirin delts
did u start out aushwitz mode?

Maybe you should stop texting like a middle schooler and people will stop insulting and laughing at you, faggot

Kys my dood

Kek.
Women really do not need much.
But Veeky Forums standards you are DYEL.

Yes. Ty lad

>that lighting
Make the first time count brah because she is going to be severely disappointed when she sees you irl. Who knows maybe your shitty body will make her laugh and she will fall in love with you only to cuck you later on in the relationship.

Kek, that pic is a few weeks old. I'll just get a pump before I see her

The desperation in your texts are a pretty clear indicator that you don't interact with attractive females very often. Enjoy the little you'll get

Good Job user, but you're talking like a retard to relate to these 18 y.o's, right? RIGHT???

>dyel
>long boneless cuck face
I refuse to believe anyone finds you attractive lmfao

Where did you meet her? Tinder?

this guy only has one hand and still has more sex than me

>tfw your conscious mind tries to fool your subconscious mind into confidence by anime board shitposting and anonymous bullying

>bragging about messaging a girl for a few minutes and being called hot

This is the state of millennial manhood. No irl interaction. No sex. Just a few minutes of messaging.

Anyone here using Hot or Not? I have a question.
I often get a message that a girl wants to chat with me. In 9/10 cases, she has however not written a message, the app simply shows me her profile and says she wants to chat, even though wee havent even matched. What does this mean? Did she just open the chat without writing anything?

I hate that you have to act like a retarded child to talk with women

Tfw the retarded child strategy is working
Tfw she texted me as soon as she woke up
Tfw she probably dreamed about me last night

why do normies always joke about killing themselves? almost every joke or normie meme i see is about suicide/depression/hating their life. is it just the popular attention whoring thing to be into now?

>your still growing after all
MODS MODS MOOOOODDSSS

Noooooo doooooonnttttt hahahah woaaaaaah

Nooo donnttt ecks dee xdxd don't do itttttt

women? Even my guy friends start calling me a lawyer if I forget to dumb it down when I'm bouncing between work emails and chatting.
The culture of self esteem created a generation that doesn't have any.

It's probably a >>>/reddit/ thing spilling over onto normiebook

>I'll just get a pump..

shes gonna get pumped by someone less autistic.. you're the self validation backup plan.

I'm every joke is a grain of truth.

What is this strategy user pls share

Everyone blasting this dudes text game have no idea how to pick up younger chicks.
>text like a real man
She's not trying to text her fucking dad faggots.

Are both of you retarded? Why do you text like that?

Teenage girls like that shit genius. It's just like how you won't use fucking emojis because they're fucking retarded but you do when your texting some chick. You niggers have no text game at all.

been a long time since I've seen a thread with this much impotent rage. yes you lift heavier things and are more aesthetic, stop bitching that nobody's buying your shit and start adjusting to market demands you whiny little cucks.

gg op, keep up the good work, get your cardio in pounding

>start adjusting to market demands you whiny little cucks.
>Changing to suit women and not for living a more fullfilling and virtuous life

This

Khv detected.

Fucking cringe.

What's cringey is how your hating the player and not the game

fucking kek

Didn't you get the memo depression is a meme and it's a fun little quirk according to these plebs

Meanwhile I've been lifting for 3 years and still have 18 year olds looking disgusted when I go near them

>ITT: Sour grapes that have never hooked up with borderline jailbait pussy.

I'm sure asking M'lady what is her favorite type of comma will get her panties wet :^)

Pics of her rimming you?

Looks like a starving vagabond.

...

OP plz

>no response
i think we all know the answer here

I did respond retardo, I said working on it

From what I've read on Veeky Forums, those of you lifting for women are REALLY doing it WRONG.

First of all, forget how "big" you are, forget how much you can diddly or squat or whatever. Given your height, what you need to do is 1) work on proportions, and 2) work on bodyfat percentage.

Proportions make you look big, and low bodyfat makes your face look the best it can be. Don't forget to take the Neck pill, as well as the jaw pill (chewing gum everyday for months will hypertrophy your masseter muscles).

After that, you need to learn how to take good photos with proper cameras: big focal length from far away, pointing slightly up at you (with good lighting). The overhead selfie cams literally feminize and slim your face. Which is probably why these bitches are letting themselves get so damn fat.

It's really that simple. I am 5'9 158ish lbs, stopped trying to meme and powerlift a few years ago (when I was 180ish), implemented what I described above, and literally increased my pussy intake 10x. I'm not even kidding, I'm averaging a new girl per week this year, vs. a few per year before.

Also it doesn't matter much how you text or interact with women. Once you pass a minimum "threshold" level of social skills ("game"), and can lead the logistics back to your place, you will get laid.

More results I've noticed. Tinder matches are >20x what they were a year ago. That means the number of dates I can go on is only limited by how many I choose. Girls message me first sometimes. Girls super like me sometimes.

This is just one year of being intelligent with one's aesthetics.

Some diet tips to quickly get where you need. Get on intermittent fasting. Shorten your eating window until you start losing weight (you can even go down to eating once/day). Go high fat and low carb. You don't need as much protein as you're eating right now - 1.5g/kg is honestly enough. Eat eggs to help boost cholesterol (which aids in testosterone production). Have broccoli and high fiber foods to flush out estrogen and aromatase. Supplement zinc, selenium, vit D, magnesium to further boost T levels. Fix your goddamn sleep and make sure you average 7-8 hrs a night over the week.

In terms of getting proportions at the gym. Work your neck and traps hard to get a masculine look while you're clothed. Because most of the time you will be clothed. Then shoulders and back to get broad V-taper. Forearms will do more for your physique than biceps or triceps, believe it or not. Rear delts are underrated but great for having 3D delts and overall shoulder health to keep you pushing strong without injuries or mobility issues.

so should i stop doing diddlys? what routine do you do?

gimme tips on pics brah pls

No pics on me right now. But what you can go is use a website like photofeeler.com to get a feel for how your aesthetic (and your ability to present it) is changing. It's percentile ranked, meaning you find out if you're 50th percentile (median man) or 80th percentile (top 20%). I went from having pics in the 50-60th percentile to 85+, with my best one scoring 99th percentile. I did a few skin touch ups to get there though haha (I have some mild acne).

I still do a lot of posterior chain work in addition to what I mentioned. Rack pulls and deadlifts are good for the traps, but nothing beats power shrugging (look at olympic lifters' traps). Plus I just really like those motions since I have long limbs (though I hate squats).

My routine is based on what muscle groups I want to focus on for aesthetics, which I've mentioned. The way I do it is progressive volume overload. So take barbell shoulder press for example. I'll try and move X thousand lbs per workout with an initial weight that I can do a set of 10-15 reps with (subsequent sets decrease in reps). Then next time I do that exercise, I'll try and do 1.05*X thousand lbs or whatever. This method has given me guaranteed hypertrophy and muscular adaptation even while cutting or having a bad day (low sleep, being sick, etc) because I can just hit more sets to get the volume. And the volume overload is what causes your muscles to grow.

IMO the best tool for lifting is a log book to jot down your volume every workout. More volume week over week and your body is forced to adapt. Much easier (and better results) for me than trying to hit low rep PRs, or doing what I thought was high volume but never measured so I just gave up when I got tired.

Oh I misread slightly, you want male photography tips.

Well to get started, you need a real camera, with a real lens. You can get a decent one for $400 or so I think. Then you want to take pictures where you are "zooming", i.e. changing the focal length to be bigger. Smartphones have focal lengths between 20mm to 50mm which really causes a lot of distortion. What you really want is 130mm+, which is a bit of a zoom, so you need to take it from further away. See pic related for basic focal length effects.

Then you want the camera to be pointing slightly upwards at you, probably at your neck. You know how women have the "myspace angle" that makes them look better? They hold the camera above them and use selfie cams (low focal length) to distort (lengthen/slim) their faces. Well, for men it's the opposite. Slightly below with bigger focal length.

BTW, based on my experiences and what I've been describing, I'm putting together a fairly comprehensive e-book on fitness, aesthetics, presentation, and online dating. Is this something people would be interested in?

>jumping through all these hoops to impress randos on tinder

lol

Would it be better to remain a virgin?

>not using intelligence to self improve and procreate one day

wew

thanks cunt

even more cringe is if this girl ever found out the 'hot older guy' she was getting attention from said things like "18 yo pussers" and bragged about getting a compliment from her on an internet forum in order for people to congratulate him on his extreme virility jesus fucking pips

Or maybe OP just posted this to trigger sperg lords like you? It's working pretty damn well!

>26 years old
>still writes like that
Wholeheartedly kys

This got me

>18 yo pussers
thought i was the only one who thought this was retarded as fuck

Girls under 22 might as well be labeled full blown retarded. I'm probably just mad I don't have any 18 year old pussy.

>the absolute state of normie textual communication

>not realizing OP is playing a character
I swear, how are there so many KHVs on a fitness board?

But, why though? Why does the character have to be a mentally disabled child?

>26 year old
>brags about getting a 18 years girl

Lmfao u are a textbook incel, I wonder if you have the balls to go out with her in public, seeing an old fart like that lmao.

>this is what women want
>this is what normies think is attractive

>have better body than this
>no gf
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

real victims suffer in silence. if you see someone talking in public or on social media about their problems and overcoming them they are most likely putting on an act to get victimhood hierarchy cred

>tfw been chewing gum nonstop for at least 8 years and it unwittingly gave me a yuge jaw

Hey Veeky Forums. How many matches do you get on tinder? Out of all of your matches, how many do you turn into actual dates, something like 1/30, 1/40? Most girls will just stop talking to you, right?

Let me give you bros some advice: if she just stops talking to you, LIE ABOUT HAVING A TRUST FUND. Over half of the girls who ignored you will want to talk to you again. Then just ask if she wants to cuddle or fuck or something, a date will be a lot harder because you need to borrow your dad or your friend's nice car and keep up the charade all night.

I can attest to banging some 9/10s like this, then when they text you the next day you just ignore them because they're dumb cunts.

bragging about tinder hookups is just a way to reveal how vapid and empty you are inside

you will realize this in the future, user. everything rots, including you. nothing you do or brag about what you do on an anonymous clandenstine knitting forum will change any of that. coward.

>tfw 600 matches (would have almost 2k but deleted and reinstalled)
>tfw actually do have a trust and anout 1m in liquid assets

I try to hide this shit tho because girls that know I have money act completely different.

I don't get it. Why do sloots think that if a guy has a lot of money, he will waste it on a fancy car instead of saving every penny and drive low key 2005 Camry. I mean, it's just a car.

Girls don't know shit about money management dude.

Gib 10k pls

there is a guy at my gym who is missing his left arm from his mid bicep down. his still has a gf and gym friends.

gib 100 dollars plz ;_; im so poor

Congrats I guess?

Know how rich people stay rich? There's no one real answer but it for sure isn't giving money out to randoms on Veeky Forums.

Also gotta take chances

He's right tho you know

You are one dumb fuck. Mental gains needed

do this. IT WORKS WONDERS BRO youtu.be/oUSwzU4H-VU

Everyone else was saying it as a joke?
r-right... s-so was I...