Sex is a type of cardio user, why are you not doing sex for those sweet pelvic gains?

I had no reason to believe I was ugly as girls showed interest me during my teenage years, but I royally fucked up many opportunities to grow romantically and sexually and thus ended up a sexually stunted teen with none of the experience I needed to be confident. To this day I've only seriously kissed (makeout) 2 women, and both times I was trashed drunk. I had "sex" with one of the girls but that was such an awful experience I just want to forget it altogether if I could.

At this point I've just resigned myself to the label "ugly" and life goes much smoother that way, but I probably won't be having sex again anytime soon.

I don't have patience with sexting or courting women for months just to have sex, I prefer paying prostitutes because not only does it not have any strings attached, you get varieties of women to choose from time to time. Different girls means different kinds of pleasures so that is a great way to start engaging in sex especially if you never had any experience at your old age.

The only downside is it's costly and the risk of AIDS

What manlet incel you are

thanks buddy

>there's at least one or two girls who have masturbated thinking about you user.
so fucking cringe.
if you honestly believe that you're such a fucking loser holy fuck

>le r9k meme shit xD
stick to reddit you pathetic piece of shit

>why are you not doing sex

I'm not sure.

I do believe that, especially if you stopped being a negative-minded fatass and had began lifting for yourself. There are ugly guys out there getting laid like how there are 9/10 late twenties guys out there who never had a gf due to low self-esteem.

>reddit
Just for the record, I don't browse that liberal shithole. Why don't you go back there instead

how the hell do fat men have sex

if you have shit stamina your enjoyment must be so limited

how long can you have a dry spell before it becomes too long

mine is 3.5 yrs

You go to the gym until you stopped being obese

do the sex with yourself

>Had sex every day for the last 2 months
>Still 192 Lbs with 22% bodyfat

I don't think sex is good cardio.
But it could be my diet!

I just moved to a new State... since then I have been trying to get out of a horrible long distance relationship with my bitch ex gf...Been so lonely and made no gf prospects in new state

Because I'll only have sex with my waifu and sadly she's not real

dont bother to help someone like that , user. they have no value to themselves and will just drag you down

How can girls masturbate to me if girls have never seen me?

Mine was 6 years. Honestly, stop defining yourself through sex, and instead get really good at something with economic value and get fit. Your confidence - the true kind, not the bullshit cocky pride of pretenders - will go through the roof, and girls will come. Now just ignore the ones who are gold digger cheating whores, and long term bang the one with the best combination of looks, values, and skills and you'll be set

Tfw only last 2 minutes

Get involved in community service of your choice, you'll meet a ton of locals. If you're religious that's also a great way to meet people, and then branch out

This is where pelvic exercises comes in user. Generally, sex lasts up to 5 mins. at most, don't let porn videos fool you into thinking that men can have sex for the whole half an hour, they're called porn actors for a reason.

There's an alternative though, you can masturbate before you have sex, you can literally fuck for more than 8 mins.

It's not an alternative to a treadmill but you burn around 100-150 calories during sex but only if you can last long.

I am ugly user cranio-facial deformities. No girl would ever fuck an ugly manlet like me boyo so I have to do other forms of cardio instead.

Pics

I last well over an hour during sex, what are you on about?

best cardio for sex? HIIT? Swimming? Rowing? Stationary bike?

Gf is undergoing biopsies for ovarian cancer.
Her bits are pretty beat up currently from those procedures.
And her hormones are all over the place and her state of mind is a bit fucked from worrying about her vagina.
All this started after we'd only been dating 2 months so I feel a bit trapped here

Does anyone in the world cares?

shit breh how you gonna do a bro on the 'ch0n like dat, f4m?

That's why I'm not currently having sex for cardio user, so i care.

why would anyone want to fuck for over an hour?

This is literally a fucking joke thread. You are excusing yourself in an anonymous board fucking joke thread. The all point of this is for people to make snarky jokes and then there are people like you seeking some sort of validation in an anonymous forum.

Holy fuck you are pathetic.

Also, do people even talk about fucking fitness here? Or is this just dumb teens insecurity 101 club?

Dude, are you me? I'm in the exact same situation you are in right now, word for word but I'm doing the very best to see the brighter side of things. Just remember this travesty won't last forever. Just gotta keep your chin up and improve everything about yourself until you're finally content. Stay strong brotha, and don't you dare stop being the best you can be.

inserting a fleshlight into a body pillow isn't sex, user

any bros want to help another bro out and have sex with me?

It's a shitpost thread m8 no need to get your hackles all up. Half the posts are >tfw no gf
In any given thread on Veeky Forums, especially since/r9k/ moved in and started shitting on the floor and refusing to leave. I just answered the prompt
Why you hef to be mad?

Try 24 years. I'm going to become a wizard though, so there's that

>tfw no gf

Idk i guess im mad with what the fuck happened around here in the last 3 years or something since ive been out. I mean do people even discuss fitness around here? Or is just all "is my jaw square enough?" "am im tall enough?" "is my dick big enough". I guess 4 chan is just dead. Populated by teens.

Im out

Peace.

>implying gf means a lot

Getting a gf is tiring as fuck, not to mention the expenses you have to pay just to satisfy her shopping appetite and all that shit.

If you're young, you should concentrate on getting physically and mentally fit. Our prime is at late 20s to early 30s so the best time to get married is usually at your 30s unless you are a dumb fuck who spent all his savings into useless trash.

Ive been on Veeky Forums since 2012 and there's always been threads like this.
The lookism shit is from the last 2 years but posting feels and gf shit is nothing new. You're right to be mad about the state of the board but it's entirely misdirected at me.
I'm glad you're taking your tism elsewhere, you have provided nothing of value to either me or the latest brand of shitposters.

>courting women for months

I would consider prostitutes if i lived in Europe, there would be a lot of diversity there. Unfortunately in my country, most of the whorehouses are filled with chinks

>tfw you don't suffer from yellow fever

you realize when you get good you can choose the women you want to fuck

n...no homo

>be 26
>only have sex twice
>lost a lot of weight and want to put myself out there
>too embarrassed because I feel sexually inadequate for my age

;_;

>too embarrassed because I feel sexually inadequate for my age

aside from h00kers, how does one overcome this?

Getting a gf helps because they tend to be understanding, cause you know, theyre about you

>there's at least one or two girls who have masturbated thinking about you user

statistically speaking this is unlikely if someone is below average looking, hell, even if he's attractive it might not have happened. women barely masturbate. don't fall for the equality narrative, always remember that only a third or so of women have orgasms regularly.

I dont have a spotter

Why wouldn't you want to fuck for over an hour? Are you low test?

>there's at least one or two girls who have masturbated thinking about you user.
I approve your points but this is BS and you know it. In this age, where you can find the most attractive people with the click of a mouse on your computer, men and women will masturbate to the most attractive ones, it's just natural.

Still, it isn't difficult to get a gf

just got back from a tinder hookup

she unmatched me as I was in the elevator going back to the hotel lobby

Chick from my old work said she rubbed one out to me on more than one occassion. Fucking cruel thing to admit to me because she was my oneitis and would never leave her rich bf.

Ah but since, I have mastered the blade and transcended beyond oneitis and into euphoria. Also got a gf

Did you have sex?
If yes, then it's a win for you

yeah but couldn't bust, she seemed to enjoy things at least

been on tinder for six months and still not really sure about how it works...

Kek reminds me of my mate who lost his virginity on his 18th to a fat chick who immeadiately dumped him and cracked jokes about him behind his back.
My other mate ended getting the shits one night at a pissup and kicked her in the cunt. We all had a good laugh and she passed into legend.

she wanted to cheat with you. you're a good man for not seeing that, or denying it.

In the past 3-4 months I've banged around 11-13 different girls from tinder.

At this point I cannot be bothered anymore. (2 weeks since last fuck)

Getting offers by other chicks, messages, etc. Just really cbf. Give it another 3 weeks and I bet ill be back in it but yeah.

how attractive are you/how good are your pics

7-8. face wise. Body varies (body dysmorphia)

Once I get them on snap and send a body pic its a sure thing.

>7-8
that explains it... I have a 2-3 face

dude you can't be that bad

Actually I reckon I maybe have a 6-7 face. I got that classical handsome look. But sometimes I look in the mirror and say "damn you're good looking" othertimes I think I'm an ugly cunt

post pic of classical handsome look?
If not yours then some celeb with similar type of looks

I have a particular situation so pathetic that I don't even know how to put it in words.

My oneitis likes me, and I've been in "love" with her for over a year. I don't even masterbate to her because I think its too dishonorable of me to ruin her image in my mind like that. Why haven't I asked her out yet? It's not that I fear rejection, I fear everything afterwards. I'm deeply afraid that if she gets to know me she'll discover the loser that I am. I'm deeply afraid my autism will immediately show on the first date for I am a kissless 19 virgin who hasn't had a single female friend ever. I don't want to ruin her image of me, I don't want to put her through what I am and worst of all is I don't think I deserve her. She thinks I'm smart, and Veeky Forums because I am I guess, but how can she ever love me if I can't love myself? I work a min wage job and get shit grades in uni, I spend most my time on a computer or day sleeping because I'm stuck in a cycle of repeated days where nothing changes and I wallow in my misery.

Wtf am I supposed to do? I get so anxious of making any move because I'm so afraid of putting myself out to her because I think of myself as such a loser.

>tfw 33 year old kv
>guys on tinder are sleeping with all the girls
;_;

I can't find one but pretty decent looks. Professional career, nice cars, own two places, good fashion etc so I guess its not that hard. Even when I blatantly just came out and said to one lets fuck without even trying to impress she just agreed. I was meant to pick one up to come to mine this Friday but I couldn't be fucked so I just stood her up and havent responded to her snap messages since. Bitch was wild though kept dirty talking for a few days. Wanted to be choked, slapped, ass fucked, the works.

I'm also very early 20's but I look like I'm late 20's so chicks dig that

If all you are after is getting laid you just gotta play the odds. You see a profile that says they are in town for the night/weekend you swipe right on that shit.

Wrong, swipe right on every single profile you see.

Same here. Hopefully about to break the streak, just started going out with a qt who seems into me

if you were a 6-7 face with awesome body youd be able to get girls IRL, not whores off a slut app like tinder

I have an 8.5 Inch benis and I like to go deep

tfwnogf

Oh shut up. It's like normies refuse to believe ugly people exist and that we all have the same chances to get laid. Lmfao. That actually makes sense since ugly people are invisible to normies.

To do list:
>ask her out
>start doing better in uni
>dont spend that much time on the computer

If she likes you and she is worth your time she won't care you are a virgin.

I probably could. But I prefer ap. Few minutes into convo, ask for snap. Send pics. They get horny and want to fuck.

Can't really take your shirt off irl and say lets fuck comes off as a creepy

You will regret every chance not taken. Ambiguity, neither a yes or a no, is not a good place to be. Ask her out, do your shit, and since you've already got an in since she likes you, you'll do alright. She's the same age as you, and just as much of a dating idiot. Get out of your head, and just fucking go for it. You got this.

My average time is 10 min ( yes I use to time myself years ago). I can reach the 20 some odd min from time to time. My record is 31 mins. All natural, no pill needed.
How can you not last long?

the algorithm will flag you if you do that

also come to think of it. I think I'm the definition of chad

>"professional" career
>multiple cars and "places", let's assume apartments
>very early 20s

wtf

why are you working minimum wage while in scchool? whle you are a student you should be working a full time $100k a year job

>rich parents
wtf

first day on fit? The average poster of this board is 20-21 years old, works a 100k+ a year engineering or computer science job or is a doctor, has multiple luxury vehicles and vacation homes, great expensive fashion sense, also are handsome, ripped, fit social gods who have more sex by age 14 than most guys have in their entire lives

that guy is pretty par for the course on here

Nah, I saw it mane..
I saw it

My old female housemate used to masturbate every single morning. I'd always hear her having an orgasm and the sound of her vibrator while I was getting up to go to work. I don't think she ever realised just how easily sound travelled through the house.

First it was pretty awkward but after a while it just became background noises.

I'm a labourer. Earn 70 after tax a year. Not that hard

Only moved out 6 months ago

>5 minutes, at most

Fuckin' kek. I once had sex for six hours non stop. I also had sex 18 times in one day.

I can't believe only lasting five minutes. Shit, I'm barely getting started with foreplay.

Please tell me you guys aren't seriously only having sex for 5 minutes!

lol, virgin

>+ being circumcized

That actually increases feeling as you no longer have a fatty flab insulating the penis head. The hood is designed to protect the head when walking through the brush naked, so it has very little nerve connections. Be glad you don't have a 3rd world peasant dick and be sure to thank your parents.

>6 hours nonstop

A dildo up your ass doesn't count as sex user.