Tfw banned from the gym because I couldn't solve the dumbbell lizard's riddle

>tfw gym charges by the second
Never been more efficient but damn wish I could rest more between sets

>Lizard from the 6th dimension fucked me over the preacher curl

Not again!

>gym falcon perched on the barbell I was benching mid-rep.
A momentous occasion it was.
Everybody stopped what they were doing and cheered me on.
>was awarded the gym twink for the day.
>fed him to the gym falcon
>was blessed with hypertrophy bonuses by the falcon.

The game is pay to win, I suggest biting the bullet and buying a couple of the lootboxes. You should get some high level lifting gloves, a belt and some testosterone to get you started.

>Banned from free weights area because the gym amazon conveniently forgot her squat plug and wanted to use me instead
>She just wanted free protein and test injections and to steal my gains by doing some arcane ritual
>She only wants to see me fail in my curl battle against the swollest one.

Do you not have a Supreme Gym Council? If that happened to me, I would take that to court? The Council at mine is shady sometimes though, a few are under investigation about dismissing a few cases and now there are a few manlets running around.

Who do you think controls the Supreme Gym Council.
The only way to break his iron grip upon the iron is to beat him in a curl off.
Everyone suffers underneath his and his council of swole.
The Curlknights
The Instanymphs
The Barbellbarians
The Musclewizards
The Basicwitches try to stay out of it but they too seek gainz.
The Amazons are completely under their sway as their gainz are the hardest to come by
The Calisthenicsmonks are simply sitting upon the sidelines but the winter is coming and their sacred playgrounds of self mastery will be frozen over.
They have complete control over the GAINZ and someone has to put a stop to it.

>tfw the gym shaman put a status ailment of -3 STR, -1 AGI, -1 END on me for 5 days.

>tfw I didn't do enough reps to please the barbell golem

It's quite annoying because now I have to bring him a tribute next time I'm at the gym or else he'll slash my tires.

>tfw left weights on the bar so the gym witch doctor shrunk me into a manlet

>get home from the gym
>put my bag down, take off my shirt, put my blender bottle in the kitchen to wash it after I shower
>head to my room
>see my cup on my desk and remember that I took creatine this morning, I forgot to rinse the cup afterwards
>we have these tiny gnats that somehow get in my house
>realize my mistake
>suddenly these giant fucking mosquito/fly things come flying at me, they ate the rest of the creatine and got swole
>they knock me down and start drinking my blood and eating my gains
>try to roll over and fight back but no matter what I do, they bite the part I touch them with and make it weaker
>all of a sudden a giant grey panther, like 10 feet long, charges the fuckers
>great when the fuck did a panther get in my house
>tears into them, drinks their blood and the gains they stole from me
>half eaten giant mosquitos are on my floor
>I’m frozen in pure terror and awe of what happened
>all of a sudden it turns at me, realize I’m fucked
>hear a loud chirp/purr and it rushes to me, rubbing its head on my body and licking me
>look at the panther closer, realize it’s my cat
>she ate the creatine too and got bigger, at least my mistake fixed itself
I ride her to the gym now, it’s pretty great

>finish my squats, I’m a little thirsty
>head off to the gym trough
>It’s a little after 11:30 and not a lot of people are here, trough is still full
>bend down and get a nice drink, go back to do deadlifts
>finishing my last set and notice it just hit noon
>oh fuck, the lunch hour manlets are here
>I hear a thousand little rumbles come down the stairs
>manlets rushing over to the benches, dumbbells and machines
>why the fuck aren’t they in the manlet pit
>where the fuck is the PT
>I can hear loud, high pitched yelling from up in the deadlift loft, “LIGHTWEIGHT BABY!”, “MIRIN” “TFW NO GIANTESS GF” and the like
>just want to finish my sets
>go back to the gym trough to get one last drink
>it’s now just about empty, filled with hairs, shitty pre-workout that they spilled in there, not to mention manlet venom
>last time I drank from it after the manlets went there I was sick for a week
>why the fuck isn’t the PT here cleaning up this shit this is a fucking health hazard
>finally see her walk around the corner
>she’s got her bag and jacket, her shift is obviously over
>I’m never still here by this time so I didn’t know her shift ended now
>she tells me another PT is down to take her place, thank god
>look at the gym podium, no one is there
>then I see a manlet come from behind it, he was so short that I didn’t see him
>pack up my shit and leave

10/10

>mfw I homeomorphically deform the plates into kettle bells for kettle swings after I've finished deadlifting and don't deform them back after
>gym engineers don't know where all the plates went

>The Calisthenicsmonks are simply sitting upon the sidelines but the winter is coming and their sacred playgrounds of self mastery will be frozen over.

>tfw cant leave my gym cause Polythemus has rolled a giant atlas stone over the exit.

>running on treadmill at the gym
>my size 14 shoe slips off
>my size 7 foot is revealed
>everyone laughs at me for my babyfeet
>girls come up to me to show me that their feet are bigger than mine
I can't go back to that gym now

>gym pugs
lmao enjoy getting your gains ninjad

>tfw sent to the shadow realm after mocking the king of gains

Nice.

Guys, I'm a Gymranger choosing my favored enemy, do I choose curls for rule of cool, quads for DPS or traps because they are hardest to hit?

>tfw gym twink sits on your lap mid set and makes fun of you for being a premature ejaculator

Yo don't any of y'all niggas actually lift the weights? wtf is this board?

Sent from my iPhone

>be skeleton
>try to go to gym
>clerics and paladins keep casting turn undead
>unable to even enter gym
>tfw no qt3.14 necromancer gf to help me out

The idea of girls showing that their feet are larger than yours is hot.

>Gym elections
>communist party wins
>all the jacked guys are forced to redistribute their gains
>tfw im jacked now

>Walk over to the protein smoothie dispenser
>all the cups are gone
>hear laughing behind me
>A manlet has taken the stack of cups and is using them as some sort of pseudo shoe lifts wearing half the stack on each foot
>I walk over to him and ask if I can borrow a cup
>He stares me down for a while but I stand on my tippy toes and he gets the picture
>gives me a cup and runs to the squat rack to assert his dominance
>he loads up 600 lbs in some masochistic show of dominance
>Smile to myself as he unracks the weight and takes a few steps backwards
>He goes down and the weight slowly tips to the left, the side which was missing a cup. My cup.
>I smile to myself coolly as he tumbles over
>"When will they learn"

>live next door to a gym
>been gettin confident from my mad gains
>go up to the nearest gym hottie and try to woo her
>my speech check fails and she aggroes me
>sprint out of gym
>go to bed so i can rest and improve on my stats
>can't rest when there are enemies nearby

>tfw on your second warning from the gym for not tipping the receptionist

Underrated

Manlet detected

> my sigal is urt, on a full mool I am therefore granted power over all men with the sigal of Lamen. However on nights when the stars are not visable, I am subservient to all men with the sigal of Ulek.
> mfw when I sacrifice the red bull of lamen in the Babylon squat temple and lamen manlets cant say shit
> mfw my gym has no walls and no end

kekd

>banned from the gym for throwing aid dumbbells down the manlet pit

Truly the age of Donald Trump when compassion is frowned upon.

>Barbell snake bites your neck during squats
What the fuck did I do wrong? I fed it a mouse before I started.

I kinda want to read a novel set in this universe.

>Gym witchdoctor has turned all the barbells into snakes again

Then start making those mental gains bro. All I'm seeing in this thread are excuses.

>doing squats
>gym necromancer casts weaken on me
>quickly drop the weights and try to run
>his clay golem AoE slows me
>javazon one shots me with a barbell
>they loot my corpse to steal all my gains, a barbarian uses find item on it to steal even more
>have to deload and start again

I hate PvP gyms...

>tfw starting to max out the gains to be had in the non pvp beginner gyms

10/10

>couldn't solve the receptionist's riddle
>get sent home to fuck my mom

>finally learn Deadlift Knight's move patterns
>fight him, doing pretty well
>suddenly get invaded by red Chad spirit
>he fucks my white spirit as I am helpless to do anything while fighting the knight
>kills me
>then kills knight somehow
>tfw yet another day without deadlifts

Is this the He-Man origin story?

Jason Genova is that you

>legs day
>rack is occupied by a turbomanlet with a hoodie
>3 plates atg squat
>mirin.jpeg
>ask to work in
>grunts
>after 5 sets finally get to look at his face
>mfw she is a woman
>"nice warmup user"