*touches your belly*

*touches her belly too*

as soon as she touched my stomach i came and started farting.

*teleports behind you*
Nothing personnel user..

*touches her pussy*

So, Mr. user, are you sexually active?

*report her for sexual misconduct*
*get her fired*

Heh, nothing personnel.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

never had a doctor ask this question honestly, I have had my belly rubbed though.

...

"i masturbate daily"

>"user, you've gained weight! Not healthy!"
>"I'm b-bulking"

Are you offering?

>A lot
And yes no virgin crew reporting in, she was in her 40s, gave me them puppy eyes as those mothers i would not like to fuck tend to do

>"how many sexual partners have you had?"

And has Mr daily had an STD screening lately?

*cums and starts farting uncontrollably*

Bro wtf is wrong with u

>"not really"
>Not really, yes or no?
>No

Never went back there.

nah im a virgin theres no need

That's gay. I'd tell her to blow me

I'm going to a dermatologist who also trains students next month. I'll have to undress in front of at least 3 female students in training again. How do I get my pump up?

...

hit the gym before you go?
do bodyweight with high reps ?
it's not complicated user

>"not yet today baby"
>*flexes a cep*

do they really ask this?

i watched that film today

7/7

>"no"
>"do you wanna change that"?

Kek

Me

*giggles*

*nods respectfully towards you*

>"how many sexual partners have you had?"

*touch her back*
Hey doctor, I think I'm getting a little swollen down here, could you check it out please?
Of course, let the doctor take a look
*unzips my pants to see my throbbing john*
Oh my goodness, we need to take care of this straigjt away!
*she takes off her clothes as I climb upon the examination chair, she hops on me and begins riding me*
Oh, oh, oh
Heroes never die!
*We cum in unison*

Hehe, want to schedule your next appointment?

if you go about something wrong with your dick or balls they will.

this is my fantasy desu

>be at doctor, a foregin older woman who doesnt speak the national language very well her friend
>they examine my condition that hasnt been treated by previous meds, and asks me questions
>"well if you tried that medicine then...hmm..no.."
>"yes i tried it for two weeks without effect"
>"maybe it could be chlamydia"
>tfw virgin and didnt really pay attention during sex ed, except for seing tits, dildos and stuff
>"then we will give you this treatment but before that you should give a sample of your urine in this cup and then we wai.." i get panic and i feel that i have to tell them of my non existant history of romance
>i respond abruptly
>"but, chlamydia? are you really sure?"
>"yes it all points to that, sorry"
>doctor's friend seems really sad
>"but...but i have never, you know.. how do i put this, i have never been with a woman"
>both of them succesfully hide their chuckles but i could tell
>"okay, but do you swim much?"
>"no" and i think they think i swim since i am fit by normie standards
>"then take this"
the medicine worked but i felt incredibly beta during this meeting. first time i felt dead inside. tfw when still virgin

are you scandinavian cuckold?

I believe you user

Every year at my physical
Every year Dr pajeet gives me the same sad look

sadly yes, the doctor was talking both my language and english, sometimes russian, so it made it harder to communicate.

What say if Im still a virgin at 25 tho? Do I just confess?

Bruh my fucking sides

...

This is like my fetish maximum, get a boner an show that shit off

> as soon as she touched my stomach i came and started farting.
Same here if you replace "farting" with "crying."

Who else here /crymaxing/

>Oh, oh, oh
>Heroes never die!
>*We cum in unison*

>Have testicular pain
>think its cancer
>"user are you sexually active?"
>N-no

he was male atleast

I've seen enough webms with Mercy, I want it so badly

Oops sorry about that, dont worry il be good to go again in 1 min. Until then pic related.

HOW OLD WERE YOU

>Yes.

How fucking hard is it

>doesn't have sex first thing on waking up
never going to make it

Similar.

>go for physical
>been two years since hernia surgery
>cute black nurse does my vitals
>comments on normal BP, low pulse, heavier muscular build but still rather lean
>make offhand non-autistic quip
>resident comes in later
>20's, really cute
>does physical
>notes previous hernia repair
>OK, put on the gown, I'll be back in a couple
>starts all the lower body stuff; reflex, etc.
>she seems a bit nervous bc of hernia exam. I always have the other (non-repaired) side checked
>pushes in. breathe...
>she's doing it with the wrong hand so my dick is against the back of her hand
>she's also pushing in my groin a bit harder than needed.
>shifts her fingers to push in from a different angle. breathe...
>now I'm half hard, and I'm nowhere close to small.
>she blushes as she finishes.
>tell her to use the other hand next time; I can tell she's a first year resident, and new at that.
>blushes harder when she gets to the testicular cancer exam questions
>ended up getting her # before I left

My PCP is a kinda milfy 40something. Had her for 5 years now. Worst part was I had temporary erectile dysfunction after the surgery due to nerves getting cut. I'd be soft, but about as big as I can get without getting hard. At my size that's already well above average. She was showing just enough cleavage that day for her to feel more exposed than me

Ended up that the specialist they sent me to was a woman as well. She had to show me what they wanted me to do, and it's kind of difficult to talk to a woman and tell her with a straight face you just want to be able to feel a blowjob with the same sensation you used to. The scary bit was that since that was at a teaching hospital, she went to get a bunch of med students and explain my situation. One is OK, but about 10 students looking and asking questions while I'm limp noodling there was not fun

Luckily I've recovered almost all feeling by now.

I never wash my hands.

Anyone got the webm?

> Well above average.
So like 5 inches fully erect?

Fucking dead

I just lie

I'm closer to 10" than 5"
I haven't had to try hitting on girls since the middle of HS. Every bitch is a size queen at some point in her life

>lying

Your dick is not 10 inches faggot

>Doctor raspberries belly
>get too tickled and accidentally kick her teeth out
>don't get my usual dinosaur sticker because Doc's too busy getting wheeled off on a stretcher

Fucking bitch KNOWS I'm ticklish its her fault.

What flick is this?

not recently

i was nineteen at the time, it was last year.

desu if someone I don't know puts there hand towards there im gonna tense like a motherfucker.

In Bruges. Really good, give it a watch

>Doctor does says something that doesn't make sense
>Confuses me
>Tells me she was just trying to make me laugh

;_;

lmao this is perfect

I respectfully tell her that I came here for a professional treatment and if she continues I will have to report her to the appropriate authorities.

Thank you Mam.

>height: 6'1
>weight: 195
>sex: no

holy fuck man you are not 10 inches shut the fuck up faggot, literally 0 "HUGE COCK" porn actors are 10 inches. If you are gonna lie on the internet at least make it fucking believable.

>middle aged male doctor
>"please remove your pants so I can examine your testicles"
>taking off my pants
>spaghetti everywhere
>doctor does the turn and cough
>sheepishly pull up my pants when he's done
>turns and gives me a sympathetic look
>"don't worry user, spontaneous erections are very common for all ages, even infants"

...

Not him but 7.6 inches is closer to 10 than to 5...

I always say "please relax your stomach" and they get my meaning

>derm residents / medical students on their subIs
>noticing anything other than signs of rare disorders and a mounting sense of depression

"M-m-m-m-maculopapular"

You actually get to pick one here sorry.

t. 7.51"

I was autistic enough to do this

> get allergy shots
> qt shot nurse
> plz stop flexing your arms
> im not ;^)

>Go to doctor for first time in a long time for a physical
>Figure I'm old enough to get a prostate exam now so she'll be sticking her fingers up my bum
>Go through the usual
>Okay you may remove your pants and I'll gonna check your testicles
>She rubs my balls for a bit
>Didn't get a boner
>She says okay and turns around
>Figure she's about to stick her fingers up my bum
>Turn around and bend over across the bench
>She turns back around and sees me bending over to show her my hairy ass right in her face
>Oh, uh you can pull your pants back up now
>Oh okay sorry
>Can't look her in the eyes the rest of the examination

wishful thinking?

Y-yeah, with your mom.

>let me check those balls for testicular cancer
>bust a nut from female contact

>am a grower not a shower
>dick is 6in long and 6in circumference when erected
>baby small dick when not hard
ITS NOT FAIR
>

Go in for ultrasound on my nut every 6 months (cancer). Urologist does it right with a harem of 20 something nurses. Always get so spergy about it and dick shrivels up like a rasin.

Knowing that feel. Knowing so hard.

...

>figure I'm old enough for a prostate exam
anybody else read this as user sounding a bit eager?

It's an old meme, but it checks out.

>A- a whole gallon? Every day?